Chapter 1, Post 2

10 Weeks Earlier

Written in Jag's P.o.V

Ever have one of those feelings something was going to happen and that you would have no control over? I've been having that feeling all week, but I don't know what it is supposed to be. Jaina would know, she and her family feel everything through the Force. Now is probably one of those times I wished I had her sixth sense, as I would call it.

I had been listening in on a conference my Uncle and Gavin were giving. Funny thing, I wasn't even paying attention because I staring at Jaina for the last hour. A small smile curled my lips, thinking about her. We were already in a very serious relationship for a couple months now. And yes, everyone knew we were serious. Gavin had his reservations about us, but my Uncle convinced it was harmless.

Jaina huffed, glancing at the chrono behind Wedge's head. Even if she wasn't acting a spoiled goddess I knew she really was tired of all the talk and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Sleep. That was a new concept. When was the last time I had a full night of sleep? I had always been on call.I.

I frowned as Jaina stood up, smiling at Gavin and Wedge, "No offense but I'm turning in. You mortals are boring me and a cranky goddess needs her sleep," She turned to me, "Escort me back to my quarters, mortal?"

I tried not to smile as I stood up, bowing to her. Jaina only rolled her eyes, not really impressed by my manner and walked out of the conference room.

~~

Once we were a safe distance away from the conference room, Jaina grabbed my belt and dragged me into a closet and shut the door using the Force. I laughed, staring into her mischievous eyes as she stared back at me. I thought she was going to kiss me but instead she traced the curve of my jaw. I caught her thumb and kissed it.

"Jaina, what are you doing? What are we doing?" I asked.

She laughed to herself, whispering, "I just wanted to remember you the way you are right now.I, uh, there's something I have to tell you, Jag. It's very important."

I smiled, making her look at me, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jaina. You can tell me anything."

"I know I can.It's just.things are more complicated now. The thing I have to tell you about, I, uh. I think I'm pregnant. I think I'm pregnant with your child."

What?! Pregnant? Am I ready? Is she ready? Are we ready? Of course, that goes back to question one. "Do you know for sure? Have you tested?"

Jaina shrugged, "No, it's a Jedi thing. Just the feeling that someone else is there with you when you know you're the only one in the room," she paused, looking at me again, "Are you mad?"

I smiled, lightly caressing her cheek, "Why would I be mad? Jaina, I love you. I have always loved you and now we're going to have a family together. There's a little part of me in you. How can I be mad about that?" Jaina smiled as I kissed her passionately and hugged her.

tbc

Chapter 1, Post 3

How exactly does one approach Han Solo about his only daughter becoming pregnant? Jaina and I were not married, but Han did know we had a serious relationship. He has acknowledged me as Jaina's boyfriend, well, love interest, but never boyfriend. Boyfriend meant commitment, commitment, which lead to the second level of relationships and then the final step, marriage and family. And Han wasn't ready for that. Leia, I was sure, wouldn't mind becoming a grandmother but Han, oh no.

As far as I knew, the rest of the family liked me or was forced to like me. Jaina's Uncle Luke was a friend of my Uncle, so they were pretty close and Mara.I didn't really know where Mara stood. I knew she didn't like Kyp Durron and if she were given the chance or the 'go' from Luke, she'd take her lightsaber and kill him. Jacen was with us now. He'd returned to us two years earlier. After he was situated back into his old quarters, I'd taken the time and talked to him. It was strange between us at first. He didn't really know me because all he did know was that I was dating his sister. Naturally, Jaina was all we talked about because there wasn't any other common ground.

My mind returning to the present, I frowned, staring at the door in front of me. Maybe this was a bad idea. Han never really liked me. He was forced to like me for Jaina's sake. Maybe I should have brought her along to keep things calm. What are those Jedi exercises Jaina does to calm herself? Meditation. I could to that but it would look weird if I suddenly decided to sit down in the hall and start meditating.

No, I need to do this now. I breathed slowly as my thumb reached up the com pad. Before contact was even made, the door swooshed open and I stood there, staring at Leia. She was expecting me? Did she know I was coming to tell Han something? Was it a Jedi thing to know someone was coming? Maybe she did it to ease my worry? Or maybe she felt my anxiety on her side and couldn't take it anymore. Jedi were empathetic.

"Jag, come in," Leia smiled, moving aside as I walked slowly into the apartment.

I had been inside Han and Leia's apartment once. I was there with Jaina. Jaina decided she couldn't hide from her parents anymore, especially Han and needed to tell them about us. Leia accepted me but Han, as I had said, never really did. That was three years ago. Leia walked to the counter, grabbing a glass of water, "Jag, why have you come?" she asked.

I shrugged, "Um, I need to talk to your husband. It's about Jaina."

"Han's not here right now. He's working on the Falcon. He left about 10 hours ago although to him it probably seems like he'd been there for one hour," Leia mused, "What did you want to talk to Han about? You said it was something about Jaina?"

"Yes, it is. You said he's working on the Falcon, which docking bay is he in?"

Leia shrugged, "I think 87. Seriously, what's going on with Jaina? Jag, whatever it is, you don't have to wait to tell Han. Besides, if it's really bad news, it would be a good idea to tell me first. I can relay the information to Han in a calmly manner. He won't lose his temper in front of me if it involves Jaina."

I huffed, "Can I havea drink too, then?"

Leia smirked, grabbing an extra glass and filled it with water and handed it to me. "This must be serious."

"It is, Leia. It's very serious. Jaina and I have been seeing each other for three years now. We're very serious ----."

Leia froze, a smile tickling her mouth as it made an 'O' shape, "You're going to propose to her, aren't you? And you came here to ask Han for his blessing? If that's it, I'll give you my half of the blessing."

"Thank you, but that's not it.Jaina's pregnant."

I watched as Leia's 'O' shape mouth turned into a frown, "Jaina's pregnant? That is big. I guess it was a good thing I was here. Because if Han were here, he'd have your head!"

"Do you really think he would?" I asked.

"Jag, he sleeps with his gun. Not with him, but he always has it beside him in case there's an intruder." I started to laugh, believing she was just scaring me but she didn't laugh. "Jag, you need to leave. I'll talk to Han when he gets back."

tbc

Chapter 1, Post 4

Present

Still laying in his bed, Jagged Fel stared blankly at the ceiling. After he 'saw' Jaina, he felt the need to be drunk to dull his pain. Luke offered to talk to him but he refused. As a Jedi Master and Jaina's Uncle, Luke was obligated to talk to Jag about her death and 'moving on'. But Jag didn't want to move on. Jaina wanted him to move on, well, her spirit wanted him to move on but he wasn't ready.

Jag wearily sat up, looking around the apartment. He shared it with Jaina. Part of him did want to move but there was still that small part of him that was having trouble letting go. She was his lifeline. He'd been so happy when he was with her. Now, she was gone and he was expected to move on.

He huffed, glancing down at Jaina's lightsabre sitting on the night stand. Luke gave it to him to hold for Jaina, but what was the point of that? He couldn't use it for anything. Jag wasn't a Jedi; he was a pilot. He frowned, looking carefully at it.

Maybe he could use it -not for play of course...It wouldn't be a pilot's death but everything would stop. He would cease to exist and he wouldn't feel anything. No one would know because everyone would think he was still grieving.

Jag touched it's hilt, his thumb hovering over the ignite switch. No one would know he was gone. It was the perfect death...

Jag, don't! Jaina cried, piercing his ears. Jag, you can't kill yourself to dull your pain.

Jag let go of the lightsabre, dropping it onto the bed. He glared at the ceiling, "You can't tell me how to grieve, Jaina!"

Jag, it isn't right.

He grunted, "Like I care what's right anymore. I've lost everything...I couldn't even protect you."

Jag, what happened to me was my fault. Not yours. Stop blaming yourself. Jaina retorted. Talk to my Uncle. You need to talk to him, anyone, just don't kill yourself. Please Jag, do it for me.

"You realize you weren't the only one I lost...but our child, too. I never even saw her face or had the chance to name her." He expected Jaina to say something but she was quiet. "I looked forward to being a father, Jaina. It was time for me to settle down and have a family of my own...have a family with you."

I know, she cried. But Jag, we're happy where we are now. And she's so beautiful. Ya know, she looks a little bit like you.

"That's comforting. The daughter I never knew and she looks like me."

Jag, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop whining. You still have a life to live. Please, move on. Do it for me, for our daughter.

Jag nodded, looking at the ceiling again, "How can I move on when you're not with me?"

You don't have to worry about that. I'll always be with you.

tbc