Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to their creators at NBC. I don't own 'Don't let me get me' By Pink either.
 
 
 
 
 
The knife is glinting on the table in the apartment I share with my wife. I can see it glinting in the streetlight from outside through my tears. These are tears of hurt and sadness and knowledge. The knowledge that I will, inevitably, end up alone. I know my wife wont stay with me forever. I know my friends will gradually get life's of their own and move away to start the family of their own. I cant compete with the happiness that they will get from that. Hell, I can compete with anything these days. Im getting phased out and I know it. The gang have started to go places without asking me if I wasn't to go if im not there when they decide it. Even my own wife is avoiding me.
 
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I Can't take the person staring back at me
 
 
I reach down to pick up the knife, hoping to rid myself of these thoughts and to exchange my sever emotional pain for extreme physical pain. I have locked the door, that'll be a shock for anyone wanting to come in. the door hasn't been locked since that Thanksgiving years ago when we were all locked out and the dinner was ruined. The whole day was ruined, for everyone except me of course, who has always considered that day ruined, ever since my father chose to abandon me for good, deciding that I was just too much for him to take. Hell I don't blame him. even I think that most of the time. I whine constantly, and the times that im not whining im making fun and sometimes even insulting my friends. In fact I don't blame them if they choose to abandon me as well, if I had the chance I would abandon myself. 
 
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself,
 
 
So now I have chosen to do it. To rid myself of every little thing that upsets me. There wont be many tears shed over my death, Ross and Rachel have little Emma to care for, why should they even notice if I'm gone? They didn't really care when I said I had to move to Tulsa so why should this be any different? I hate that job too. I have no respect there, no-one really knows who I am and everyone makes fun of me. I'm sent away to a different state every week to be with more people I don't know and who will act the same way to me. 
 
Don't want to be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
 
 
But what about Monica? Yeah; what about her? Seriously, she doesn't care about me, if she did she wouldn't be fucking with my best friend. Well the man who I thought and considered as my best friend. He was like a brother to me, we always had so much fun and I thought that even at the end of the day, if everyone else had gone he would still be there for me, doing all that he could to keep me happy. But no. as soon as im guaranteed to be gone for four days a week they hop in to bed together. Well I just hope they're happy together.
 
I wanna be somebody else
 
Actually I don't. I don't hope that any of them are happy. I hope they realise how miserable it is without me. I hope they're all wretched with the idea that they were the only people who could have saved me and couldn't do that. I hope they all fail in their life's work and never amount to anything. 
 
So doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe me something?
A day in the life of someone else
 
 
All I ever wanted in life was to be loved. I should have known that it was never meant to be. Why should anyone love me? Im sarcastic, I moan about everything. I grew up in a rich, thriving community. I was promised a great lifestyle. I never had problems with money and even if I felt that no-one cared about me the truth was that there was always someone there. Even if they didn't help they were still there. But I had to whine and complain just because my dad decided that it would be better for him to go live in Vegas with his boyfriend. I was selfish wanting them to stay together. They wouldn't have been happy.
 
Cause I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
 
I place the edge of the blade against my skin, a ghost of a smile crossing across my lips as I feel the coldness of the metal, the sharpness of the blade. I ran it sharply but smoothly over my skin, not even wincing when it tore open my flesh and not grimacing when I saw the blood begin to ooze out. I smiled though. I smiled as I smelt the coppery tang of my life fluid. I bent my head down to taste it and somehow felt a world better when my tongue flicked in to the bright red liquid seeping though my skin, as I tasted its metallic flavour everything seemed ok. but I knew that in reality it wasn't.
 
I'm my own worst enemy
 
 
I savoured the pain and the taste, smell and sight every time I ran the cold blade against my skin. I wanted there to be a lot of blood, so that when they found me they knew for sure that I was dead, a part of me also wanted there to be a mess, to drive me 'ever-loving' wife crazy. Blood was a hard thing to remove when it stained, even from hard wood floors. 
 
I Wanna be somebody else
 
 
I was shaking hard by the time I had run out of room on my arms. I laughed slightly as my eyes roamed down to my wrist. The blue veins clearly showing, begging to be sliced. I could imagine it now; the glistening fluid flowing freely from the wound with out any sign of stopping until there was no more blood to be shed. By then my life, my pain and my worries would be well gone. I would probably come back in life as something worse but right then I didn't care.
 
Its bad when you annoy yourself
 
I put the knife to the first wrist and nicked the surface before slashing right across it.
 
I heard someone try to open the door and a confused mumbling before keys were retrieved and the door opened. I looked right in to the face of my wife and Phoebe. Of course Phoebe! Why hadn't I thought of here yet? What would her reaction have been? Telling Monica to forget all about me because she knew, she KNEW what I knew, that I was no good and no-one should worry about me.
 
'Chandler!' Monica gasped as she saw that sate I was in. tears streamed freely over my flushed face still, blood dripping, oozing and in some cases gushing from the wounds I had inflicted on myself. I wondered for a moment if she was more worried about her floors or me taking my own life. My knees gave way as I slashed open the other wrist and I fell to the floor. Monica ran over to me and the look I saw in her eyes gave me the first feeling of regret I had all throughout. She did seem genually worried about me. I shrugged it aside and awaited for death as my eyes flickered closed. 
 
The last sound I took with me to the afterlife was my wife's hysterical sobbing. Oh well. She'd know exactly why in the note I had left on the table. I had smeared that with blood too.
 
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself,
So irritating
Don't want to be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
 
 
 
 
 
 
I awoke with a start. Had it all been a dream? I looked down at my arms and saw there were no cuts there, just my gorgeous wife sleep and looking so peaceful I couldn't help but smile. My smile quickly vanished as I recalled the dream. It was the ninth one in the last two months. I knew that I really felt that way. Ok so the details of how and why I killed myself changed some times but the feeling was always there, the feeling of utter despair, desolation and hopelessness hung around me constantly. I knew that I would be driven to taking my life if something wasn't done soon.
 
 
Ok so this is part one. There will be a follow-up soon, more soon then any of the others because im in this kind of mood right now. Its ok I wont be doing any of this but I still feel the same. Please leave a review, you never know it might brighten up my day. Happy new year.