Chapter 38: Hermione Indigens – Hermione In Need

            The news spread fast.

            Hogwarts was in an uproar.

            Owls arrived in throngs from the Ministry and the international wizarding community. Reporters from wizard newspapers and magazines were camped outside the gates to the school and every inn and hotel in Hogsmeade was full. Unforunately, no one could get a statement from anyone in Hogwarts about the exact events surrounding the fall of Voldemort and the death of certain prominent members of the wizarding world.

Predictably, Cornelius had tendered his resignation, and Percy was Acting Minister for the moment. Percy was the only person outside Hogwarts with whom Dumbledore had communicated since his return- Dumbledore had let him know immediately that Ginny and Noel were safe.

            Dumbledore had more immediate problems on his hands now, not the least of which was the way Harry Potter was dealing with the whole matter.

            It hadn't been hard to apparate everyone back to Hogwarts, once Harry had slain the Dark Lord, and everyone's wounds were attended to swiftly by Madam Pomfrey. Sirius' leg was healing well, Luna and Podmore were recovering swiftly from their battle wounds, and even Noel's cuts were healing.

But some wounds were not so easily healed. Hermione Granger was in some sort of deep coma induced by shock and Draco Malfoy's cold body lay in the old Hall where Noel had been Named. Draco Malfoy was back at Hogwarts where he had grown from a boy into a man, where the petty struggles of his youth –verbal contests with the Gryffindors and rainy Quidditch matches- were mere shadows of the final battle he would have to wage for himself and his family.

And though his fingers had been re-grown by Madam Pomfrey, Harry Potter was showing signs of mental breakdown.

It was the day after their return and Dumbledore had just had a couple of long and troubled interview with Sirius Black and Professor Trelawney. On Dumbledore's urgent request, Ministry officials had been sent to Malfoy Manor on a secret mission, and Dumbledore received the outcome of the mission in an owl when Professor Trelawney was tearfully leaving his office. He fingered the letter gently, lost in thought… So it was not to be. Why did fate play such cruel tricks on us?

Only moments after Dumbledore had shown Professor Trelawney out of his office, Harry came charging in.

            "What did she say?"

            Dumbledore wondered whether to tell Harry the truth or not. He kept the letter parchment away. Was it fair to get his hopes up then shatter them? Harry was no longer a child. He was a man: so much like James - strong, passionate and brave. A true Gryffindor.

            Dumbledore lowered his hands from his forehead to the table. "You were right. Draco's spirit is still in the vale…."

            "I KNEW IT!" said Harry, a gleam in his eye. "It wasn't his time! Bring him back! You must professor!"

            Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "I can't."

            Harry's eyes widened in disbelief and shock.

            "Why not?"

            "I just can't Harry."

            "You lie!" shouted Harry, hitting Dumbledore's desk with his fists.

            "I am telling you the truth, Harry," said Dumbledore tiredly, "I cannot bring him back."

            "You brought back Sirius for me didn't you! But now you won't help Hermione!"

            "I am telling you Harry, I cannot bring Draco back, even if I wanted to."

            "But he's still there! He's still in the vale! Just like Sirius, Trelawney and her sisters said so! That's why you asked them wasn't it? You told me you would try!"

            "I only found out for you because you asked me to see if he was still there…Trelawney managed to contact her sister Atropos, and she said his life on earth was not quite cut off…yet. But that really is no surprise, Harry. Most spirits linger in the Vale for a day or two before they move on. Draco will move on soon."

            "It's wasn't his time!"

            "It was Harry. Draco was never meant to live through the ritual. Voldemort was meant to kill him."

            "It WASN'T his time!" repeated Harry insistently. "The prophesy is wrong! VOLDEMORT didn't kill him, I DID!"

            Dumbledore sighed.

            "You didn't kill him, Harry."

"I held Hermione back- she might have saved him! I killed Sirius and my parents and Cedric and Tonks and Dennis and Draco! They all died because of me!"

            Harry was blinded by his tears. His chest felt so tight he could hardly breathe.

            "Harry, you didn't…" said Remus Lupin softly.

            "SHUT UP!" Harry whirled on the Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher, who had been sitting in the corner all the time. Lupin looked like he had been slapped.

            "I know how you feel…" said Dumbledore.

"NO YOU DON'T! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ME!"

Albus Dumbledore and Remus Lupin had run out of words to comfort the boy. Instead of focusing on the fact he had killed Voldemort at last, all that consumed Harry Potter was the fact that Draco Malfoy had died to give him the chance to kill Voldemort. The look of suffering on Hermione's face he knew would torment him to the end of his days, as would Draco's dying scream.

            Harry Potter wished he were unconscious like Hermione Granger. At least then he wouldn't be reliving the scene over and over again in his mind. He remembered holding Hermione down as she struggled desperately against him, watching as Draco plunged the gladeus into himself…that terrible cry…her face…

            "NO!" He said suddenly and put his hand over his ears. "NO!" He shook his head hard and began to tremble.

            Lupin looked worriedly at Dumbledore, silently mouthing "What's wrong?"

            Dumbledore rose from his chair and rushed over to Harry.

            "NO…No more…leave me…"

            "Harry Potter…"

            "NO!" Harry violently shrugged of the old headmaster's hands and rushed from the room. Dumbledore was too slow to lock the doors.

            "HARRY!" Remus Lupin called after him.

            "Leave him alone" said Dumbledore as Harry's footsteps faded down the spiral stairway.

            "He's not taking it well at all, Albus" said Lupin in concern.

            Dumbledore took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept for two days. "It's natural for him to blame himself, Remus. Harry's always had a very strong conscience."

            Lupin looked thoughtful. "You know the Malfoy prophesy, Dumbledore…I thought you said there was some kind of loophole to every prophesy. It seems like we didn't find it- Draco is dead. Grandmother Van Doren said that love would conquer all- but I don't see how that panned out in the end."

            Dumbledore shook his head. "You don't see? Draco probably never realised how much he loved Hermione till that very last moment: it was what gave him the strength to resist the Dark Lord- to find his own free will. Love is the greatest magic, Remus. It is what saved Harry as a baby. It was what saved Noel. It is what saved our entire world from Voldemort's evil. Grandmother Van Doren never said that Draco would not die, she merely said that love would conquer all."

            "Small comfort for Hermione though." said Lupin sadly. "Small comfort for us all."

"Sometimes, the loopholes are not as we expect them to be. Sometimes, we don't recognize them till years later. In time, Hermione will recognize Draco's sacrifice for what it really represented. Not the coming of death, but the giving of life. She will find comfort then. I have always said, Remus, that the truth is a beautiful and terrible thing."

            "Harry needs to learn that lesson too. He doesn't seem to care that he's defeated Voldemort and saved us all- he keeps focusing on all the death in his life."

            "He wouldn't, would he? The killings all came at such a high price."

            "What are we going to do?"

            Albus Dumbledore stood up. "First, I am going to check on the injured. Then I am going to look for Harry."

            "And I?"

            "Remus, you should talk to Sirius. He's having a bad time too. We all are- I suppose this is Voldemort's final piece of evil."

*********************************

            Harry didn't know how long he had been sitting by the Great Lake.

            "Harry…" Ginny said, touching his arm. She hadn't dared go near him since the incident, most of her time had been spent helping Madam Pomfrey with the injured.

            "Don't, Ginny- not now" said Harry, shrinking from her touch. Why was Ginny still alive for him to love? Hermione had lost Draco Malfoy forever.

            "Dumbledore wants to see you" said the red-haired witch, sounding hurt.

            "Well I don't want to see him" said Harry, staring out at the Great Lake. He was sitting on a flat rock. He remembered helping Draco and Hermione take a photo here many months ago. The wind had been in Hermione's hair, Draco had his arm around her shoulders. Anyone could see at that moment how much Draco loved her. He wondered if Hermione still had that picture.

            "You can't go on like this…" said Ginny in a small voice, knowing that Harry hadn't eaten, drunk or slept since the night before.

            "CAN'T I?" shouted Harry. "WHY NOT? DRACO died didn't he? WHY NOT ME?"

            "Don't be so selfish! You think you're the only one who hurts!"

            "Go away, Ginny," said Harry dully.

            Ginny sniffed. "I…I love you Harry, please- talk to me."

            "You love me? Oh yeah…and I suppose that will help things? Make me feel better? Let me tell you Ginny, I have seen love lost…Love didn't help them…will it help us?" Harry said viciously, even as he said it, he felt mean and cruel. Tears sprung into Ginny's eyes.

"You've really hurt me Harry…You can sit out here for as long as you like, I don't care!"

            Ginny turned and left him. Harry felt bad. But it felt good to feel bad. The pain rose in his gut and twisted him…just like the sword must have felt when Draco killed himself.

            His eyes were hot with unshed tears, but he didn't let himself cry. The surface of the Great Lake shimmered gently, like so many tears.

            "Harry"

            He heard a voice behind him. It was Albus Dumbledore.

            Harry said nothing, but he didn't get up to walk away.

            "If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain." said Dumbledore, sitting beside Harry on the rock.

            "I have nothing more to say" said Harry.

            Dumbledore nodded. "Well, I have something to say to you, Harry. I'm afraid I didn't make myself clear earlier, when you asked me to bring Draco back."

            Harry gave a snort. "I think you made yourself perfectly clear."

            Dumbledore shook his head. "I didn't tell you the whole truth: the reason why I can't bring Draco back. I have learned Harry, that when it comes to you, telling you the complete truth is much easier than having to account for it later. So I have made up my mind to tell you now."

            Harry sat perfectly still.

            "Each time a person dies, as you know, his spirit goes into the Vale of Shadows for a while. The spirit lingers there for only a short while, unless the person chooses to be a ghost in which case his spirit never leaves,"

            "I KNOW all that… you brought Sirius back quickly for me, didn't you? But you WON'T BRING DRACO BACK FOR HERMIONE! THERE IS TIME LEFT, BUT YOU WON'T DO IT! "

            Albus Dumbledore let Harry shout, then continued. "It's not a simple process- the world is in balance. If a spirit is called to the other side, the afterworld won't accept it being taken away except with the exchange of another spirit. This is the part I didn't want to tell you about."

            Harry stared wide-eyed at Dumbledore. "An exchange of spirits? Somebody died to bring Sirius back?"

            Dumbledore nodded.

            Harry whispered, "Who?"

            "A very old friend of mine. Nicolas Flamel."

            "Nicolas Flamel died to bring Sirius back? Why?"

            "He was six hundred and sixty years old and he missed his wife. Perenelle died a few months earlier. When he heard what had happened, he came to look for me."

            Harry reeled.

He hadn't known that! He had been so happy at having Sirius back that he hadn't even wondered how such difficult magic had been performed!

"So that's the problem, we can't find a willing person to die to bring Draco back." Harry said slowly.

            "Would you, Harry?"

            Harry thought about it. "Maybe." He said at last.

            "Ahh…but you see, 'maybe' isn't good enough. But such reluctance is only natural, to want otherwise would be to defy the fine balance of life. It is not often someone goes into the Vale of Shadows willingly. They would be rejected by the afterworld if they were not completely willing."

            "I see."

            Dumbledore shook his head. "However, Harry, that is not the problem. You see, there is a person who has come to me offering to make the exchange. And in my judgment, he is the right person. I do think the exchange would work."

            Harry looked puzzled. "Who?"

            Dumbledore looked hard at Harry, "Sirius Black."

            "NO! Not Sirius...he- .."

            But Dumbledore held up a hand and cut him off. "Sirius' mission was to mentor you and make sure you destroyed Voldemort. He has served his time, he has fulfilled his purposes. He knows he is living on time borrowed from Nicolas Flamel. He asked me to make the exchange. He was completely willing- he too saw Draco's sacrifice and Hermione's pain."

            "NO!" said Harry again, forcefully. He couldn't bear to lose Sirius again. But even as he said it, his certainty wavered a fraction. He knew that Sirius had been brought back by Dumbledore only to give him strength to conquer the Dark Lord. Whenever Harry's courage shook, Sirius had been there for him.

            "As I told you in your first year Harry: to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

            Dumbledore saw the indecision on Harry's face and let him take a moment to think things through. In the first year, death had been remote for Harry, just fading screams of his parents from ten years ago….but throughout the years, death had followed Harry around, hunting him down, filling his soul with uncertainty and despair.

After a while, Dumbledore continued, "So you see, the problem is not finding an exchange of spirit."

            "Then what?" asked Harry, not bothering to argue any more.

            "The problem is finding the key to the Vale. I'm afraid it's lost."

            "Lost?"

            "It belonged to Narcissa Van Doren…it has been with the Van Dorens for many years, I borrowed it from her when I brought Sirius back…but as you know, Narcissa died with Lucius during the Final Battle and their bodies could not be retrieved. We cannot find the key, Harry. If we could, Sirius and I are prepared to bring Draco back."

            "Why don't you search Malfoy Manor?"

            Albus Dumbledore sighed, "The first thing I did when Sirius told me he was willing to make the exchange was to send Ministry officials to search the whole manor. Those wizards are experts and they have gone over it with a fine-toothed comb. I received an owl from the Ministry during my interview with Sibyl telling me of the results of their fruitless search. I doubt Naricssa would have left it lying around anyway. We've checked the Gringott's vaults…nothing. I'm afraid it's truly lost."

            "What does it look like?" asked Harry curiously.

            Dumbledore held out one of his old, wrinkled hands and looked thoughtfully at his fingers. "That's a closely guarded Ministry secret Harry. Imagine if that key fell into the wrong hands. Of course, it doesn't make you immortal, but it can certainly buy you time on earth."

            "I want to know, Dumbledore. What's this key like?"

"It's a ring."

            "What sort of ring?"

"A diamond-studded ring. An ancient magic ring shaped like a serpent eating its own tail. It is the magical link between the afterworld and our world. It is so powerful it should rightfully be with the Department of Ministries but the Van Dorens refused to part with it. When she married, Grandmother Van Doren passed it on to her favourite daughter, Narcissa Malfoy. I doubt whether Narcissa herself ever really knew the real function of that ring. I have been great friends with that family for years and it was fortunate, in Sirius' case, that I knew how to pass through veil into the afterworld."

            Harry leapt to his feet. "You're saying that all that stands between Hermione's happiness and her suffering is ring? We have to find it Dumbledore!"

            "We have done all we can."

            "I will find it!" shouted Harry. "I have to try!" He looked wildly around, as if thinking he might see the ring on the ground near him. Then he began to sob, all the pain within him pouring out at last.

            "Harry," said Dumbledore, getting up and drawing him slowly down. "Sometimes, people make choices to die so that others may live. The worst thing the living can do is to dishonour that choice by not living their lives fully and meaningfully. Hermione must learn that lesson and so must all of us who have experienced loss. Including you."

            Harry sobbed into the old man's shoulder. Dumbledore had become like a father to him. But through all the years of uncertainty, Harry had never felt the need for Dumbledore's wisdom and guidance as much as he did now.

            "It's not fair."

            "It never is."

            "I can't go on."

            "You must."

            Harry was silent.

"How do I start?"

            "Well, I saw how you treated Ginny Weasley who has always been kind and loving to you. If I am not wrong she is crying behind the rose-bushes now. It would be a start to apologise to her. You should talk to her, she is in as much pain as you. You'd be surprised what simply talking to another person can do to lighten our burdens."

            Harry dried his tears and stood up.

            "All right. I'll try."

            Dumbledore nodded and watched as Harry took the path that led from the lake to the inner grounds of Hogwarts, where the rose-bushes were.

*********************************

            Harry felt really bad about how he had treated Ginny. They had been apart on Auror duties for nearly a year and the first time they had been alone together, what had he done? He had been rude to her. What was wrong with him? Why was he always such an ass at dealing with girls? That fiasco with Cho Chang in the fifth was proof of his idiocy. She had never spoken to him again. He sincerely hoped that Ginny would be more reasonable.

            He heard a sniffle and the leaves of a nearby bush rustled.

            "Hey."

            Ginny looked up at Harry staring at her through the leaves of the bush she was crying in.

            "Go away" she said, sniffing.

            "No I won't. I was an idiot...and…and…I'm sorry, okay? You were just trying to make me feel better and I acted like a real ass."

            Ginny looked a little bit mollified. "Yeah…you were being a real idiot" she said at last.

            "Can I come in there?"

            Ginny nodded. Harry squeezed into the bush next to her and put his arm around her. They sat in silence for a while.

            "Hogwarts is so quiet when it's not term time, isn't it?" Ginny mused aloud.

            "Yes. We've had so many good times here."

            "Remember when you saved me from Tom Riddle?"

            "Of course. You were only a weedy little first year then."

            "I was not weedy."

            "Was too."

            "I wonder when we'll be coming back again."

            "Oh lots of times, I'm sure. I mean…it's Hogwarts isn't it?"

            There was another long silence.

            "Harry…do you want to talk about it?"

            There was no need explain what 'it' was. It was still fresh in their minds.

            Harry considered carefully. The past eight years of his life had been one long adventure story. Maybe Flourish and Blotts would publish it one day- it would have to be in several volumes…maybe one for each year at Hogwarts. "Yes…actually I do Ginny. All of it…If you can bear to listen to me." He gave a short laugh, "It'll sound pretty crazy at some points, and it's a hell of a long story, but I'd be glad if you'd just listen anyway."

            "Go ahead." Ginny said, snuggling up to Harry. "We have all day."

            Harry took a deep breath and began.

            Ginny smiled as she listened to Harry's soft voice. It seemed like she had been listening to him for hours…but her attention never wavered. Sometimes, she would break in with comments like, "Oh, imagine there was a time you thought Sirius was after your life!" and "Serve her right, that stupid Umbridge woman!"

Evening was falling as Harry finished his story.

            "… but Dumbledore couldn't bring Draco back because he had lost the key to the vale. The end."

            Ginny looked startled. "The end? That's it?"

            "Yes…then I came to look for you."

            "That's the only reason? He lost a key?"

            "What kind of key?"

            "It's not important, Ginny. It's lost."

            But Ginny had always been extremely curious and her curiosity once roused, was not easily brushed aside.

            "Go on Harry, what did it look like?"

            Harry stood up and pulled Ginny to her feet. Supper would be laid the Great Hall that night, and though he had no appetite, he still felt a duty to see that Ginny got her food.

            "It's a Ministry secret. Come on, I think we're late for dinner." Harry said, not knowing whether he should tell her, since Dumbledore had been reluctant to tell him. It all might have ended there but for the fact that Ginny was not so easily put-off.

 "Oh come on, Harry. What did it look like? What's this key?"

            They started off towards Hogwarts. Harry holding her hand. H decided it couldn't matter telling her, since it was lost anyway. He tried to remember what Dumbledore had told him, and spoke aloud as he did so "It's a ring. A diamond ring shaped like a snake eating its own tail."

            Ginny stopped dead in her tracks, her face rapidly draining of colour.

            "Ginny?" said Harry, staring worriedly at her.

            "Say it again."

            "Huh?"

            "The key to the Vale…what did it look like?"

            "A diamond ring shaped like a snake eating its own tail." Harry repeated. Ginny looked very odd, her eyes were bright but her face was chalk-white.

            "Oh…oh…Harry…" she was beginning to tremble.

            "Are you all right? Ginny, what's wrong?" he was really worried now. Ginny had to force herself to speak, her mind was in a whirl, and she was afraid that if she didn't control herself, she would scream.

            "The ring....the hour of our greatest need…I know where it is…oh…oh….I know…"

            "What are you saying, Ginny? How do you know where the ring is!" demanded Harry, shaking her gently. Ginny was recovering from her shock and a hot red flush filled her cheeks.

            "Harry! Harry! The ring!" She grabbed his hand so hard he yelped. Never in his whole life had he seen Ginny this excited.

            "Come on Harry! We have to go now! I know where it is…Last summer… I've seen it! I've touched it!" Ginny tugged at his hand and began running toward the main door of Hogwarts.

            "Wait Ginny! Are you sure? How do you know?" Harry yelled as he ran after her.

            "I'm SURE!" Ginny almost screamed as she ran, her eyes filling with tears of excitement as she ran into the Great Hall. "Professor Dumbledore! Professor Dumbledore!"

The young witch ran straight down the centre aisle of the Hall to the Professor's table. There were a few other professors and Aurors eating together there.

            "Ginny? What is it, child?" said Professor McGonagall, curiously. "Calm yourself."

            Only with the greatest self-control did Ginny stop herself pulling at Professor Dumbledore's robes. However, she simply couldn't keep her voice down as she cried out in front of a shocked table of Aurors: "The key to the vale is on Hermione's finger!"