The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 1
By obi's girl
It was late; very late but I didn't care. I needed to be there. I stood there, watching the retrieval crew grab Jaina's body and put her into a black body bag. The bag remained opened for a minute before someone zipped it up. Four men took hold of the bag, hoisting her body onto their shoulders as a hover ambulance backed up. I winced again as the two men in front left their positions and jumped into the vehicle, grabbing the head of the bag and pulling it inside.
"Jag?" Wedge asked. I turned to him briefly and started to walk away, but he called me again. I turned to him reluctantly. "They're taking her to the nearest medical clinic to clean her wounds; you can go with her if you want to,"
"Why would I want to? It's not like they can do anything to bring her back," I cried, "I need to get out of here. I need to leave,"
He was about to say something else but I ran away, taking one of the medical speeders and took off.
~~
Light. Harsh light irritated Jaina Solo's eyes as she woke up. She had been in the afterlife for a day now but it seemed like she had been there forever. Jaina moaned as she raised her arm, shielding her eyes from the bright light. She jumped down from her bed, walking about the small room. She had always had a different type of view of the afterlife, but this place was different. Clean, almost and loads of bright white light.
"I'm gonna have a headache if this light doesn't stop shining in my eyes!" she cried and then was shocked when the light calmed down. She frowned, lowering her arm and looked around. She wasn't alone; other Jedi were there.
Anakin and Jacen were there but they were talking to someone; a tall Jedi Master, but it was no one she recognized. It couldn't have been Obi-Wan Kenobi but she felt whoever he was, he was very important. Jacen sighed, glancing at his sister and then at Anakin and the Jedi. The three of the stepped forward; Jacen greeting her first.
"Glad, you're finally awake Jaina," he said and the turned to the tall Jedi, "This is Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn; he's been appointed to you as your guide,"
"My guide? I don't understand,"
Anakin stepped forward, "We've been here for awhile but you're new. You're not familiar with the way things are here. He's here to help you adjust; he's been here longer than any of us,"
Jaina frowned, looking up at the tall Jedi. Qui-Gon smiled at her but she was still confused. Jaina sighed, walking around the room and then, instinctively, she rested her hand on her stomach. But she didn't feel anything; nothing was there. She turned to her brothers again, "Cherith! Where's my daughter? What happened to her?"
"It's a complicated story but she's safe," Qui-Gon said, "I can't explain what happened but the Council was able to save Cherith. She's in the crèche now, adjusting to life on the outside,"
"You mean, she's been born? When? How?"
He smiled, "Like I said, it's a complicated," Qui-Gon paused, " Jaina, I know you've had a lot of attachments while you were alive -- Jag, your family, the Jedi but you have to forget about that now. That is not your life anymore; this is your life now,"
"My life? How can I forget them? And Jag, I loved him -- I still do. We had a child together and you now you ask me to forget about him? I can't do that. I could never do that," she cried, "Where's Cherith? I want to see my daughter."
"You can't," Jacen added, "It's not the time to see her,"
Jaina scowled, raising an eyebrow, "I'm barred from seeing my own daughter? I don't care! I demand to see her; I want to hold her in my arms,"
"Jaina," Anakin started but she glared at him and he backed down.
"We understand how you feel, but it's for the best. It's the best action for right now. You need to adjust to the way things are, Jasa," Jacen said, "Come on, the Jedi Council wants to meet with you,"
They all turned but Jaina stood there, crossing her arms. Qui-Gon looked back at her and sighed. She was a stubborn one; very stubborn like her grandmother. He smiled, "Jaina, if you come with us, I'll try and negotiate with the Council about seeing your daughter,"
Jaina rolled her eyes, dropping her arms, "All right!"
tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 2
By obi's girl
Raking a hand through his black hair, Jagged Fel stormed into his quarters. He had to think -- what had he done and why did he do it? He just kissed his doctor in the middle of a therapy session. He said he'd move on but this was too soon. How could he fantasize about another woman so soon after his fiancé's death? It was too soon, extremely too soon.
Jag nervous paced about, trying to forget about the kiss. He needed to focus and think about the situation. Why did he kiss Celeste? Of course, she was beautiful, very beautiful but it still wasn't right, or was it? Jag wasn't sure. He stopped pacing and glanced at the chrono. It was still early. He could walk down to the pilot's lounge and buy himself a drink but he was too nervous. If bought a drink, he might buy two more - maybe up to 10.
Jag? Jaina cried.
Jag grunted, lowering his head but didn't face her. "Jaina, I need to be alone right now. Please go away," he breathed.
I need to talk to you; it's very important, she said, Jag, please look at me.
He grunted; seeing his wife was the last thing he needed. As much as he was also happy to see her, he needed to get rid of her before she realized what happened. Jag huffed, turning to her. Jaina smiled warmly, dressed in her flight suit.
It's good to see you, Jag. I need to talk to you; it's very important,
He shrugged, "What is it?"
Jag, I know I said I wouldn't be seeing you for a while but matters have changed. A lot has changed, in fact, she paused, There's no real way to say this, so I'll just say it. Jag, the military grabbed the wrong body.
"Wait, what are you saying? Jaina, I was there. I identified your body..."
But it wasn't me! she cried, looking away, I'm sorry about this Jag. But it's the truth...I didn't even know until I returned and Qui-Gon took me to the pyre.
He frowned, looking down, "Then who was she?"
Jaina shrugged, My guess is that was she one of the pilots that were shot down. Several were shot down before I was and there was one pilot in particular that resembled me; it was almost like looking in a mirror. Her name was Karia Ylena,
Jag looked at her again, "What's going to happen now? Is there going to be another funeral?"
Actually, there might not be. That's another reason why I came, my love. Jag, I'm coming home. Cherith and I are coming home, she cried but Jag's face was impassive, I can't tell you how since I'm still not very clear on that part -- but I know my body has to be in place for it to happen.
"But your body is missing. How can you...?"
She shrugged, Your Uncle. He, Gavin, Tycho and Sera Fey`lina are overseeing a search and secure operation to look for my missing body, Jaina smiled, reaching out to him but Jag backed away, It won't be too long my love. It's complicated but we'll be together soon, I promise. I promise, my love. We'll be together again,
Jag was silent as Jaina turned and then faced him again, I still feel you, ya know. I mean, up there, I could still sense you like you were right there with me.
Jag smirked, "I felt the same way after you died. Being in this place, our apartment, I could still feel you, like you never left,"
Now, I'm coming back, Jaina reasoned.
Tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 3
By obi's girl
"Were you thinking about her?" Sera asked as Kyp turned to her. Sera had always known Kyp loved Jaina; it was very obvious but if he said she was the one he was thinking about the whole time, she'd kill him. She'd waited forever for him. "Were you?"
Kyp shrugged, "I loved her Sera..." Sera growled, turning away from him and standing up, grabbing her things. "Sera, I'm sorry."
She nodded, "It was stupid. I believed when you kissed me, you were kissing me because you wanted to when in reality, you were thinking about her. You were dreaming of kissing her,"
"Sera, I was thinking about her when I kissed you but mostly I was thinking how I could have not kissed you years ago," he whispered, "To be honest, the first time I met you, I had a crush on you. You were just like me; the same flare and arrogance. I think that's why I asked you to join the Dozen,"
"I thought you asked me to join because I was a good pilot?" she asked.
Kyp shrugged, pulling her closer to him again, "We're so much alike, you and I. I have so much in common with you then I ever did with Jaina," he paused, huffing, "I'll always blame myself for her death but now I realize, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. Jag, I think realizes that now,"
"And you? What's different about you Kyp Durron?"
He smiled, "I'm not cocky anymore. I used to believe nothing could hurt me; I believed I was always protected in this bubble and nothing could touch me," Sera frowned, looking down and cried. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She nodded, "I can't lie to you anymore. You deserve to know...Jaina's body. The military screwed up and picked up the wrong body. They're out now searching for her real body. That was the intelligence I found; that's what the meeting with Wedge and Gavin was about,"
Kyp frowned, "They're looking for her now?"
"I swear Kyp, I would have told you earlier but I was ordered not to say anything. And now I have broken that promise; I was going to talk to Master Skywalker about the situation but I was asked to delay that until the body was found," she paused, "Now, you probably hate me for lying to you..."
Kyp raised his and made her look at him and nodded, "I don't hate you, Sera. You were doing your duty; I understand that,"
"But you still want to look for her yourself, don't you?" she questioned.
He huffed, "I do but I don't belong with her. I belong with you," Kyp leaned down and kissed her again.
Tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 4
"Dead Is Silent"
By obi's girl
Darkness. It wasn't dark outside but somehow my world had become a lot darker. Jaina was dead and my daughter was dead; our daughter was dead. I wanted so much for everything to be a lie, but I knew it wasn't. I was there; I saw her x-wing spiral towards the planet. I was there when the medics carried her body away.
Everything should have been a blur in my mind but every detail was so distinct, I could see everything. Maybe it was being around a lot of Jedi or maybe it was my military training but I remembered. I remembered everything.
I remembered meeting Jaina for the first time on Ithor and bypassing all those politicians. The conversation we had in Tafunda bay after the meeting; our reunion on Hapes and our first kiss. She'd saved my life when she was ordered to break away and return to base. Funny, I had been told the same thing.
So many memories I have us, Jaina. How exactly am I supposed to let you go?
"You live," a voice replied.
I grunted, turning slightly as the Jedi walked into the room. I knew it was he; who else would it be? Kyp shrugged, looking at the dawn as well. "When are you going to talk to the Solo's?"
"Does it really matter?" I asked, "No matter what, they'll have figured out something has happened. Luke, Leia and Mara are Jedi; they can sense these things. Why do I need to tell them something they already know about?"
"Because they need to hear it from you," Kyp answered, "I know I wasn't there but I felt her die too. It was a horrible feeling...I felt something wasn't quite right; I knew she was in pain, a lot of pain but I don't know -- her pain was gone and I guess that's when she died,"
I shrugged, looking at him, "You're lucky you weren't there. You realize I had to watch my fiancé die and I couldn't do anything to help her! I was helpless, Kyp. I couldn't save her."
"None of us could have saved her," he whispered, "but I know wherever she is, she's happy. She's with her brothers now,"
"Funny, did you rehearse that?" I asked as Kyp glared at me and I nodded, "Sorry. I just --- I just know Master Skywalker or someone ele will say that again to me,"
Kyp smiled partly, "There is life beyond this place, Jag. You'll see Jaina again..."
"As a ghost? I don't think I can handle that," I said, "You Jedi are used to seeing ghosts; it's the norm for you but the dead don't talk. The dead is silent, Kyp. That's what I've been taught my whole life; the dead never talks,"
He shrugged, "I talked to your Uncle before coming here. He offered to go in your place and talk to the Solo's,"
"I need to talk to them," I whispered, "This isn't Wedge's responsibility, it's mine,"
"He also said if I found you that he's sorry,"
"Sorry for what?" I asked.
"For forcing her up there. He needed to act and he's sorry, Jag. He blames himself for her death because he ordered her to go up,"
"He doesn't need sympathy from me," I murmured, "He wants to blame himself, let him. I need to prepare."
tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 5
By obi's girl
I was supposed to meet with the Solo family and tell them what happened, but I needed to practice first. A few hours delay didn't matter; Han, Leia, Master Skywalker and Mara would still be there. "I'm sorry -- I don't know what else to say," I started and then rolled my eyes, looking at the mirror.
Wedge offered to go in my place but I needed to do this myself. I loved them and felt close each of them, eve Han. I smiled to myself, looking again at the mirror.
"Okay, one more shot," I mused as my face became passive again. "We all loved Jaina. She was very special," I stopped, cringing. Those words -- it sounded so much like a eulogy. No, I need to start a different way.
I straightened again and faced the mirror, "Something has happened. We were in a dogfight. Before, I asked Jaina to stay on the ground until I got there, but her skills were needed up there. I got there a little late when she was cornered by five skips and was shot down," I paused, looking sympathetically at the mirror, "I'm sorry Leia but Jaina is dead. We've recovered her body and now await your instructions,"
That sounded about right but was I ready to say that to her face? I shrugged, looking away from the mirror and faced Kyp, "You think I'm ready?"
He smiled, "You sure you don't want Wedge to take your place?"
"I'm sure," I mumbled, "No, I need to see them and tell them what happened...So, what are you going to do?"
Kyp shrugged, "You mean will I stay with Twin Suns or return to the Jedi? To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I suppose since you were closer to Jaina, it's up to you whether you want to disband the squadron or lead it,"
"I can't lead them, Kyp," I cried, "I have the experience to but I can't finish what she started. Twin Suns was her squadron. Why don't you lead it?"
"...for the same reason you won't," he replied, "We were both close to Jaina. We can't replace her and neither of us agrees to take the lead. I guess the only thing to do is to disband the squadron; close the operation,"
I huffed, "There are so many things to do before next week -- go through the apartment and pack her things away and decide what exactly are we going to do with Twin Suns and then there's the week after that."
"It'll be hard Jag, but it's best to take things day by day,"
"Where do you Jedi get these sayings? You know all the right words to say for the right occasion." I laughed.
Kyp shrugged, "It takes years of wisdom and experience. Before the war started, believe it or not, I wasn't always this wise. I was stupid and full of ego,"
"You -- stupid and lots of ego," I joked, shrugging, "I never would have thought you could be that way,"
"I didn't know; everyone saw it except me," he paused, "Funny, it takes something like an invasion to really find out who you are,"
I huffed, looking at the mirror, "It's called growing up, Kyp. Don't feel bad about it; it happens to all of us," I paused, glancing at the chrono, "I need to go," I huffed again, turning away from the mirror and as I started to the door, Kyp called to me again, "Jag, the two of you - you were right together. Jaina, she was never for me. It was you, it was always you."
"Thank you, Kyp," I murmured.
tbc
Chapter 6, Post 1
By obi's girl
It was late; very late but I didn't care. I needed to be there. I stood there, watching the retrieval crew grab Jaina's body and put her into a black body bag. The bag remained opened for a minute before someone zipped it up. Four men took hold of the bag, hoisting her body onto their shoulders as a hover ambulance backed up. I winced again as the two men in front left their positions and jumped into the vehicle, grabbing the head of the bag and pulling it inside.
"Jag?" Wedge asked. I turned to him briefly and started to walk away, but he called me again. I turned to him reluctantly. "They're taking her to the nearest medical clinic to clean her wounds; you can go with her if you want to,"
"Why would I want to? It's not like they can do anything to bring her back," I cried, "I need to get out of here. I need to leave,"
He was about to say something else but I ran away, taking one of the medical speeders and took off.
~~
Light. Harsh light irritated Jaina Solo's eyes as she woke up. She had been in the afterlife for a day now but it seemed like she had been there forever. Jaina moaned as she raised her arm, shielding her eyes from the bright light. She jumped down from her bed, walking about the small room. She had always had a different type of view of the afterlife, but this place was different. Clean, almost and loads of bright white light.
"I'm gonna have a headache if this light doesn't stop shining in my eyes!" she cried and then was shocked when the light calmed down. She frowned, lowering her arm and looked around. She wasn't alone; other Jedi were there.
Anakin and Jacen were there but they were talking to someone; a tall Jedi Master, but it was no one she recognized. It couldn't have been Obi-Wan Kenobi but she felt whoever he was, he was very important. Jacen sighed, glancing at his sister and then at Anakin and the Jedi. The three of the stepped forward; Jacen greeting her first.
"Glad, you're finally awake Jaina," he said and the turned to the tall Jedi, "This is Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn; he's been appointed to you as your guide,"
"My guide? I don't understand,"
Anakin stepped forward, "We've been here for awhile but you're new. You're not familiar with the way things are here. He's here to help you adjust; he's been here longer than any of us,"
Jaina frowned, looking up at the tall Jedi. Qui-Gon smiled at her but she was still confused. Jaina sighed, walking around the room and then, instinctively, she rested her hand on her stomach. But she didn't feel anything; nothing was there. She turned to her brothers again, "Cherith! Where's my daughter? What happened to her?"
"It's a complicated story but she's safe," Qui-Gon said, "I can't explain what happened but the Council was able to save Cherith. She's in the crèche now, adjusting to life on the outside,"
"You mean, she's been born? When? How?"
He smiled, "Like I said, it's a complicated," Qui-Gon paused, " Jaina, I know you've had a lot of attachments while you were alive -- Jag, your family, the Jedi but you have to forget about that now. That is not your life anymore; this is your life now,"
"My life? How can I forget them? And Jag, I loved him -- I still do. We had a child together and you now you ask me to forget about him? I can't do that. I could never do that," she cried, "Where's Cherith? I want to see my daughter."
"You can't," Jacen added, "It's not the time to see her,"
Jaina scowled, raising an eyebrow, "I'm barred from seeing my own daughter? I don't care! I demand to see her; I want to hold her in my arms,"
"Jaina," Anakin started but she glared at him and he backed down.
"We understand how you feel, but it's for the best. It's the best action for right now. You need to adjust to the way things are, Jasa," Jacen said, "Come on, the Jedi Council wants to meet with you,"
They all turned but Jaina stood there, crossing her arms. Qui-Gon looked back at her and sighed. She was a stubborn one; very stubborn like her grandmother. He smiled, "Jaina, if you come with us, I'll try and negotiate with the Council about seeing your daughter,"
Jaina rolled her eyes, dropping her arms, "All right!"
tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 2
By obi's girl
Raking a hand through his black hair, Jagged Fel stormed into his quarters. He had to think -- what had he done and why did he do it? He just kissed his doctor in the middle of a therapy session. He said he'd move on but this was too soon. How could he fantasize about another woman so soon after his fiancé's death? It was too soon, extremely too soon.
Jag nervous paced about, trying to forget about the kiss. He needed to focus and think about the situation. Why did he kiss Celeste? Of course, she was beautiful, very beautiful but it still wasn't right, or was it? Jag wasn't sure. He stopped pacing and glanced at the chrono. It was still early. He could walk down to the pilot's lounge and buy himself a drink but he was too nervous. If bought a drink, he might buy two more - maybe up to 10.
Jag? Jaina cried.
Jag grunted, lowering his head but didn't face her. "Jaina, I need to be alone right now. Please go away," he breathed.
I need to talk to you; it's very important, she said, Jag, please look at me.
He grunted; seeing his wife was the last thing he needed. As much as he was also happy to see her, he needed to get rid of her before she realized what happened. Jag huffed, turning to her. Jaina smiled warmly, dressed in her flight suit.
It's good to see you, Jag. I need to talk to you; it's very important,
He shrugged, "What is it?"
Jag, I know I said I wouldn't be seeing you for a while but matters have changed. A lot has changed, in fact, she paused, There's no real way to say this, so I'll just say it. Jag, the military grabbed the wrong body.
"Wait, what are you saying? Jaina, I was there. I identified your body..."
But it wasn't me! she cried, looking away, I'm sorry about this Jag. But it's the truth...I didn't even know until I returned and Qui-Gon took me to the pyre.
He frowned, looking down, "Then who was she?"
Jaina shrugged, My guess is that was she one of the pilots that were shot down. Several were shot down before I was and there was one pilot in particular that resembled me; it was almost like looking in a mirror. Her name was Karia Ylena,
Jag looked at her again, "What's going to happen now? Is there going to be another funeral?"
Actually, there might not be. That's another reason why I came, my love. Jag, I'm coming home. Cherith and I are coming home, she cried but Jag's face was impassive, I can't tell you how since I'm still not very clear on that part -- but I know my body has to be in place for it to happen.
"But your body is missing. How can you...?"
She shrugged, Your Uncle. He, Gavin, Tycho and Sera Fey`lina are overseeing a search and secure operation to look for my missing body, Jaina smiled, reaching out to him but Jag backed away, It won't be too long my love. It's complicated but we'll be together soon, I promise. I promise, my love. We'll be together again,
Jag was silent as Jaina turned and then faced him again, I still feel you, ya know. I mean, up there, I could still sense you like you were right there with me.
Jag smirked, "I felt the same way after you died. Being in this place, our apartment, I could still feel you, like you never left,"
Now, I'm coming back, Jaina reasoned.
Tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 3
By obi's girl
"Were you thinking about her?" Sera asked as Kyp turned to her. Sera had always known Kyp loved Jaina; it was very obvious but if he said she was the one he was thinking about the whole time, she'd kill him. She'd waited forever for him. "Were you?"
Kyp shrugged, "I loved her Sera..." Sera growled, turning away from him and standing up, grabbing her things. "Sera, I'm sorry."
She nodded, "It was stupid. I believed when you kissed me, you were kissing me because you wanted to when in reality, you were thinking about her. You were dreaming of kissing her,"
"Sera, I was thinking about her when I kissed you but mostly I was thinking how I could have not kissed you years ago," he whispered, "To be honest, the first time I met you, I had a crush on you. You were just like me; the same flare and arrogance. I think that's why I asked you to join the Dozen,"
"I thought you asked me to join because I was a good pilot?" she asked.
Kyp shrugged, pulling her closer to him again, "We're so much alike, you and I. I have so much in common with you then I ever did with Jaina," he paused, huffing, "I'll always blame myself for her death but now I realize, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. Jag, I think realizes that now,"
"And you? What's different about you Kyp Durron?"
He smiled, "I'm not cocky anymore. I used to believe nothing could hurt me; I believed I was always protected in this bubble and nothing could touch me," Sera frowned, looking down and cried. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She nodded, "I can't lie to you anymore. You deserve to know...Jaina's body. The military screwed up and picked up the wrong body. They're out now searching for her real body. That was the intelligence I found; that's what the meeting with Wedge and Gavin was about,"
Kyp frowned, "They're looking for her now?"
"I swear Kyp, I would have told you earlier but I was ordered not to say anything. And now I have broken that promise; I was going to talk to Master Skywalker about the situation but I was asked to delay that until the body was found," she paused, "Now, you probably hate me for lying to you..."
Kyp raised his and made her look at him and nodded, "I don't hate you, Sera. You were doing your duty; I understand that,"
"But you still want to look for her yourself, don't you?" she questioned.
He huffed, "I do but I don't belong with her. I belong with you," Kyp leaned down and kissed her again.
Tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 4
"Dead Is Silent"
By obi's girl
Darkness. It wasn't dark outside but somehow my world had become a lot darker. Jaina was dead and my daughter was dead; our daughter was dead. I wanted so much for everything to be a lie, but I knew it wasn't. I was there; I saw her x-wing spiral towards the planet. I was there when the medics carried her body away.
Everything should have been a blur in my mind but every detail was so distinct, I could see everything. Maybe it was being around a lot of Jedi or maybe it was my military training but I remembered. I remembered everything.
I remembered meeting Jaina for the first time on Ithor and bypassing all those politicians. The conversation we had in Tafunda bay after the meeting; our reunion on Hapes and our first kiss. She'd saved my life when she was ordered to break away and return to base. Funny, I had been told the same thing.
So many memories I have us, Jaina. How exactly am I supposed to let you go?
"You live," a voice replied.
I grunted, turning slightly as the Jedi walked into the room. I knew it was he; who else would it be? Kyp shrugged, looking at the dawn as well. "When are you going to talk to the Solo's?"
"Does it really matter?" I asked, "No matter what, they'll have figured out something has happened. Luke, Leia and Mara are Jedi; they can sense these things. Why do I need to tell them something they already know about?"
"Because they need to hear it from you," Kyp answered, "I know I wasn't there but I felt her die too. It was a horrible feeling...I felt something wasn't quite right; I knew she was in pain, a lot of pain but I don't know -- her pain was gone and I guess that's when she died,"
I shrugged, looking at him, "You're lucky you weren't there. You realize I had to watch my fiancé die and I couldn't do anything to help her! I was helpless, Kyp. I couldn't save her."
"None of us could have saved her," he whispered, "but I know wherever she is, she's happy. She's with her brothers now,"
"Funny, did you rehearse that?" I asked as Kyp glared at me and I nodded, "Sorry. I just --- I just know Master Skywalker or someone ele will say that again to me,"
Kyp smiled partly, "There is life beyond this place, Jag. You'll see Jaina again..."
"As a ghost? I don't think I can handle that," I said, "You Jedi are used to seeing ghosts; it's the norm for you but the dead don't talk. The dead is silent, Kyp. That's what I've been taught my whole life; the dead never talks,"
He shrugged, "I talked to your Uncle before coming here. He offered to go in your place and talk to the Solo's,"
"I need to talk to them," I whispered, "This isn't Wedge's responsibility, it's mine,"
"He also said if I found you that he's sorry,"
"Sorry for what?" I asked.
"For forcing her up there. He needed to act and he's sorry, Jag. He blames himself for her death because he ordered her to go up,"
"He doesn't need sympathy from me," I murmured, "He wants to blame himself, let him. I need to prepare."
tbc
The Funeral
Chapter 6, Post 5
By obi's girl
I was supposed to meet with the Solo family and tell them what happened, but I needed to practice first. A few hours delay didn't matter; Han, Leia, Master Skywalker and Mara would still be there. "I'm sorry -- I don't know what else to say," I started and then rolled my eyes, looking at the mirror.
Wedge offered to go in my place but I needed to do this myself. I loved them and felt close each of them, eve Han. I smiled to myself, looking again at the mirror.
"Okay, one more shot," I mused as my face became passive again. "We all loved Jaina. She was very special," I stopped, cringing. Those words -- it sounded so much like a eulogy. No, I need to start a different way.
I straightened again and faced the mirror, "Something has happened. We were in a dogfight. Before, I asked Jaina to stay on the ground until I got there, but her skills were needed up there. I got there a little late when she was cornered by five skips and was shot down," I paused, looking sympathetically at the mirror, "I'm sorry Leia but Jaina is dead. We've recovered her body and now await your instructions,"
That sounded about right but was I ready to say that to her face? I shrugged, looking away from the mirror and faced Kyp, "You think I'm ready?"
He smiled, "You sure you don't want Wedge to take your place?"
"I'm sure," I mumbled, "No, I need to see them and tell them what happened...So, what are you going to do?"
Kyp shrugged, "You mean will I stay with Twin Suns or return to the Jedi? To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I suppose since you were closer to Jaina, it's up to you whether you want to disband the squadron or lead it,"
"I can't lead them, Kyp," I cried, "I have the experience to but I can't finish what she started. Twin Suns was her squadron. Why don't you lead it?"
"...for the same reason you won't," he replied, "We were both close to Jaina. We can't replace her and neither of us agrees to take the lead. I guess the only thing to do is to disband the squadron; close the operation,"
I huffed, "There are so many things to do before next week -- go through the apartment and pack her things away and decide what exactly are we going to do with Twin Suns and then there's the week after that."
"It'll be hard Jag, but it's best to take things day by day,"
"Where do you Jedi get these sayings? You know all the right words to say for the right occasion." I laughed.
Kyp shrugged, "It takes years of wisdom and experience. Before the war started, believe it or not, I wasn't always this wise. I was stupid and full of ego,"
"You -- stupid and lots of ego," I joked, shrugging, "I never would have thought you could be that way,"
"I didn't know; everyone saw it except me," he paused, "Funny, it takes something like an invasion to really find out who you are,"
I huffed, looking at the mirror, "It's called growing up, Kyp. Don't feel bad about it; it happens to all of us," I paused, glancing at the chrono, "I need to go," I huffed again, turning away from the mirror and as I started to the door, Kyp called to me again, "Jag, the two of you - you were right together. Jaina, she was never for me. It was you, it was always you."
"Thank you, Kyp," I murmured.
tbc
