I Forgot to Tell You: Crystal Baller
By Seabreeze
A/N: This is the last chapter, though I will do an epilogue if asked (epilogue is the right word, right?). Anyways, the ending will not satisfy people, but if you listen to the song and the lyrics to the song. . . * giggles insanely * Angsty chapter, folks. I'm so proud now that I actually know what 'angst' means. If part of this sounds familiar, it's because I unknowingly (but subconsciously) wrote it to a scene from Rurouni Kenshin.
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha.. Third Eye Blind owns the amazing song "Crystal Baller". I. Worship. Them. Almost as much as I do Inuyasha. But nothing ever comes close to that, now does it?
*~*~*
I wonder what the whole thing's for. . .
I dream of lives we could have had before
*~*~*
When Inuyasha and I finally arrived at Sango and Miroku's, I wasn't ready for the whole thing to be over. This was probably the last time I'd ever have with Inuyasha. At that moment I hated Kikyo with everything inside me, and loved Inuyasha with the same. I knew that I had tears streaming down my face but I really didn't care.
Sango, Miroku, and Shippo greeted us as we came. The mood was so somber that not even Shippo called out like he usually would. For a minute, no one moved and I thought hopefully that time had frozen so I could stay with Inuyasha, in his arms just for a little bit longer. But then Sango held out her hand and the shikon no tama, and Inuyasha slowly and carefully set me down. I walked hesitantly away from Inuyasha and took the jewel from Sango. Taking out the little chip, I put it in its place and held the entire thing tightly between my hands. With a warm and tingly feeling, the jewel was finally whole.
A powerful heat rushed through my body, and I somehow felt powerful and enlightened. But it really didn't matter, so I pocketed the jewel. Sango took my broken arm gently.
"What happened?" she asked. Inuyasha took a few steps closer.
"A demon attacked us," he said. She looked at me.
"Did it do this to you?" she asked. I laughed, but it was absurd and out of place.
"No. This happened when I was trying to get away from it and fell out of a tree." I said. Miroku came up to stand behind Sango.
"Looks to me like Inuyasha has not taken care of Kagome very well." He said harshly. Inuyasha's eyes flashed, but he said nothing. "Why would a demon attack you?" Miroku asked. I looked away from Inuyasha.
"Kikyo sent it." He reluctantly and ashamedly said. Miroku snorted bitterly, stepping protectively in front of Sango and me.
"Unfortunately, Inuyasha, I cannot allow you to endanger my home any longer. I would appreciate it if you would leave." His voice was unnaturally harsh and angry. Sango put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Miroku. . ." she said softly. Inuyasha glared at his former friend.
"I thought you would know that I would never endanger my friends, Miroku-"
"Friends?!? Friends? We are not "friends", Inuyasha, you had decided this when you chose Kikyo. You decided to disown us, disown even Kagome! Look what you have done to her! She is only a girl, and stuck in a time 500 years behind her own! Now would you kindly LEAVE." I gaped at Sango and Shippo, and them at me. We had never seen Miroku so angry. He sighed, relaxing. "I am sorry, Inuyasha. But you cannot leave for as long as you did and show up expecting a friendly reunion. Especially considering the great hurt you have caused." That sounded more like Miroku- calm, controlled, sensible. Inuyasha was silent for a moment.
"You're right, Miroku. I am sorry for my choice and the pain I caused, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't expect forgiveness or anything, and I will leave after I get to spend some time with Kagome." He looked not at Miroku now, but me. I sat with my mouth open until Sango elbowed me.
"I. . . um. . . sure?" I squeaked, unable to wrap my brain around it. Then Sango gently ushered me forward towards Inuyasha. I went to him, and we began to walk away.
"Be careful, Kagome." Miroku called after me. Inuyasha and I turned around as Sango hit him.
"Leave Inuyasha alone, Miroku! You know he will protect her." Sango said in a hushed tone. Miroku frowned at her.
"Why are you so sure?" he asked. We were no longer a part of the conversation. We turned and began walking away again, but I couldn't help but hear Sango's answer. Knowing Inuyasha's hearing, he couldn't have missed it either.
"Because he still loves her! Can't you tell?!"
We didn't hear Miroku's answer, probably because we didn't want to hear more. Once we had gotten far enough away not to hear or see Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha began talking.
"Kagome. . . I've missed you." He had never been so candid with me.
"I missed you too," I said slowly. We were quiet for a while.
"Kagome-!" he burst out. I looked at him. "I made a mistake!" he was breathing heavily.
"Hm?" I asked, confused. Inuyasha turned to me and grabbed my hand.
"In. . . choosing Kikyo." He was struggling and gripping my hand tightly. I was shocked and unsure of what to say.
"Inuyasha. . ."
"No. . . Kagome. . . it should've been you all along, and I knew that. . .but, Kagome, you don't understand what it's like to be. . . to be. . . Kikyo was my first. . . my first. . . and I can't NOT be with her, I can't explain it, I just can't. . ."
"Loyalty." I said. Inuyasha looked at me, confused. "You're half-dog demon." I explained. "Dogs are known for loyalty, Inuyasha. Man's best friend. Didn't you know that?" he looked down and didn't answer.
"Kagome." He said softly. He pulled my hand close to himself, and in doing so pulled me closer. "If I had been free to choose, I would have chosen you. I wanted to choose you, I needed to choose you. But Kikyo needed me. And I was with her first, so I owed it to her. . ." He was staring guiltily but determinedly into my eyes. I had begun to lose my will to show no pain to him. I began crying silently.
"You owed it to me, too," I choked. "and just because she was first I get stuck here in this stupid time without my family or my home or you!" I turned violently away from him.
"Kagome. . ." his voice was full of regret. I interrupted him angrily.
"No, Inuyasha! Don't you 'Kagome' me! I don't care if you wish you had picked me instead, because you chose Kikyo and you will go back to her. Don't give me all of this crap when I know I'm never going to see you again!" I fell clumsily to my knees and broke down completely. "Don't tell me all these things when I know that inevitably she'll drag you down to hell. THAT is what I can't forgive, Inuyasha, you choosing the girl who wants to drag you to hell. Lead me on and make me believe we're friends, and then maybe even more, and then leave me, fine. But don't make me watch her drag you to hell. Go away, Inuyasha, please don't make me do this. . ." my head hung down and I sobbed, and I heard Inuyasha move to stand above me.
"Kagome. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, all of it. I never wanted this to happen to you. I also wanted to thank you, Kagome. . . you made me happy just by being there, and you gave me strength. Nobody but you could've done that. I wish there was a way that Kikyo could forgive me and go where she belongs, but that won't happen." He was on his knees too, and he grabbed my wrists, forcing me to look at him. "I want to be with YOU, Kagome." He pulled me closer. I just began sobbing harder.
"You know what else, Inuyasha? I swore that I'd always be by your side forever. But you won't let me do that."
Inuyasha hugged me fiercely, and didn't let go for quite a while. Then he pulled away a bit, so his face was barely touching mine.
"Say the word, Kagome." He was whispering and intense. "Say the word and I'll forget Kikyo ever existed." But what he offered me I had to refuse. I shoved him away.
"Inuyasha, you have already chosen!" I yelled. He squeezed me once more and got up.
"Then I will return to Kikyo. I will miss you, Kagome." He kissed my forehead with gentleness I wasn't aware that he had, and was gone.
*~*~*
Can we try and take the high road
though we don't know where it ends
I want to be your Crystal Baller
I want to show you how it ends
Can we talk about tomorrow and the promise that it brings
I wonder where we're all going
I'm homesick for your primal knowing
I wonder why the wind keeps blowing
you through my mind
*~*~*
A/N: Ack, no tomatoes. I know that's a terrible ending, but there's going to be a sequel. I'm not sure if I'll post it under "I Forgot to Tell You" or something else. But promise me you'll all check it out ;) Arigato, merci, and thank you.
By Seabreeze
A/N: This is the last chapter, though I will do an epilogue if asked (epilogue is the right word, right?). Anyways, the ending will not satisfy people, but if you listen to the song and the lyrics to the song. . . * giggles insanely * Angsty chapter, folks. I'm so proud now that I actually know what 'angst' means. If part of this sounds familiar, it's because I unknowingly (but subconsciously) wrote it to a scene from Rurouni Kenshin.
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha.. Third Eye Blind owns the amazing song "Crystal Baller". I. Worship. Them. Almost as much as I do Inuyasha. But nothing ever comes close to that, now does it?
*~*~*
I wonder what the whole thing's for. . .
I dream of lives we could have had before
*~*~*
When Inuyasha and I finally arrived at Sango and Miroku's, I wasn't ready for the whole thing to be over. This was probably the last time I'd ever have with Inuyasha. At that moment I hated Kikyo with everything inside me, and loved Inuyasha with the same. I knew that I had tears streaming down my face but I really didn't care.
Sango, Miroku, and Shippo greeted us as we came. The mood was so somber that not even Shippo called out like he usually would. For a minute, no one moved and I thought hopefully that time had frozen so I could stay with Inuyasha, in his arms just for a little bit longer. But then Sango held out her hand and the shikon no tama, and Inuyasha slowly and carefully set me down. I walked hesitantly away from Inuyasha and took the jewel from Sango. Taking out the little chip, I put it in its place and held the entire thing tightly between my hands. With a warm and tingly feeling, the jewel was finally whole.
A powerful heat rushed through my body, and I somehow felt powerful and enlightened. But it really didn't matter, so I pocketed the jewel. Sango took my broken arm gently.
"What happened?" she asked. Inuyasha took a few steps closer.
"A demon attacked us," he said. She looked at me.
"Did it do this to you?" she asked. I laughed, but it was absurd and out of place.
"No. This happened when I was trying to get away from it and fell out of a tree." I said. Miroku came up to stand behind Sango.
"Looks to me like Inuyasha has not taken care of Kagome very well." He said harshly. Inuyasha's eyes flashed, but he said nothing. "Why would a demon attack you?" Miroku asked. I looked away from Inuyasha.
"Kikyo sent it." He reluctantly and ashamedly said. Miroku snorted bitterly, stepping protectively in front of Sango and me.
"Unfortunately, Inuyasha, I cannot allow you to endanger my home any longer. I would appreciate it if you would leave." His voice was unnaturally harsh and angry. Sango put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Miroku. . ." she said softly. Inuyasha glared at his former friend.
"I thought you would know that I would never endanger my friends, Miroku-"
"Friends?!? Friends? We are not "friends", Inuyasha, you had decided this when you chose Kikyo. You decided to disown us, disown even Kagome! Look what you have done to her! She is only a girl, and stuck in a time 500 years behind her own! Now would you kindly LEAVE." I gaped at Sango and Shippo, and them at me. We had never seen Miroku so angry. He sighed, relaxing. "I am sorry, Inuyasha. But you cannot leave for as long as you did and show up expecting a friendly reunion. Especially considering the great hurt you have caused." That sounded more like Miroku- calm, controlled, sensible. Inuyasha was silent for a moment.
"You're right, Miroku. I am sorry for my choice and the pain I caused, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't expect forgiveness or anything, and I will leave after I get to spend some time with Kagome." He looked not at Miroku now, but me. I sat with my mouth open until Sango elbowed me.
"I. . . um. . . sure?" I squeaked, unable to wrap my brain around it. Then Sango gently ushered me forward towards Inuyasha. I went to him, and we began to walk away.
"Be careful, Kagome." Miroku called after me. Inuyasha and I turned around as Sango hit him.
"Leave Inuyasha alone, Miroku! You know he will protect her." Sango said in a hushed tone. Miroku frowned at her.
"Why are you so sure?" he asked. We were no longer a part of the conversation. We turned and began walking away again, but I couldn't help but hear Sango's answer. Knowing Inuyasha's hearing, he couldn't have missed it either.
"Because he still loves her! Can't you tell?!"
We didn't hear Miroku's answer, probably because we didn't want to hear more. Once we had gotten far enough away not to hear or see Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha began talking.
"Kagome. . . I've missed you." He had never been so candid with me.
"I missed you too," I said slowly. We were quiet for a while.
"Kagome-!" he burst out. I looked at him. "I made a mistake!" he was breathing heavily.
"Hm?" I asked, confused. Inuyasha turned to me and grabbed my hand.
"In. . . choosing Kikyo." He was struggling and gripping my hand tightly. I was shocked and unsure of what to say.
"Inuyasha. . ."
"No. . . Kagome. . . it should've been you all along, and I knew that. . .but, Kagome, you don't understand what it's like to be. . . to be. . . Kikyo was my first. . . my first. . . and I can't NOT be with her, I can't explain it, I just can't. . ."
"Loyalty." I said. Inuyasha looked at me, confused. "You're half-dog demon." I explained. "Dogs are known for loyalty, Inuyasha. Man's best friend. Didn't you know that?" he looked down and didn't answer.
"Kagome." He said softly. He pulled my hand close to himself, and in doing so pulled me closer. "If I had been free to choose, I would have chosen you. I wanted to choose you, I needed to choose you. But Kikyo needed me. And I was with her first, so I owed it to her. . ." He was staring guiltily but determinedly into my eyes. I had begun to lose my will to show no pain to him. I began crying silently.
"You owed it to me, too," I choked. "and just because she was first I get stuck here in this stupid time without my family or my home or you!" I turned violently away from him.
"Kagome. . ." his voice was full of regret. I interrupted him angrily.
"No, Inuyasha! Don't you 'Kagome' me! I don't care if you wish you had picked me instead, because you chose Kikyo and you will go back to her. Don't give me all of this crap when I know I'm never going to see you again!" I fell clumsily to my knees and broke down completely. "Don't tell me all these things when I know that inevitably she'll drag you down to hell. THAT is what I can't forgive, Inuyasha, you choosing the girl who wants to drag you to hell. Lead me on and make me believe we're friends, and then maybe even more, and then leave me, fine. But don't make me watch her drag you to hell. Go away, Inuyasha, please don't make me do this. . ." my head hung down and I sobbed, and I heard Inuyasha move to stand above me.
"Kagome. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, all of it. I never wanted this to happen to you. I also wanted to thank you, Kagome. . . you made me happy just by being there, and you gave me strength. Nobody but you could've done that. I wish there was a way that Kikyo could forgive me and go where she belongs, but that won't happen." He was on his knees too, and he grabbed my wrists, forcing me to look at him. "I want to be with YOU, Kagome." He pulled me closer. I just began sobbing harder.
"You know what else, Inuyasha? I swore that I'd always be by your side forever. But you won't let me do that."
Inuyasha hugged me fiercely, and didn't let go for quite a while. Then he pulled away a bit, so his face was barely touching mine.
"Say the word, Kagome." He was whispering and intense. "Say the word and I'll forget Kikyo ever existed." But what he offered me I had to refuse. I shoved him away.
"Inuyasha, you have already chosen!" I yelled. He squeezed me once more and got up.
"Then I will return to Kikyo. I will miss you, Kagome." He kissed my forehead with gentleness I wasn't aware that he had, and was gone.
*~*~*
Can we try and take the high road
though we don't know where it ends
I want to be your Crystal Baller
I want to show you how it ends
Can we talk about tomorrow and the promise that it brings
I wonder where we're all going
I'm homesick for your primal knowing
I wonder why the wind keeps blowing
you through my mind
*~*~*
A/N: Ack, no tomatoes. I know that's a terrible ending, but there's going to be a sequel. I'm not sure if I'll post it under "I Forgot to Tell You" or something else. But promise me you'll all check it out ;) Arigato, merci, and thank you.
