Chapter II

            So how was it? I hope the first chapter passed the acidic tongues of those very tough critics out there. If not…oh well, what a pity.

            She was sitting all alone in the train booth. Her hands were on her lap. Cold, sweaty and clammy. They were gripping each other so hard that it actually threatened her circulation. She was worried. Very worried. Today would be the first time she would be back in two years. She was so nervous on how the others will react on seeing her back.

            It's been two years since she last saw either of them. Her last memory was staring at his back. He turned away from her just as she looked at him. His name died on her lips at the rigid set of his back and his uncompromising posture. It was the unfamiliar way that he set himself of that made her hesitate.

And that hesitation had cost her two years. Two years of lost time. But maybe it was for the best. She might feel his pain or maybe just his resignation. Or maybe just embarrassment, if he didn't feel what she thought he felt for her.

'Rui, why did you let me let go? Or maybe you didn't really want my love in the first place.' Unbidden, tears slowly fell from her eyes. She could still remember their last farewell…

They were at the train station, the same one she's coming back to in two hours' time. Rui was facing her. He looked at her eyes, just searching.

"Rui, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just because."

"Because…? What? Do I have something on my face?"

Grinning somewhat cheekily, she half expected him to keep quiet and continue with his poker face. He was silent. But after a long period, he just raised his hand and tenderly brushed it through her hair. "Tsukushi, If I…if I was-" he just broke off.

"If you're what?"

"…"

"Rui, come on. Tell me."

"Nevermind." He just smiled sadly. "Don't mind me."

Suddenly he pulled the hand that was stroking her hair then pulled her to him. He placed his hands on either side of her waist. Tenderly, he brushed his mouth on her ear. "Just let me have this moment. Please"

She tried to pull away. "Rui, we talked about this already and-"

"Shhh." He placed his finger on her lips. "I know…but just this one time."

She couldn't decide then though she knew that her heart already made a choice. They were too dear to her. She couldn't hurt either of them. And that would be what she would have done had she stayed. She would have to choose one and hurt the other. There were no gray areas, no 'just friends' sign, and in the end, it would have made all of them miserable. They both needed someone who could love them fully and not give just half a heart. Someone who would be there for them one hundred percent and not someone with confused and emotionally battered feeling. And that someone was not her. It never was and never could be her.

He slowly pulled away from her.

"Hurry up, you will miss the train" While his eyes were smarting with tears, that was the only thing he said. That was the only thing he could say.

He turned his back and walked away.

Tsukushi slowly opened her eyes and looked at the train compartment. It was luxurious and spacious but it didn't register in her mind. She was too caught up with the memories of the past. A past that she wanted to forget. A past that she will return to in less than two hours.

Outside, the scenery could only be described as wholesome as a lone train inconspicuously made its way to downtown Tokyo.