'They seemed to take that rather well.' Rachel said to me as we walked back to our apartments. I sighed.

'Yeah right, it could have gone worse, they could have-' I was cut off from a yell coming from my apartment. Without question Rachel and I ran in, and gasped at what we had walked in on.

Chandler had been startled and began to panic. He was still holding the knife in his hand and when he heard us come in he grabbed Joey who was standing in front of him. he held the knife to Joey's throat and turned him around so that his back was against Chandler's chest.

'Chandler! what are you doing?' I gasped. I should have known it wasn't good to leave him on his own.

'You cant take him away from me Monica!' He yelled at me.

'Chandler, I'm not going anywhere.' Joey said, trying his best not to struggle against the knife, that would only upset Chandler and make him more aggressive.

'I love Joey! He's my best friend, someone's going to take him away from me and I don't want them to! Too many people have been taken away from me and I wont let it happen this time. If I cant have him then no-one else will. That goes for you too Monica, but I know your not going to leave me.' He shouted.

'Chandler, baby, just calm down.' I said, trying my best to try and calm him down. 'No-ones going to take him, you know that.' I looked in to his eyes and saw once more that they were glazed over, he wasn't himself again, this was just another episode. That thought wasn't comforting as I knew by now that he could do anything when he was having an episode.

'I thought that before and look what happened. They said my parents were going to be fine, they said that my cousin was going to be fine! They said… they said.' Chandler trailed off, his eyes were drooping and his arm holding up the knife to Joey's throat was weakening. His grip on Joey was loosening and his knees were bending.

'Chandler?' Rachel called nervously, she could see as well what was happening, Chandler didn't look good. He was leaning entirely on Joey now until his hand lost all feeling and the knife dropped to the floor, narrowly missing both of their feet.

'Don't… don't let them take… let them take me.' Chandler whispered as he completely lost all energy and feeling and dropped heavily to the floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The boy lay on the cold, starched bed, his thoughts consuming him, taking him deeper and deeper in to his subconscious. They had fed him on sedation drugs until he was subdued and now he could hardly move a muscle. He had tried his best but he needed help, and there was no-one in his life that was willing to give it. 

A young girl walked in to the room, she was alone with him and shut the door to keep it that way. She walked over to the bed and pulled up chair to sit next to him. The sounds were magnified as it was so quiet. But still the boy didn't even notice. The drugs had made him oblivious to sounds and he couldn't even open his eyes to look if he did hear something. She listened to his breathing. Gently in and soundlessly out. He didn't move, not even a twitch. It was unnatural and it made the girl scared. She felt she was the only one who cared for this boy but her opinion or suggestions didn't matter and no-one paid attention, even though it would have saved him from… this.

She sat there in absolute silence for an hour, just watching him breath in and out. She couldn't tell if he was asleep, but she knew it didn't matter. The boy was out of his mind, he needed the help only his family could give, but he had no family, no family that cared for him anyway. So instead they had sent him here, to a place where they certainly didn't care about him, just wanted to get their money by feeding him drugs and making sure he could hurt anyone anymore,

The girl had to wonder if this really was a solution, after all what would happen to him in the long run. These drugs would sedate him now but when he was released he would still be bothered by these 'episodes' he had been having. The girl knew that he wasn't really a danger, it was just his subconscious screaming out, trying to release all the torment and anger and terror that the world had forced upon him. 

But this couldn't be good, holding him down to stop him from expressing these feelings, keeping them bottled up inside. It would be worse for him later on. They would break out again and more people, maybe even people he cared about, could be hurt next time.

The boy could sense her next to him; he could feel small warm breaths near his hand. He didn't know who it was, whether or not it was a good person or a bad person. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids were too heavy and he was exhausted, although he hadn't moved in ages. He used all the strength he possessed and his eyelids fluttered open. The vision was hazy and he still couldn't make out the person.

The girl saw his eyes open and remained still, she didn't want to worry him. It seemed that she was the only one who understood what was happening to him and how to treat him.

His vision cleared and he made out the shape of the girl, instantly relieved when he realised who it was and knew that she was no threat.

'Hey sweetie.' She whispered. The message came through fuzzy but he made it out and tried to smile at her. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Chandlers' POV)

My head was hurting. Although my vision was blurry I could tell I was in the living room. I could also tell there was other people in the room. But I couldn't tell what I had done.

I blinked a few times and my vision became unblurred. Monica was kneeling on the floor by the couch that I was lying on and Rachel was on the coffee table. I sighed heavily as the last wave of queasiness  the conscious dream vanished. 

I knew something bad had happened, I had done it again. I groaned as it sat up, knowing that they would send me away again. I didn't want to go back to that place, I didn't want to back on the drugs and have to lay in that cold bed all day. I didn't want the nurses shoving sharp needles in my arms again. Not again.

'Chandler?' Monica whispered. I wouldn't look at her, I had done something bad, she was bound to be mad at me. I felt really bad, to disappoint Monica like that. 'Chandler, sweetie.' She said, placing her hand on my cheek, gently pulling my face up so that I was looking at her. I tried to block out my thoughts.

'Look what you've done.'

But I didn't do anything, I thought.

'Look at Joey, look at what you've done.'

I slowly turned to face Joey, not wanting to know what I had done. He looked ok, a bit shook up. But there was a red mark on his neck, sort of if someone had ripped a necklace off him, leaving a mark. But I knew it had to be more then that.

'You tried to hurt him!' The voice spat at me.

'I didn't mean to.' I whispered.

'What was that?' Monica asked.

'You were trying to kill him! how could you 'not mean' to do that?'

'I didn't mean to!' I said in a strangled voice.

'Chandler? Didn't meant to do-'

'But you were trying to kill him!'

'I didn't mean to!' I yelled. I stopped as I realised the others didn't know who I was shouting at. It was happening again.

I turned and looked at Monica, who was shocked to say the least. 'What am I going o do?' I asked desperately. She took me in to her arms and held me against her chest, like a mother comforting her child.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For the rest of that day, and all through the night I sat on the window seat, looking out at the balcony, just staring. I ignored everyone and their attempts to try and talk to me. If I didn't move then I could hurt anyone. I managed to block out everything except the thing that I wanted to most. That voice, the one telling me that I wasn't good enough. I knew what it meant and I didn't want it to happen again, not after last time.

I thought I faintly heard my mothers voice but I blocked it out, just like everything else.

Hey, sorry that took long and makes you think about a lot more questions but I have to keep you all interested somehow ;-) lol. Please leave a review. I know where im going with this again now so the next part will be up soon.