Ok this is really annoying because some of these lines are meant to be in italic font but when I upload the chapter they just stay the same and it really confuses people.

This chapter is the switches from peoples point of view and is still confusing but everything is explained in the next one I PROMISE!!!! *Crosses heart*

'Monica! I thought you were dead!' I yelled. I wasn't angry, I was scared. Monica had come rushing to the hospital as soon as Joey called her. She had genuinely been upset and not, as I had believed, hurt at all. I had asked Joey to leave us alone for a moment while I talked to Monica about why I did it. She hadn't seemed to respond when we were in the hospital, probably thinking it was something I said because of the effect of the pills I had taken.

But now, in the cold light of day after I was discharged and we were alone in our apartment, she didn't seem to buy it.

'There was no reason for you think I was dead Chandler!' She cried. I could tell she was through being patient with me and needed to know why I was doing these things. I suppose I couldn't blame her, I felt the same way. I didn't want to be this way, seeing and hearing these strange things that effected me so badly.

'Monica I know it was stupid, I wasn't thinking. I saw you there, I didn't know what to think.' I tried to reason, tried to make her see that I wasn't entirely to blame. That was a hard thing to do when I thought I was to blame myself.

'What is wrong with you lately? You start to have a mid-life crisis in the middle of the night, you write a suicide note and pretend not to know anything about it, you freak out about imaginary scars and dead people. I don't even know what to do with you any more.' She yelled. With each sentence my heart felt heavier. I was acting like an idiot and in the process I was losing her.

'Monica.' I whispered as she turned her back on me. 'Please honey, I don't know what's happening. I really cant control all of this. Please, I need help.' I pleaded. Monica turned around to face me. I held out my arms to her and she accepted them and we stood there in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like an age.

'Guys? Are you in? Was want to see how Chandler is.' I heard Ross' voice through the door. I could hear the others wondering aloud why the door was locked.

I didn't want them to be with us, I wanted this to be about just me and Monica. Something took over me and I wanted this to go my way.

Before Monica could answer I forced my hand on her mouth and dragged her to the bedroom.

'Chandler? What the hell are you doing?' She asked me incredulously as I let her go.

'Shh'  I hushed. I had reached a limit I didn't know existed, I was sick and tired of having to live my relationship with Monica around our friends. Ross giving me those evil stares if I ever did anything, even the tiniest thing, to upset Monica. No-ones perfect and we all end up hurting someone some of the time. Rachel and Phoebe always telling Monica how she can do better and Joey telling me the same in his own way wasn't doing much for my confidence.

'Chandler, seriously let me go.' Monica warned as I held on to her arm to prevent her from leaving.

'I want it to be just us two, forever.' I hissed. I could feel it again, something had taken over my consciousness, I couldn't stop it and within a flash I couldn't even see it anymore. I had gone to another place again, a place which I didn't like. I place that my dreams usually took me to.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Monica's POV)

His eyes were glazed over. I noticed that first when I looked at him. For the first time since I knew him I was scared to be with him.

His hand was still clamped over my mouth and somehow he seemed stronger then me. He was whispering sweet words to me in my ear but for once they didn't seem sweet to me. His whole body language had changed and it didn't feel like it was Chandler any more.

'I love you Monica.' He whispered. 'Let me show you how much.' And he led me over to the bed.

His touch was warm and loving but unwanted. I tried to tell him. He wasn't well and I didn't feel comfortable with him touching me when he was like this. I tried to pull away or convince him otherwise but nothing would deter him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Chandlers' POV)

I woke up in the middle of the night again, but this time it wasn't to a nightmare. I lay in bed with my eyes closed, listening to the snuffled breathing of my wife next to me and the sound of the traffic outside.

'Look what you've done to her.' My eyes snapped open. The voice wasn't my wife's. I looked around the room. No-one was the except me and Monica. As my eyes fell on her my heart skipped a beat. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks stained by tears. Clothes lay in a tattered heap on the floor and neither of us were wearing clothes.

What had I done? I couldn't remember anything.

 'You're sick Chandler.' The voice said. 'You raped your own wife!'

'No.' I whispered disbelievingly.

'Oh but you did. She tried to stop you. You know why? Coz she doesn't love you.'

'She does.'  I spoke confidentially. I sounded more sure then I really was. 

'You forced her in to this room and demanded she stayed. You tried to kill yourself and that made her think you don't care about her no more. I mean, com on! You fantasised about her dieing and threatened her with a suicide note. Some loving husband you are.' I shook my head not wanted to hear.

'I didn't mean it!' I yelled. I felt Monica stir next to me but it went unnoticed.

'You don't have a job any more. You're not good enough for her, you never have and you never will be.' The voice hissed. I help up my hands to my ears, not wanting it to continue.

'Shut up!' I screamed.

'Chandler?'

'SHUT UP!'

'And as if your friends care about you any more. All they did was come to visit you after you scared the hell out of Joey and tried to end your life and you refused to see them, they wont want to know you now Chandler.'

'NO!'

'Chandler? What's wrong?'

'Leave me alone!'

'Your parents didn't care about you enough to visit you did they? You tried to kill yourself and everything and they didn't even bother to call. You must have been a really good boy to deserve that.' The voice laughed. I cried out and attempted to stand up but my legs were shaking too bad.

'Chandler? Baby tell me what's wrong.'

'Stop them!' I begged. I hadn't heard Monica talk at first but when she reached out and touched my arm I looked down at her on the bed. 'Please Monica.' I whispered desperately. 'Please make them stop.'

'Make who stop? Sweetie I don't understand.'

'See? She wont even help you.'

'Monica.' I shuddered. A wave of nausea quickly swept over me, followed by exhaustion. I leant my head against Monicas shoulder as she sat up level with me. My eyelids drooped and suddenly I was carried of to solitude in my dreams.