Tori Amos on the Twenty Third! Twenty-two more days till Tori! Wow! Yay! anyway, ignore that rant and enjoy the chapter.
Chapter Fourteen: Sweet Transvestite
"Sweet Jesus! What is that thing!" Snape looked absolutely horrified as he saw Tim Curry dressed in drag and really strange make-up. "um.." Hermione started timidly, "that's you." "no! God no! Tell me it's not true!"

Ron, Harry, Neville, and Draco were about to piss their pants laughing. Sirius was drooling over Tim curry's outfit and Remus was sitting back and enjoying the unfolding drama.

"How do you do, I See you've met my Faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down Because when you knocked He thought you were the candyman. Don't get strung out by the way I look. Don't judge a book by its cover...."

PRICE, THAT IS

"...I'm not much of a man by the light of day but by night I'm one hell of a lover."

TROW IT!

Dr. Frank N. Furter threw his all-covering cloak onto the throne, revealing a body clad on a black bodice, a thong and a garter with really cute shoes. Snape began to scream in a very, very girlish manner. The audience yelled madly as Frankie walked back towards Brad and Janet doing leg kicks.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transsexual, Transylvania. Let me show you around. Maybe play you a sound. You look like you're both pretty groovy.

FUCKING GOOFY!

Or if you want something SEXUAL! That's not too ITELLECTUAL we could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

WHO THE FUCK IS STEVE REEVES?

Brad, meanwhile, was clumsily attempting to circle Frank N. Furter, in a feeble attempt to intimidate the (wo)man, who simply turned around and ignored both Brad and Janet.

" I'm glad we caught you at home," Brad said, pushing His glasses up. "Could we use your phone?

SUCK YOUR BONE?

"... We're both in a bit of a hurry."

THEY BOTH WANNA FUCK TIM CURRY!

LEFT, BITCH!

Janet nodded enthusiastically, " Right."

LEFT!

Brad once again tried to capture Frankie's attention, "We'll just say where we are, Then go-"

FUCK IN THE CAR!

"..We don't want to be any worry."

Frankie finished greeting the guests/weirdoes and turned to brad. "Well you got with a flat, well, how 'bout that? Well, babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night it'll all seem all right. I'll get you a satanic mechanic."

S &M!

Frank turned his back abruptly on Brad and walked back to his throne amid a shower of streamers and confetti.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite...."

BOOM CHICK-A-CHICK-A-BOOM CHICK-A-CHICK-A-BOOM!

"From Transsexual, Transylvania. Why don't you stay for the night?"

"Night," Riff-Raff echoed most sinisterly

" Or maybe a bite?" Frank continued.

LICK!

Columbia licked her lips lasciviously and echoed, "Bite"

" I could show you my favourite obsession.." frank said.

SEX!

".... I've been making a man..."

YOU CALL THAT A MAN?

"......With blond hair and a tan....."

WITH A LONG DICK IN HIS HAND!

"...And he's good for relieving my...."

SEXUAL

...tension. I'm just a sweet transvestite.."

CHECK IT OUT!

The camera panned around to reveal all the weirdoes fawning adoringly over the half-naked Tim Curry.

"....From Transsexual, Transylvania. I'm just a sweet transvestite..." Frankie high kicked his way through the crowd to the elevator lift.

Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta echoed, " Sweet transvestite"

"From Transsexual.."

Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta finished, "Transylvania."

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CONDOM BREAKS?

"So," Frank said.

WHAT?

"Come up to the lab..." he said, stepping into the elevator lift he had first come out of.

I CAN'T CUM THAT FAR!

"And see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici-" Frank cut off abruptly, leaving a pregnant pause hanging in the air.

The audience shouted wildly, "SAY IT!"

"-pation." Frank bit out. The audience sighed collectively and Janet nearly fainted onscreen. "

But maybe the rain isn't really to blame..." Frank continued.

NO! SUE'S TO BLAME!

".... So I'll remove the cause..."

WHAT ABOUT THOSE NASTY SYMPTOMS?

FUCK THE SYMPTOMS, HE'S FUCKED EVERYTHING ELSE!

"...But not the symptoms!" He nearly shouted, and abruptly closed the door of the lift, ascending into the lab above. The weirdoes all burst into applause as Magenta handed Brad and Janet towels.

"Well, this just gets better and better for me, now doesn't it." Snape snarled, rising from his seat.

"where are you going!" Hermione exclaimed in alarm.

"I quit!"

"You cant! You're the lead."

"Give me a better reason, Miss Granger."

"We have a sex scene in about two minutes!"

"We?"

"You and I, sir."

Snape sat down without complaint.

HEY JANET, WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN BRAD FUCKS YOU?

"Thank you."

HEY BRAD, WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN JANET FUCKS YOU?

"Thank you very much."

As Brad and Janet dried themselves with the towels, the audience sang out, "JANET'S ON THE RAG, ANS SO IS BRAD!" Meanwhile, Magenta and Riff-Raff began to undress Brad and Janet

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN RIFF RAFF FUCKS YOU?

" Oh! Brad!" Janet exclaimed.

" It's all right Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right."

NICE ACES!

"Slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush." Columbia protested.

YAY RUSH!

Brad, looking more than a bit ridiculous in only his boxers and his thick glasses stuck his hand out for Columbia to shake. "Hi, my name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancée, Janet Weiss.."

HEY BRAD, SPELL URINATE!

"..you are..."

CLOSE ENOUGH

Columbia ignored his hands and merely held both her arms out for Riff Raff and Magenta to pile clothes onto. "You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege."

OR THEIR LEFT TIT!

"People like you maybe." Brad said, trying to insult her.

" Ha!" Columbia laughed. "I've seen it!" and with that, she threw their clothes on to the floor. . Brad scrambled to pick up an article of clothing to cover himself with.

HEY BRAD, PICK UP SOMETHING REALLY USEFULL, LIKE A SHOE!

Sure enough, Brad held a shoe in front of him as he walked towards the elevator lift.

Riff-Raff drunkenly poured wine into a glass and promptly took a swig from the bottle.

"Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting."

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLE COCK?

"Shift it."

DROP IT!

Riff- Raff dropped the bottle of wine, which shatters loudly on the floor.

RIFF RAFF CAN'T HOLD HIS LIQUER!

Janet gave a small screech as the elevator began to ascend. Once she recovered from the small shock, she asked timidly, "Is he - Frank I mean - is he your husband?"

"The master is not yet married," Riff-Raff replied, "nor do I expect he ever will be. We are simply his.."

SLAVES!

"....servants."

"Oh," Janet said, quietly.

FIRST FLOOR, CLOCKS, BLOCKS, BAGELS AND LOX, SNIPPERS, CLIPPERS, BEDROOM SLIPPERS, WATCH YOUR STEP. SECOND FLOOR, RUBBER, LEATHER LACE AND FEATHERS, WHIPS, DIPS AND NIPPLE CLIPS, WATCH YOUR ASS. THIRD FLOOR, TAMMY FAYE BAKKER.

The lift doors opened to reveal Frank's laboratory and the weirdoes from the party below standing on an observation deck. There was a tank, standing on a platform in the middle of the room, and around it were weights and a gymnastic horse wrapped in cellophane. Frank N. Furter was standing before them, wearing a surgeons outfit and cotillion pearls.

WE ARE THE WORLD!

SLUTS FIRST ... ASSHOLES SECOND... SERVANTS, GROUPIES, AND WEIRDOS THIRD, FOURTH, AND FIFTH. HURRY UP, WE'RE ON A BUDGET.

Janet exited the lift first, followed by Brad, Riff-Raff, Columbia and Magenta.

They had entered the belly of the beast.
Next chapter: the animation of Rocky Horror, Draco gets a rude awakening. The chapter after that, Harry gets a rude awakening and the girls must convince the boys to stay in the play by going to ...ahem..extreme measures. Good fun and girl on girl action to come. Thank you and enjoy the show.
Be kind. Review.