Title:  Glass Mask

Spoilers: Hm, it doesn't mention anything from book 5 so you're safe.

Rating: probably just a G.   

Disclaimer: I am not J.K.R. she and who ever else she says owns the rights to Harry potter.  I'm just nicking them for a couple of angsty moments.

Feedback: Oh, I love feed back.  It's always welcomed.  For those of you who plan to flame me though, I like fire, it tickles, you'll only make me laugh.  

Summary: K, I don't really know how to summarise this. *Draco or Harry * is dyeing, and there last thoughts fall to there school rival.  Its Harry/Draco sort off, its confusing.  I wrote it with one of them in mind, but it can be taken from either point of view.  It can also be taken as slash.  But it doesn't have to be.

A/N:  this is just a little bit of stuff I wrote because I'm bored.  I actually like it a lot, its one of my favourites.  I know whose POV I was telling it from, but I'd love to here who you guys think it's supposed to be. 

            And so here I sit, so god damned pissed off at life that I forget to hate you.  It hurts to forget to hate you, to lose that façade.  It's become shockingly comfortable and beautifully crafted, like a glass mask.  Shrouding my face; Keeping my eyes expressionless and my heart frozen. 

            When I'm in pain I can't help but blame you.  It's your fault any way, so why not?  But now it's different.  I can't blame you.  I want to, hell I even tried to, but even I can't angle that one to work. 

            And now I hate you all over again, I have found a way to blame you and it becomes easier again.  I am lying here, and I want to give you the credit, I want you to be the hero, I want you to steel it from me, and there is suddenly a reason to hate you again.

            I finally did something for myself; I finally showed every one that I'm not a pawn.  All I can do is wish I hadn't, all I can do is wish you would take the blame, say it was your heroics, your luck.  Instead, I lye here, blood pooling around me -my own, if your wondering, though I doubt you are- and my last thoughts are you.  I want you here, for some god forsaken reason I want you to see that I am no longer a pawn.  I chose my side, and for the next five, maybe six minutes I get to bask in the glory of it all.  It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.  But then, looking past your own smoked-glass mask, you were never happy either were you?

            I can't fathom it.  There is something I just don't get.  We were so different, yet so much the same.  We both had bigger enemies, but some how you were all I cared about.  I focused on hating you when I couldn't take it any more shit from the world because you would always hate me back.  You didn't duck and dive; you didn't change your tone.  You were just always there.  Always hating me.  And it was ok for me to hate you back; it was ok to show you that, because you hated me just the same.

            But now?  Now it's different.  I gave you seventeen years of my life today.  I gave you my past, I gave you by future and hell, I'm giving you my present right now.  I'm dyeing and all I think about is you.

            I want you to know.  I want to win.  See, I can do this just as well as you can.  I feel eleven again.  Meeting you for the first time.  You didn't hate me then.  I didn't hate you either.  I'm not eleven any more neither are you.  I want to be.  Everything was simple, there was no good and bad, no right and wrong, no light and dark.  Just the good little boys and the bad little boys.  Even that was objective though. 

            Everything is important now.  Everything we do, every move we make, it has a big picture to it.  It had a big picture to it.

            Did you notice that?  It's we now.  It always was, but we would never admit it.  We were both too stubborn.  We were Pawns in a game played by Kings, and admitting it would be fatal.

            You did it first.  Of course you did.  I did it better though, I'll prove it. 

Everything's getting darker now.  Does it hurt to die? I'm certainly in pain right now, does it get worse?  I would ask you. But I'll know by then.  I wonder absently if I'll go to heaven or hell.  I'm not sure I care.  I know we'll meet up one day, where ever it is, because they can't split us up.  We are an item.  You can't have one without the other.  Besides, how will I be able to prove to you what I did if we never meet again?  I did it.  I'm no ones pawn.  Pain racks through my body and I cant see at all.   

The glass mask shatters.  I want you here.  I want you.  I don't care.  I gave up my life to win your respect.  I don't care what they will say, I don't care who it will hurt.  I gave up every thing.  I'm your equal now.  Please let me be your equal. 

They said I was indestructible.  Then again, whoever they are, said you were too.  They were wrong.  

~*~*~Fin~*~*~

Words: 764