Okay folks- here's the second to last chapter of Hermione and Me. It's another short one, but hopefully the actual writing will make up for that. Oh and –dun, dun, dun! Time for another disclaimer. Actually, no, I'm not gonna bother. I mean, come on, what'll happen if I don't?
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ouch. Okay, a niece piece of advice for any of my fellow fanfic writers. Disclaim unless you want to be dismembered. Painfully.
Yours,
Hermione Double.
PS, after you've r & rd this, why not check out AbsoluteNutters? It's the best way to numb the pain from your missing limbs.
Unfortunately, Fred and George haven't even begun developing any of those fizzy drinks for disastrous daters, so I'll just have to be as cool as possible tomorrow. It's not that hard. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I might as well eat Bobotuber puss for all the good it'll do.
Even Harry didn't have any decent advice. Pig brought his reply before, just as I got back from playing Quidditch over on the field (which was absolute hell- Fred and George were throwing me hints, and I was catching them better than the bloody Quaffle.) If that isn't bad enough, my brothers have absolutely no understanding of the word subtle, and she was watching. Honestly, I just felt like throwing myself off my broom. Anyway, as I said, Harry's letter was absolutely no help whatsoever:
Ron,
Thanks for the hugely complimentary letter you sent. Yes, I did notice the amazing (and rather amusing) way you repel girls, (perhaps Malfoy jinxed you when you weren't watching,) and I think it's probably rubbing off on me, but to tell the truth, I don't really care after all that crap with Cho. I've finally realised that girls aren't all they're cracked up to be.
But, as you asked me rather than Hermione for advice, and you're worrying about this while we're on holiday I'm beginning to think that a certain Miss Granger may mean more to you than you let on. In fact, I've had suspicions for a while ever, since the Yule Ball, and you went crazy when she turned up with Krum.
'So everyone knows!' I thought. And I never went crazy at Krum! It's his own fault for being such a complete and utter git. I can't say he hasn't got good taste though.
If you want to go out with her, go and ask and stop complaining to me. I'm crap at this kind of stuff- I'm still waiting for Hermione to publish "translating mad things girls say so boys can understand them."
Ron, please just GOAND ASK HER! She probably fancies you. But if she doesn't, don't blame me, I've already said that the mystery of girls, is, indeed, a mystery. See you soon,
Harry.
How- illuminating.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
Ow. I recommend you don't bang your head on the desk when you're frustrated- it kind of hurts.
Oh hell, there's someone at the door. They'd better be armed with a headache cure.
And so enters the only person that can make my own situation any worse (or any better for that matter). Hermione bloody Granger.
And suddenly, my head feels a lot better.
'Have you done any more on that Potions assignment?'
No I bloody well have not.
'A bit,' HA! I don't give a damn about Potions. Unless it was a potion to make someone attracted to you, when you know full well they bloody well aren't.
'Right, well, shall we go for a walk now then?' Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap, bloody crap. Nuurgh! Er, what am I going to do? Well, I suppose I should answer.
'Er, if you want-'
'Come on then.'
I have the weirdest feeling that I am being led to a rather horrific, not to mention painful, death.
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE????
