As You Were

Pt. II: Mnemosyne

"Mmmm…" Sydney murmured, letting her head rest against Sark's shoulder. "Look at all the pretty toys." Her eyes roamed lazily over the captives. She licked her lips and looked up at Sark. "Which one's mine?"

He gave her an indulgent smile. "Whichever one you want." He stroked her hair. "You are the birthday girl."

She let out a wild whoop of laughter which resounded throughout the operations center and sent chills through Vaughn's blood. This couldn't possibly be Sydney. It was a trick, an act…

"Holy shit." Was that Weiss or Jack? Hell, what did it even matter anymore.

Sydney pulled herself away from Sark and surveyed her surroundings as though she had never been there before. Sark watched her, fondness shining clear through his eyes. She seemed to be looking at everything except the hostages; in her perspective they did not exist.

Vaughn's eyes never left her wandering form. Slowly, he became aware of the painful pangs going off within him. So much time had passed and the only thing he wanted desired was finally returned to him…

Except it wasn't her, was it?

Same person but different, so very different. Her doe-like brown eyes took in everything for the first time. Her hair was longer and was a darker shade of brown, almost black. Vaughn numbly realized why she looked so different. Bangs had been cut in a blunt fashion across her forehead and her complexion was paler cream than he was used to. Everything about her appearance seemed to be overlaid with an icy sheen.

She drifted toward his work area and the ache inside him grew. A small frown appeared on her lips and he remembered how endearing she always looked whenever she was puzzled. She picked up a gold coin and held it between her fingers, watching the light bounce off of it.

How do you believe in something that isn't even real, Vaughn?

Sydney dropped the coin as though the metallic surface had scorched her flesh. It fell with a soft clang.

"I don't like it here," she announced. She went back to Sark. "It feels like a cemetery."

"We won't be here long, Sydney," Sark told her. "We'll leave as soon as we get what we came here for." He seemed bored with the entire hostage situation.

"Won't matter." She gave a weary sigh. "None of it matters."

Jack managed to croak out "Sydney?" She turned to him, the expression on her face polite and curious. She clasped her hands before her.

"What is it Daddy?" Very sweet, painfully sweet.

He swallowed hard. He was struggling to find the words that would very well fix all of this. No such words existed.

So he took what was closer to his tongue. "What happened to you?"

She appeared puzzled by his line of questioning. "What do you mean?" Then she smiled with innocent pride. "Oh don't worry about me. It was all bad for awhile-"her smile widened "-but they fixed me."

Vaughn repressed a gag. "They?" Irina asked. "Who's they?"

Sydney frowned, pensive. Then the sweetness returned to her face, and she was once more playful and evasive. She leaned forward and put her finger to her lips. "Shhh," she purred. "It's a secret." She winked and pivoted away, full of giggles.

It looked to everybody as though she had reverted back to a child state of mind. Vaughn ran through all the psychological reasons for this and with a sinking heart came to the most obvious conclusion. Sydney was insane.

Irina hesitated. "Do you know who we are, Sydney?" Sydney let out a silvery peal of laughter.

"Of course I do. You're my mother and he's my father and you're both tied up so you can't punish me." She looked proud of her logic.

"Oh Sydney." Irina sounded robbed of hope. She bowed her head down and her daughter reached over and lifted her chin in a bizarre mother-daughter role reversal. Something passed over her eyes. Bewildered by what she was doing, she backed away.

"We are who we are, Irina." The tone in her voice had become as cold as a steel knife. "We are…who we need to be."

"You are not a killer," Irina said.

"So you say." The mischief had returned. "But it's all in the blood, you see. Everyone you ever killed, I killed too. Because all I ever was…was a tool." She tilted her head, smiling. "An alias."

"That's not true!" Irina insisted.

"It is!" The confused desperation in her voice took everyone by surprise. "It was all a farce and we all went along with it. Just a little wind up toy you wanted to play with and then you went and got it broken!" She paused for a beat. "Or did you actually convince yourself that you loved me?"

Irina leaned forward, trying to make Sydney feel her words. "Sydney, I do love you-"

Sydney slapped her mother hard across the face; the sharpness reverberated against the shocked tension in the room.

"Stop lying, you disgusting bitch!" she screamed. "You, you treacherous whore, and your blood and deceit and sin. It was all just a fucking mirage!"

Sark moved to Sydney, worried. She started to shake uncontrollably. She covered her ears as if to stop the raging obscenities only she could hear. Her fists knotted themselves into her hair and as though she were prepared to tear it out in bloody clumps.

"So many noises," she moaned. She shut her eyes and began to sob. "God please just make it stop."

"Sydney?" Sark asked. He placed his hands over her tight fists and pulled them away from her scalp. "It's all right, it will be all right. Just let it go." She stared at Sark. For a moment she did not recognize him. The madness drained away from her from her eyes only to be replaced by a dangerous stillness. She turned back to her mother who was still reeling from the blow. Tenderly, she brushed the blood away from her lip.

And then smiled cruelly at her. "All you loved was the illusion."

Irina managed to look her maniacal daughter in the eye. "Sydney, what you're doing is wrong." Sydney shrugged.

"What does that matter? All I wanted was a family. All I got was the lie and even that didn't last." The words were savage and moving, stabbing Vaughn in the heart. Irina's eyes filled.

"You have a family darling." Cuvee re-entered the room. He smirked at Jack. "Won't be long." He gestured to Sydney, who obediently went to him. He put his arm around her, pushing some hair off her face. His caresses infuriated Jack, who could only look on helpless.

"My girl," he said with oily affection. "My darling girl." He placed an indifferent kiss on her forehead. She received it coolly. "I've practically been a father to her." He said these words knowing they would be like arrows to his heart. "These few months, she has done such a good job of coming around to out point of view."

"And how's that?" Vaughn spoke up, his fury making him unable to stay silent. His heart was pumping and the blood flowed angry within his veins.

Cuvee stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean just how did you manage to turn her? Because we all know that in the real world, she wouldn't touch you."

Cuvee's mouth twitched into a thin smile. "Good use of deduction agent. But why don't you ask her father? I …can't claim all the credit."

The implication was a slap to the face. Vaughn stared at Jack whose eyes widened with horrible understanding.

"Phase two of Project Christmas," Jack whispered. "Mind control. Mnemosyne."

Cuvee enjoyed Jack's anguish. "Could it be more perfectly ironic? Your daughter has fallen to the project in which you were one of the main operatives."

"You used the Mnemosyne treatments on my daughter?" Rage was flowed through Jack's voice.

"What's Mnemosyne?" Vaughn asked. Irina shook her head. "It's the most inhuman form of brainwashing to date. It was aborted early on in Project Christmas because of…side effects."

"Side effects." Jesus, he didn't want to know.

"Psychological trauma that resulted from the severity of the treatments, as well as mental and emotional damage."  Irina explained all of this, never taking her eyes off Cuvee. "The more the subject would resist…the more injuries they sustained."

Vaughn's eyes went back to Sydney. She was idly examining a strand of her hair, untroubled once more. It was too much…

"Syd," he whispered, miserably. She looked at him and narrowed her eyes, trying to put his face to in the part of her mind that would care. She didn't succeed and turned her head away, disinterested.

Sark then came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against her hair. Vaughn bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, tasting blood.

"If it's any consolation," Cuvee said, practically sneering, "she fought. She tried to resist us with everything inside her…and then one day she just stopped. I actually think she's happier this way."

"Very happy," Sydney chirped. She nestled herself deeper into Sark's embrace. "It's all a matter of perspective," she added melodiously.

She smiled one of her lovely, empty smiles once more before she tilted her head up at Sark. Making her eyes warm and undeniable to him she asked something that made Vaughn's heart stop cold.

"Which one do I get to play with?"