Yes, I know, it's another one of those stupid Lily/Snape stories. There's hundreds more, exactly like this one. I wrote this because I was watching a really sad movie about love and the whole mushy stuff when the lady dies and the guy hugs her and yells, "WHY? WHYYYY?"

Yep. I'm pathetic. Review it if you want, I'm not expecting too many (if any) reviews for this, because it's a story I wrote for me, and I decided to post it on here in case anybody felt like reading it. If that's possible. :P Yep.

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Dear Diary,

I'm writing in you now because I have many secrets, and you're the only one who I know that will keep them.

My life has taught me many things.

It taught me that love is heartless and cruel. That love is untrustworthy and deceitful.

Love destroyed my life. It killed my soul. It killed her.

But it saved him.

His life was spared because of her love; her love for him... and another. Not me.

I will never forget her. Every time I look into his eyes, she stares back at me. That furious glare of his also belongs to her.

Every time she glares at me, glaring from out of the boy, it tears my heart. If my heart could possibly be torn any more.

But I will turn myself away from the pain. I will be like ice... frozen, cold, numb. I shall not feel any emotions from this point, I shall have the sense of touch in my skin and that is the only feeling I will ever have from this point onwards.

Yet... will I ever shake off the feeling for her?

No. My love for her will never fade, and I can't make it. It would be like trying to make my fingers grow claws, like trying to make my head shrink, or to make my hatred of him, the other, to leave...

The colour of my house fits perfectly. Green... the colour of envy. Jealousy.

I do not deny that I was jealous of him. Jealousy is an insignificant word to what I felt.

The insane jealousy kindled a hatred so feirce that if a lion was to come to it, face-to-face, it would cower and retreat.

That hatred has not died...

But he has. He is gone, so why does his memory torment me still? Why does that moment that I hated him the most come back to me, over and over?

Because he said it so bluntly, truly.

"She hates you."

No, she never loved me. I knew that... though I always denied it.

When I die, will I see her again? Will I be forced to live an eternity of watching her and James, side-by-side?

I will find out when I go.

But for now, that won't be for a long time. I plan to live for as long as my years will stretch, and longer.

I will never forget her.

But for now, I am ice.

-Severus

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If you've read all the way down to here (oh wow!) you may as well review, right? ^^;;;

Yeah, whatever. No nasty comments that'll make me go red and feel stupid, please.