Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad as always for betaing.
I originally wrote this directly after seeing Meridian but couldn't go near it until after I saw Abyss when I finished the other two as well.
JACK
He's gone.
I opened my mouth and told Jacob to stop, to stop saving him and now…
He's not dead. I keep reminding myself of this; he's not dead.
He's just gone.
x
I don't understand why he left but to be perfectly honest I guess I never really did understand him. Daniel was one of those people who was just brilliant and not only in the IQ area. He had a quality about him that drew people to him; hell it got me.
The entire base is in mourning. Ever since he did that glow thing in the infirmary there's been a depression everyone is feeling. Sam's being comforted by Jacob but she's pretty much inconsolable since her 'twin' has gone. Teal'c is in constant Kel-no-reem, Hammond is pretending to work, Janet is with Cassie and I'm in Daniel's office. We'll have to tell Kasuf and Skaara, I'll have to do it because I owe it to them both. Two more people who loved him, his family.
x
He seemed happy. Content with his decision.
That's something I haven't seen in him in a long time.
Losing Sha're, Shifu entering and leaving his life so quickly, not being able to save his friend Sarah and death all around constantly ate away at him. I could see it in his eyes over the past few months yet he didn't think about himself when he stopped that weapon.
That's who he was, that was the kind of person Daniel was…is, self-sacrificing.
We'll have to work out what to do with all his stuff. My office always looked the epitome of tidiness compared to this mess but he always knew where everything was.
Gently picking up Sha're's picture I gaze in wonder at the sweet woman who loved my friend as deeply as he loved her. It gets me wondering if he would have done all the insane things he did if she were alive and with him.
I'm guessing no.
So many times over the past few years I wished she were here for him but none more than today because he wouldn't have left me…us.
x
Even as he lay dying I couldn't tell him what he truly meant to me. Daniel was the best friend I ever had. He saw me in the darkest moments of my life and pulled me through. I don't think he ever realised how much we all need him as our guiding light. How much we all love him
Looking back down on his guiding light I smile an idea springing to mind. I carefully wrap her picture in a piece of cloth and leave the base.
x
I don't honestly remember the last time I slept but I don't feel tired as I sit here fixing this. It took me a while to find the right picture of Daniel but finally I did. It was taken in a rare moment not long after he'd come back to Earth when he was daydreaming about happier times and his smile actually reached his eyes. When I finished I fixed it in the frame and placed it prominently on the mantelpiece. Looking at them together the way they should be, I finally let myself feel it. As my tears started to fall I raised my beer to the man who opened the universe to us but lost so much because of it.
Good luck to you Dr Jackson, Daniel, Danny, Spacemonkey, my friend. Good luck to you wherever you are.
