Waaaaaaaaayle. I was looking through all my old school assignments and I cam across

this story I had started in sixth grade. I had been forced to read "The Cay" (it really

wasn't that bad) and I decided to make a little fanfic about it. It was, of course, extremely

stupid, as I don't like writing serious stories, and I nearly died from laughing at the page

long start of my story. I didn't finish it then, so I am finishing it now but I am going to re-

Chapter One: The Nazi Crabs Attack Phillip's Home ^^ heh. crabs scare me.

Once upon a time, there was this little dude named Phillip, a skinny little kid who thought

he was a big tough grown-up. He was living on an island of some kind with his mother

and father during World War II His father worked in the oil business. One day, his

mother called him into the kitchen.

Phillip: *tap dances into kitchen*

Phillip's Mom: Phillip, as you know, the Nazi Crabs have been attacking all ships that

leave this island.

Phillip: Yeah, I know. *thinks about the boats of the Nazi Crabs that he saw farther out in

the harbor*

Phillip's Mom: Well, your father wants us to leave.

Phillip: But WHY!?!?

Phillip's Mom: Because it's getting too dangerous for us to stay here! They keep flying

over the island and trying to bomb us!

Phillip: *sighs. remembers seeing the Crabs in their planes flying over his house* Fine.

*tap dances back out of the room*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Phillip and his mommy board a boat and head off to America where they will be safe.

The boat gets past all the Nazi Crab boats and the Crabs shake their pinchers in fury at

them, their buggy eyes glaring. Phillip's boat for a reason I can't remember sinks and he

and his mother rush to the safety of the life-rafts.

Phillip's Mother: Come on, Phillip! We need to get into a life-raft!

Phillip: OKAY!!! ( *)_(* ) *runs with mother toward life- rafts*

Phillip is hit over the head with something and he gets knocked out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Phillip: *wakes up on a raft with a crazy-looking old black guy and a demonic-looking

cat* Where am I?

Crazy-looking Old Black Guy: You're on a raf'! I'm Timoty! You was hit on de 'ed by a

fallin' beam o' wood and was knocked out! I saved you, young boss! SQWEEEEEEE-

CHEESE!!!!!

----Author's note: I'm not racist, Timothy really did talk like this (not the

'sqweeeee-cheese' part, obviously).

Phillip: *looks over at cat* Who's this? *cat notices that Phillip is talking about him and

hisses*

Timothy: Dat be Stoo Citty!

Stoo Citty: *yowls*

Phillip: uuumm. okay.

Timothy: *stares at Phillip* Stoo Citty is one of Them!!!!!

Phillip: E?

Timothy: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem.

Phillip: Uhhhh-huuuuh. *edges away from Timothy*

Timothy: *sticks hand in water, pulls out a rock; puts in mouth, chews. continues to stare

at poor Phillip*

Phillip: Sooooooo. *tries to break the extremely uncomfortable silence* What's that

cat's problem, anyway?

Timothy: *continues chewing rock* Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem.

Phillip: Ooookaaaaaay. *decides to stop attempting conversation*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The next day was much the same as this one.

Phillip: Do you have any idea where we are?

Timothy: We be in de ocean!

Phillip: Well, yeah. I figured that out for myself.

Timothy: *stares at Phillip* 'Ave you ever been down dere *points thumb downward at

the ocean* for a chat wit de beeg clam Oogaboo?

Phillip: Nooooo. Have you?

Timothy: Oh, yes. Many a time I 'ave visited me old fr'en Oogaboo. I stay down dere for

many an hour!

Phillip: I'm sure you do.

Timothy: I also invented de ocean!

Phillip: Yup.

Timothy: I reememba dat day! I was goin' for a sweem, when I re'lized dat dere was no

watah to sweem een, so I invented de ocean! Den-

Phillip: I think I'll go back to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Phillip wakes up the next day to discover that he's blind.

Phillip: AHHH!! Timothy! I'm blind!!!

Timothy: *is facing the other direction watching the pretty lil fishies hungrily* Mebee

you just 'ave yer 'at ovah you eyes. I did dat meself, once!

Phillip: I DON'T HAVE A HAT!!!!

Timothy: Then mebee it be your blankets. *catches one of the fish deftly with his bare

hands. Turns around and throws at Phillip, who is waving his hand frantically in front of

his face* You can 'ave thees feesh. I will cath anodder one for meself.

Phillip: *fish smacks him in the face because his is blind and (obviously) can't catch it*

OW!! What was that!?!?!

Timothy: I gave you a feesh to eat, but you let it get away!

Phillip: I did NOT let it get away!!!! I've gone blind and I can't see anything!!!!

Timothy: Mebee you 'ave your blanket ovah your eyes.

Phillip: I DO NOT HAVE A BLANKET OVER MY EYES!! DO YOU SEE A

BLANKET ANYWHERE NEAR ME?!?

Timothy: No, but it could be invisible!

Phillip: (sarcastic) Oh, yes. That's it. I carry invisible blankets and I put them over my

eyes so that I can't see anything because I think it's funny!!!

Timothy: See? Exactly what I said!

Phillip:AAAAHHRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Timothy: Lemme test to see eef you really be blind. *picks up Stoo Citty by the tail and

chucks him at Phillip's face. The cat hits him with a cross between a hiss and a screaming

yowl* Yup! You be blind!

******************** YAY!!! How did you like it? It'll get funnier as time goes by, I promise.