Gaby and all other characters that appear in the story are mine.
Rated PG-13 : Harsh language; strong sexual content; mature concepts.
Reviews are appreciated, please take a moment to leave one.
A/N: This story and 'Unreal Life' take place at the same time, and I am posting them at the same time. They are separate but related stories, and can be read together or separately.
Russell Lee. Eric spotted him at once, even as he pulled over at the side of the street and parked. A Chinese man, about his height and size, in his mid-forties, watering his lawn with a garden hose. They watched each other warily as Eric opened his door and got out. After a moment to size up the house -- medium-sized, painted a quiet beige, well-kept -- he crossed the street and stepped onto the walkway leading to the front door.
"Russell Lee?" he asked.
"That's right. You're Eric Myers, aren't you?" Up close, Lee was a nice-looking man, still fit, only a hint of gray in his hair, his gaze steady and direct. Again Eric looked for his own likeness, wondered if he was imagining things, and again couldn't be sure.
"Yes. Thanks for agreeing to talk to me."
"No problem. Come on in."
Again, a walk into someone else's home, someone else's life. This time they sat in the living room. Eric took a quick look around, seeing comfortable furniture, nice but meant to be used, not just looked at. A few toys were scattered around the floor.
Lee saw him looking and smiled. "Our grandchildren. We babysat last night. Still haven't cleared up." He reached to pick up a picture of a pretty woman and two children from the coffee table and show it to Eric. "My wife and our kids. They're grown up now, of course. My son has kids of his own. Eight months. Twins."
"Very nice."
"But you want to talk about Pamela Ashford." He looked at Eric intently. "So you're her son. I can see the resemblance."
Eric frowned, and decided to get to the subject. "You know Dennis Myers isn't my real father."
"Of course." He raised his brows. "You should be glad. I knew Dennis, or knew of him. He was a bully. A real asshole. Sorry to say it, but it's true."
Eric found himself smiling. "I agree. He's in jail now."
"I'm not surprised. And..." Lee blinked and leaned forward, staring at his hands. "Dad told me Pammy -- your mother -- died recently. I'm very sorry."
"Thanks. You probably knew her better than I did. I hadn't seen her since I was nine."
Looking startled, Lee met his eyes again. "I knew she left you when you were a kid. Never knew what happened to you. She never came back for you? You never saw her alive again?"
"No."
"That's terrible." He seemed shaken. "Pammy was a wonderful girl. But she did things, especially when she was drunk… I was shocked when she abandoned you like that. Couldn't believe she could do something that cruel…"
Eric cleared his throat. "I think -- in her mind she was trying to do the right thing. She thought she couldn't take care of me anymore. Thought I'd be better off." Anxious to change the subject, he straightened up. "I'm here because I want to know who my biological father is."
"Yes, Dad told me." Lee smiled. "Sorry, but it's not me. In a way I wish it was. I could have taken you when she left. Would have liked to." His face became serious, even sad. "I thought I was in love with her. Really worshipped the ground that girl walked on. I cared for all of her, not just her body. Maybe that's why she never tried to sleep with me."
"You telling me you never tried?"
A half-smile. "I was only sixteen. And most kids didn't grow up so fast back then. Believe me, I wanted to. But I was inexperienced, and scared. And I wanted -- I don't know. I didn't want it to be the way it was with all the other guys she went with. As long as we were just friends, I knew it was different between us. Special." He looked directly at Eric again. "I never was much for casual sex. And she wasn't capable of anything else, at least not then."
"I understand." And he did. It was something they had in common. He paused for a few moments. When Lee was silent, staring pensively at the picture of his family, Eric went on to his next question. "There was a night you went out to dinner with my mother and another couple. At Sammy Chong's restaurant. She left with a group of Japanese businessmen, and you went after them."
"Yes. Later she told me that was the night she got pregnant." Lee hadn't moved, his eyes distant. "I remember it very well. We had a fight…"
"Pammy, wait up!"
She stopped. So did the four men in business suits. Russell glanced at them nervously and beckoned to her. She just grinned at him and stood there, with them, hands on her hips.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to show my friends where Jack's is."
Jack's Bar. The local hangout. A place where they weren't so particular that they wouldn't pretend to believe Pam's fake ID, and serve her drinks. Of course she liked it better if she could find someone to buy the stuff for her. And she thought she'd lucked out tonight.
"Pammy, it's late. You should go home."
"Why?" She grinned again, turned on her heel, and led the way, throwing a flirtatious glance back at the four men following her. "Come on, boys, it's just a couple of blocks. I'll let all of you buy me a drink…"
He followed them on the short walk to Jack's, feeling helpless and frustrated. She was doing it again. Not just picking up men in front of him, treating him like dirt, but acting stupid. She was going to get in trouble, sooner or later.
They all went into the bar, a noisy, smoky place, filled with people whose eyes were too bright and voices too loud. They found a table. One of the men got up and returned with a round of drinks. Time went by while Russell stayed, sat with them, not drinking, watching Pam talk and laugh, trying to think of some way to get her out of there, getting more nervous as it got close to his curfew.
"So… where do you live?" one of the men was asking her. His hand was lifted, one finger trailing up and down her bare arm.
"In my Mom's house. What a drag."
"Yes, a drag. I'd like to get out of here. Go somewhere quieter."
She smiled at him and leaned closer. "So would I. Are you guys in a hotel or something?"
"We have a couple of rooms. Maybe you'd like to see them?"
"Well, sure." She smirked at him. "I love hotel beds…"
He smiled and turned to his companions. "You're all right here for a while, aren't you?"
"Why don't you all come?" she said, glancing at Russell, laughing at his expression. "We can have a party."
It was too much. He jumped up, knocking his chair back noisily. "You're crazy, Pammy!" he shouted.
"Mind your own business, Russell!"
"Do you guys know she's only seventeen? That means she's illegal here in California! How old are all of you, anyway? Thirties? Forties? It's disgusting!"
"Shut up! You little shit!" She jumped to her feet and came after him. "Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone!"
He retreated, trying to hold back the tears that were already stinging his eyes. At the door to the bar he turned back. The four men had gotten up. Pam was talking to them, her face upset. He saw the one who had invited her to their rooms wave at her dismissively. They all started for the door, passing him with only a hostile glance, leaving her standing there…
"She stormed out, calling me a few more names in the process. The Japanese businessmen caught a cab. She walked away. I was going to go after her, but a cop car pulled up and she started talking to the guy. I went back in the bar and called my father to pick me up. Saw her around school, but I didn't talk to her again until I heard she was pregnant." He raised his eyes to Eric's face. "She told me it happened that night. But she wouldn't say who it was."
"But it wasn't one of the businessmen."
"Not unless she followed them. But I doubt it."
Eric felt a breath of relief. There was only one more question. "Any more ideas? Guesses? Anything that could help me?"
"I'm afraid not. Wish I could be more help."
"You've been a big help. Thanks. I'd better get going."
They stopped outside, in the garden. Lee picked up the hose again and smiled at Eric. "I'm glad you came," he said unexpectedly. "Good to know Pammy's son turned out so well."
"Thanks." Eric hesitated and then said it. "Sounds to me like she didn't treat you very well. I'm surprised you still feel something for her."
"She wasn't always like that. I don't know. Most of the time she was nice… kind… but there was something mean in her too, buried inside. It was like she couldn't help it. I like to think I saw the real Pamela Ashford…"
Eric crossed the street and got into his car. He watched Lee again for a moment, wondering, trying to see that young boy who had truly loved his mother, trying to picture her the way she had appeared to him. But all he could see was a middle-aged Chinese man watering his lawn, his face shadowed by memories.
She was late. He paced nervously in the mall, in front of the cafeteria where they had agreed to meet for lunch. People went by, families, talking and laughing. The lights were so bright, the background sounds of voices, movement, faint music from some of the stores so suddenly irritating. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Where the hell was she?
A vision of Norman, holding Gaby the way Eric had seen him, his fingers digging into her arms, shoving her down to the floor, hitting her... The bruises had faded, but not that memory. He gritted his teeth. The cops wouldn't take a missing person report, not yet. They'd laugh at him. He should try calling her, before he panicked, started acting like an idiot… As he was reaching for his cell phone he saw her, rushing towards him across the tiled floor, smiling, holding a shopping bag.
Sharp relief shot through him, and equally sharp anger. Her smile faded as she came up to him, as he glared at her, fury surging through him, then shame, then more anger…
"Where the hell have you been?"
"I'm sorry, I was shopping, found a really great pair of jeans, but there was a line, and they just wouldn't move, sorry I'm late."
"Do you have any idea how worried I was? How could you be late when you knew I'd think something was wrong?"
"Jesus, I was only fifteen minutes late."
"Yeah, fifteen minutes! I thought… How could you be so irresponsible?" He stopped, controlling himself with an effort, guiltily seeing the hurt on her face. "Damn it -- just don't do something like this again!"
"All right, I won't. God. I don't know why you're getting so upset. I'm the one who's in danger."
"I'm the one who has to protect you! And it doesn't make it any easier when you pull something like this!"
She stared, her eyes going wide and then narrow. "Sorry to be such a burden!"
"Shit!" He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry."
Her face was stiff and cold as she said, "No, I'm sorry. Should have known you'd be worried."
"Well -- let's just have lunch."
They went through the cafeteria line silently, sat down, and began to eat. Eric watched her as long as he could stand it, seeing the pinched look that meant she was seriously upset, maybe holding back tears.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "Shouldn't have lost my temper."
"It's okay. You were worried. I understand." She gave him a forced smile. "So -- how did it go?" she asked after another brief silence.
"Okay, I guess. Russell Lee said it's not him. Just like the rest of them." He gave her a summary of Lee's story.
She smiled when he finished, genuinely this time. "So it wasn't one of the businessmen. Good."
"That's how it looks. But I'm back where I started."
"What are you going to do now?"
He sighed. "Guess I'll go to the cops here. Lee said she was talking to someone in a patrol car the last time he saw her that night. Maybe I can find him."
"Sounds reasonable."
Afterwards they walked out, into the overly bright, cheerful center of the mall again. He stopped and took her hand. "I'm sorry…" he started, hesitating and raising the other hand to brush his fingers against her cheek. "I only got so mad because I was worried."
"Forget it. It was my fault." She stepped closer to kiss the side of his jaw, then hugged him as he wrapped his arms tight around her. After a comforting moment they both stepped back. She was smiling as she picked up her shopping bag. "Well, guess I'll try the movie theatre this time," she said. Eric didn't miss the slight sigh that went with it.
"You could come with me," he said.
"No. I'll be fine. And I promise not to be late."
The building across the street looked familiar, even though it probably had changed since he had been here, twenty years ago. He remembered it vividly, being brought to this place, nine years old, a kid abandoned by his mother in a bus station. They had kept him in the squad room, the officer who had talked him into coming out of the bus station bathroom doing his best to keep him comfortable and entertained. But nothing had helped.
Then the social workers had come, and he had been taken away, to start a new life in orphanages and foster homes. His mind still shied away from those years. Not that he had been abused or neglected, not really. Not physically. But he had known he didn't belong. That no one wanted him, no one liked him, mostly his fault, he had taken out his problems on everyone around him...
It was no time to be sinking into the past again, no time to be letting himself be distracted. Taking a breath and squaring his shoulders, Eric crossed the street.
"Eric Myers," he repeated to the desk sergeant. "I'm a Silver Guardian, from Silver Hills." He held out his ID for inspection.
"What's your business here?"
"Personal. Sort of a professional favor. I just want to ask a few questions."
"Anyone in particular you want to talk to?"
"Someone who was around thirty years ago, if possible."
"I'll see if I can find someone," the desk sergeant said dubiously.
"Thanks."
He sat, and waited. The room was quiet, in a small town like this there wasn't the same constant traffic back and forth that he was used to in Silver Hills. No suspects being hauled in and out, or waiting, handcuffed, on benches; only a few officers walking through, nodding to each other, looking at him curiously.
"Eric Myers?"
He looked up to see a man in his fifties, dark hair starting to show gray, alert eyes examining him carefully, in plain clothes but with that indefinable air that told Eric he was a cop.
"Yes." He stood.
"Detective Parkins. Glad to meet you." After a quick handshake, the older man led him into the back rooms of the stationhouse. Soon they were sitting at a desk in a quiet corner, out of earshot of the other detectives at other desks scattered around the room. Eric fidgeted under another close look.
"So, how can I help you?" Parkins said.
"I'm looking for a particular police officer. Someone who was in a patrol car thirty years ago, downtown near Jack's Bar, about ten PM. Would have been May, 1973."
"And?"
"My mother was seventeen then, in high school. He stopped her that night when she left Jack's. Was seen talking to her. I know it's a long shot, but..."
"Your mother. Pamela Ashford. Pamela Myers after she got married."
Eric blinked. "You knew her?"
Parkins stared at him steadily. "Yes. I knew you, too."
"You did?"
"Of course, you were just a kid, then." A sigh, and Parkins leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Do you remember, after your mother left you -- abandoned you -- in the bus station, a couple of cops came to get you? One of them talked to you in the men's room, got you to come out of the stall?"
Eric's throat constricted, but he got the answer out. "I remember."
"I wasn't a detective yet then. Still a uniformed officer."
"That was you?"
"Yes." He smiled. "I recognized your name, when the desk sergeant called around for someone to talk to you. Never forgot you. Back then I spent some time myself, trying to find your mother. Kept track of you for a while, but then… Always wondered what happened to you."
"I did okay, I guess." Eric looked up at him, feeling emotions he was reluctant to identify. Gratitude, certainly, but also an echo of the fear and grief he had felt that day. "I'm glad I have the chance to thank you," he said awkwardly. "Don't think I ever said it at the time."
Parkins smiled, and then sat back. When he spoke again his voice was brisk and steady. "It's a coincidence, but I'm probably the one you're looking for. I remember your mother, too, from before you were born. Remember stopping her on the street one night. She had just run out of Jack's." He stopped, brows contracting. "What's this about, anyway?"
"I think that night was when -- well, I think whoever she was with that night is my father. My biological father."
"I see." Again a careful scrutiny. "He'd have to be Asian… What are you planning to do if you find him?"
"Talk to him. Find out what he's like."
"Why? And why now?"
Eric shifted in his chair. "Don't I have the right to know?"
"Maybe. But this is my town, and I don't want you starting trouble."
Eric felt annoyance, but also respect. It occurred to him that he'd feel exactly the same way. "I'm not out to make trouble." He sighed. "My mother died a few months ago. I hadn't seen her since -- since the bus station. I guess that's why I want to know. Want to find out about the other side of my family. My heritage, if you want to call it that."
Sharp eyes pierced through him again, and apparently liked what they found. "Okay. Yeah, I talked to your mother that night…"
Pam Ashford. He recognized her instantly, after having run into her several times at bars she was too young to have any business being in. She was mildly drunk, that was obvious. And in a strange mood. She grinned at him, giving him what she probably thought was a seductive look. "Can't a girl have a good time around here?" she complained. "Maybe you'd be interested…"
"Sorry. But I'd be happy to take you home."
"Home? No thanks."
"Look, it's late. A girl like you shouldn't be wandering around alone."
"A girl like me? And what kind of a girl am I?" She laughed, straightened, and threw her shoulders back, turning slightly to show off her curves under a tight, low-cut sweater.
"The kind who should be home in bed."
He regretted his choice of words as she grinned at him and said, "I wouldn't mind being in bed… but not home."
"Do I have to call your parents to come get you?" he asked, mostly out of annoyance.
"Oh, all right." She pouted and looked around. "My friends are back at Sammy Chong's. I'll catch a ride with them." With a mocking smile, she wiggled her fingers at him and started off, more or less steadily…
"She went back to Chong's restaurant?" Eric demanded.
"That's right. I watched her go in. Noticed there was only one car in the parking lot. Sammy's car. Figured if her friends were gone, he'd make sure she got home. Then I went back on patrol." His eyes fell. "Twenty minutes later, I drove back that way. Saw them getting into Sammy's car. With the mood she was in -- after I heard she was pregnant -- and after you were born -- I wondered if anything happened between them."
Eric stared at him, his mind seeing Sammy Chong's face, hearing him saying he hadn't seen Pamela again that night. After a moment he got up. "Thanks," he said. "You may have told me what I need to know."
TBC...
