I woke up the next morning to find Zell hammering at my door. I opened it and he nearly fell in. He blushed when he saw I was only dressed in a satin nightdress I'd borrowed. He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Matron said to give you this. It's your timetable. Doctor Kadowaki wants to check you over at eleven, that's the end of your first class. At four, come back to your dormitory and finish your homework. Then at five-thirty meet Irvine in the Quad. You got that?" He asked. I blinked and took the timetable off him.
I hurried to my school supplies, courtesy of Selphie and Rinoa, and took out a pen. Jotting down all the people and the times. I straightened up and smiled.
"First class begins at nine, ends at eleven. Got to see Dr. K. I'll be late for my second class. Lunch begins at one. Third lesson begins at two ends at three. Last lesson starts at three, ends at four. I have an hour and a half to do my homework, then I meet Irvine. Why?" I asked, suddenly puzzled. Why would I have to meet Irvine?
"Weapon?" He replied, as though I was stupid. I blushed and folded my arms.
"I have to get ready then," I said, glancing at the clock, which read seven thirty. Zell nodded and left, shutting the door loudly behind him. I stuck my tongue out at it.
Putting on my Garden Uniform, everything seemed so suddenly real. This wasn't a game. This was my life. I was going to live here, forever... I felt a tear escape. I brushed it away angrilly. There was no point crying.
"Mom, dad, I miss you..." I whispered. I picked up the hairbrush and attacked my hair with it. I put it down and looked at my hair as it went static.
"Better go get some of my hairspray," I said, then remembered, I didn't have any. I remembered the way mom had always sprayed my hair quickly in the mornings. I had always been late. I was constantly getting in trouble for that. Not any more.
"Why me?" I hissed. "WHY ME?!" I punched the wall, and felt the pain as my hand made contact. I punched it again. And again. And again. My knuckles were bleeding but I couldn't stop.
The pain... I wanted to bleed on the outside like I was in the inside. It was as though my parents, my friends, my world, was dead, gone, destroyed. I couldn't believe this had happened to me!
There was an uncertain knock at the door. I flung the door open to see Squall stood there. I frowned and let him in, turning to my school bag. I packed all my pens, pencils et cetera. He watched me the whole time.
"What?" I demanded. He blinked and took a few steps forwards. He reached out and took my hand. I didn't realise what he was doing at first, but then I realised.
"That's going to hurt," He said. I nodded, it hurt already.
"Good," I replied. He raised his eyebrows and took his hands away.
"If pain is what you want, then I can't help you. I just want you to be at my dormitory at six, okay? Don't say anything to anyone, got that?" He then left. Why should I do anything for that bastard? But I knew why I would. Curiosity got the better of me.
I left my dormitory and headed to the cafeteria. I saw Squall's gang of Sorceress Slayers all sat there. I walked over and sat down between Irvine and Quistis.
"Good morning," Quistis said cheerily.
"Is it?" I replied. She chuckled and tapped my arm.
"That's the spirit. At least the Instructor's can cope with moodiness. Remember, you're a transfer from Trabia, that's all," She reminded me. I nodded. Squall kept on glancing across at me. I pointedly looked away each time.
I saw the way everyone seemed to be slightly depresseed. Selphie seemed down, Zell kept on going for a piece of toast, then thinking again and sitting back. Quistis was tapping her foot, Irvine was slouching in his chair, his hat pulled over his face. Rinoa was staring into her coffee.
"What lessons do you have?" Zell asked, breaking the silence. I looked at my timetable.
"Battle theory, Computer Skills, Problem Solving and Literacy Skills," I said promptly. All took place on the 2F Classroom, no doubt it was Edea's doing. Zell thought for a moment.
"You'll have Xu for Problem Solving and Literacy Skills. Probably someone like Nancy, one of the Garden Engineers for computer skills. I don't know who'll be taking you for battle theory though..." He tilted his head.
"I think Edea was wrong to post you in such a high class. Sure you can fight, but you'll be behind the rest in all the other skills," He rocked back on his chair. I looked at the clock. It wasn't long until lessons started. It would be a good impression to arrive early.
"I'll catch ya at lunch," I said, standing. I went the long way around and walked passed Zell's chair. He was still rocking on the two back legs. Without thinking much, I kicked one of the legs. Zell grabbed hold of me and I fell as well. Zell and I hit the ground, and I found myself laughing.
"You should have seen your face!" I laughed. He began to laugh as well. They were all laughing, even Squall managed a chuckle. The bell went and I stood up quickly.
"I'm going to be late!" I hissed, waving goodbye and running upstairs. I got to the 2F Classroom in time to see the rest of my class go in. I walked in and saw how the rest of the class were sitting in their set places. There were a few people at the front, their books in a neat pile in front of them, their uniform in mint condition.
Towards the back were my kind of people. Girls who looked cool, guys who were so handsome they were sought after by every girl. I began to walk to the back to find my way blocked. The guy was huge, and I could tell he was one of the popular ones.
I tried to get passed him, but he moved to stop me. I sighed and took a few steps back.
"Let me passed," I demanded. He grinned and made what he must have thought was a sexy smirk.
"Or what?" He asked, taking a few steps towards me. He put his hands around my waist. "How can you persuade me?" He asked. I looked away, unimpressed. He wasn't highly original, nor was he that smooth a flirter.
"By doing this," I whispered, bringing my head crashing into his. He took a few steps back, dazed. I waited, he stared at me in amazement, then he looked at the door.
"S-Sir!" He yelped. I turned and saw Squall standing in the doorway. I sighed and looked for the nearest free space. It was next to a girl with pigtails. She was sitting, her back ram rod straight.
"Miss Dove? I see you're met our resident jock, Mr Cambell. What do you think of his style?" He asked me, amused. I put my books down.
"Well, sir I think he's an arrogant bully. He thinks he's it but he isn't. He's just trying to prove to himself that he really doesn't fancy the nearby guy. He thinks girls can't fight and shouldn't, so he wasn't expecting my attack," I replied. Squall's eyes twinkled as he sat down.
"And how do you know all that Miss Dove?" He asked. I smiled sweetly.
"Two year course in psychology, one year course in sociology, seven years of Tae Kwon Do," I said. Squall nodded. The rest of the class were looking at me strangely. I felt out of place yet again. The girl next to me looked to Cambell, then back at me and winked.
"You have noticed within minutes of meeting this man, what these candidates have not noticed after studying with him for twelve years. Well done Miss Dove," Squall said. I nodded and slouched in my chair. When Squall turned to program the lesson into the digital blackboard Rauda turned to me.
"I knew he was gay too. He dated one of my friends. Tried to keep it all quiet, you know. I guess there's a lot a stranger can tell about people," She said. I nodded, not really wanting to talk to her.
"My name's Rauda!" She held out her hand. I looked at it and took it hesitantly.
"Karena," I replied. She smiled at me and turned back to the digiboard. Squall was waiting for the class to settle down again. Cambell was sulking, everyone had moved away from him. I shook my head, he was still the same guy, even if he was gay. Homophobic idiots...
Squall outlined battle formations used by the Galbadian Military during urban missions. He used Dollet as an example. It was almost the exact same speech that Xu had used when briefing Squall, Seifer and Zell on their Dollet Mission.
"The Galbadians will chase retreating armies. After they've finished mopping up troops in the outside regions, they'll head back in to retrieve thier target. However, in the case of Balamb or Fisherman's Horizon, they simply tried to burn their target out. This may have been only because of the tactics of one man, Almasy, we have been unsure since the Galbadian Military has broken contact with us," Squall continued.
When the bell went, I found myself wandering towards the infirmary. I was almost there, when I felt a hand grab me.
"You'll get that back, bitch," Cambell said. I sighed and pulled my arm away.
"I look forward to it," I replied. He frowned.
"Why aren't you scared? I'm bigger that you by far. I'm stronger than you," He persisted. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm faster than you. I'm able to hit you before you can block it. I'm more flexible. I can run faster and for longer. I have friends that could kick your ass out of Garden," I replied. He blinked but I didn't have time to wait for his brain to analyse what I'd said. I jogged into the infirmary.
"Doctor Kadowaki?" I called. The doctor came out of the room with the bed in it and frowned.
"I'm Karena Dove? Here for the medical examination?" I reminded her. She nodded and smiled at me warmly.
"This way dear," She said, gesturing to the door behind her. I went through it and saw a lot of strange equipment.
"Just lie on the table love. I'll just need to give you a few jabs, a few tablets and take you're blood pressure. It'll be painless," She promised. I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt drowsy, listening to Dr. Kadowaki's humming and before I knew it I had fallen asleep...
* * *
"And?" Edea asked.
"And?" Doctor Kadowaki replied, not understanding the question.
"How is she Doctor?" Edea asked, exasperated.
"She's in perfect health. Apart from the shock of being sucked into another world," Doctor Kadowaki sat on her chair, he plump fingers playing with a strand of loose string on her skirt.
"Good," Edea said, turning to leave.
"There is one more thing Edea," Doctor Kadowaki spoke up before Edea would walk out.
"Yes Doctor?" Edea asked.
"Don't expect her to detach herself from everyone. The person who was sent originally had been trained to deal with this. She hasn't. She will create friends, and a new family for herself. She'll want to fit in. She'll want someone she can talk to. A boyfriend, a few good friends. Don't deny her those. Please Edea," Doctor Kadowaki begged. Edea bit her lip.
"I will not stop her, I will not encourage her," was Edea's reply.
* * *
I sat up and blinked, the light hurt my eyes. Doctor Kadowaki was standing over me, her kind face smiling.
"Well dear, you've been asleep quite some time. I think one of the jabs disagreed with you. Well, never mind. It's lunch, so I'd just go straight to the cafeteria and meet your friends," Doctor Kadowaki moved out of the way and gently helped me to my feet.
"I don't mean to intrude into your personal life, Miss Dove, but I think you should concentrate on building up friendships and relationships here. It could be a while before you return to-" A SeeD cadet walked in, his face stern. Doctor Kadowaki smiled at him. Then she faced me again.
"-Trabia," She finished. "Have a nice day now Miss Dove, have a good time at Squall's tonight as well," She winked and faced the cadet. I frowned and walked towards the cafeteria. My mind was so deep in thought I walked into Zell before I'd seen him.
"Whoa!" He said, catching me before I fell. I smiled at the cliche of it all and using my muscles that had been so well trained in Tae Kwon Do, I brought myself up from his arms easily.
"Thanks," I said, smiling. He nodded and smiled back. I felt a strange peace from that smile. A feeling I couldn't quite place. So in true Karena style, I ignored it.
"You know, this is the wrong place not to watch where you're going. What if I had been Cambell? He'd have knocked twelve kinds of shi-" He stopped and coughed. "He'd have beaten you into the ground," He continued lamely. I laughed.
"You don't have to censor yourself. I have heard it all before. I'm not some porcelain doll, you know," I cracked my knuckles. He grinned, a grin that lit up his entire face and made him look like a boy.
"One should never swear in the presence of a lady," Zell replied. I snorted.
"Since when have I been a lady? I beat twelve kinds of shit out of you when we first fought, so don't 'lady' me!" I fake punched his arm. He took it easily.
"My pride still smarts. Sorceress slayer, beaten by a girl with no training that's about a size four," He put on a face of pain. I laughed, but I looked down at myself. Size four? In English sizes that was a size six. I-I'd never been that small... Had I?
"What's the matter? Did I go too far?" He asked. I shook my head. I knew he hadn't got a clue. When I'd been younger, I'd been stupid. I'd been ignored and bullied. I had hated myself, so I'd dieted and dieted. It had got out of hand... I had managed to get up to a size ten...
"No, you didn't do anything... I just realised that I might need to reassess my wardrobe when I get back home," I swallowed and continued walking. When I got to the cafeteria I promised myself to get the most fatty thing on the menu and a huge chocolate cake. Followed by a huge bottle of coke.
"Okay, I get the hints. You're size is a sore subject. Need to let anything out of your system. If you don't tell me I'll squeeze it out of you," Zell warned. I shook my head.
"It's nothing Zell, honestly. I couldn't even begin and I don't think it ends. Just don't go down that part of me, please," I didn't look at him, but I could tell his jesting mood was gone.
"You ever need to get something off your chest, I'll listen. There's always Kadowaki as well. Look, before we go in that cafeteria, I want to ask you something," Zell stopped walking. I turned, trying not to imagine what they's say if they ever found out. I don't suppose anyone with an eating disorder appeared in places like this.
"If someone asked you about your ideal home, what would it be?" He asked. I was puzzled by this complete change in direction.
"Wh-Why?" I asked. Zell tilted his head.
"Don't know, it's just been bugging me. All this talk of your home, was it really all that great? No offense meant. Could you ever be happy in this world?" He seemed so sincere. I opened my mouth and closed it again. The answers forming in my head weren't the answers I'd expected.
"My home, is a small house on a quiet street in the most beautiful part of the country. It rains alot, and I hate the cold. Every year there's a procession at night, with floats that are lit up by candle light. And there's an old castle, half run down. They have fireworks up there, the sky is filled with coloured light. There's peace and quiet everywhere. A close knit community, everyone knows everyone. It's-It's real nice," I stopped reminicing before the tears came. Zell put his arm around my shoulders.
I had to answer his questions. I had to find the answers to reveal how much I wanted to go back. I needed to discover for myself, why I felt a certain attachment to Garden.
"I could be happy in this world. I like it here at Garden. But there is one thing that made my home what it was. That was my family. My friends. I could probably find a small town somewhere that had a lot of beautiful scenery. What good would it be without my mom and dad? Even that brat of a brother?" I stopped and let the question answer itself.
"If there is a chance to go back, then I will. If not, I think living here will take my mind off the loneliness I feel inside. My ideal home... It wouldn't be anywhere. There's no where that I've ever belonged," I pulled myself together. Why had I opened up like that? That wasn't me at all!
"Damn, I can't imagine what you're going through..." Zell breathed, then took me into a tight hug, gently stroking my hair. I sniffed.
"Thanks Zell. Thanks for listening to the confessions of a lost and confused girl," I whispered. He made no indication he'd heard me but lead me into the cafeteria by the shoulders. He sat me down with the gang and winked.
"I'll get the grub. What do you want?" He asked. I opened my mouth, then shut it again. I tried to say I wanted a hotdog, but instead I sighed.
"I dunno, anything. As long as it's coated in grease... Or whatever..." I trailed away. Zell put his hand on my shoulder.
"I think I can guess what's eating you... Shit, sorry," He apologised. I smiled weakly and rubbed my arms.
"S'ok. Just, don't spread it," I replied. The rest were watching. I turned to them and smiled.
"Spread what?" Irvine asked. I pretended not to hear him, so did Zell. Quistis gave me notes from the lessons I'd missed, along with the homework, and I got into a conversation with her about basic training.
Zell returned, handing my some pizza. I looked at it and Zell gave me the thumbs up. I shrugged, he's made an effort, there was salad on the plate as well. I ate it, still in conversation with Quistis.
"So when is Mr Prankster gonna get himself a girlfriend?" Irvine asked. Quistis paused and smiled, I could tell she was thinking the same thing. I was curious as well. I knew that there was the girl in the library.
"That's none of your business Irvine," Zell said, his voice strangely flat. Irvine smirked.
"That bad huh?" He asked. Zell shot him a dirty look. I decided to step in before they got into a fight.
"Don't listen to him Zell. He's just jealous that he can no longer sample the talent around here and you can," Irvine tried to stare me out and failed. Zell stared into his drink.
"Yeah, I guess..." He said. I sighed and rolled my eyes to the heavens.
"I guess I'm going to be the behavioural analyst for this group so, here goes nothing..." I paused, thinking how best to phrase it.
"Girls are picky. At the age most girls are in Garden, they're not all that bothered with personality, more looks. You're not bad looking Zell, but you'll agree, that tattoo is a put off. Guys with tattoos on their faces immediately tell girls that this guy doesn't think before he acts. Bad for relationships. Plus you're known for impulsive behaviour. Sure some girls like that, but I'll bet half the girls around here know that thinking is better acting. Geez, this is almost like a lecture but it's not," I bit my lip and swallowed. Zell looked slightly dazed.
"Was that a compliment or an insult?" He asked. I shrugged.
"How'd you do that?" Rinoa asked. I smiled at her but Squall interupted me.
"You studied all this at school didn't you?" He asked. I nodded and slouched in my chair.
"I'd love you analyse you some time. You never know, might unearth some dark secret," I grinned evilly as Squall squirmed.
"Well, it's obvious you have one..." I laughed. Standing up I tucked my chair in.
"I'm off to class, have fun doing whatever it is you do!" I said. They all nodded. Zell seemed to have perked up again. I was more worried about Selphie. She had been silent throughout. Her mouth was set in a thin line. I didn't say anything, but I assumed it had to be something major to piss Selphie Sunshine off.
"Kaz?" Zell said. I turned to him.
"Thanks... For the insight into a girls mind... And for the description of your home," He smiled. I nodded and jogged out of the cafeteria.
The problem was, I had let Zell in.
