SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Okay, so I don't own Sailor Moon. But if position is 9/10's of the law, then by all accounts us fanficers must own Sailor Moon. Weeeelll, maybe not. A girl can wish, can't she?
I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far! I love you all! Murky-Lurky, Eternal-Earth-Sailor, Sanosuke's-Gurly and especially "just a reader"(Hope this chapter answer your comment about Seiya's feelings). I love you all so much. Everyone has been really helpful. Except for Murky-Lurky, you french drunk. Hee hee. I tease. Murky-Lurky is cool. If you like Inyuasha fics check her out. If I didn't have you here, I'll try and put you next chapter, I think I got everyone. Please Review Me!! I love it when people acknowledge my existence.
Rated: PG. Little bit of violence in this chapter.
"The stars directing our fate, And we're praying it's not to late."- Robbie Williams
Beginning of the End by Ami "KittyCat" Misuno
Chapter 4
In Usagi and Mamoru's room things were not going well.
"I can't believe you'd do that," said Usagi angrily, "You ruined the baby shower"
"Hey," said Mamoru, lying on the bed nursing his bruises, "It wasn't just me. Seiya started it! He was baiting me! Why don't you go lecture, OUCH!" Mamoru had tried to rise from the bed. He was too sore, he fell back on to the pillows."
"Listen to you! Seiya started it, Seiya started it. Don't try to blame this on Seiya. You were acting like a kid. I'm surprised this wasn't your baby shower!"
"Usagi! Stop blaming me for Seiya. I'm tried of watching him, watching you! Waiting for me to screw up so he can swoop in."
"Mamo-chan! Seiya has been nothing but nice to me. He was there, he comforted me, when I had no one."
"Don't look at me like that was my fault. I was gone. I couldn't come and see you."
"I know it wasn't your fault. It was just comforting to have Seiya there to comfort me. And Taiki and Yaten of course."
Silence hung like latterns, casting itself all over the room. Usagi let her hair down, combing it softly, like hanging tissue paper over the silence. She changed into her flowing nightgown. She helped Mamoru into his clothes. Her hands tenderly helped him change, but clear blue eyes did not meet his. She pulled down his nightshirt; he winced as her hand brushed a bruise. Usagi touched it, her warm hands rubbing his sore side.
"Usagi," murmured Mamoru, "What happened while I was gone? What happened between you and Seiya?"
Usagi froze; she looked up into Mamoru's eyes. He took her small hands in his. There was no malice in the beautiful blue of his eyes. He just wanted to know. He just wanted the doubt and worry to leave him.
"Mamo-chan," Usagi said, trying to pull away.
"Usako,"
Usagi sighed. She had to do this. He needed to know, it had been over a century. She pulled him to the bed. With a hop she perched on the bed, her feet dangling. She looked so young, she felt so young.
"It was nothing. We were just friends, maybe a bit more. I just missed you. Seiya missed Kakyu. We both sort of...needed each other. We never went anywhere. A kiss on the cheek, a hug that went to long. That was as far as it went," she looked into his eyes. Willing him to believe her. It was all true, "He reminded me of you. His voice, the eyes that pulled me in. It was seeing you, every time I looked at him. It would have broken my heart if he didn't care back. But he just eased my pain. Maybe it was in a different way then a friend but it was what I needed. Mamo-chan, please try and see. We're just friends now. We both found what we longed for. I found my love, you. I married you. Seiya still protects Kakyu. Our love became a friendship, that I love."
"But Seiya does love you, Usako. He takes in your every word, like water to a man in a desert. He worships your every footstep. He loves you. And he hates me. Because I have you. Because our destiny is to be together."
"No...NO! I don't know what your talking about," Usagi pressed her hands to her ears, "Mamoru, stop it. Stop telling me lies. Seiya is my friend. There was something else before but now...he's like a brother."
"Usagi. Look in Seiya's eyes. Tell me you don't see love. I don't know why you can't see it. But look before he leaves with a new angle."
"Mamoru, why are you saying that? Why would you say something so wrong? Do you hate Seiya that much?"
Usagi stood up. She walked to her side of the bed and lay down. Her back was the mountains and the bed a sea. His hand swam across and touched her shoulder. She shrugged him off. Mamoru sighed and was soon asleep. But Usagi did not find sleep. She did not look for sleep. Her eyes remained open. Fixed on something in the dark. For an hour she did not move, only blinked.
"I have to know for myself."
***
Usagi made her way to the room where Seiya was staying the night. She looked like a ghost floating through the halls. Her nightgown swept the floor and her long blonde hair flowed down her back and almost touched the floor. She was quiet. If she was seen entering Seiya's room it could be scandal.
She whispered into Seiya's room and pressed the door closed. Walking to his bed she noticed he hadn't undressed. His dress pants were wrinkled and creased. His shirt was open but he had obviously been to sore to take it off.
"Seiya," Usagi said softly, standing over him.
"Odango," said Seiya dreamily. Then realizing where he was he tried to sit up, "Queen, what's wrong? OH, ow." He gave up. He had as many bumps and bruises as Mamoru.
"Everything's fine. I-I just wanted to talk to you about something."
"What?"
Usagi didn't answer. She walked to the big pictures windows that faced the city. Seiya's eyes followed her eerie figure, highlighted by the lights of the city, and tonight, the moon. She stared up, watching the moon. Seiya lifted himself gently off the bed. He walked up to Usagi and touched her shoulder. She continued to stare up, holding a conversation with the stars.
"What?" Seiya asked again.
Usagi turned quickly and looked up into his eyes. So much like Mamoru's. She scrutinized the blackness that had drawn her in before. And she gasped.
"You do," she whispered, looking down. Ashamed at herself for not believing Mamoru. Ashamed she hadn't seen it before. It seemed so obvious.
"What? I do what?"
"You...love me. I...I shouldn't have come. I have to go."
"What Usagi? I do love you. Of course I love you. I always loved you. Since the minute I met you I loved you. To know you was to love you. Maybe I hid it at first. It was just a little cut of love. But I never tried to heal it. Never tried to stop the trickle of blood. And the wound has widened and broke. And each day I shed a bit more of my blood for you. And you never noticed the pool of blood you were standing in. You never noticed the sword you drove through my heart with your smile. But I never said anything. Just hoped that eventually it would rise to your lips. And when you tasted it, you'd notice me. Didn't you see me bleeding? Didn't you know? Couldn't you tell?"
"In the beginning I thought,...but..., Seiya, we're friends. I always thought that....it was because I missed Mamoru. You reminded me of him. Didn't you know that? I had the energy of princess. We both filled the other's void. Maybe it was love then. But after, when Mamoru came back,...when Kakyu came back. I thought that love became friendship."
"No, Usagi. I still love you. I'll always love you."
"Seiya. I'm sorry. What can I say? I don't love you."
"How can you say that? You haven't tried to love me. I'd protect you better. Try to love me, Usagi. You're bound to your duties. Listen to your heart."
"I have to go," Usagi said. She turned away. Took a step for the door. Seiya grabbed her wrist.
"Seiya, let go. I have to go."
"Usagi, just give me a kiss. One kiss. See if you don't love me after!"
"What? Seiya. You're being crazy. Let me go."
"A kiss."
"No, Seiya, no. I love Mamoru. Please let go. You're hurting me." Seiya ignored her. Usagi tried to pull his hand off. He grabbed her other hand and turned her to him.
"Usagi, you must love me. How can I love you so much without you having any feelings of love." He pushed her against the wall, pinning her arms above the wall. She could see his face was twisted, unknown. She had never seen this person before.
"Seiya, let go! You're hurting me. I don't love you. I don't!"
Seiya did not seem to hear her cries. He pressed his body against hers. She couldn't struggle against his tall frame. He leaned in a kissed her neck.
"Stop, please stop."Usagi whispered.
She couldn't struggle. Seiya was working his way up her neck to her mouth. She couldn't bare this. She had only kissed two men. Mamoru and Diamond. She couldn't believe someone who wasn't Mamoru was going to kiss her. And Seiya kissed her. None of it was there. The way Mamoru held her, how softly he kissed her. Like a rose petal. Seiya's kiss was too hard, to forceful. She knew he kissed her with power. With his love. But Usagi couldn't love another. A tear trickled down her cheek. Help, she thought, Help. Please.
The door flew open. The light of the hall framed Mamoru.
"Let her go Seiya."
Seiya recoiled and dropped Usagi's arms. He took a step back. The look on his face registered what he had done. What he had lost in this one act. Usagi slid against the wall, down to the floor.
Seiya was her friend. And he had hurt her. And he loved her. All those smiles, warm moments. He had loved her.
She sobbed Mamoru ran over and pulled Usagi close to him. "Shh, Shh. It's okay," He rocked her back and forth. She hid in the folds of his shirt.
"Seiya, I think we're going to leave. And I think in the morning your going to leave." Mamoru looked at Seiya and saw the pain of rejection. And he looked down at the sobbing child he held in his arms and felt the pain of revelation in her.
"Usagi, Usagi. I-I didn't mean to. I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Seiya," Mamoru said, "Please. I know she'll forgive. Just let us leave. Give it time. Get on with your life starting tomorrow. Your love has hurt the one you love. It's hurt you. It's hurt me. Please. Give it time."
"Okay." said Seiya, heartbroken. Soulbroken.
Mamoru scooped up Usagi. He gave Seiya a look of pity, sympathy, something like that. When they had left Seiya sat on the edge of his bed. And cried, all his tears, all his blood. He cried til there was nothing left in him. He cried for what he had lost on their first meeting. He cried for what he had lost in this, their last meeting as friends. And he cried for his first and last kiss.
