Title: The Nearness of You

Disclaimer: I do not own anything……..besides my hamster and rubber ducky collection.

Rated: PG-13 for slight language

AN: Takes place during Season Two. I wrote this fic quite a while ago so it is a bit outdated but should be easy to follow. The story is my first attempt at real angst so I hope y'all like it. I would greatly appreciate feedback! Enjoy!

*** The title is taken from a song by Norah Jones. Great song!

She clamored into her room. Forcefully grabbing a bag and hastily shoving random items into it. Clothes mostly, make-up, shoes, a picture of her and Francie at the beach, one of Will and Francie-the real Francie. She looked around the room, eyes scanning to see if she missed anything important. Her dark brown eyes rested on a picture frame, the picture frame. His picture frame.  It stood alone on the shelf, as if taunting her. Sydney's brow furrowed, and she took a deep breath. Zipping up her bag, and gathering all of her confidence she quickly strode over to the picture frame and vehemently grabbed it on her way out of her room. She made it to her front door, grabbed her keys off of the counter and walked out her front door. She didn't look back. She wouldn't let herself. She knew that if she did, she'd break, fall apart. Instead, she stormed off to her car.

 Her foot pressed firmly against the accelerator. She peered down at the speedometer. 76. Sydney glanced over at the picture frame, now sitting in the passenger seat of the car. She veered off the freeway. She needed to make a stop.

The air was unusually cold as she walked out onto the pier. She nervously gripped onto the picture frame. She didn't even notice that her knuckles were turning white from the pressure.

It was dark; a breeze came up and sent a shiver through her body. But she didn't let herself get distracted. She knew exactly why she had come here. She reached the end of the pier, now looking out over the dark waters of the ocean. The waves lapped against the shore, the water repetitively coming up precisely to where it had seconds before, yet disappearing again.

Sydney looked down at the frame, inside was a picture of her smiling, along with Francie and Will. She turned it over and angrily tore out the picture, shoving it into her purse. She looked back at the frame, on last time. It stood empty, as if it was waiting for something, something to complete it. Her chin began to quiver as thoughts of Vaughn came flooding back to her, consuming her entire being. She struggled with her breath, trying to contain the uneven gasps that escaped her lips.

 A single tear rolled down her cheek. She shook her head, trying to shake away all the painful thoughts, memories. She picked her head up and straightened.  She would not let herself feel sadness. She would not let him make her cry. Instead she would only let herself feel anger. A new wave of emotions swept over her, as she looked back at the ocean. Each wave bringing new water to the shore, coming up over the sand, then wiping it clean. She swallowed as she let her anger consume her. She felt the picture frame still in her hands, hard and cold. She didn't let herself look at it though. After a moment's hesitation, she took a deep breath and she stepped back, raised her arm and flung the picture frame as hard as she could, letting out a sound of anguish. She listened and heard it hit the water with a splash, breaking its perfect pattern. Sydney turned away, and ran down the pier, back to her car.

*Flashback*  6 Hours Ago

They were standing at the warehouse. It was pointless meeting there now-but Vaughn had insisted on it, SD-6 had been obliterated, and Sloane's empire was dwindling fast. Eight months ago, Sydney had discovered the truth about Francie, or what was actually her double. The CIA was drawing close to Sloane, and was able to capture Sark, after taping his phone records, which revealed the truth about Francie. Sydney was shocked, devastated, and enraged. She remembered telling Will. He broke down. He later moved to Minnesota after the funeral. They had never found Francie's body. Her life fell apart, but Sydney didn't know what to do. So she did nothing. She distanced herself from Vaughn, and became entirely devoted to taking down Sloane, going on extra missions, taking dangerous risks, gambling with her own life. Irina Derevko had seemed to have disappeared completely, although was no doubt planning something of her own. Now Sydney found herself in the warehouse, in the middle of yet another heated argument.

"Don't you understand?" Sydney pleaded, pacing around the hard, cement floor. Vaughn looked back at her, standing still.

"Understand what? That your ashamed of who you are. That you're afraid to let yourself actually be happy? Tell me Sydney, what do you want?" He asked her, tired of her antics.

"I want to be happy."

"Then what the hell is stopping you?"

"What's stopping me? What's stopping me? My entire life is stopping me." Sydney yelled at him, both of their tempers flaring up.

"This isn't about your life." He answered quickly.

"Don't tell me what this is about…" She began in a dangerous tone.

"This is about your ignorance and goddamn stubbornness." He said, looking her straight in the eye.

"How can you say that? You know what I have gone through, first Danny, and then Francie. You of all people should know what its like to loose someone you love." She retorted. She knew mentioning his father was a low blow, but she needed to hurt him, she needed him to feel the pain that was conquering her life.

"Do not bring up my father in this. My father has nothing to do with this." He said in a low voice. Sydney immediately felt regret for her words, but it was quickly replaced with fury as he spoke again. "You're shutting me out."

"No I'm not." She said stubbornly as she continued pacing.

"Yes you are Sydney; don't even try to deny it. You have to stop this."

"I have to do this, I have to finish." She said determinedly.

"Jesus Christ Sydney!" Vaughn cried exasperated. "What do you think this will give you? Do you really think killing Sloane will make your life perfect?  It won't bring Francie back, or Danny." He added with a slightly sardonic tone.

"Do not say his name like that." She threatened.

"Will it make you talk to your father again?" He went on.

"I don't see you talking to your mother." She said, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"You are not one to lecture on family relationships." He threw back at her. She looked at him and paused. She glanced around the warehouse, it was still the same. It even smelled the same. She folded her arms in defiance.

 "C'mon Sydney! Kendall had you reassigned for a reason."  She shook her head, refuting him. "Your sloppy, you let your emotions cloud your judgments and for once I agree with your father. You shouldn't be in the field, and right now I'm not even sure you should be working for the CIA." He said.

 Sydney rested her head back on her shoulders. This whole scene was just getting so old; she didn't need another lecture from Vaughn. She began to speak "Vaughn…"

 "Your obsessed and I know you won't stop at anything to stop Sloane. I'm sorry that I am the one that has to point this out to you. Who knows where you loyalties lie now?" He questioned, his harsh words halted her pacing as she turned to face him.

"What are you saying? That you don't trust me?"

"Like mother like daughter."

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. Before she had time to think she felt her hand draw back and smash squarely across his face, leaving a red imprint of her hand on his cheek.  She looked at him, eyes afire with rage and disbelief. She felt herself turn away as she broke into a run, sprinting out of the warehouse.

 He didn't come after her.

Ironically she had gotten the call while driving home after the fight. They got him. Sloane was dead. She had let out a sigh of relief but it was soon replaced by anger. She should have been celebrating with Vaughn, but now she felt more lost than ever. She had no purpose. What was she going to do with her life? She knew the answer, or at least what she used to have planned. She had imagined a life with Vaughn, herself a lit teacher at a high school. Maybe a few kids into the future.  Her thoughts turned back towards the warehouse as she let her anger consume her. Another dream shattered.

*Present*  

            The sound of a siren on a passing cop car brought Sydney out of her reverie. She was surprised to find a tear running down her cheek. She tightened her grip on the steering and turned towards the radio. She flipped on the switch, looking for anything to distract her. However, another tear managed to escape, falling from her cheek, and landing silently beneath her. She mentally scolded herself, but soon her tears clouded her vision as she drove, and she found herself hastily wiping her eyes, struggling to see the now blurry road in front of her. She looked towards the side of the road as her headlights lit up a sign. Phoenix: 400 miles. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she was going. She was going to start over, like the sand wiped clean from the waves. 

TBC….

Thanks for reading! Review please!