Learning to be 'Normal'
Chapter Four
By Jess
~*~ (Harry's POV-Flashback)
I opened my eyes and closed them again instantly. The bright sunlight shone on the bright orange posters on all of the walls in the Ron's bedroom making the room brighter than it should have been. A startled cry and a chair scraping along the floor from a few feet to my cots right shot my eyes open once more and I was forced to adjust to the light.
Molly Weasley stood with her head out of the door that separated our room and the rest of the busy house. Soon she returned with a warm smile on her face and Arthur at her heels. They both looked tired and a lot older than I remember them being, and it was my fault.
Nearly two months since the early June attack at Hogwarts and the end of school and I was still being treated like a fragile ornament on the edge of the mantle. I never understood why it was I that was ready to fall apart and not everyone. I wasn't the only one that died that day. I wasn't the only one that suffered from the loss of the youngest and only Weasley daughter.
Every night Ron calls out in his sleep for the little sister he feels he should have protected better. Mr. Weasley holes himself up in his work shed after every supper with the family photo albums he must know by heart now. And more than once I've caught Mrs. Weasley with nine plates for supper instead of eight. Fred and George started their business but have a picture of their sister on the wall behind the register. Bill, Charlie, and Percy come back to the Burrow an awful lot too. It seems that his sister's alleged death made him more tolerant of his siblings' humor, the twins especially.
I still have nightmares, but they're no longer warnings. It seems that everyone that died in that fight has come back to haunt my dreams. All of them are mournful; particularly the ones in which Cho and Cedric come to visit. But they aren't all dreadfully unpleasant, but the ones when Draco comes to 'chat' with me always end violently and I wake up panting and in a cold sweat.
Ginny's never been in my dreams and I like to think of it as a sign that she's not dead.
Mrs. Weasley waved a hand in front of my face and I realized that I must have spaced out. She smiled again. "Are you hungry, Harry dear?"
After a moments consideration I nodded. "Where's Ron?"
Mr. Weasley laughed from his place in the doorway. "Harry, it's nearly three o'clock in the afternoon. Ron was up and ten at the latest."
I glanced down at my watch in shock. Three o'clock? How had I let the time go like that? Shaking myself, I stood and grabbed my dressing gown from the back of Ron's door and made my way sleepily down the stairs with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. A meal was prepared for me and I ate, albeit groggily.
The house was quiet, too quiet, and I wondered where Ron and the twins had gone off to. When I'd cleared my plate from the table and banished it to the sink to start washing, I bounded up the stairs to claim the shower as my own for ten minutes or so.
As the scalding hot water pounded onto my head and shoulders, I thought about Ginny and how this summer might have gone had she not. disappeared, and that turned into about how to find her. I'd put a tracer on her magical signature last week and started looking for old records of anything that could be used to trace my parents. I rested my forehead against the cool tiles of the shower wall. What was I missing? What haven't I done?
Absentmindedly reaching for the towel I'd placed on the sink, I stepped out of the shower into the light fog that has accumulated in the small bathroom. A clean pair of robes had mysteriously found their way to the floor in front of the door. I shook my head and smiled at Mrs. Weasley, she'll probably always be looking out for me.
Clean, dressed, and smelling fresh as a daisy, I grabbed my Firebolt and went in search of Ron. Maybe he and the twins would be up to a two on two game of Quidditch. But in my hunt I found that the three were no where to be seen, and in further exploration I found that I couldn't find any of the Weasleys.
My mind began to race and I began to pray to anyone who would listen to help me find my 'family' safe and sound. I didn't know what I would do with the unruly bunch of redheads, they were everything I had these days and to lose them would be too much. I opened the backdoor, intent on finding everyone quickly and unharmed.
"SURPRISE!"
I stumbled back and my jaw dropped in shock. The entire garden was decorated with streamers and twinkle lights. A magically extended table sat in the center of it all with a large cake and ample amounts of food and plates. All of my family and friends were dressed in their best clothes, all holding presents and smiling and laughing brightly. I even spotted a certain bushy-haired best friend of mine with a hand in that of my other best friend's. It was she and Ron that approached me first, lying their presents on a table I hadn't seen before.
Hermione hugged me tightly and I was just too astounded to do anything but stand there. "Happy birthday, Harry."
Ron clapped a hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug as well once Hermione moved; something that was a tad bit uncharacteristic of Ron. "Happy birthday, mate."
They stepped back and the picture they made was unforgettable. I found myself beginning to smile. All of these people were here for me. It was amazing and the love and kinship radiating from the excessively large group was intense.
My heart clenched when I remembered that there were only eight redheads present when there really should have been nine, possibly ten. My head swam and my vision blurred. I tried to force these feeling away, make everything okay again, but I couldn't. No one moved the entire time I struggled with my internal battle, but when my lower lip trembled, my family came forward and engulfed me in a large group hug. I cried then, for the first time since the day I found out that the love of my life was gone. But I didn't cry alone.
~*~ (Alison's POV)
".and so here we are."
My thoughts were spinning and I cast my eyes to the ground to mask the turmoil inside. Alive, all of them except for her. me. And Mum and Dad were James and Lily Potter? I suddenly felt lost and very vulnerable. I loved the life I'd left behind, all of my brothers and my parents. But I was comfortable, I'd let go already and as much as I missed everything, I didn't want to go back.
Albus Dumbledore's black, pointed shoes came into my view. "Young lady, we need your name and a spell, please."
I raised my eyes to him and he peered at my closely behind those half moon spectacles. There was no where for me to hide from those ever knowing eyes of his, so I took the wand that was being offered to me and clutched with my right hand. "Lumos."
The end of the wand lit up and at the same time something beeped on Harry's watch. He fumbled with it, muttering all the while about an incompetent ministry. All at once I felt trapped, my breath quickened and my heart raced. I needed to get out. Dumbledore blocked my way out and I knew what he wanted and he nodded his head to show that he thought I was on the right track. I steeled myself for what I knew was coming. "My real name is Virginia Weasley."
Two heads whipped to mine and both of their eyes seemed to threaten to pop out of their head. Harry's mouth opened and closed, as if he was looking for the words. My father's eyes filled with tears and he started for me with his arms outstretched, but I couldn't let him get there. Everything was so raw, so fresh, so I ducked out from under his arms and ran into the house.
I stumbled up the stairs, tears impairing my vision and I could hear Harry close on my heels but I had a head start and I reached my room before he could stop me. I shut the door behind me and locked it as I leaned against it, panting for air. Harry was on the other side, cursing and yelling for me to open. Finally it seemed to occur to him that he was a wizard with a wand and he said the unlocking charm, "Alohamora", but I'd anticipated this and kept my finger of the lock to lock it back in place once it was opened.
He leant against the door and slid down, he was giving up and briefly I felt bad for him and what I could tell this was doing to him. My hand fell away from the door handle and I fell to the floor and sat cross-legged in front of my door, just a foot or two away from Harry. I could almost feel his presence in the air and I brushed my fingers against the smooth wood. I bit my lip and choked back sobs; the effect it was having on Harry was amplified ten-fold inside of myself.
I wanted nothing more than to run downstairs and jump into my father's arms and have him carry me home. To sit at a table full of redheads and go nearly deaf from the medley of voices, laughter, clinking plates and cups. But that was part of my problem, as much as I wanted to go back, I'd already moved on. I had a new family, one that loved me for me, not because I was born to them. I fingered lightly the picture I'd rescued earlier, the one with the Weasley kids. Fresh tears surfaced and I let them fall.
"Gin? Gin, come on. Let me in. please."
My head snapped up and I struggled to find the words to answer him. "I-I can't, Harry."
"Why not, Gin? We've been looking for you for years. We. I miss you. Life has been boring without you around."
"I thought you died."
"Most people think that you're dead. But you aren't. You're just on the other side of the door. Please let me in."
I shook my head even though I knew he couldn't see. "Ginny Weasley is dead, Harry. I buried her inside of myself two years ago. I'm Alison Clairmore now."
I heard him sigh in frustration; things weren't going the way he'd planned at all. "Gin, please. Come home."
"What about school?"
"We can re-enroll you at Hogwarts to finish out your last year. It won't be hard."
"No, what about school here?"
"You want to finish Muggle schooling?"
"I don't know. I think I want to stay here. I don't want things to change."
"Gin, I'm going to take my parents back to the wizarding world. I'm going to re-introduce them to Remus and Sirius. I'm going to take them to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. I'm going to find them a house in Hogsmeade. Things are going to change even if you don't want them to. Make the most of it."
Tears flooded my vision and constricted my throat. I was going to lose everything all over again. I heard him get up and shuffle down the stairs and soon afterwards voices drifted up from the kitchen. Trying to clue myself in, I opened the door and sat in the doorway. The first prominent was my mum's, or really Lily Potter's.
"I want nothing more but than to go back and be with everyone again. To be with my son, but Alison."
My father interrupted her. "Her name is Ginny."
I could almost see the expression of incredulously on my 'mum's' face. "Her schooling isn't finished, her friends and surrogate family are here. We can't uproot her, you saw how she reacted today."
Once again, my father interjected. "I want my daughter back. Today. She needs to go home and be with her mother, her father, and her brothers. You have no right to keep her from us."
Dumbledore made a few soothing sounds that might have made more sense if I'd been downstairs. But as it was I was upstairs listening in on everyone else trying to decide my life for me.
"Listen, everyone, this isn't easy for any of us. I suggest we all go home, get a good night's sleep and return to discuss this with Alison or Ginny, however you may know her. Arthur, Harry, come now, we'll return around noon tomorrow."
I heard three distinctive pops and the trio was gone. Something held me to that doorway, to listen a little longer. Once again, it was my 'mum' that I heard first.
"Oh James, what are we going to do? I love Alison, but Harry. Did you see him, James? He's grown up so wonderfully and he looks just like you. I want to know him; I want to know how he drinks his tea and what his favorite color is. I want to know how he grew up and what his greatest fears are."
My heart palpitated and I started to feel guilty. I kept them from knowing Harry all of these years. Granted that I hadn't a clue that they were Lily and James Potter and that I'd thought that Harry was dead, but it was still my fault. They lost even more precious time with the son they never knew because of me.
"Lils, we will know him. Just because we love Alison doesn't mean we can't love him. Everything will be okay, it'll all work out. What do you say you and I head on up to bed now?"
After shutting off the lights and locking the doors, the two ambled up the stairs hand in hand. They froze upon seeing me, neither one looked like they knew what to say to me. So, I said something to them.
"I think we need to go home."
~*~
Author's Notes: I'm feeling pretty sad. why? This chapter makes me sad for some reason or another. Anyway, more will be up soon (let's keep our fingers crossed). Oh, and Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. Maybe I'll get the full rights and titles in my Easter basket! What do you guys think?
~*~ (Harry's POV-Flashback)
I opened my eyes and closed them again instantly. The bright sunlight shone on the bright orange posters on all of the walls in the Ron's bedroom making the room brighter than it should have been. A startled cry and a chair scraping along the floor from a few feet to my cots right shot my eyes open once more and I was forced to adjust to the light.
Molly Weasley stood with her head out of the door that separated our room and the rest of the busy house. Soon she returned with a warm smile on her face and Arthur at her heels. They both looked tired and a lot older than I remember them being, and it was my fault.
Nearly two months since the early June attack at Hogwarts and the end of school and I was still being treated like a fragile ornament on the edge of the mantle. I never understood why it was I that was ready to fall apart and not everyone. I wasn't the only one that died that day. I wasn't the only one that suffered from the loss of the youngest and only Weasley daughter.
Every night Ron calls out in his sleep for the little sister he feels he should have protected better. Mr. Weasley holes himself up in his work shed after every supper with the family photo albums he must know by heart now. And more than once I've caught Mrs. Weasley with nine plates for supper instead of eight. Fred and George started their business but have a picture of their sister on the wall behind the register. Bill, Charlie, and Percy come back to the Burrow an awful lot too. It seems that his sister's alleged death made him more tolerant of his siblings' humor, the twins especially.
I still have nightmares, but they're no longer warnings. It seems that everyone that died in that fight has come back to haunt my dreams. All of them are mournful; particularly the ones in which Cho and Cedric come to visit. But they aren't all dreadfully unpleasant, but the ones when Draco comes to 'chat' with me always end violently and I wake up panting and in a cold sweat.
Ginny's never been in my dreams and I like to think of it as a sign that she's not dead.
Mrs. Weasley waved a hand in front of my face and I realized that I must have spaced out. She smiled again. "Are you hungry, Harry dear?"
After a moments consideration I nodded. "Where's Ron?"
Mr. Weasley laughed from his place in the doorway. "Harry, it's nearly three o'clock in the afternoon. Ron was up and ten at the latest."
I glanced down at my watch in shock. Three o'clock? How had I let the time go like that? Shaking myself, I stood and grabbed my dressing gown from the back of Ron's door and made my way sleepily down the stairs with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. A meal was prepared for me and I ate, albeit groggily.
The house was quiet, too quiet, and I wondered where Ron and the twins had gone off to. When I'd cleared my plate from the table and banished it to the sink to start washing, I bounded up the stairs to claim the shower as my own for ten minutes or so.
As the scalding hot water pounded onto my head and shoulders, I thought about Ginny and how this summer might have gone had she not. disappeared, and that turned into about how to find her. I'd put a tracer on her magical signature last week and started looking for old records of anything that could be used to trace my parents. I rested my forehead against the cool tiles of the shower wall. What was I missing? What haven't I done?
Absentmindedly reaching for the towel I'd placed on the sink, I stepped out of the shower into the light fog that has accumulated in the small bathroom. A clean pair of robes had mysteriously found their way to the floor in front of the door. I shook my head and smiled at Mrs. Weasley, she'll probably always be looking out for me.
Clean, dressed, and smelling fresh as a daisy, I grabbed my Firebolt and went in search of Ron. Maybe he and the twins would be up to a two on two game of Quidditch. But in my hunt I found that the three were no where to be seen, and in further exploration I found that I couldn't find any of the Weasleys.
My mind began to race and I began to pray to anyone who would listen to help me find my 'family' safe and sound. I didn't know what I would do with the unruly bunch of redheads, they were everything I had these days and to lose them would be too much. I opened the backdoor, intent on finding everyone quickly and unharmed.
"SURPRISE!"
I stumbled back and my jaw dropped in shock. The entire garden was decorated with streamers and twinkle lights. A magically extended table sat in the center of it all with a large cake and ample amounts of food and plates. All of my family and friends were dressed in their best clothes, all holding presents and smiling and laughing brightly. I even spotted a certain bushy-haired best friend of mine with a hand in that of my other best friend's. It was she and Ron that approached me first, lying their presents on a table I hadn't seen before.
Hermione hugged me tightly and I was just too astounded to do anything but stand there. "Happy birthday, Harry."
Ron clapped a hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug as well once Hermione moved; something that was a tad bit uncharacteristic of Ron. "Happy birthday, mate."
They stepped back and the picture they made was unforgettable. I found myself beginning to smile. All of these people were here for me. It was amazing and the love and kinship radiating from the excessively large group was intense.
My heart clenched when I remembered that there were only eight redheads present when there really should have been nine, possibly ten. My head swam and my vision blurred. I tried to force these feeling away, make everything okay again, but I couldn't. No one moved the entire time I struggled with my internal battle, but when my lower lip trembled, my family came forward and engulfed me in a large group hug. I cried then, for the first time since the day I found out that the love of my life was gone. But I didn't cry alone.
~*~ (Alison's POV)
".and so here we are."
My thoughts were spinning and I cast my eyes to the ground to mask the turmoil inside. Alive, all of them except for her. me. And Mum and Dad were James and Lily Potter? I suddenly felt lost and very vulnerable. I loved the life I'd left behind, all of my brothers and my parents. But I was comfortable, I'd let go already and as much as I missed everything, I didn't want to go back.
Albus Dumbledore's black, pointed shoes came into my view. "Young lady, we need your name and a spell, please."
I raised my eyes to him and he peered at my closely behind those half moon spectacles. There was no where for me to hide from those ever knowing eyes of his, so I took the wand that was being offered to me and clutched with my right hand. "Lumos."
The end of the wand lit up and at the same time something beeped on Harry's watch. He fumbled with it, muttering all the while about an incompetent ministry. All at once I felt trapped, my breath quickened and my heart raced. I needed to get out. Dumbledore blocked my way out and I knew what he wanted and he nodded his head to show that he thought I was on the right track. I steeled myself for what I knew was coming. "My real name is Virginia Weasley."
Two heads whipped to mine and both of their eyes seemed to threaten to pop out of their head. Harry's mouth opened and closed, as if he was looking for the words. My father's eyes filled with tears and he started for me with his arms outstretched, but I couldn't let him get there. Everything was so raw, so fresh, so I ducked out from under his arms and ran into the house.
I stumbled up the stairs, tears impairing my vision and I could hear Harry close on my heels but I had a head start and I reached my room before he could stop me. I shut the door behind me and locked it as I leaned against it, panting for air. Harry was on the other side, cursing and yelling for me to open. Finally it seemed to occur to him that he was a wizard with a wand and he said the unlocking charm, "Alohamora", but I'd anticipated this and kept my finger of the lock to lock it back in place once it was opened.
He leant against the door and slid down, he was giving up and briefly I felt bad for him and what I could tell this was doing to him. My hand fell away from the door handle and I fell to the floor and sat cross-legged in front of my door, just a foot or two away from Harry. I could almost feel his presence in the air and I brushed my fingers against the smooth wood. I bit my lip and choked back sobs; the effect it was having on Harry was amplified ten-fold inside of myself.
I wanted nothing more than to run downstairs and jump into my father's arms and have him carry me home. To sit at a table full of redheads and go nearly deaf from the medley of voices, laughter, clinking plates and cups. But that was part of my problem, as much as I wanted to go back, I'd already moved on. I had a new family, one that loved me for me, not because I was born to them. I fingered lightly the picture I'd rescued earlier, the one with the Weasley kids. Fresh tears surfaced and I let them fall.
"Gin? Gin, come on. Let me in. please."
My head snapped up and I struggled to find the words to answer him. "I-I can't, Harry."
"Why not, Gin? We've been looking for you for years. We. I miss you. Life has been boring without you around."
"I thought you died."
"Most people think that you're dead. But you aren't. You're just on the other side of the door. Please let me in."
I shook my head even though I knew he couldn't see. "Ginny Weasley is dead, Harry. I buried her inside of myself two years ago. I'm Alison Clairmore now."
I heard him sigh in frustration; things weren't going the way he'd planned at all. "Gin, please. Come home."
"What about school?"
"We can re-enroll you at Hogwarts to finish out your last year. It won't be hard."
"No, what about school here?"
"You want to finish Muggle schooling?"
"I don't know. I think I want to stay here. I don't want things to change."
"Gin, I'm going to take my parents back to the wizarding world. I'm going to re-introduce them to Remus and Sirius. I'm going to take them to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. I'm going to find them a house in Hogsmeade. Things are going to change even if you don't want them to. Make the most of it."
Tears flooded my vision and constricted my throat. I was going to lose everything all over again. I heard him get up and shuffle down the stairs and soon afterwards voices drifted up from the kitchen. Trying to clue myself in, I opened the door and sat in the doorway. The first prominent was my mum's, or really Lily Potter's.
"I want nothing more but than to go back and be with everyone again. To be with my son, but Alison."
My father interrupted her. "Her name is Ginny."
I could almost see the expression of incredulously on my 'mum's' face. "Her schooling isn't finished, her friends and surrogate family are here. We can't uproot her, you saw how she reacted today."
Once again, my father interjected. "I want my daughter back. Today. She needs to go home and be with her mother, her father, and her brothers. You have no right to keep her from us."
Dumbledore made a few soothing sounds that might have made more sense if I'd been downstairs. But as it was I was upstairs listening in on everyone else trying to decide my life for me.
"Listen, everyone, this isn't easy for any of us. I suggest we all go home, get a good night's sleep and return to discuss this with Alison or Ginny, however you may know her. Arthur, Harry, come now, we'll return around noon tomorrow."
I heard three distinctive pops and the trio was gone. Something held me to that doorway, to listen a little longer. Once again, it was my 'mum' that I heard first.
"Oh James, what are we going to do? I love Alison, but Harry. Did you see him, James? He's grown up so wonderfully and he looks just like you. I want to know him; I want to know how he drinks his tea and what his favorite color is. I want to know how he grew up and what his greatest fears are."
My heart palpitated and I started to feel guilty. I kept them from knowing Harry all of these years. Granted that I hadn't a clue that they were Lily and James Potter and that I'd thought that Harry was dead, but it was still my fault. They lost even more precious time with the son they never knew because of me.
"Lils, we will know him. Just because we love Alison doesn't mean we can't love him. Everything will be okay, it'll all work out. What do you say you and I head on up to bed now?"
After shutting off the lights and locking the doors, the two ambled up the stairs hand in hand. They froze upon seeing me, neither one looked like they knew what to say to me. So, I said something to them.
"I think we need to go home."
~*~
Author's Notes: I'm feeling pretty sad. why? This chapter makes me sad for some reason or another. Anyway, more will be up soon (let's keep our fingers crossed). Oh, and Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. Maybe I'll get the full rights and titles in my Easter basket! What do you guys think?
