// These characters belong to Tamora Pierce. The plot and OCs belong to me : )
Fairy Tale
Cadenza
"Stupid ugly hateful bitch!" The door to the ladies' washroom slammed. "That horrible, ugly idiot…ugly ugly UGLY!" Gods he hated her. In his vocabulary, 'ugly' was the worst insult possible, and since it couldn't be applied to him--appearance-wise, anyway--that gave him priveledge to use it on whomever he chose. Namely Kel.
Ugly hateful bitch that she was.
With a humph he shoved the jelly-filled sack into his brassiere, examining his false appendages carefully in the mirror to ensure total "symmetry." The door opened and shut again, this time admitting a couple of older blonde girls.
"Oh, did you find your earring?" the taller of the two asked, upon seeing Joren.
"Oh, yes," the boy replied in falsetto.
"What awful luck, to drop it in the middle of the dance floor," the shorter girl added. "But after you screamed, all of the men got down on their hands and knees to look for it."
*Heh heh. And nobody noticed me grab the real missing item. Gods, I'm clever.* "Men," he laughed aloud. "They are so sweet, are they not? Hahaha…"
"You know," the first girl added thoughtfully, "I don't think they know you found it. Everyone's still out there looking for it…"
"What?" Joren cracked open the door and peered out, to see most of the male contingent of the crowd on its hands and knees crawling over the ballroom floor engaged in search. He shut it quickly.
"They can be so amusing, non?"
The girls reapplied their facepaints, chatting amicably, then left, giving Joren time to adjust and readjust his falsies, touch up his paint and blow a kiss to his reflection in the mirror.
"Go get 'em, tiger. Rowr!" he purred, reaching for the door knob, when a stifled sound reached his ears. *Someone's in here?* he panicked. *Did they see what I was doing?* He glanced around, looking for the source of the sound, when his eyes fell on a scrap of yellow fabric partially hidden behind the furthest sink.
"Hey, you shouldn't spy on people in the bathroom," Joren began, approaching the hidden party. "It's creepy and people don't--" He stopped. *Oh. Gods. Oh oh oh gods.*
She.
Was.
GORGEOUS.
A silk, yellow-gold dress billowing over a slight frame. Cinnamon ginger hair snaking down shoulders and framing a clear, lightly freckled complexion. Wide hazel eyes staring up at him from beneath long, caramel lashes. Tears streaking paths down rosy cheeks. Joren's speech left him.
So did his tact.
"You should blow your nose or something, it's kind of gross."
The girl fell into a fresh wave of sobbing. Frantically Joren knelt down and tried to calm her. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean anything by it! Don't cry, I'm sorry--look, would you calm down already?!" Her sobs slowly subsided and Joren grabbed a washcloth and offered it to her in leiu of a handkerchief.
"I'm s-sorry," she sniffled, wiping her eyes. "It's just--just been an awful week. Forgive me for bothering you."
"That's okay." *Gods, she's hot.* "I don't like dances anyway." He leaned down until he was sitting beside her. "So, what's your name?"
"G-Garnet."
"Like the gemstone?" She nodded. "That's a pretty name. So what's with trying to flood the bathroom?" Garnet blushed, lowering her eyes.
"It's silly, really," she hesitated. Joren nodded encouragingly. "I--I asked this boy I really like to come to the Summer Festival with me. I thought he liked me back, but I was wrong."
"He turned you down?" Garnet nodded, tears springing into her eyes once again. "It's okay," Joren murmured consolingly. "I'm sure he didn't mean it badly. I mean, who wouldn't want to go out with a cute girl like you?" Garnet gave him an odd look. *Idiot! Don't come on as a lesbian if you want her to like you as a guy!* He stood up.
"I have to go find my boyfriend now," he apologized, with a certain emphasis on 'boy.' "Are you going to be okay?" Garnet smiled and rose. *Damn, she's taller than me. Hope she doesn't notice…*
"Yes, I feel better. Thank you so much, I hope we see each other again soon."
***
"Auuggh! That jerk! I'd like to wring his scrawny little pretty-boy neck!" Kel kicked over a bird bath for emphasis. She had wandered into the gardens adjoining the ballroom, which remained vacant for time being. Fortunately. "Grr!! That pompous, smart-assed, arrogant self-absorbed little snot!"
"Oh, do you know Joren too?" Kel turned to see a woman lounging on a stone bench, red lace skirts fanning out around her legs. The woman smiled, all wine-red lips and glossy black curls. "He's in my shift at Guillaum's."
"How'd you know…"
The woman laughed. "Arrogant smart-ass pretty-boy? Have you seen the men around here? Joren's the only one who even remotely qualifies as pretty."
"The only one? Mad'moiselle, you can be too 'arsh." A young man with sandy blonde hair appeared behind Kel on the garden path, approaching the woman and resting beside her, arms wrapping around her waist.
"I meant local boys, then," the woman amended. To Kel, she inclined her head gracefully. "My name is Claudia, and this Kangenese gentleman is Lord Blaise."
"Keladry of Mindelan," Kel returned shortly.
"Oh, the Girl?" asked Claudia. "I wondered what you'd look like. I guess Joren was lying about the beard."
"Beard?!" Oh, she was going to kill him. No doubt. Blaise chuckled.
"You're talking about Philippe, yes? You must admit, 'e is stunning tonight. 'is majesty has excellent taste."
"His majesty?" repeated Kel dully. What did the king have to do with this?
"Prince Laurent of Kangen, my sovereign," Blaise replied. "'e is that dark-'aired chap leading your friend around. You see, 'is majesty wanted very much to attend, but does not care much for women. But you Tortallans are so--'ow can I say it?--unapproving of such things. So 'e found a boy beautiful enough to be a girl and simple dressed 'im up."
"So that was the prince," murmured Kel thoughtfully. That explained Joren's newfound hobby of dressing in girls' clothes. "Then why is he dancing with Nealan?"
"Are you talking about that boy?" a new voice asked. An older man, mostly bald but trim, appeared on the sidewalk, holding a champagne class. "Poor lad. Not even a spy deserves that. 'e's not even dressed for the occasion. Devaux," he added at Kel, by way of introduction. He had the same accent as Lord Blaise.
"Spy?" Kel was thoroughly confused.
"The tall one, with brown 'air?" asked Blaise. "'E was supposed to flirt with our Majesty to get information out of 'im. This is 'is punishment, non?"
"Of course, the little one 'as to dress up as a girl," the older man replied. "Per'aps that is worse?"
"Is that one even a spy? I cannot tell. Of course, it does not matter at all, you know?" Kel sent a bewildered glance at Claudia, who shrugged and leaned into Blaise's chest.
"So, Nealan isn't actually gay and is only pretending to be so he can get information?"
"What does being 'appy 'ave to do with it?" asked Blaise, mystified. "But yes, 'e is only pretending to wish for our Majesty's affections."
"I think per'aps 'e would be much 'appier without them right now, oui?" chortled Devaux. Blaise and Claudia laughed. Kel bowed hurriedly.
"Please excuse me, there's somewhere I have to go."
***
"Let me die. Let me die. Let me die." Nealan chanted his mantra softly as finally the Waltz from Hell ended and Laurent released him from his embrace.
"Did you not like the song, Nealan? Per'aps we could dance to a different one instead?"
"NO! Err, no, that's alright, thanks anyway." Gods, he just wanted to get out of here. If Kel had seen them, he was doomed.
"Well, well, it looks like Garvey owes me five nobles." Zahir sauntered up beside Nealan and Laurent, a smirk borrowed from Joren pasted over his face. "I knew you'd show us your true colors before the summer was over. It's awfully hard to hide it. Not that you did."
Nealan's face reddened to a dark shade of beet. "What are you babbling about, Alhaz?"
"Just a little bet to see how long 'til you admitted to having an 'alternative lifestyle,' shall we say?"
"Tortallans can win money for such things?" Laurent was fascinated.
"NO. And I'm NOT," growled Nealan.
"There you are, Laurent. Come on, I'm thirsty." The girl Zahir had seen earlier with the Kangenese prince, the one that looked like Joren in a dress, appeared beside Laurent and took him by the arm. She glanced at Zahir, blushed beet red, and muttered an excuse to leave. When both had gone, Nealan breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank the gods they're gone. What are you smirking about?"
"Apparently you're so ugly you turn even gay men turn straight." He put up a defensive hand before Nealan could retaliate. "But at least I got ten nobles out of it!"
"Why?"
"I bet Cleon you'd only last one dance before he got tired of you."
"Cleon? That traitor!"
"And another twenty from Jesslaw--the older one. Loudmouth. He thought you'd come in a dress yourself with a friend or get one of your's to dress up to go with you. Because really, nobody's so much of a loser they'd come all alone." The tribesman grinned ferally. "But I had complete faith in you."
"What sort of messed up gambling addict are you?!" Nealan shrieked. "Anyway, it's not like you've got a date." At that moment a tall, ginger-haired girl approached them, taking Zahir by the hand.
"Who's your friend, Zahir?" she asked, looking at Nealan from large hazel eyes.
"Just a loser who has no date," sighed Zahir dramatically. "We should pity him." The girl looked at Nealan sympathetically.
"You stupid--AUGH! Nevermind, I'm not going to deal with you." He turned to stride away when Zahir grabbed him by the pony-tail.
"Just to settle my curiosity, is that tunic velvet, or velveteen? Because Lord Wyldon and I were--" Nealan let out an enraged roar and stampeded away. Zahir blinked.
"You know, you might ought to seek some counseling for this whole gambling thing," suggested the girl.
Zahir shrugged. "I have a bet with Joren that my family can become as wealthy as his within the year. I have to start somewhere." He noticed his date's face fall at Joren's mention. "Are you alright? Where were you?"
She smiled. "I was in the bathroom--ladies', of course. I was crying about Joren, you know, and this girl who looked a lot like him came in and cheered me up." She laughed. "I think she might have been coming on to me or something. But she looked so much like him."
"Did she figure out your umm, secret?"
"No, but I almost gave it away! She asked my name and I nearly said 'Garvey,' but I said 'Garnet' instead at the last minute."
"Quick save, man."
"Thanks. After all the trouble of dressing up like a girl, it'd be a shame to give it away in a careless moment."
***
"Excuse me, your Highness? King Jonathan wishes to speak with you. It shall only be a moment." The Prince bowed to the courtier and set down his champagne glass.
"Alas, duty calls," he sighed. "I shall be back right away, alright, Philippe?"
"I eagerly await your return, my prince," Joren retorted. Laurent ruffled his hair fondly and vanished into the ballroom. Joren stood alone in one of the myriad hallways outside, wandering back and forth along the corridor.
"There you are." *Gods, her again. Maybe I'll give her a piece of my mind…* He turned around, smirk in place, to face Keladry of Mindelan. But before he could open his mouth, she marched up toward him, pulled him down by the shoulders and kicked him very firmly in the groin.
"Oh my stars," he gasped weakly, dropping to the floor.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for," Kel told him, and stomped away.
After a few minutes of gasping on the marble tile, Joren shakily stood up. He turned at the sound of whispers, but couldn't quite place them.
"Is that her?" Were they talking about him?
"I think so. Let's go!" Before Joren could react, strong hands wrenched his arms behind him and a sweet-smelling cloth was shoved over his mouth and nose. He struggled in vain--couldn't concentrate--got dizzier and dizzier until the hallway disappeared and was replaced with blackness.
***
"Joren? Come on, please come out. You must be really hungry…" Sir Paxton knew Joren had to come out one of these days. He couldn't just stay trapped in his room for the rest of his life, could he?
to be continued…
/* Sorry sorry sorry it's late…I made it super long though! (kinda)
Thanks and free toasters to those who reviewed. So please everyone review again or for the first time and you'll have my undying love! At least until next chapter : )
*/
