DISCLAIMER: The usual applies (characters are not mine, no profit, etc). You didn't think I'd forget a disclaimer and let you sue me, did you? *raises eyebrow*
SUMMARY: Post 'Inside the Box'. Here's what COULD happen. ;)
A Sense of TimeBy Jane Moss
Time wasn't clearly defined. So, when Grissom opened his eyes, he couldn't be sure if it was day or night, if he'd been asleep for hours or days. As soon as he familiarised himself with consciousness, he looked around, slowly moving his sore neck. Something stopped him from making a full turn of his head as he tried to look for a window. He could see the faint glow of the city lights and knew that the sky must have indeed been dark. These days, the only darkness he had in sleep was from the artificial blinds at his window. He lived in darkness most of the time.
He looked in the other direction, trying to turn his head gently. Again, something prevented his from laying the side of his head flat on the pillow and he guessed it to be bandages.
SARA? What was she doing here? He immediately felt his blood speed up in his brief moment of panic. Even though his scope of vision prevented him from seeing her fully, he could make out her distinctively dark hair at his side. Her body was on a chair, while her head rested on his crisp hospital sheets, at his side. His brief gush of annoyance and may be even anger soon faded as he accepted that she did indeed find out and there was nothing he could do about it now. He wondered if Catherine told her willingly and couldn't help feeling somewhat betrayed by her. He didn't want Sara to see him like this. But she already has…
He took a deeper breath as his eyes scanned the ceiling. He went in at around 1pm and now it was dark. Were there any complications? DID IT WORK? He panicked when he realised that he hadn't heard a sound yet. He considered waking Sara, but decided against it as soon as it crossed his mind. She deserved to get some sleep. Bad news could always wait. It was his fault he'd waited so long to admit this to himself. He wished he could have mustered up the courage to tell her himself, instead of her having to find out from someone else. It seemed easier to tell Catherine first, because the more you care about a person the harder it is to tell them something so personal. Catherine was in charge of graveyard now. The knowledge was mandatory. She guessed it by then anyway. Had he avoided Sara to keep from giving her any clues? She would have no doubt figured it out sooner.
Her head shifted. He held his breath until she was still again. Okay, so it was the middle of the night. Wasn't she supposed to be at work? What was she doing here instead of handling the big case?
He had no real contact with most of his body as he made no attempt to move yet and his skin was somewhat numb from sleep. The position he was lying in was rapidly becoming uncomfortable and he lifted his feet closer up the mattress, so that his knees were bent. He let out a breath of satisfaction, before looking over at Sara who was shifting again. He lay as still as he could, but it was no use. Her eyes opened, first blank and unfocused, in a daze of sleep, then clear and tired. Should he pretend he was still asleep? May be she would go away? No, not Sara… too many questions. She looked up and slowly, without leaving his gaze, lifted herself off the pillow to look straight into his eyes. She didn't say anything. There was a red imprint from the sheets on one side of her face, but she didn't seem aware of it. He found it so hard to read her eyes, but they were expressive now seemed to be screaming with hurt and apprehension. That's just what he needed right now.
He looked away, trying to pretend he was admiring the blank hospital room. Faint. Very faint sound. He turned to her. Her lips moved and that distant echo came again. He could hear. The bandages were muffling the sounds, but he retained at least some hearing. At first glance, the operation seemed to be successful. Though if the lapses in hearing continued, it meant inevitable deafness someday.
"Yes, I can hear you, Sara, but very faintly," he answered, after reading her lips to reassure himself. His own voice sounded as if his ears were blocked.
When he thought she would question him further, Sara was content at staring, just for the time being. Feeling the need to clear some things from the thick air between them, Grissom spoke, "Aren't you working tonight?"
'Work. Trust him to avoid the meaningless subject', she thought sarcastically. "I'm off tonight" She wondered if he heard her and took it as a yes when he didn't question further.
"Did Catherine tell you?" His voice was cold. That hit a sensitive chord. He shared this with Catherine but not with her. He didn't want her to know. She was just another CSI to him. He noted the brief gush of emotion in her eyes before she cleared her voice to help it sound impersonal.
"Not willingly. She only gave me the hospital," she paused, trying to make her accent clearer for him, "I figured out the rest"
He tried to nod. His backside was so sore. He wouldn't be able to lie on his side, in fear of pressing down too hard on the bandages, so he remained in the uncomfortable position. Knowing himself, it would not take long for him to feel frustration over this.
Grissom felt her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry if…" she started, "If you didn't want me to find out…" Her words trailed off with a question mark.
"It's ok," he answered, with only a short pause.
She tried to smile, but couldn't. "Would you like some tea?" For a moment he looked puzzled. "TEA," she repeated, feeling awkward for raising her voice in seeming exaggeration.
There was a pause. His mouth was dry. "Sure"
She was gone only for a minute and as hard as he tried to gather his thoughts, it was futile. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Even if he didn't feel tired, he knew his body required rest after such complex surgery. He didn't hear much. Grissom opened one eye to see if she was back and found her sitting on her chair patiently with a cup in her hand.
"I'm going to lift up the bed a bit," she explained, as she reached behind his pillow and fumbled with a mechanism he couldn't see. Soon he was glad to be in a half sitting position and tried to move slightly on his side to alternate from lying on his numb back. He looked at her. Her eyes looked somewhat kinder, if he was not mistaken. She handed him the warm cup with a hint of a smile and he couldn't help but return it. Even if his hearing goes, at least he'd still have something left from their encounter here and now. As the warm liquid touched his lips, he realised he was glad for the company. Not just any company… but hers. Was this something worth voicing? He always kept things to himself, because he could never get them out right. Then again, sometimes more harm could be done by staying silent.
"I'm glad you're here"
She looked happy, but only inwardly. "I'm glad you're okay" They shared a moment, before breaking the eye contact.
After a longer silence, he spoke again. "Do you know where the lavatory is?" Although he didn't feel the need to get up, he knew that it was probably wise to empty his bladder.
"Ugh… yeah… can you get up?" She would have slapped herself for such a stupid question. He still felt somewhat numb and stiff, as he slowly and carefully rotated himself so that his legs hung down from the side of the bed. Sara stood close in case he needed support. "Do you have any slippers?" Sara said and went to look under the hospital bed. They got moved deep under the bed and she had to get on her knees to retrieve them. Grissom felt somewhat awkward, having Sara take care of him. She placed the slippers under his feet and looked up. Just as he was about to move off the bed, she halted his movements and quickly ran behind him to wheel the drip from the IV on his arm, so that it wouldn't get yanked as he moved to get up. He smiled again at her thoughtfulness. Who else would do this for him?
Wordlessly, she took his elbow, ready to support his weight, should he lose his balance. He could feel her warm arm very close to his skin. Grissom stood for a moment, getting used to it, before attempting to walk.
"Just take small steps" Her voice was less muffled by the bandages, when it was closer. They walked together slowly, almost awkwardly, as he tried his best to control his stiff muscles. With her free hand, Sara tugged at the drip, which squeaked on its wheels behind them. There was a faint light coming from the corridor. When they finally made it out the room, he could only see an empty corridor with a nurse at the desk, who looked up at them from a distance. He realised that most patients were asleep.
Grissom looked up at the disabled sign at the lavatory door. "Sara, I'm not…"
"It's closer… I know you're not," she looked at him with a hint of a smile in her eyes. "You're gonna be okay?"
"I'm fine," he offered one of his timid-looking smiles, before her entered the lavatory.
"Okay" Sara tried to distract herself with a clock, which was the only object adoring the blank hospital wall. She walked back and forth, softly stepping on the heels so that they won't make a sound. She looked down at the work outfit; she hadn't had a chance to change.
Grissom came out, almost modestly holding the opening at the back of his robe, as he pulled the drip from behind him. He seemed more comfortable walking, so Sara chose to only take his IV liquid for him, as they made it back to the bed. When he lay back down, he realised he was tired. Sara settled down on her chair.
"You should get some sleep," she touched his hand without thinking but refused to take it away, when he looked down at it. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and when she realised his hand was cooler than hers, she got up and raised the covers higher for him, only to find they were hardly warm. Remembering her bag, Sara reached down to it and retrieved her blanket, which after unfolding, she covered him with. Grissom could only admire her, as he could not find the words to tell her anything remotely appreciative of her care.
"Thank you," he offered as genuinely as he could.
"Get some sleep," she said softly. He could not hear it this time, but only nodded and once her hand found itself on his once more, Grissom closed his eyes. The anaesthetic was definitely wearing off, but it still put him to sleep in less than a minute. He enjoyed the feeling.
After watching him for several minutes, Sara leaned back in her chair and tried to escape her tired body.
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Tell me what you think and I'll post more! I just hope the REAL season 4 goes as well as this! LOL! (This story will definitely be finished!) – J.M.:)
