Yay! My Backup disk is working. I now present to you...Chapter three! I'm a genius!





Chapter Three: How Ginny got her Groove on



"So tell me again what happened." Sirius called over his shoulder to Harry while he straightened out the papers he was grading. Since the fall of Voldemort, He had been made the new DADA teacher, much to the chagrin of a certain greasy haired potion master. Ron burst out, "Dumbleore's gone absolutely mad! He's-"

"-Just started shouting in the middle of breakfast and then-"Hermione began

"-Took off running!" Harry exclaimed

"Honsetly, the old bastard's lost it!" Ron said.

"Ron!" a shocked Hermione exclaimed.

"Well he has," he protested. Sirius stood back and watched them debate the isssue. It was like watching a particularly complex tennis match. "Dumbledore's parent's were firmly married when he was conceived, Ron." Sirius said absently. "That's more than a bit besides the point right now, Ron." Hermione noted disdainfully. "Anyway, the next day he announces to us that there's to be-"

"A play! A bloody play!" Ron exclaimed, waving his arms wildly. Sirius took a cautious step back. No telling what the boy might do next. Hermione, incensed, cried indignantly "Ronald Weasley! Who is telling this story, you or I?" Sirius chuckled. "Actually neither of you is. I asked Harry to tell me. Honestly, I'm gone for only one week and I come back to find this place in an uproar. I should go away more." Shaking his haid, he gave his godson's hair an affectionate ruffle. "And then what happened?" "Well, Dumbledore said the play was to be a musical." Harry stated. "A musical Eh. Hmm. Interesting." Three pairs of eyes looked at him askance. "Don't you mean horrible and degrading professor?" Hermione asked. "What? Oh, yes, of course. Horrible thing. Must put a stop to it, damn it!" With that, Sirius quit the room, muttering to himself and trying desperately to keep the huge grin off his face. Ron wondered out loud, "Why did that not seem particularly convincing?"

"Because it wasn't, you git."

"Oh."



*****



The next two weeks flew by with surprising alacrity much to the dismay of just about everyone with the notable exception of one Sirius Black. The Trio of Doom, as they now called themselves, were desperately trying to come up with ways of getting out of auditioning for the play. Actually, Ron and Harry were. Hermione was secretly working with Ginny on the perfect audition piece, one that was sure to land her the lead role. "Tell my again why we're doing this?" Ginny queried while going through possible audition songs for Hermione to sing. "Because I'm tired of being the conservative one, Gin. I want to do something wild for once."

"And this play is going to help how?"

"Honestly, haven't you read the script."

"No, not exactly."

"The lead male role is that of a flamingly Gay mad scientist alien who creates the perfect man, and the lead female spends half the play in her knickers."

"Just her knickers?"

"Yes"

"Hmm.Are there any parts for sultry redheads?"

"It depends. Which would you rather be: the sullen, gothic French maid or a tap-dancing airhead groupie?"

"The maid! Definitely the maid"

"Then I have just the part for you. Although I don't think Ron will like this at all."

"Will Harry like it?"

Hermione smiled evilly. "I'm sure he will, Gin. I'm sure he will."



*****



Auditions week came and the entire school gathered in the great hall to see what Hogwart's finest had to offer in the way of actors. There were some purely abysmal performances. (a group of third year Hufflepuffs not-so- well-rehearsed dance routine to some overrated muggle pop star with a whinny voice {are you reading this, Brittany}) to the truly inspired. (Two fourth year Slytherins performing Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First") As the auditions went in order by year and then by house, the Trio of Doom had to wait until almost everyone else had gone first.

"Ginny's up next, Ron."

"Is she?"

"Mione, what exactly is Ginny going to do? I've been asking her about it all week and she won't tell me."

"You'll see."

Seeing the smug smile on Hermione's face, Harry suddenly wasn't so sure he wanted to know.

"Virginia Weasley," Professor McGonagle called out.

"I'm ready!" Came the muffled reply from somewhere behind the magically suspended curtain in front of the makeshift stage. Silence fell followed quickly by the sound of female moaning. Followed quickly by slow, pulsing drum beat and seductive guitars. Ginny's disembodied voice filled the hall, "I/I would die for you, I would die for you. I've been dying just to fell you by my side.../I" Ginny appeared center stage, resplendent in black leather and thigh high boots. "I/.to know you're mine. /I" Harry and Ron's mouths simultaneously dropped open in shock and Hermione smiled broadly. Everything was going as planned. Ginny made her way across the stage crooning softly, "I/I will cry for you. I will cry for you. I will wash away your pain with all my tears and drown your fears./I" she rubbed up against a shocked Sirius and Ron made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, his face turning all sorts of reds.

"Mione?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Do we have you to thank for this?"

"Well, I did give her the song."

"Thank you."

Ginny turned and started heading in their direction and Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I will burn for you feel pain for you. I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart and tear it apart" Ginny looked right at Harry when she sang, moving her hips hypnotically. She dropped to her knees and started crawling towards him like a cat. Harry was entranced. "I/I will lie for you, Beg and steal for you I will crawl on hands and knees until you see that you're just like me./I" She was between his legs now and was slowly feeling her way up from his ankles. Ron's face had gone an interesting shade of purple. "I/Violate all the love that I'm missing/I" she was straddling him now, and tangling her fingers in his hair. "I/Throw away all the pain that I'm living./I" Ron had to be bodily restrained by Seamus and Dean before he could throttle Harry. Ginny suddenly tightened her grip on Harry's Hair and yanked his face up. "I/You will believe in me/I" She stood above him and brushed her bloodred lips against his. "I/ And I can never be ignored./I" With that, she released his and went on to torture someone else.

I/I would die for you, I would kill for you I would steal for you, I'd do time for you /I

Draco and Neville got the same treatment as Sirius and nearly fell over each other trying to run away when Ron escaped from his captors.

I/I will wait for you, I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you, Take the cross to you /I

An un-amused Professor Snape was the recipient of Ginny's next attentions. He stood stonily while Ginny all but took her top off in front of him.

"I/To be part of you, Cause I believe in you I believe in you. I would die for you /I"

The song ended and Ginny retreated behind the curtain to thunderous applause from the whole male population, excluding Snape. She emerged a moment later with a large blanket covering her small frame and a very angry Ron Weasley firmly clamped onto her arm muttering obscenities and threatening castration to any male who so happened to glance at Ginny. Ginny looked as if she found the whole thing entirely amusing. Amidst catcalls and whistles, Professor McGonagle called out, "Draco Malfoy"

"Yeah!"

"Are you ready, Mister Malfoy?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"You may proceed, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco stood in the middle of the stage, waiting for his music to come on. There was a crackling noise and then a loud voice boomed out, "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Draco immediately started dancing and tore off his tie, waving it wildly over his head. "You other brothers can't deny, " His shirt came next, and girls scrambled to the front of the stage eager to get a peek. "When a girl walks in." Draco's hands moved to the zipper of his pants and several girls swooned. "...With an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get-" the music was abruptly cut off and Draco looked around in confusion, his pants halfway down. An angry professor McGonagle stormed onto the stage. "This is outside enough, Mister Malfoy! Your behavior has been atrocious at best. I cannot believe you would even consider doing such a thing and in front of so many young, impressionable minds! I have half a mind to relieve you of your duties as head boy." Albus chuckled and motioned for silence. "I believe our young Mister Malfoy is suitably sorry for his actions, Minerva. I will see to it that he is dully reprimanded." Professor McGonagle scowled at Dumbledore, but flounced offstage, dragging a protesting Draco behind her by the ear. Hermione muttered to a now-decently-clad Ginny, "she's just miffed because Millicent Bulstrode was blocking her view, the fat cow." Ginny giggled. The girl's waited patiently through the auditions of the Seventh year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, all of which were mediocre, with the notable exception of Cho Chang's Tap routine to the tune of Billy Idol's 'White Wedding.' Neville followed, performing a remarkable rendition of Elvis's 'A little Less Conversation,' complete with pelvic thrusts. Ron was next. His lively version of Guns 'n Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle' earned him applause and a standing ovation. As he was dragged offstage by an impatient professor McGonagle he called out, "Thank you! I'll be here all week!" " Harry Potter" professor McGonagle called out. Harry was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly a loud yell was heard and Harry was levitated onto the stage. As soon as he landed, he was off running, but Dumbledore petrified him on the spot. Smiling, the old wizard pointed his wand at harry and said very clearly, "I/cantatio et saltatus./" Harry immediately burst out singing "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" and did a jig. After about five minutes and a particularly flat rendition of Sinatra's 'Strangers in the Night" Dumbledore released Harry from the charm and Harry took off like a shot out the doors. Ginny laughed with mirth. "That was about the most pathetic thing I've ever seen!" Snape muttered, "Ladies, and gentlemen, the almighty savior of the world, Harry Potter." At last, there was only one name left on the list. "Hermione Granger"

"Ready"

"You may proceed, Ms. Granger."

Whispered giggles and mutters. "Bet that bookworm couldn't sing if her life depended on it"

"she'll make a complete fool of herself."

".should just stick to the library."

".should be vastly amusing."

".Hell will freeze over before she shows any kind of talent."

There was an old-fashioned Muggle microphone And Hermione Walked slowly to it. Another collective gasp was heard. Hermione looked stunning in a simple royal blue satin gown that hugged her curves and exposed her creamy white shoulders. Black opera gloves covered her arms and there was a simple pearl necklace around her neck. Her hair was swept up in a sedate French twist with a Few loose strands framing her perfectly made-up face. She smiled winningly at the crowd and opened perfect red lips to sing. And in another plane of existence not very far from our own, The Angel once known as Lucifer Morningstar was suddenly very cold indeed.









Aren't I just Evil? Chapter four out soon and thank you to the wonderful person who posted the link to the lyrics. I thank you and love you forever. And for those of you who are not familiar with 'The Rock Horror Picture Show', here is a brief (kind of) history of Rocky:

Sometime in the seventies ( I think) some really cool british guy wrote a play about gay, cross-dressing mad scientists who creates the perfect man, and an ordinary couple who stumble into his castle. Fun and mayhem ensues and there are wonderful song numbers. (Let's do the time warp again!) It was made into a movie starring Susan Sarandon, Barry Boswick and Tim curry. It's rather pointless but it's awesome! If you are interested in seeing this movie, I suggest looking in your local theatres for a midnight showing. Midnight showing is basically an excuse to act like freaks. People go at midnight to watch this movie dressed up as characters in the movie. At the theatre I go to, they sell prop bags which have different things to throw at the screen during different points of the movie. For example, during the opening scene, The two main characters are at a wedding and everyone is throwing rice. So they give you a little bit of rice to throw as well. The key words here are AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION! There are also things you yell at the movie. For example, at The Angelika (which is my particular venue) just before the movie starts, we do the Rocky Chant. This is how it goes: "Start the Fucking Flick! Start the Fucking Flick! Forget the Flick! Start Fucking! Forget the flick! Start Fucking! I thought she was thirteen! I thought she was thirteen! I thought she was thirteen! I love pie! I love pie! I love pie!"

Don't ask.

I highly recommend the Midnight Showing to everyone in search of a great time. If you have never been to a Rocky Horror Midnight Showing then for the love of God, don't tell anyone at the Theatre that! (Unless, of course, you want to be humiliated utterly o_0)

Be kind, review.