When Buffy woke up a few hours later, Spike had drifted to sleep beside
her. She smiled, looking at him. In sleep, all the hard lines of his face
were gone. He looked like a human man, sleeping soundly. The sardonic tilt
of his head and sneaky twist of his lips was gone. She sighed.
She studied his face and felt the urge to feel the lines of his face under her fingers. She reached out tentatively and softly touched his cheek. It was cold, as she knew it would be. That didn't repel her though. She wanted to kiss that cheek...then his lips...then...
Oh my God what was she saying? She asked herself as she sat back in her seat as if electrocuted. She would not, could not *ever* kiss Spike. She turned away from him as if he could see what she was saying to herself, as if he could hear her thoughts.
Spike was attractive, Spike cared about her, this was true, but he was evil. He was evil! She said silently again. Just because he had probably saved her and they were going to be together for an indefinable amount of time meant nothing. Nothing, she assured herself. Things had to stay the sane as they had always been. There was no way she was falling for another dead guy.
Spike shifted in his seat and woke up. He looked over at Buffy, facing the window and stretched his arms above his head. "Nice sleep love?" He asked. Buffy blushed, thinking it must be so obvious what she had been thinking. She managed to nod.
Spike reached over and pulled her around to face him. "You alright pet?" She averted her eyes. She mentally groaned. Could she be any more obvious?? She put on a smile. "Just a little scared. I mean...I'm leaving Sunnydale. What if they can't handle the hell mouth without me?" Spike patted her shoulder.
"Don't worry, they did it while you were...gone...the last time." He tried not to think about how it had been with Buffy dead. "Yeah but you were there to help them. I just..." She sighed and turned to face the window again.
Spike gave her a sympathetic smile behind her back and sat back in his seat. "Don't worry alright? With Red and Tara, there they've got the upperhand. You know how powerful they are." Buffy sighed and didn't answer. She studied the dark landscape moving swiftly outside her window. She wondered where they were.
She checked her watch. It was 6:30 in the evening. They were due in Roseland in an hour. She suddenly became nervous. What was she going to do? This neighborhood was highly secluded. It seemed so tight-knit. Everyone there seemed so happy. Would they accept her? Would she still be an outsider? How was she going to explain Spike?
She began to worry even more. Without Giles there was no telling what was going to happen. His name was probably registered as the homeowner. What if they couldn't get in because neither of them was Giles?
Spike watched Buffy out of the corner of his eyes. He saw the panic that crept into her eyes. He wondered what was wrong. "Buffy?" he asked and he saw her jump. "Yes?" She asked, still not looking at him. "What's the matter?" Buffy tried to shrug.
"Nothing. Just thinking." Spike raised an eyebrow. "'Bout what?" Buffy sighed. What was the use of not telling him? "I'm scared Spike," she stated. This surprised Spike. "What? Why?" Buffy took in a breath and explained all her worries.
Spike listened carefully as Buffy told him all about her fears, not fitting in, not even being allowed into the neighborhood, everything. He took in a breath. "Buffy, please don't worry about all that. No matter what happens I'm going to be there, you're going to be there, we're smart. We'll figure something out."
Buffy thought about Spike's simple statement. He was right. He was completely right. Why was she worrying? Well because worrying was what a Slayer did, she answered herself. But now she didn't have to did she? She had to close her eyes as realization struck her.
She wasn't going to have to be the Slayer while she was away. She took in a deep breath as she apprehended what this meant. No more ugly bruises and cuts. No more lying to everyone. No more staying up all night. My God, she was probably going to get a full night's sleep. The first she would have had in a great while.
This was a vacation for her. She had to stop herself from the thoughts flying through her head. There were many good things about this arrangement, very true. Nevertheless, there were some bad ones too. Say she got soft while she was away? What if she came back and found out her skills were soft? She couldn't let that happen.
No matter how secure Roseland was, she would not get soft. It didn't matter if she never needed her skills. She would keep up her routine, even if she never needed to fight. She was the Slayer no matter how long it took Gugsrak to lose interest in her. She would not slack off because necessity was no longer a factor.
She looked at Spike and smiled. A real, happy, relieved smile. "Spike," she said, grinning, "I think this is going to be one helluva vacation."
She studied his face and felt the urge to feel the lines of his face under her fingers. She reached out tentatively and softly touched his cheek. It was cold, as she knew it would be. That didn't repel her though. She wanted to kiss that cheek...then his lips...then...
Oh my God what was she saying? She asked herself as she sat back in her seat as if electrocuted. She would not, could not *ever* kiss Spike. She turned away from him as if he could see what she was saying to herself, as if he could hear her thoughts.
Spike was attractive, Spike cared about her, this was true, but he was evil. He was evil! She said silently again. Just because he had probably saved her and they were going to be together for an indefinable amount of time meant nothing. Nothing, she assured herself. Things had to stay the sane as they had always been. There was no way she was falling for another dead guy.
Spike shifted in his seat and woke up. He looked over at Buffy, facing the window and stretched his arms above his head. "Nice sleep love?" He asked. Buffy blushed, thinking it must be so obvious what she had been thinking. She managed to nod.
Spike reached over and pulled her around to face him. "You alright pet?" She averted her eyes. She mentally groaned. Could she be any more obvious?? She put on a smile. "Just a little scared. I mean...I'm leaving Sunnydale. What if they can't handle the hell mouth without me?" Spike patted her shoulder.
"Don't worry, they did it while you were...gone...the last time." He tried not to think about how it had been with Buffy dead. "Yeah but you were there to help them. I just..." She sighed and turned to face the window again.
Spike gave her a sympathetic smile behind her back and sat back in his seat. "Don't worry alright? With Red and Tara, there they've got the upperhand. You know how powerful they are." Buffy sighed and didn't answer. She studied the dark landscape moving swiftly outside her window. She wondered where they were.
She checked her watch. It was 6:30 in the evening. They were due in Roseland in an hour. She suddenly became nervous. What was she going to do? This neighborhood was highly secluded. It seemed so tight-knit. Everyone there seemed so happy. Would they accept her? Would she still be an outsider? How was she going to explain Spike?
She began to worry even more. Without Giles there was no telling what was going to happen. His name was probably registered as the homeowner. What if they couldn't get in because neither of them was Giles?
Spike watched Buffy out of the corner of his eyes. He saw the panic that crept into her eyes. He wondered what was wrong. "Buffy?" he asked and he saw her jump. "Yes?" She asked, still not looking at him. "What's the matter?" Buffy tried to shrug.
"Nothing. Just thinking." Spike raised an eyebrow. "'Bout what?" Buffy sighed. What was the use of not telling him? "I'm scared Spike," she stated. This surprised Spike. "What? Why?" Buffy took in a breath and explained all her worries.
Spike listened carefully as Buffy told him all about her fears, not fitting in, not even being allowed into the neighborhood, everything. He took in a breath. "Buffy, please don't worry about all that. No matter what happens I'm going to be there, you're going to be there, we're smart. We'll figure something out."
Buffy thought about Spike's simple statement. He was right. He was completely right. Why was she worrying? Well because worrying was what a Slayer did, she answered herself. But now she didn't have to did she? She had to close her eyes as realization struck her.
She wasn't going to have to be the Slayer while she was away. She took in a deep breath as she apprehended what this meant. No more ugly bruises and cuts. No more lying to everyone. No more staying up all night. My God, she was probably going to get a full night's sleep. The first she would have had in a great while.
This was a vacation for her. She had to stop herself from the thoughts flying through her head. There were many good things about this arrangement, very true. Nevertheless, there were some bad ones too. Say she got soft while she was away? What if she came back and found out her skills were soft? She couldn't let that happen.
No matter how secure Roseland was, she would not get soft. It didn't matter if she never needed her skills. She would keep up her routine, even if she never needed to fight. She was the Slayer no matter how long it took Gugsrak to lose interest in her. She would not slack off because necessity was no longer a factor.
She looked at Spike and smiled. A real, happy, relieved smile. "Spike," she said, grinning, "I think this is going to be one helluva vacation."
