Name: The Realization That You´re Inlove.
Author: merykey X-5 495
E-Mail: merykey_x5495@yahoo.com
Summary: Alec realizes that he loves someone, but she has a boyfriend. M/A. After HG & DDA and before SAH & LATR.
Disclamer: The characters of Dark Angel do not belong to me. They belong to a guy named James and I think the other´s one name is something like Eglee or something like that.
Author´s Note I: Hey!! Long time no seen, ah! Well, I´m sorry it took me so long, the thing is I had wrote this episode but I didn´t like it that much, so I changed it. It still isn´t what I spected but well... Enjoy it!! AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!
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Chapter 18

After a little talk with Biggs, a lot of thinking and then having heard Logan, Alec was ready to talk to Max.

He approached her, who was sitting on a table on Crash with OC. Original got up and looked at Alec. "Don´t you make her feel any worse than she already does." and left.

The X-5 male took OC´s seat and took a sip of his drink while he steared at Max. He wasn´t saying anything. Not a word. He was torturing Max... and he loved it!

"So, you gonna tell me what happen?" she asked a little annoyed that he hadn´t say anything, and she had to be the one to breake the ice of that uncomfortable silence.

It seamed to Alec, that Max looked like sad. Well, Max always looked sad. Since day one they´ve met she had that expression of total lost.

"I didn´t say anything." he answered, and her face softened a little, though never washing her 'natural' (and by natural I mean sad) face away.

"Thanks... I´m sorry, really, and I didn´t mean to hurt you, it´s just... I never thought you would even care."

"Well, there´s a lot you don´t know ´bout me... and, anyway, I overreacted. I mean, I didn´t talk to you in like 3 days. Talking ´bout inmature."

Max gave Alec a small, soft smile, and said, "Guess I´m the winner, anyway."

"Well, we both acted like two idiots, so... let´s just forget it."

"Deal. So what happen? Why did you change your mind?"

Alec sighed. He bit his lip before talking. It was hard to admit he had been wrong when he was right, but still... "Well, I guess you were right. I mean, you had to say something." Alec looked down, tearing his eyes away fron hers. "Thought... you didn´t push him away." and then, under his breath, "I´m not sure what would. He let you go." he said then continuing in a normal tone of voice, now looking at her "becouse he wanted you to be happy."

Max knew those words had to be important to her. After all Alec was saying Logan was still inlove with her and would be for a long time. Logan had been important to her... the most important person in her life. But suddenly, it was like 'Ok, whatever...' What´s done is done and she broke up with him a month ago. Yes, maybe at first only as a noble act, trying to save him from her. But then it become ´bout her. About what she wanted for her. And she realized she didn´t want to be with Logan anymore... So why should she care? Right... their long history together, that was all.

"Can I ask you something?" he said breaking Max´s thoughts.

"What?" she said softly.

"Why did you lie to Logan?"

Max sighed, already tired to repeat the same thing over and over again. "I already told you..."

But Alec cut her off. "No, I mean after... why?"

Max knew what he meant by 'after'... the cure. It was funny how a simple word was so difficult to pronounce to some people. And, no she hadn´t said that a lot, as a matter of fact. But was this the right time to say anything? Tell him the real reason why she lied again to Logan after the so bitchy virus was definetely gone?

Max suddenly looked at where Alec had his glance fixed on. Her right arm. His eyes were wide open, with a little confution on them, but most of it was fear.

When she finally found what his companion was stearing, she only said, "Oh, my God!"

Little black draws. Like chinesse letters, except they weren´t chinnese. She would know, OC had one of those chinnese alphabet letters on her back. This was nothing like she ever saw.

"What the hell are they?" said Alec, taking her arm for a closer look. The draws were appearing slowly over her skin. It was fascinating.

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"Huh..." said Logan from the other side of the screen. Max and Alec had gone to Terminal City so they could talk to Logan. Max had convinced Logan to move to Father´s house so he would be closer in case they needed his help or if he needed their help.

"'Huh' as in 'Stange but I know exactly what it is, huh' or 'Huh, what the hell is going on'?" said Max.

Alec was holding the webcam that allowed Logan take a closer look to the tattoos.

"Closer to the second one. So, they just popped out? You didn´t do anything?... come into contact with anyone?... Drink anything?" asked Logan.

"Yeah, I drank a bottle of something that said "Tattoos from within'. Was that wrong?" Max answered sarcastically. What kind of stupid question was that? Did you drink anything? Please!

"Hey, take it easy."

"Sorry... it´s just freaking me out."

"They look a little like the symbol on Joshua´s necklace." he said and then after a small pause he continued. "Maybe they´re like your barcode, some kind of genetically-encoded imprint, designed to appear on your skin at a given time."

"What for and why now?"

"I don´t know... Maybe it´s a message."

"From who?"

Then, out of no where... "Father." Joshua said.

Max, Alec, Logan and everyone who was listening the conversation looked at Joshua.

"That makes sense. Maybe Sandeman put this message on you." said Logan.

"But why?" asked Max.

"Maybe to warn you ´bout something... I don´t know." Max was silence. "Look, I´m gonna check on it. I have a friend who studied Lost Dead Languages. Maybe he can tell me what language is this."

"Ok."

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(If you want you can skip this part... I´m just trying to intoduce C.J. and how Biggs gets got by the donation guys... My version cames right after this!)

Next day Alec went to Terminal City after finishing his shift at Jam Pony. Max was already there.

"You talked to Logan?" he asked to Max.They were sitting with Joshua over a table on the HQ.

"He says it's some branch of ancient Minoan language." answered Max.

"Did he figure out what it says?"

"He's working on it. The problem is, no one's ever deciphered the whole alphabet."

"Well, that doesn't make sense. I mean, if Sandeman is involved with this breeding cult, and he did encode whatever that is into you, then why did he do it in a language you can't understand?"

"Maybe he was going to teach her before she left." said Joshua answering Alec´s question.

"Yeah, but why not just plain English?" asked Alec again.

"So no one else could read it." Joshua answered again.

"Sorta makes sense." said Max.

"Are we sure he's one of the good guys?" Alec asked.

"Well, he left Manticore, didn't he?" said Joshua. He really didn´t like when someone insinuated that Father may not be one of the 'good guys'.

Then, Luke entered the HQ with a man, a very funny-looking man.

"Hey, all. Say hello to the newest resident of Terminal City. CJ, everyone. Everyone, CJ." introduced the transhuman.

"Hey, CJ" said all of the transgenics that were in there.

"Welcome." said Dix as he approached to the new transhuman.

"What are you? X-3? X-4?" asked Mole, always on his cocky, cigar-on-the-mouth way of talking to new people.

"I'm X-5...dash four one one." said the guy named CJ.

"X-5?" said Max not believing her eyes. That was an X-5?! I always thought X-5 were fashion model prototypes, and this is no fashion model prototype... I mean, every X-5 I´ve met are... hot! I mean, look at every X-5 female in this room... look at every X-5 male in this room... look at Alec... Focus! Don´t think of Alec right now!

"The few, the proud." he said giving Max a typical army salute. "You don't believe me?" He had definitively seen Max face when he said he was an X-5. "Okay." Now, he was ready to show her what a real Manticore product was able to do. He handed the paper bag he was carring to Luke and striked a fighting stance. "You want a little, huh? You want a piece?" he said tempting Max.

He started jumping around, doing funny noises. Were those martial arts moves or was he having an epilepsy attack? Along with the funny noises, he was also barking, which sorprised Joshua and amused Alec. This CJ guy did definitively not have any martial arts experience what so ever.

"Didja see that? The way I blurred?" said CJ in a proud tone.

"No." Who the hell´s this clawn?!

"Exactly. That's 'cause I'm so fast. Still don't believe me?" he said and tried to fight Max, but with just one move, and not a very strong nor fast one, she threw him to the floor.

"Ow." said the stupid.

Then, Joshua picked him up and growled at him. The dog-man, just like the entire population of Terminal City that was in the HQ at that moment eyewitnessing CJ´s stunts, realized this guy was no X-5 or Transhuman, for that matters.

"Where'd you get that?" said CJ taking with his hands Joshua´s neckless... Father´s neckless.

"Why?" asked Max suspiciously.

"No reason." he answered innocently.

"Is that something you've seen before?" she asked now, a little bit more rude this time.

"No."

But Luke interrupted them.

"Guys! Hey, guys! Guys!"

A newscast had come on TV, announcing that the police was pursuing a transgenic. They showed a picture of the transgenic in cuestion... Biggs.

"If you see this individual, please alert the authorities immediately. This alleged transgenic is considered to be a dangerous fugitive and should not be approached under any circumstances. It is unclear if the suspect is armed." said the reporter.

"It's Biggs." said Alec with a bitter sweet tone... a preocupation tone. He was worried for his friend. He took his phone and dialed Biggs´ phone number. "Come on." he said impatiently.

CJ took this opportunity to leave, forgetting ´bout the bag he had handed to Luke.

"Hey. You won't believe what just happened to me." said Biggs to Alec, on the other side of the line.

"Where are you?" the blond X-5 asked his friend.

"Near our place."

"You need to get back to Terminal City right now, pal. You´re all over National Televition."

"Shit!"

"Excuse me." said a man after him. It was the man who was asking for money for a trannie free Seattle.

"Hang on a sec, Alec." and now addressing to the man behind him, "Yeah?"

"You wanna help keep the neighborhood trannie-safe?"

"Some other time." Biggs said, and then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pipe about to crash agains his back. He stoped it, taking the pipe away from the man so fast that none of the other men saw him. Biggs hit one of them with it so hard, the ordinary fell to the floor totaly unconscious and then kicked the man who had had the pipe in the guts and smash his head against a car, leaving him unconscious too. Now there was only one ordinary standing, actually he was scare to shit of Biggs. The man just start backing up slowly until he turned around and run the hell out of there.

"Alec?" he said again to the phone. "I´ll be there right away."

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Yeah, after Biggs was almost got by those donation-guys things got a lot more tense. Add to that what Max found out the day after the incident. CJ, the weird guy who pretended to be an X-5, was Sandeman´s son; and you wanna know the best, or worst? CJ´s brother is nobody but Ames White.

How funny life can be... Your own personal 'Days Of Our Lives' as your life. You don´t see it coming, it just hits you with the most unthinkable situation and you think 'what would the characters do?'... you don´t know it, and it can´t be fixed. That´s when you realize life is nothing but a bunch of sucky moments which can´t be simply fixed with a new character... But don´t forget the good moments life has... And you must never forget them becouse there´s only a few of them in this sick, violent and sucky world we call home.

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The minute Max was back in Terminal City, Logan was there. Of course he wasn´t going to stay long, toxic air and all. He just needed to talk to her.

"So what happen? How did White got you again?" he said as they separated from the rest of the transgenics in the HQ building.

"Well, we found this guy who said he was an X-5 and he ended up being Sandeman´s son."

Logan, with a shock face, said, not knowing what to say, "Sandeman´s son?!"

"Yeah, and White´s brother."

Even more shocking face, "So Sandeman is White's father?!"

"Aha, and I guess in some twisted kind of way, it means he's my brother."

"Huh. Well, one thing's for sure. If Sandeman tried to leave the cult, then Joshua was right, he's one of the good guys.

"So is C.J., in his own crazy way. I feel bad ´bout him. He died becouse of me. He tried to save me. Whatever Sandeman was trying to tell me with these things, it sure as hell freaked White out. I mean, he made it sound like I was the Second Coming, here to foil his big, evil plan. Like I even know what it is."

"Hey, Max, check it out." said Alec yelling at her from where he was, collecting the money of the bets.

Logan looked away from the couple.

"We've got a little bet going on over here," the X-5 went on, "to see who can last the longest. You want in?"

"No." she said a little uncomfortable.

Fine, you wanna stay with old boring Logan, be my guest!

I just need a few minutes to talk to Logan.

She didn´t know why, but she felt like she should explain him why she was still talking to old, boring Logan.

And he didn´t know why, but he felt he should leave her alone with Logan so she could talk to him for a few minutes.

"I'll let you get back to the party. I hafta go anyway." said Logan the minute Alec turn back to the competition.

"Logan..."

Logan looked at her hoping she would say something that would free him from his missery.

"I lied to you."

And she did.

"What you mean?" said Logan not really understanding what was going on. Was this a dream? No, his dreams would usually include the most expensive computer equipment, a very fancy apartment, lots of money and oh! of course, Max naked. No, it wasn´t a dream. Then he must be hallucinating.

"Lets go outside." she answered instead. Max didn´t want anyone listening to this, specially not Alec.

Once outside, Max couldn´t see him in the eyes. This was too embarrassing.

"Max?" said the ordinary, trying to bring her back from wherever she was.

She gained the strength to see him, but gaining the strength to tell him was another thing. Ok, that´s it, you can´t live your life like this! Always feeling like you can´t do it! Damn it!! You CAN do it! Just tell the man what you´re feeling for once!!

"When... you asked me if... I was actually with... Alec... I lied."

Yes! Yes! Thank you Jesus!!! Sweet Lord!!! "Really?" said Logan in a cool way. Logan´s not the kind of 'cool guy', so he was just pretending, you know? He wanted to jump, to scream, to grab Max and kiss her the way he´s been wanting to since the last time they had any physical contact. But he tryed to keep his cool... Loser.

"Yeah, just let me explain why I did it." she said quickly. Max was actually affraid that Logan would be mad at her. She really didn´t know the guy at all. I mean, the guy´s fantasy is Max naked sitting over the best computer equipment. You really think she knows or even thinks those are Logan´s fantasies?! No! She actually thinks that all Logan thinks is doing good, saving the poor and the needy... He´s so boring.

"I was scare. I didn´t know what to do, I was completaly confuse. I... I lied becouse I needed time to figure out what was I so afraid of, why did it feel so wrong..."

"Did you figure it out?" Please, say you figured it out. Please say you wanna be with me forever!! PLEASE!!!

Max took a moment to figure what she was going to say and how. She couldn´t just throw it at him like if it was... nothing. It was something, something big. Something that was going to completely break his heart in a thousand pieces. "Yeah." She couldn´t see him on the eyes.

"And?"

"And... I realized that... I´ve been lieing to myself."

All Logan did was show his confusion. Ok, that´s not the answer I was waiting for... but let´s just give her the chance to explain herself.

"Once I thought that if I buried my feelings deep down inside of me I wouldn´t get hurt. But when I met you, thouse things just... weren´t important anymore. I don´t know. I guess I wanted to feel the way I did. I wanted to know what was I missing."

"Max, I..."

"But, Logan, this last two years have dried me dry..." she said quickly so Logan wouldn´t say what he was about to say, and then she would feel even more guilty. "This... thing... this relation-ship wasn´t going anywhere... ISN´T going anywhere."

Logan´s happy and relieve face were gone. He now knew how Max felt about their long but never developed relation-ship. A huge mistake.

"I loved you once, I know it. But... I feel we´re not in the same place anymore. I have so many things going on in my life... I don´t know if there´s any place for you now."

Max looked like she was about to cry. But not like the last time she cryed after she told Logan they were over. That time she had cryed becouse she loved Logan. Now, she was crying becouse she didn´t love him anymore.

Logan then, out of no where, when he was supposed to be mad and sad, kissed Max´s forehead, looked at her with sad but fogiven eyes, and left.

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"So, who won?" Max asked to Alec, after she finished her little talk with Logan.

"Iglu did." Alec answered, counting his winnings. She smiled... Iglu fits him perfectly. Alec should´ve named Mole, after all he didn´t have anything of mole in him; he was nothing but a big lizard. "So, what did Logan said?"

Confusion first, then fear and finally annoyense crossed Max´s face at that question. Confusion becouse she didn´t know what he was talking about; fear, becouse she realized he might have heard her and Logan´s conversation; and annoyense, becouse if he did in fact had heard the conversation, he was minutes away from a world of pain.

"´Bout what?" she asked with annoyense.

"´Bout White, what else?"

"Oh!" she said relieve. Thanks God!

"Let me guess," Alec continued, "he´s going to check on it."

Duh!

"Yeah, how didja...?"

"Is like you and your 'Alec I´m gonna kick your ass' or 'Alec, shut up!'" he said smiling, "Logan always says that... along with the 'and Max... be careful.' They´re his trade mark. You think he pays royalties?"

She hit him softly on the head. She wasn´t trying to be violent or anything...

"You... are so mean." she said with a playfull, yet small, almost unseen, smile.

"It´s part of my nature, you know?"

"Whatever." she said, again with that playfull smile, which now it was visible for all of those who weren´t blind. And then, they were totally lost in each others eyes...

"Hey, Max!" said Biggs, and then mentaly kicked himself when he saw what was going on in there.

"Hey!" she said sorprised... coming back to the world of the living.

Alec´s eyes steared at him with a desorientated stear. "Hey man."

"Hey... so, I heard what happen with White, Max. That sucks."

Max didn´t say anything, she just gestured him something that could be translated as a 'Yeah, well, I´ll live with it.'

"Ok... so, I´ll leave you guys... with... whatever you were doing... and..." and then gesturing a good-bye, Biggs left his friends alone again.

"So... I´m probably should be heading home. Cindy must be worried."

"Yeah." said Alec.

"You want a ride to your place?" she asked politely.

"That´s ok, I got my bike."

"Oh... well, ok then. I´ll see you tomorrow at work."

"Yeah."

To tell the truth, and so you guys can picture this, they looked like to high-school kids. Shy... Nervous... Not knowing what to say... Anyway, you get my point, they looked cute. Children-like cute... =0D

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Author´s Note II: Hey, I´m not sure ´bout this chapter, as I said before. Anyway, when I finished this I was really sick, so if you find there´s no logic, that´s ok, it´s not you.... REVIEW AND TELL WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!