AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, the Author makes an appearance!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
Chapter 2
Name this chapter whatever you want
"Perhaps you should enjoy the feeling of hunger," Legolas said, "for you might just satisfy someone else's'
"Naw," Merry said, "I'm too small, after all, I'm just a hobbit. If you ask me, you would be the more filling one. Besides, they might already accustomed to the taste of your kin's flesh," not overly confident about his explanation, he started to back toward the tree. This wasn't exactly comforting to Legolas either.
Legolas gave a good natured smile, "and I suppose they've never tasted hobbit? You do remember, old Mr. Bilbo met Wargs before-"
"That was probably the first time they've ever set their ugly, over-sized eyes on a hobbit. I'm sure they've seen (and tasted) many more elves before that."
The leader of the Wargs suddenly leaped forward and sunk his foul teeth into Legolas' throat---
"Mr. Author person?" Strider said.
What? And I'm a girl. Make it quick, Authors aren't supposed to talk to the characters in the story.
"Yes," Strider began, "but isn't Legolas supposed to live through the Trilogy?" He gazed at Legolas' limp body that the Warg now stood over. The great beast growled and bowed his head over the Elf's corpse. Then, it began to drag the lifeless body towards the other wolves.
Yeah, but this is Lord of the COWS, not Lord of the RINGS. I can do whatever I want to Legolas. And you. Besides, I control the Wargs, they will do whatever I tell them, whenever I tell them. Usually.
"But don't you think it's a little harsh? I mean, to end his life at such a young age, he's only 2,931 you know," Boromir reasoned.
Hey, in the book, you're the one who dies; and Frodo is 10 years older than you. I'm sparing your life and taking his.
"Still, lots of people like Legolas, if you were to kill him now, how many people would want to read your stories?" Frodo said.
Why would I care? I'm open to flames. Would you rather I give Legolas a more painful death? I could get him stabbed with a Morgul blade… You know what I mean Frodo.
Frodo shuddered. "I suppose not, still, it would be greatly appreciated if you could- revive him, you already took Gandalf anyways."
I did NOT kill Gandalf. Besides, I never wrote that part. I started right after you left Moria, if you remember so. JRR Tolkien "killed" off Gandalf. Bologna if you ask me. Saw it coming the whole time.
"So, you're saying Gandalf isn't dead?" Aragorn said.
Yes.
"What about Legolas?" Frodo asked, watching as the Warg began tearing flesh off the carcass.
Eww… I told them not to do that.
"They don't listen very well, do they?" Gimli asked. There was no answer other than a few muffled cries floating to their ears. One was unmistakably the Author's and the other's was unknown.
"Er… excuse me… Legolas is still—"
"Watch what you say," Strider felt a hand on his shoulder; he turned around to see the Elf fully recovered. There was no indication, other than a small gash on his neck, that he had ever been injured. The Wargs had all left or disappeared also.
"But how—"
My cousin was making me feel guilty. She said I was very MEAN to you, Legolas, I guess that's good, because you get to live. She will probably humiliate Nanook* if I don't, and we can't have that happening, can we? Also, I'm not sure if you remember, Gimli, when I killed him in another story and told her that it was Tolkien's writing. I don't think she ever forgave me.
And don't ask how I revived him; Authors can do anything in their stories. They're not supposed to speak either. So don't talk to me unless you really have to. Keep going on your way to Mordor, or where ever you want to go.
"But you're the one who tells what happens to us!" Aragorn cried. "But if you're still listening, I would just like to ask, If you're going to continue this story until the end of the Fellowship of the ring, could you please end on a less, ominous note?"
I'll see what I can do.
"One last quick question," Boromir said, stepping forwards, "am I still going to die? I mean, get killed by Orcs-
"Uruk Hai," Merry interjected.
"-or something like that?"
All in a good time, Boromir my friend, all in a good time…
"I don't like that answer," he sighed.
A/N ~ * Nanook is my dog.
