A.N.: Hello! I have the second chapter up! I'm so good! I'm so wonderful!
I'm so.very very modest! Thanks to all who have been kind enough to review.
^_^
BearFeetz-Yeah, I kinda forgot about that one too. Heh heh. It's kinda sad when a writer forgets about her own story. But I promise I'll be working on it! What? You haven't guessed who the Calvary are? ::grin::
--
"Then?" Maureen sat up straighter and looked around, "who's them?"
"'Them' are my secret weapons. 'Them' will take Marky and help him look-and act-fabulous!"
"I don't think Mark wants to look 'fabulous' dearest," Collins pinched the top of his nose.
"I love how you guys have those sweet names for each other," Mimi sighed, then elbowed a distracted Roger in the groin, "Roger never calls me dearest!"
Roger was rendered unable to talk-he winced instead and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"Oh no honey," Angel waved his hand, "Collins only calls me dearest when he's aggravated at me-poor honey's probably getting a migraine huh?" He patted Collins on the shoulder, pouting indulgently. "But don't you worry, just sit back and relax. I'll do the thinking for both of us on this one!"
"D'ya think his head'll explode?" Maureen whispered loudly to Joanne. The lawyer just elbowed her lightly.
"Pookie!"
"So, wait," Roger had finally regained some semblance of a voice, and was looking at Mimi apprehensively, "Who's 'Them' again?"
Angel rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything, Collins interjected quickly:
"The reason aspirin was invented."
"Collins! You be nice!" Angel shot his a look, met Mimi's knowing gaze and smiled ruefully, then patted a wrinkle from the shoulder of his shirt. "'Them' are just a few of my friends. Don't you listen to Collins, he's suffering from inclarity of thought due to headache." Angel led Collins to the couch, where the professor sat down next to Joanne.
They exchanged mutually sympathetic looks, before Joanne pulle da box out of her purse, and handed it to Collins. "Extra-strength Tylenol migraine. Take as many as you need."
Collins looked at the side of the box. Recommended amount: 2. He shook three out and swallowed them dry.
"Thanks."
"Not a problem."
"Now, where are they?" Angel looked at his watch, then back towards the door. "I told them specifically two o'clock!"
As if by some miraculous cue, there was a bang on the door, and the creaking of steps outside the loft.
Collins wondered how many Tylenol he could take before passing out. Then he wondered if passing out wasn't preferable.
"Well finally!" Angel huffed, and stomped to open the door. "Two o'clock! I told you two o'clock!"
The others strained their ears to hear, and were greeted with a distinctly Russian accent. "I had to take shower."
"IT DOESN'T TAKE FORTY-FIVE MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER!"
This time, it was a second voice. "I does when he's got to bring somebody with him."
Somebody giggled.
"Hello!" Maureen called, "Bring them in Angel! We want to meet the Calvary!"
"Okay, okay," Angel made a motion towards the group behind him.
There was a tall, gorgeous one with dark hair, with a petite blonde (who looked, Maureen thought with a purr, like he could be a candidate for Gay Playboy Bunny of the Year) draped over him. Next to them was one with reddish, spiky hair, an Asian fellow, and twins.
And they were all absolutely delicious looking. Maureen fought back the urge to squeal.
"Ooh," she walked over and stood in front of them. "So many pretty boys, so little time!"
"Sorry sweetheart," the Asian shook his head, "strictly DC."
"Really?" She pouted. "All of you?"
The group nodded.
"What's DC?" Joanne looked a little perplexed.
Roger made an O with his right forefinger and thumb, then stuck his left forefinger through it. "That's AC, alternate current." Then he took both forefingers and pressed the tips together, "That's DC, direct current."
Joanne made a face. "You could have just said you were gay."
Angel was still ranting. It was doubtful if he'd noticed the conversation at all. "And what if Mark had gotten here before you guys? What if he figured out what was going on?"
"And what if UFO landed and abducted you all while we weren't here!" The tall Russian waved his hands melodramatically, a cruel imitation of Angel.
"Wow, that would bite," the blonde curled his upper lip.
"Shelby," The Russian (who's name was Sasha) planted a kiss on the blonde's ear, "you're cuter when you stay quiet."
"That's mean," Mimi raised her eyebrow.
"Honey," Roger wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled her closer, "you're cuter when you stay quiet."
Mimi delivered another painful blow to the resting place of Roger's shortest appendage.
"You just can't take a joke!" He wheezed.
"You just can't take a hint, honey."
Angel was seething, "CEASE AND DESIST!!"
The room got very silent.
"I WANT YOU ALL BACK IN YOU'RE APPOINTED POSITIONS!" He waved his arms. Those people who were already seated rearranged themselves back in their original places. "Now, Sasha, you sit there, Shelby, you can sit next to him."
He pointed to a place by the wall.
"Measha," he turned to the spiky-haired one, "and Lee," he pointed to the Asian, "there on the couch next to Roger and Mimi. Cor and Cal, you guys can sit on the folding chairs by the lamp." The twins sat down on the metal chairs.
"Now," Angel made a dramatic gesture to wipe the sweat from his brow. "Back to the point. Mark. Mark, to fill you guy sin, needs a girlfriend. He's lonely, because he's the only one of us who doesn't have one."
Shelby raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"I don't have a girlfriend."
"Well, yes Shelby." Angel rolled his eyes. "We know you don't have a girlfriend." He sighed. "I mean that Mark's the only single one."
"Hey!" Measha yelped, "I'm single!"
"You guys don't count!"
"Well geez," Measha sniffed dramatically, "I don't count to anybody!"
"You mean you guys," Joanne motioned to him and Lee, "aren't together?"
"Absolutely not!" Lee hissed reproachfully.
"He's a stuck up prick." Measha nodded his head.
"Oh, but Measha!" Sasha wailed, "I thought I was the only prick in your life!"
"AHEM!" Angel stomped his feet.
"Drag queen's gonna pop," Sasha grumbled. Shelby giggled. Roger barked a laugh.
Collins slowly kneaded the spot right in between his eyebrows.
Sasha raised his hand.
"WHAT?!"
"Did you ask Mark if he wanted to be set up with somebody?"
"No," Angel rolled his eyes, "But I know-"
"Nope. Nuh-uh," Sasha started to climb up from behind Shelby. "I am not getting involved in one of your half-assed schemes to set a friend up! I've been on both sides of that board, thank you very much."
"SASHA!" Angel very nearly screeched. "Mark is lonely! I know it! I'm just doing him a favor! Pleeeeeeeeease?!"
Sasha leaned against the wall, with his arms folded, and gave Angel a look.
"Please please please please please please please please?!"
"That doesn't work," Measha tapped Angel on the shoulder.
"Sure it does," Shelby grinned.
"Well fine then," Angel spread his arms out, "Be my guest Shelby. Go ahead and convince him."
"Okay!"
Sasha's eyes widened, and then he broke into a trot for the door. Shelby chased him.
"Alright alright alright," Joanne held up her hands. "We are poorly unorganized. First, what are our objectives."
"Three objectives. One: Make Mark dateworthy. Two: Get him a date. Three: Make sure the relationship lasts-preferably involving sex. A boy that deprived just makes me sad."
Joanne was writing it all down on a legal pad.
"How long's it been?" Cor asked.
"A couple months."
Almost everybody in the room hissed.
"Jesus Christ!"
"Holy shit!" Measha yelped, and laughed. He turned to Lee. "Could you imagine Sasha trying to go for a couple of months without getting any?"
Angel nudged Collins. "We went for a week once."
"I remember that," Mimi rolled her eyes, "That was a scary thing." She poked Collins on the arm, and made large doe eyes at him. "Collins, you want some watermelon?"
"Hey!" He batted her hand away, chuckling a little; "you leave me out of this."
"Scary.oh boy. You don't know scary." Lee sighed. "Shelby decided that maybe abstinence for a little bit would teach Sasha a lesson. The dude flipped. Got through about a day, maybe, before he was threatening to throw Shelby out."
"I knew that was how Shelby got around paying his par of the rent every month!" Measha pumped his fist up in the air.
Joanne's eyes widened. Maureen squealed like a girl who heard a dirty secret. "Wow.Pookie'd never do that to me, right?"
Joanne just raised her eyebrow and smiled secretively. "Maybe."
"I should hit you," Maureen pouted, but she couldn't up but smile a little back. "Hard."
"I didn't know lesbians were into all that kind of stuff." Measha looked almost comically interested.
Maureen leaned over the arm of the couch, and looked at Measha. She batted her eyes a little bit. Oh, he was cute. They were all cute.
She wondered how he'd feel about a threesome. Or maybe more, if she could get the Russian and the blonde in on it.She was sure the former wouldn't mind.
"Maureen! Earth to Maureen!" Joanne poked her back.
Maureen made it a mental note to bring it up later.
BearFeetz-Yeah, I kinda forgot about that one too. Heh heh. It's kinda sad when a writer forgets about her own story. But I promise I'll be working on it! What? You haven't guessed who the Calvary are? ::grin::
--
"Then?" Maureen sat up straighter and looked around, "who's them?"
"'Them' are my secret weapons. 'Them' will take Marky and help him look-and act-fabulous!"
"I don't think Mark wants to look 'fabulous' dearest," Collins pinched the top of his nose.
"I love how you guys have those sweet names for each other," Mimi sighed, then elbowed a distracted Roger in the groin, "Roger never calls me dearest!"
Roger was rendered unable to talk-he winced instead and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"Oh no honey," Angel waved his hand, "Collins only calls me dearest when he's aggravated at me-poor honey's probably getting a migraine huh?" He patted Collins on the shoulder, pouting indulgently. "But don't you worry, just sit back and relax. I'll do the thinking for both of us on this one!"
"D'ya think his head'll explode?" Maureen whispered loudly to Joanne. The lawyer just elbowed her lightly.
"Pookie!"
"So, wait," Roger had finally regained some semblance of a voice, and was looking at Mimi apprehensively, "Who's 'Them' again?"
Angel rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything, Collins interjected quickly:
"The reason aspirin was invented."
"Collins! You be nice!" Angel shot his a look, met Mimi's knowing gaze and smiled ruefully, then patted a wrinkle from the shoulder of his shirt. "'Them' are just a few of my friends. Don't you listen to Collins, he's suffering from inclarity of thought due to headache." Angel led Collins to the couch, where the professor sat down next to Joanne.
They exchanged mutually sympathetic looks, before Joanne pulle da box out of her purse, and handed it to Collins. "Extra-strength Tylenol migraine. Take as many as you need."
Collins looked at the side of the box. Recommended amount: 2. He shook three out and swallowed them dry.
"Thanks."
"Not a problem."
"Now, where are they?" Angel looked at his watch, then back towards the door. "I told them specifically two o'clock!"
As if by some miraculous cue, there was a bang on the door, and the creaking of steps outside the loft.
Collins wondered how many Tylenol he could take before passing out. Then he wondered if passing out wasn't preferable.
"Well finally!" Angel huffed, and stomped to open the door. "Two o'clock! I told you two o'clock!"
The others strained their ears to hear, and were greeted with a distinctly Russian accent. "I had to take shower."
"IT DOESN'T TAKE FORTY-FIVE MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER!"
This time, it was a second voice. "I does when he's got to bring somebody with him."
Somebody giggled.
"Hello!" Maureen called, "Bring them in Angel! We want to meet the Calvary!"
"Okay, okay," Angel made a motion towards the group behind him.
There was a tall, gorgeous one with dark hair, with a petite blonde (who looked, Maureen thought with a purr, like he could be a candidate for Gay Playboy Bunny of the Year) draped over him. Next to them was one with reddish, spiky hair, an Asian fellow, and twins.
And they were all absolutely delicious looking. Maureen fought back the urge to squeal.
"Ooh," she walked over and stood in front of them. "So many pretty boys, so little time!"
"Sorry sweetheart," the Asian shook his head, "strictly DC."
"Really?" She pouted. "All of you?"
The group nodded.
"What's DC?" Joanne looked a little perplexed.
Roger made an O with his right forefinger and thumb, then stuck his left forefinger through it. "That's AC, alternate current." Then he took both forefingers and pressed the tips together, "That's DC, direct current."
Joanne made a face. "You could have just said you were gay."
Angel was still ranting. It was doubtful if he'd noticed the conversation at all. "And what if Mark had gotten here before you guys? What if he figured out what was going on?"
"And what if UFO landed and abducted you all while we weren't here!" The tall Russian waved his hands melodramatically, a cruel imitation of Angel.
"Wow, that would bite," the blonde curled his upper lip.
"Shelby," The Russian (who's name was Sasha) planted a kiss on the blonde's ear, "you're cuter when you stay quiet."
"That's mean," Mimi raised her eyebrow.
"Honey," Roger wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled her closer, "you're cuter when you stay quiet."
Mimi delivered another painful blow to the resting place of Roger's shortest appendage.
"You just can't take a joke!" He wheezed.
"You just can't take a hint, honey."
Angel was seething, "CEASE AND DESIST!!"
The room got very silent.
"I WANT YOU ALL BACK IN YOU'RE APPOINTED POSITIONS!" He waved his arms. Those people who were already seated rearranged themselves back in their original places. "Now, Sasha, you sit there, Shelby, you can sit next to him."
He pointed to a place by the wall.
"Measha," he turned to the spiky-haired one, "and Lee," he pointed to the Asian, "there on the couch next to Roger and Mimi. Cor and Cal, you guys can sit on the folding chairs by the lamp." The twins sat down on the metal chairs.
"Now," Angel made a dramatic gesture to wipe the sweat from his brow. "Back to the point. Mark. Mark, to fill you guy sin, needs a girlfriend. He's lonely, because he's the only one of us who doesn't have one."
Shelby raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"I don't have a girlfriend."
"Well, yes Shelby." Angel rolled his eyes. "We know you don't have a girlfriend." He sighed. "I mean that Mark's the only single one."
"Hey!" Measha yelped, "I'm single!"
"You guys don't count!"
"Well geez," Measha sniffed dramatically, "I don't count to anybody!"
"You mean you guys," Joanne motioned to him and Lee, "aren't together?"
"Absolutely not!" Lee hissed reproachfully.
"He's a stuck up prick." Measha nodded his head.
"Oh, but Measha!" Sasha wailed, "I thought I was the only prick in your life!"
"AHEM!" Angel stomped his feet.
"Drag queen's gonna pop," Sasha grumbled. Shelby giggled. Roger barked a laugh.
Collins slowly kneaded the spot right in between his eyebrows.
Sasha raised his hand.
"WHAT?!"
"Did you ask Mark if he wanted to be set up with somebody?"
"No," Angel rolled his eyes, "But I know-"
"Nope. Nuh-uh," Sasha started to climb up from behind Shelby. "I am not getting involved in one of your half-assed schemes to set a friend up! I've been on both sides of that board, thank you very much."
"SASHA!" Angel very nearly screeched. "Mark is lonely! I know it! I'm just doing him a favor! Pleeeeeeeeease?!"
Sasha leaned against the wall, with his arms folded, and gave Angel a look.
"Please please please please please please please please?!"
"That doesn't work," Measha tapped Angel on the shoulder.
"Sure it does," Shelby grinned.
"Well fine then," Angel spread his arms out, "Be my guest Shelby. Go ahead and convince him."
"Okay!"
Sasha's eyes widened, and then he broke into a trot for the door. Shelby chased him.
"Alright alright alright," Joanne held up her hands. "We are poorly unorganized. First, what are our objectives."
"Three objectives. One: Make Mark dateworthy. Two: Get him a date. Three: Make sure the relationship lasts-preferably involving sex. A boy that deprived just makes me sad."
Joanne was writing it all down on a legal pad.
"How long's it been?" Cor asked.
"A couple months."
Almost everybody in the room hissed.
"Jesus Christ!"
"Holy shit!" Measha yelped, and laughed. He turned to Lee. "Could you imagine Sasha trying to go for a couple of months without getting any?"
Angel nudged Collins. "We went for a week once."
"I remember that," Mimi rolled her eyes, "That was a scary thing." She poked Collins on the arm, and made large doe eyes at him. "Collins, you want some watermelon?"
"Hey!" He batted her hand away, chuckling a little; "you leave me out of this."
"Scary.oh boy. You don't know scary." Lee sighed. "Shelby decided that maybe abstinence for a little bit would teach Sasha a lesson. The dude flipped. Got through about a day, maybe, before he was threatening to throw Shelby out."
"I knew that was how Shelby got around paying his par of the rent every month!" Measha pumped his fist up in the air.
Joanne's eyes widened. Maureen squealed like a girl who heard a dirty secret. "Wow.Pookie'd never do that to me, right?"
Joanne just raised her eyebrow and smiled secretively. "Maybe."
"I should hit you," Maureen pouted, but she couldn't up but smile a little back. "Hard."
"I didn't know lesbians were into all that kind of stuff." Measha looked almost comically interested.
Maureen leaned over the arm of the couch, and looked at Measha. She batted her eyes a little bit. Oh, he was cute. They were all cute.
She wondered how he'd feel about a threesome. Or maybe more, if she could get the Russian and the blonde in on it.She was sure the former wouldn't mind.
"Maureen! Earth to Maureen!" Joanne poked her back.
Maureen made it a mental note to bring it up later.
