(Chandler's POV)
'Chandler sweetie?'
I ignored it. Just like everything else. Well almost everything.
'You think not hearing them is going to change anything?'
It means I cant hear if they hate me or not. I tried to reason with myself.
Well of course they hate you, they're all trying their best to help and your ignoring them!
'Chandler, your Moms here.'
I didn't want to speak to her.
I didn't want to speak to anyone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Monica's POV)
'He's been sitting there since last night, he didn't even sleep. I really don't know what to do.' I whispered to Nora. She just nodded. 'He mentioned earlier that it had happened once before, or something like that. And the psychiatrist already had a sort of file on him. What's going on?'
'It did happen before.' Nora said simply. She walked over to where Chandler was sitting, in exactly the same position as last night and reached her hand out to touch him. 'Chandler?' He turned his head away from her and leaned it against the glass, closing his eyes.
Nora sighed and turned to look back at me. 'Coffee?'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Chandler's POV)
'Why'd you turn away from her? She wanted to help you.'
Like they helped me before? Like they helped Kelly? I don't think so.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Monica's POV)
We were sitting at the kitchen table, Chandler still on the window seat. I had made us both coffee and Nora was telling me what she knew. She explained to me that Chandler had been like this as a child, moody and aggressive. She and Charles had agreed to take him to a psychiatrist, it just wasn't normal for a seven year old to act that way. He was given pills, but they didn't seem to work, he was still temperamental and attacked when anyone tried to yell at him. It all got worse after their divorce two years later.
People had suggest a place where they could study him, work out what was wrong and they treat him. Nora hadn't known what else to do, so she accepted it. She didn't know what they did to him in there.
When he came out at the age of twelve he was more withdrawn. He didn't eat much or want to do much, juts sat there in his room, maybe listening to music or reading. He wasn't temperamental anymore, far from it. He didn't even speak unless spoken to any more.
Nora wasn't sure if this was good or bad.
'Most people are mislead to believe that schizophrenia is a mental illness, like a split personality. But I was talking to my niece Nadia about it, she's a psychiatrist who specializes in that area, and she said that research has shown that it may actually be a brain disease, caused by the brain development when the person is still a foetus. That is when the brain is wired up; nerve cells grow and divide, building connections with each other. The basic flaw in the brains of many schizophrenics seems to be that certain nerve cells migrate to the wrong areas when the brain is first taking shape, leaving small regions of the brain permanently out of place or miswired. And that cam lead to the delusions and so forth of schizophrenia.' Nora explained.
I nodded. We sat in silence for a moment, just drinking our second cup of coffee. The silence was interrupted when Chandler stood up and walked over to our bedroom. He shut the door without even looking at us.
I took a shuddering breath and looked back at Nora. 'I really don't know what to do.'
Nora nodded. 'Well, like I said, my niece, Chandler's cousin, specialises in schizophrenia. I can call her and she can suggest what we could do.'
'She specialises in it?' I smiled. 'That's convenient.' Nora looked downcast.
'Not convenient, just related.' She stood up to take her cup over to the sink and emptied it, refilling it from the coffee pot.
'Related?'
'This isn't a good story.' She warned. I shook it off and asked her to continue. With a sigh Nora sat back down and began.
'Chandler wasn't the only one in our family with a mental disorder. His cousin Kelly also went to the place Chandler went to, so they could figure out what was wrong. She wasn't so lucky though. When she was sent home on the course of drugs like Chandler she went in to a pit of depression from which she never recovered. She was found by her sister in the kitchen with her wrists slashed.'
I gasped. This was horrible. Maybe that was what Chandler had meant when he said 'they said that my cousin was going to be fine!'
'That's why Nadia is specialising in schizophrenia. It was her sister who killed herself. She wanted to find out a way of helping people with this condition, she was in the treatment centre when they were both in there, she knew what they were doing. She has successfully treated people in the past few years, I think she's taking a few years off to do lectures and presentations on this treatment, but I know she'll be happy to at least tell us what we can do.'
My heart leapt. Since the suicide note, all that had happened from there, the delusions, the voices, threats and the danger that seemed to take place there had seemed to be no answer. Everything I did seemed to change nothing. But now there was a chance, even if it was a small one it was still a chance.
'When can you call her?' I asked, the desperation I was feeling clear in my tone. Nora smiled a reassuring smile at me.
'I can call right now if you want me to, she only lives in Jersey, she can be over here be this evening.'
I practically ran to the phone and gave it to her. I watched intently as she dialled the number.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Chandler's POV)
I had to get out the room. Even though I had tried to block out what they were saying it still heard some of it. They were talking about me. Something about what had happened before. About Nadia and the place I had to go to, the place which had filled me up on sedatives until I couldn't even open my eyes. Fear had struck me and I started to find it hard to breath.
I didn't want to go back to that place. I wouldn't let them take me back to that place. I would fight if I had to.
'What good would that do? They'll take you there anyway'No they wouldn't, they love me, they wouldn't force me. Would they?
'Of course they would. After all you did to them they'll be glad to get rid of you.'
I lay down on the bed a breathed heavily. They aren't going to take me there, They aren't going to take me there, They aren't going to take me there, They aren't going to take me there.
I started to say it aloud, trying my best to convince myself.
'Chandler?' Monica asked as she opened the door. She came in to the room, a little shocked to find me like this.
'They aren't going to take me there, They aren't going to take me there.'
'Baby?' She took another hesitant step towards me and my eyes snapped open, looking straight at her.
'Please don't take me there.' I pleaded. She smiled her wonderful smile at me and sat next to me on the bed.
'We're not taking you anywhere.' She promised me. 'Your Moms here, she's ringing your cousin Nadia. She's going to come and help you. In the way that you want to be helped. Is that ok?' She looked deep in to my eyes and I saw she wasn't lying. I sat up and clung on to her.
'Thankyou Monica.' I whispered with a shuddering breath. Tears started to fall from my moist eyes as I realise that Monica was going to help me, I should stop believing that voice. It wasn't true.
'There's no need to thank me baby.' She whispered in to my hair and held me close to her. We stayed like this for what seemed like ever. It wasn't until I heard Nadia's voice that I reluctantly let her go.
Heya, sorry it took so long, I had to get all of my coursework finished before I could do anything. And now that it's the Easter holidays I have more time to revise! Although I'll probably end up writing more of this :-S. I really should stop that lol. Anyway, I'm going to catch up with my revision now so please leave a review!!!
