Authoress: Green Eyes Silver Dragon
Pairing(s): Maximillion Pegasus/Cecelia Pegasus
Warnings: I don't think there are any. Email me at green_eyes_silver@lycos.com if you feel there should be any warnings and I'll add them.
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Wine. It's an awful drink that I'm hopelessly addicted to. The addiction began when my wife, Cecelia, was hospitalized. After visiting hours, I would drink myself to sleep. At first, I could barely stand the disgusting liquid. But as the days grew into weeks, and the weeks slowly into a month, it became my sole comfort when I was separated from her side.
I always thought I'd be the one to go first and that would be after many years of living happily together. But Lady Fate has many plans, and few are kind. Fewer yet seem to mimic our own ideas ever so remotely.
Fate seemed kind to me at first, as though she smiled upon myself and Cecelia being together. Our parents were overjoyed because we were obviously so happy together. We both had enough money to live comfortably and still do whatever we wanted. Life was perfect.
But then Fate turned her back on us. We had just gotten married when the illness struck. Why couldn't I have gotten it instead of her?! She had done nothing wrong! There were many nights when I yelled that to anyone who was listening and cared. I wanted someone to hear me, to comfort me. I wanted Cecelia to do that. But she never came. Then the tears came in sheets like the rain. I cried myself to sleep on many occasions.
I miss her so much it takes all I have not to give in the to whispers in the wind saying I should give up, telling me I have nothing more to live for. How many times have I wanted to obey them and end it all? How many times have I wanted to give up on this sick plain of existence? Far too many times for any mortal to count. I have wanted so much to just end it now and join her.
In my drunken state, I can almost believe that she's only on a trip to her parents' house; that she'll be back shortly. But that only makes it worse when I do face the fact that she can't come back no matter how much I love her and want her to. She's gone forever.
Oh Cecelia darling, without you I'm broken. Life was so bright with you at my side and in my arms. Now, everything is dull and faded. Funny Bunny, the cartoon that amused me for so long, is now something just to pass the time. Life has become something just to get through.
Everyone that sees me thinks I'm somewhat happy, but they don't realize that it's only an act. I wish someone would see behind the mask and confront me so I can finally heal, but no one does.
Shadi saw behind the mask, even if he didn't say it, but he didn't do anything to help me take it off. I'm sure he sensed my pain, my loss, my grief. He knew what to say to comfort me in his own strange way. He will always be a dear friend, though we have only met on a few occasions.
I have been trying to stop drinking. 'What would Ce-chan say were she here' I ask myself. 'But she's not here. If she were here, you never would have started.' A voice in my head answers me sadly. My addiction runs deep, but not as deep as my love for her and slowly, but surely, I'm breaking it.
Even when she's not here, she continues to inspire me with her memory. I raise my wineglass. Here's to you, Cecelia Pegasus.
~Finish~
Pairing(s): Maximillion Pegasus/Cecelia Pegasus
Warnings: I don't think there are any. Email me at green_eyes_silver@lycos.com if you feel there should be any warnings and I'll add them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wine. It's an awful drink that I'm hopelessly addicted to. The addiction began when my wife, Cecelia, was hospitalized. After visiting hours, I would drink myself to sleep. At first, I could barely stand the disgusting liquid. But as the days grew into weeks, and the weeks slowly into a month, it became my sole comfort when I was separated from her side.
I always thought I'd be the one to go first and that would be after many years of living happily together. But Lady Fate has many plans, and few are kind. Fewer yet seem to mimic our own ideas ever so remotely.
Fate seemed kind to me at first, as though she smiled upon myself and Cecelia being together. Our parents were overjoyed because we were obviously so happy together. We both had enough money to live comfortably and still do whatever we wanted. Life was perfect.
But then Fate turned her back on us. We had just gotten married when the illness struck. Why couldn't I have gotten it instead of her?! She had done nothing wrong! There were many nights when I yelled that to anyone who was listening and cared. I wanted someone to hear me, to comfort me. I wanted Cecelia to do that. But she never came. Then the tears came in sheets like the rain. I cried myself to sleep on many occasions.
I miss her so much it takes all I have not to give in the to whispers in the wind saying I should give up, telling me I have nothing more to live for. How many times have I wanted to obey them and end it all? How many times have I wanted to give up on this sick plain of existence? Far too many times for any mortal to count. I have wanted so much to just end it now and join her.
In my drunken state, I can almost believe that she's only on a trip to her parents' house; that she'll be back shortly. But that only makes it worse when I do face the fact that she can't come back no matter how much I love her and want her to. She's gone forever.
Oh Cecelia darling, without you I'm broken. Life was so bright with you at my side and in my arms. Now, everything is dull and faded. Funny Bunny, the cartoon that amused me for so long, is now something just to pass the time. Life has become something just to get through.
Everyone that sees me thinks I'm somewhat happy, but they don't realize that it's only an act. I wish someone would see behind the mask and confront me so I can finally heal, but no one does.
Shadi saw behind the mask, even if he didn't say it, but he didn't do anything to help me take it off. I'm sure he sensed my pain, my loss, my grief. He knew what to say to comfort me in his own strange way. He will always be a dear friend, though we have only met on a few occasions.
I have been trying to stop drinking. 'What would Ce-chan say were she here' I ask myself. 'But she's not here. If she were here, you never would have started.' A voice in my head answers me sadly. My addiction runs deep, but not as deep as my love for her and slowly, but surely, I'm breaking it.
Even when she's not here, she continues to inspire me with her memory. I raise my wineglass. Here's to you, Cecelia Pegasus.
~Finish~
