7.
Quidditch, Quarrels and Quirks
So they'd been reprimanded and commissioned. Funny thing being, they were commissioned to do what they were reprimanded for. Making trouble. It was true, that their next Quidditch match was against Slytherin. It was also true that they relied on brute force to win them matches. But it was excessively true that this time Gryffindor wanted to fight dirty too. Of course they protested and whined and complained — they liked to think of their own scenarios, come up with their own targets and pull their own pranks sometimes with a little outside help, not to mention that the exams were in the week between then and the match. But the threat of having their Cloak turned in to McGonagall and being uncovered by their own house kind of gave an idea about how far Gryffindor wanted to go. So today, when according to Lily's study schedule they should have been revising for Charms, they were pooling together their props and pranks.
"I don't believe they're making us do this," James seethed, pulling out the pancake mix he'd been stowing away since their visit to the kitchens. "We're not prank mercenaries. Our genius isn't buyable."
"Maybe we should try and call their bluff?" Sirius suggested. For a moment it seemed like a good idea, until Remus sighed.
"Somehow I don't think Lily and Sally were kidding."
"We should get their Seeker," Peter said, going back to the matter they had been discussing. "Match usually goes to the one who catches the Snitch, so it their Seeker is… ahem… malfunctioning, Sally should have a good chance, right?"
"That's pretty smart, Peter," James laughed. "A bit out of character for you though."
"I try," he replied. James sat back down, adding the pancake mix to the pile of props on the floor.
"So what have we got to work with?"
"Eggs and more eggs… streamers… what's left of that bang-broth we fed to Rosier's cat… ummm… oh look, a case of slime! Where'd you get that, Remus?"
"Christmas off my brother."
"Errrr… this pancake stuff, fizzy drink, super glue… countless stupid gags…" Sirius sighed and put down a fake roast turkey that sprang back up and started running around the room. "Nothing remotely dangerous."
"Hexes? What about something like the Confundus Charm?" Remus asked. They continued to ponder. Peter looked up eventually.
"One of us could impersonate the Seeker and lose the match on purpose," he suggested and they all looked at him. Sirius was gaping, and James stared at him as though he were ill.
"Peter… wait… no you can't be Peter…"
Sirius grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Who are you and what have you done with my little Petie?"
"No really," he laughed in reply, shoving Sirius' hands away. "There's lots of ways to do it. We could Transfigure one of us… we could use some sort of potion…"
"There's one which turns you into someone else, but it only lasts for an hour, and we don't know how to Transfigure ourselves," Remus, the voice of reason, replied. "But you know… I think Peter might have something. Hmmm… James, I'm going to need the Invisibility Cloak."
James stared at him now. "Why?"
"I need to sneak into the Restricted Section of the Library. I need a book, and we'll need some pretty strange stuff I'll bet. Sirius, your mother has a lot of weird potions ingredients, right?"
"Our pantry looks like the Apothecary," he replied simply.
"Do you think you could write home tonight and ask for some stuff?"
"Sure. I'm sure she won't mind."
Remus nodded. "Okay. Next week Gryffindor plays Slytherin. This is going to be hard… we can't use the potion that turns you into someone else, because we don't have enough time. So instead we need a potion that makes people think you're someone else. We have to sneak it into the drinks for breakfast before the match. I'm sure Sirius can do that, he must know the way to the kitchen by heart by now."
His reply was a beaming grin and a chest-thump. Remus went back into thought for a moment, and then turned to Peter.
"We need someone to catch the Seeker. Peter, I'll need you to incapacitate him somehow. Lock him in a cupboard or something."
"There's a Vanishing Cabinet in a room near Filch's office, that'd take care of him for the match and confuse him enough so he wouldn't know what had gone on," he said. They all nodded again. Remus was thinking.
"Good idea, Peter. Now what does the Seeker look like?"
"Not very bulky, but he's tall," James remembered. "He's a third year."
"James, you're the best at potions here, so you can make this draught we'll need. We won't need much — if I remember correctly, you don't need much more than a drop per person. We should put some in the food too, just in case. We'll need a fair bit. You up to it?"
"Yeah. There's a storeroom just below us where I can do it."
"So what are you going to do?" Peter asked, turning to Remus, who grinned coolly.
"I'm going to impersonate the Seeker."
*
Very early in the morning, long, long before anyone would be up, the portrait door into Gryffindor Tower opened but it looked as though no one came out of it. Tiny, padding footsteps could be heard along the corridor, but there was nobody there. The tiny footsteps continued all along the corridor, down the staircases, along the halls and down the great marble staircase in the dim, silent Entrance Hall. They tapped quietly on the stone of the dungeon stairs, along the lantern-lit corridor and they stopped directly in front of a large painting of fruit. A hand appeared out of nowhere, with no body there for it to belong to. It tickled the pear in the painting. It wiggled, and then turned into a handle. The disembodied hand grasped it and opened the kitchen door, pulling the painting closed behind it and vanishing.
On the other side of the painting, the hand grabbed something that didn't seem to be there, and then there was an arm for the hand, a body for the arm, legs for the body and a head and the other arm appeared, holding a large flask of something. The Invisibility Cloak was draped over one of the boy's arms and there was not an elf in sight. The intruder crept along the house tables, which were already laden with all kinds of foods and drinks. Then, starting at the staff table, he began to add a drop of the potion to every drink flagon and piece of food.
*
The school was rowdy with excitement over breakfast in the Great Hall. The Gryffindor-Slytherin matches were always a talking point, Gryffindor and Slytherin being the two most competitive houses in the school, so much so that when they were at loggerheads, it was a sight to be believed only if beheld. As for the teams, they were both gone, down to the change rooms to prepare for the match. But there was another notable absence from the Gryffindor table. Four first-year boys were nowhere to be seen.
Meanwhile, already seated in the stadium were three of those four boys. Peter, James and Sirius were trying not to grin too broadly as they watched the Slytherin team enter the change room. One henna-russet haired boy was probably the most amusing thing they had ever seen in their life. Sirius was gazing at his watch. He looked up at the doors as the rest of the school came down to the pitch. Soon the seats around them were filling up. Before long they found themselves surrounded by Lily and her group. The girls themselves were sitting in the row behind them, and when Lily reached forward and tapped James on the shoulder, it was to give him and meaningful look. When he turned back, he grimaced.
"I suddenly feel very nervous."
"Why?" Peter asked, looking down at the pitch. Sirius stared down in the same direction, his jaw set.
"We have an audience, Petie."
"We usually do."
"But this audience is going to turn us in with our Invisibility Cloak if they don't see what they want to," James said under the sound of the girls behind them talking to each other. Peter's face fell.
"Oh. Yeah."
"Welcome to the last Quidditch match of the year! Gryffindor versus Slytherin!" the voice of Rohan Wood thundered around the stands and the crowd roared as one. The players zoomed out onto the field, seven green streaks and seven scarlet ones, which all hovered in the air. They could see the captains; Genista for Gryffindor and a burly-looking boy with black hair for Slytherin. They could see, looking determined with his eyes on Genista, Remus-as-Slytherin Seeker high above them.
"Captain Genista has won all her matches except the one against Ravenclaw at the beginning of the season, so the Slytherin Seeker…"
"See the Seeker?" James turned around to face Lily. "That's not the Seeker."
"You sabotaged the game?"
"You could say that," Sirius replied. "But not so much the game, rather, how the school sees the game. Trust me, this one's in the bag."
"It had better be," Bill said between cheers, "or that Cloak goes straight to McGonagall. Along with what you tried to do to the match."
"Harsh," Sirius chirped. "We could be suspended!"
"Don't you boys worry," Midgeon cut off Bill and Lily before they could make them feel worse. "If you did your homework I'm sure you'll pull this one off fine."
They grinned and turned back to the match. The score was already ten-zero Slytherin's way.
"Blinks passes to King, King passes to Mansfield… Mansfield doges the Bludger from Rosier… good Bludger return there at Slytherin Keeper Malfoy by Fawcett… Mansfield scores! The score is tied ten-ten!"
The match dragged on. Slowly the scores climbed and climbed, and before long they had tied again. Gryffindor was up. Slytherin was up. Bludgers and brooms rocketed this way and that after the balls they chased.
"I must've seen that Snitch myself a hundred times!" they heard Bill cry. "What're the Seekers doing?"
But even as he said it, Genista dived. Remus-as-Seeker, in an effort to pretend, dived after her, but he had made sure she had a head start. And the head start was all she needed. Within seconds, Genista held the little golden ball, and the game was Gryffindor's.
*
Remus had managed to get out of the changing rooms quick-smart, and was with them in the Entrance Hall barely a quarter of an hour later. He was still getting looks and waves that were clearly not intended for him, and he sighed.
"Potion should wear off by about lunchtime."
"That's pretty soon. Come on; let's get back to Gryffindor Tower before someone sees you."
"Oh but someone has, Mr Potter."
They turned around. Standing behind them with her arms crossed and a taunt look on her face was Professor McGonagall. The same thought went through all their heads at once — had the others told anyway? But though the look on her face said she knew they'd done something, it didn't, however, say she knew what it was that they did.
"Come with me, you four."
She turned on her heel and led them away, up stairs and along corridors, opening a door near the Transfiguration corridor and ushering them in. They'd been shown into her office. She strode to her table and then turned with a swift sweep, glaring hard at them.
"Now I don't pretend to know exactly what it was that you did today, but first seeing Mr Gundy and then Mr Lupin as being the same person is enough to make anyone certain that you've been up to something. I'd assume of course that it would have something to do with perhaps a charm… or maybe a potion? Out with it boys."
"Well, you see Professor," James began, putting on his most hard-done-by voice, "we might have done it but we didn't do it of our own free will."
"Oh? Well whose will did you do it by then?"
They all bit their lips. They couldn't rat on their house, however unfair they may have been. Sirius thought quickly.
"S-Severus Snape, Professor. He said he and his friends were going to do something horrible to us if we didn't."
"Didn't what, Mr Black?"
"Didn't… switch Remus with Gundy," he admitted. McGonagall looked for a moment livid, but there seemed to be something sparkling in her eyes.
"So that's what it was then, was it? And why exactly would a Slytherin want you to sabotage their chances for the Quidditch Cup?"
"Well we always thought that Snape's priorities were in his backside, Professor, so we're not too sure on that either. But we think he hoped that Remus would fall off the broom or something."
"I see. Well, I will have to speak to Mr Snape, but you mark my words, if anything like this ever happens again there will be worse consequences in store for you apart from the detentions you will all be on tomorrow night. I believe Professor Kettleburn has some creatures that need grooming, so I'll be checking with him today, and I'll inform you tomorrow in class if there are to be any changes."
"Are you going to make them rematch?" Peter asked shakily. McGonagall stared at him, but what seemed to be a smile flashed across her face.
"This close to exams? Why, there just wouldn't be enough time," she sighed. "I suppose we'll have to keep this little incident to ourselves and hope that it doesn't reoccur next year. Off you all go."
They filed out of her office and into the hall. Once they were far away from her office, they all breathed a sigh of relief. James stared at the path ahead.
"Cor blimey," he gasped. "We were almost busted!"
"That was fast thinking, Sirius, you've done us proud," Remus grinned. "Detention with Kettleburn… that shouldn't be too bad. I don't mind grooming animals."
"Unfortunately it seems likely that the animals might not want to be groomed…" Peter mused. "What if they're dangerous animals? Kettleburn teaches seventh years about Hippogriffs and things like that."
"Hippogriffs aren't at all bad," Sirius waved it off. "Just don't insult them."
"Well Marauders," James sighed, "I am officially proud of us. We've sabotaged a Quidditch match and come out with nothing more severe than a detention with Kettleburn."
"If I had a glass, I'd toast," Sirius chirped. "To the Marauders! And to Remus who isn't too shabby on a broomstick if I do say so myself."
They laughed and chattered all the way down the corridor and back to Gryffindor Tower, where they were given a hero's welcome — thanks to Midgeon and her gang of girls, the news of their ultimate prank on the school had spread like wildfire. Some said that Remus still looked like Gundy to them, and the Quidditch team admitted that even they had been fooled.
The term was drawing very much to its close. The weather was warming and the skies were clear, the End of Term Feast was nigh, and Gryffindor's House Cup victory was imminent. So would end a perfect first year for four first-years. The era of the Marauders had officially begun.
*
"Is what I heard true?"
They all looked up from their luggage. Standing not five feet from them was the raven-haired girl Sirius, James and Remus had shared the compartment with on the way to Hogwarts a little less than a year ago now, a time that seemed now so recent yet far away. They straightened up and looked at her, confused.
"Is what you heard true?" James asked.
"Did you switch Remus and Gundy in that last Quidditch match?"
"You're a little slow," Peter said, and earned a whack across the head from Sirius. It seemed unprovoked, so he stared at him as Sirius picked up the conversation.
"Before you say anything, I'd like you to know that your friend Lily forced us into it."
"Lily? She's hardly the sort…"
"Let's say all of Gryffindor wanted a piece of the plan… or… most of Gryffindor anyway," James said. Remus heaved his trunk up into the compartment.
"Sit with us and we'll explain," he suggested, and Mana looked at him as if he were mad. He saw her face and shrugged. "I dunno… just a suggestion."
"Yeah, come on Mana. All the other girls have managed to get a piece of us," Sirius joked. She looked suddenly utterly offended though, and bundled up her cases, walking off. Sirius gave a start, realised how it had come out, and turned. "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Whether you meant it like that or not, that's how it came out," James sighed. "You'll need to talk to Midgeon for damage control."
"Now I feel like an ass," he replied as Remus jerked on his sleeve.
"Well get on the train and feel like an ass. I'm sure you wouldn't like to spend your summer break standing on the platform. Then you'll look like an ass too. Don't worry, she'll forget about it. Don't know why you're bothered — it's not like you talk to her much anyway."
"That's not the point!" he wailed as he let them pull him into the carriage. The doors were closed not far behind them, and as they settled into a compartment, they heard the train whistle. In two months, they would be back here again, having more adventures when they began their second year at Hogwarts.
What will happen next year?
Why is Remus always sick and away once a month?
And will Rubelt and Snape get a break?
This next in Chapter 8: Back to Hogwarts!
