Things quieted down quite a bit since the incident that destroyed half the countryside due to Kurumi's dark side. Afterward, Zataku, the god of demons, destruction and trickery thought about his strength level long and hard. True, he was supposed to be the greatest god humanity had ever seen and the reincarnation of the very first demon that ever lived, but unless he figured out how to use that power, he was practically useless. Then, it finally came to him. He could learn his opponents' attacks just by watching their movements and how they used their magic/energy. So, he set off in search of powerful fighter, may they demon, god, human, or otherwise, he pledged that he would learn everything they had to offer.

That would have worked out fine, but Zataku had forgotten about someone: his girlfriend, Kurumi. She wasn't too happy about his leaving, having only said where he was going via note. Instantly, her imagination ran wild. He could have been having an affair with someone else, or maybe he thought that she wasn't mature enough! Thousand of other possibilities ran through her mind while Zataku was off taking notes under some of the greatest warriors that ever lived.

He journeyed far and wide, seeking out strong fighters. He trained under everyone who had even a modest reputation. From a three-eyed fire demon with a bad attitude named Hiei Jaganshi to someone with a completely opposite personality named Goku. Goku was strong, and taught him attacks like the solar flare, the kamehameha wave, and the almighty spirit bomb that could blow up a small nation with enough energy, and, to top it all off, was really quite a nice person. He learned martial fighting skills from a man known merely as Samurai Jack, how to focus his senses to hear and see things many miles away from another demon named Sesshomaru, and to pour all of his energy into one strike to rip an enemy in half from a young boy in middle school named Yusuke Urameshi.

Needless to say, he traveled all over Japan searching for techniques, and had seen a great deal of strange things. But nothing could prepare him for came when he arrived back home.

Zataku looked quite different from the last time he was here. He had a cross-shaped scar of one cheek and on part of his eye, his black shirt and jeans were replaced by thick, baggy silk white robes red at his left shoulder and both wrists, which sagged to his kneecaps. He wrapped his tail twice over his shoulder and once around his forearm as usual, and his eyes were much more serious than his usual "laugh-at-chaos" attitude. He appeared to fly up the steps using his old levitation spell, and landed, soundlessly at the top of the massive hill near the shrine entrance. It was night, but the lights were still on inside, showing that they were still up.

"Hope they're still around. It's been over a year and a half since I left. Ah, how I miss her. Time to make a dramatic entrance as usual" He walked to the door, and knocked.

He heard Nakahito say," I'll get it"

As he slid open the door, Zataku smiled down at him, though not so much as Nakahito had grown since Zataku had left, and said," Hey, Preacher boy. I'm back"

"Zataku?! Where were you all this time? Kurumi thinks you died or something!"

"What? I left you guys a note though. In fact, I gave it to... Karinka," he growled at the end of his sentence, and a small bolt of lightning formed in his hand as he shut his eyes in fury. "Why that little bitch! She never gave you my note! I trusted her!"

"M... Master? Is that you?"

"Guess who's back from a year and a half of training? I gave Karinka a note so that you would know where I was but she didn't... Uh oh" Kurumi came running at him, intending to hug him very tightly indeed, but, for some reason, she slid right through him, and almost lost her balance. "Master? What happened?"

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. It's one of my news skills. I can turn ethereal for a brief moment, and nothing physical can affect me. Want to see some more tricks?" For a couple of minutes, he demonstrated everything he had learned. From doppelgangers to instant teleportation to hiding in the astral realm for both visual and physical protection. But, for the last, he had to go outside.

The bandages he had on his right arm shredded as he concentrated all the evil around him and inside him into one large burst. Black flames began to spiral around his arm, and he screamed," DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!!!" The flames moved so that they looked like a large serpent with its mouth ready to consume everything in front of it, and rushed forward. Trees, stumps, insects, and other wildlife were consumed instantly by the ravenous hunger of the dragon. When all was quiet, Zataku had found that he had not only cleared a path in the forest, but had also split a nearby mountain in two. Then, he collapsed to one knee.

"Master! Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Actually, this is better than when I first tried it. Then, I blew my own arm off, but I've been walking since early this morning, so I could use some rest. I'm tired. Bone weary," Zataku said with a suggestive smile.

As he walked back into the shrine, he thought," It's as though I never left. I love it here. However, I have a feeling I'll be seeing someone I love even more in a few moments. If not, I'll just dream send for her"

Zataku waited for a little while, and looked to the sliding paper door as it opened. Kurumi stood there, dressed in her evening kimono, and was blushing.

"Ah, my angel. Come here. Sit with me. Share in my wisdom," Zataku said, showing that he was, indeed becoming a very fine god. She sat down next to him, and smiled. "How long has it been since we last just talked like this? One year? Maybe two?"

"It's been a year and a half, and I'm so glad you're back, Master!" Kurumi answered, latching herself onto his arm.

"I've seen many things and met many people, but never once did I forget about you, my love. I never spent a day without thinking about you. Did you know that even though my teachers sometimes didn't allow it, I kept your picture at my bedside every night?"

"You... You really did that, master?"

"Not only that. I dreamt of you using far sight. I kept watch over you from afar, but now that you are back with me, I don't have to dream just to see you. Kurumi, can I kiss you?"

"You want to kiss me? Oh, master..." she was cut-off however, but Zataku pressing his lips against hers. His hand went to the back of her head, and he caressed her hair with his claws. His love for her hadn't faded, but, to the contrary, it had grown.

He moaned when Kurumi's hands accidentally stroked the base of his tail.

"What is it, master?" Kurumi panted with excitement and passion.

"When you touched my tail... It felt really really good"

"You mean like this?" she asked, seductively as she rubbed the very tip of his fluffy tail.

"My god. That was the first time I nearly passed out when I wasn't in battle," Zataku replied, growing more and more aroused. He attacked her with a deep kiss, tongue and all.

The other residents of the shrine tried to ignore the moans of pleasure coming from Zataku's room, but Karinka found it too much.

She banged on the door, and yelled," Hey! People are trying to sleep! They don't want to hear you two all night long! Hey, are you listening! Freak show, I know you can hear me! Knock it off!"

Zataku, as he was kissing Kurumi, took one of his hands and placed it on the floor. It glowed slightly as he forced veins of mystical power, unaltered as of yet by the elements, and focused it right under Karinka. With a flash of light, the piece of ground she was standing on exploded, sending her through the roof, and into the sky where she disappeared with a twinkle.

"Another thing I miss. Now, back to business" Zataku thought as he continued to have fun in that "adult" way he was so fond of.

The next day, Zataku was awakened by someone angrily yelling," Hey! Anybody home?" He sleepily got up, his upper robes lying down on his knees, and exposing a surprisingly muscular physique.

He walked to the door, and asked, rubbing one eye," What is it? Holy shit!!!" Outside stood almost two hundred steel angels." I didn't even know this many of you existed!"

"Kaga!" Kurumi said, still in her night clothes," Hello, everyone. What brings you out here?"

"We've decided to take Zataku back and make him our new master," Kaga, who stood at the front of the horde, said.

"Like hell!" Zataku said.

Kurumi followed up," I don't like the sound of this at all!"

"We want his essence," Kaga said, and Tsunami, who stood to her right, continued.

"And for that, all he has to do is kiss us"

Kurumi shrieked in fright, and said," I don't think so! The only angel touching master's lips is me! So back off!"

"And I do not have a problem with that!" Zataku agreed.

"And why should you get him?" Kaga asked, unrelenting," I believe that we should all get a chance to be the ultimate steel angel" Behind her, Zataku heard cries of "Yeah! And "You go, Kaga!" and even some of" I'm tired of this! Let's kick some ass!"

"Well, you're going to have to get me to agree to it first, so don't expect me to go easy on ya!" Zataku said, menacingly, flexing his claws and making cracking noises as he moved his wrists.

"Oh good god, stop being so selfish, you little coward, and pucker up!"

"Let's see. I have tow choices here. I can A) never agree to anything and maybe live through the experience or B) I can kiss you an almost certainly get killed by Kurumi. Ummm.... I pick A"

"Excuse me, but perhaps I can be of assistance," Kamihito, who had just came out, said," Because as a priest and having the same kind of powers as Zataku, I would be more than willing to kiss each and every one of you in his place"

"Yeah yeah! I like that idea! Go, priest! Go, priest!"

"If you refuse us, we will take him by force, Kurumi," Kaga said, equally as menacing as Zataku's best day.

"Over my steel body!" Kurumi said, angrily.

As the angels got ready to fight, a voice from the back of the crowd yelled," Stop it!" It turned out to be Nadeshiko, who had appeared at the last minute," I'm here to settle this before it gets out of hand. Everyone. Steel angels should not fight each other like this."

"This is not my decision," Kaga said, facing her.

"If I am to protect master's lips from these harlots, I have no choice but to fight!"

"And I don't wanna die!" Zataku agreed.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I see you've already made up you're minds on this. So, then, fight you must. On my terms! The one who gets Zataku won't be decided in battle, but as steel angels in a competition of wits!"

"That's fine by me!" Kaga said.

"Will I live though?"

"Bring it on, headband!" Kurumi said, still holding onto Zataku.

Later, Kamihito yelled to the crowd," Okay, ladies, are you ready?"

"Yeah!" A thousand answers replied.

"Who wants to kiss Zataku?"

"I do!" A thousand hands came up.

"Alright, everybody, prepare to begin the qualifying round! And, for this competition, I can offer you my assurance that Zataku will not use his powers to interfere, and he will not get away! Look for yourselves!" The angels looked to a steel cage covered with written magical seals that held Zataku prisoner.

"Waah!!! Not fair!" he whined, pressing up against the bars, trying to escape. His powers couldn't escape the barrier and couldn't affect it in anyway either.

"You will asked questions about our eligible bachelor! Answer with an O for yes, and an X for no" Behind the steel angels were two signs painted, An X and an O, rather crudely onto two large tarps. "Incorrect answers result in immediate disqualification. Only five contestants will be in the finals! Got it?"

"Kurumi! Please, for the love of god, WIN!!!!! And get me out of here!"

"Well, is everybody ready?" Kamihito asked, motivationally.

"Not so fast!" came a voice from the top of the shrine," You can't start without me!" Another contestant, a black haired woman wearing an old "Mask of the phantom" style disguise, and a red skirt.

"Who are you?" Kamihito asked.

"I am the masked steel angel, Yaoi!"

"Does such an angel exist?" Kaga asked Kaori.

"Don't know. Maybe professor Walski made a new one"

Moments later, the true or false question began. Kamihito asked," Okay, true or false. The first thing Zataku washes in a bath in his hair"

"What the hell kinda question is that, you bastard priest!? I swear when I get out of here, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Zataku screamed, infuriated. Half the angels went with true while the other with false.

"Hmm... Our contestants look evenly divided. Zataku, the correct answer please"

"How the hell did you even get that information? Do you watch me while I bathe?! You fucking faggot!!! (Sigh) True" Then, he looked at the true icon where there were many angels jumping up and down in their victory, and thought," Good. Kurumi got it right. She should know anyway. She does wash my hair. But, I must be prepared for the worst, as master Hiei said. Hmm... Kaga might be so bad, and Kaori and Tsunami wouldn't be hell. Kurumi's kiss is paradise. And... What is Karinka doing in there? The rest of these freaks, I don't even know by name. (Sigh) This sucks"

"Question two! Zataku can or can't travel to astral realm at any time he wishes?" The angels he knew and a few others stuck with O while Kaori and the others he didn't went with X.

"Zataku! Answer!"

"I'm am so going to kick your ass! But, I have to say true. Too bad it can't get me out of this cage though. Kurumi! Toss me a file!"

"Aw, this sucks," Kaori said, walking away.

"Third and final question! What is Zataku addicted to? Caffeine or sugar? Caffeine is O and Sugar is X" All but Kurumi, Tsunami, Karinka, Kaga, and Yaoi went with X. " Zataku?"

"It's caffeine, you dimwits! I'm addicted to caffeine, and I'm not ashamed to admit it! Hey, preacher boy! Get me some coffee, will ya?"

"We have our five qualifying contestants Let's see how good you girls are at cards!"

"What?" Zataku yelled, then sipped his coffee.

"The game is similar to old maid. Except, instead of Jokers, we have six Zataku cards" The angels sat down at a table that suddenly appeared form out of nowhere.

Zataku bitched," Where in the six hells did you get those cards, you bastard!? Are you obsessed or something?"

"Oh. I don't want to give them to anyone! But, wait, I'll loose if I don't," Kurumi thought.

Karinka thought," I can't wait to get rid of these! Oh yeah, I'll be the winner!"

"Everybody's after my Zataku card," thought Yaoi, but then she looked left and then right and then stuffed her Zataku card inside her pocket.

"Well, if I look carefully, he is kind of cute," Kaga thought as she looked at the picture of Zataku looking over his tailless shoulder, scowling, as usual, with his arms crossed. Tsunami suddenly grabbed her Zataku card and everybody else's, and tossed them into a pile.

She cried," I'm all out! I'm the winner!"

"No. I'm afraid you loose"

"What? But why? I'm the one who got rid of everything first!" she protested.

"I never said that was how you won the game"

"What?" Tsunami pouted.

Zataku laughed, and said," You idiot"

"And you shut up! I was so close too!" she pouted.

"Hey! Tsunami! I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes, eh? You a natural red head or what?"

"Why you son of a...!" she cried, preparing to crack open the cage like an egg and rip him to shreds.

"Yeah. That's it. Get me out of the cage, sweetie, and I'll give you your reward"

"Stop. He's trying to trick you. If he's out of there, we'll never track him down"

"Shut the fuck up, priest!"

"Oh, so that's what you were trying to do. Well, maybe I'll show you later, Zataku"

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Zataku cried as he pounded his head into the bars.

"Now, for the ultimate test of skill. Rock, paper, scissors!" Kamihito said, enthusiastically.

"You gotta be kiddin` me," Zataku said, looking at the priest like he was insane.

"Who will the goddess of victory smile upon?"

"Ha! A game of skill is something that can be beat!" Kaga thought, smirking.

"1...2...3!" they all said together. Yaoi, Kurumi, and Kaga drew rocks while Karinka drew scissors.

"Ah! No way!" Karinka yelled before being hauled away.

"Yes way! My worst nightmare has been avoided! Yeah!" Zataku cheered.

Then, Kamihito said," Kaga, you're disqualified"

"What?! Why?!" she asked.

"I saw what you did, Kaga. You delayed one millionth of a second so that you could see what the others were going to do before making your choice. So, you're disqualified." Nadeshiko said.

"I was just smart enough to take advantage of my talents as a steel angel! What's wrong with that?"

"You saw the move the others had already made. Unlike in battle, these games have rules"

"Whoa! Even I didn't catch that! Way to go, Nadeshiko!" Zataku yelled, and then thought," Okay, the only two that are left are my sweetheart, Kurumi, who I will get in best-case scenario, and this Yaoi person, whom I don't know. She seems kind of weird, and I feel as if I know her from somewhere. Ah, well"

"Well that... That sucks" Kaga said as she sank to her knees.

"Okay. Nadeshiko, release Zataku!"

"What? There's still two left! I... OW!!!!" Zataku said as he nailed by a spell seal.

"This will just ensure you won't fly away on us or use your powers in any way" Kamihito said.

"I can't get off!" he yelled, tugging at the thin piece of paper at his forehead.

"In our final event, the object is to keep hold of him using all of your mind, soul, and strength!"

"I'm gonna die..." Zataku whispered.

"Ready?" Zataku's pupils shrank as both Kurumi and Yaoi poised to run at him as fast as they could. "Go!"

"AHHHHH!!!!" he shrieked, but before he could even turn around (he didn't have demon speed anymore) he was hit by a blur of pink.

"Damn it!" Yaoi cursed.

"Oh, thank you, Kurumi! Thank you for not letting her kill me!"

"Hey! This isn't so bad after all!" Kurumi said.

"Speak for yourself!" Then, Yaoi took this sort of wrinkly collar thing from around her neck, detached it, and hurled it at Kurumi, knocking Kurumi off her feet. Zataku fell, but was caught a moment later by Yaoi. He looked behind him as his mysterious captor ran, and got a look at some prime Kurumi panties as her skirt completely folded up thanks to gravity.

"It outta take her a little while to recover from that!" leaping onto the temple roof.

"Who are you?" Suddenly, Kurumi blurred overhead, and landed at the roofing ahead, looking very pissed off. "Kurumi!" Zataku shouted, happily.

"You're not the only one who knows how to jump!" Yaoi scoffed before ascending into the air. Kurumi leapt as well, and, in mid-air, reclaimed Zataku. However, she lost her footing, and sent both Zataku and herself sliding down the slanted top of the shrine, and into the main area. Then, she rebounded off this gateway thing that hung over the shrine entrance, and landed in front of two empty silhouettes of his face. Puzzle pieces laid nearby, and then Zataku understood what to do.

"Hang on there, Master. This should only take a moment!" Kurumi said, setting him down gently. She picked up the pieces, and seemed to plaster them on at random. "There. It's finished," she said, sure of herself. However, it looked like Picasso had tried to do it.

"That doesn't even look anything like me!" the powerless demon god yelled. Then Yaoi caught up, and tried her hand at the puzzle. She picked up the pieces, and put them in the perfect position. At this point, Zataku began to doubt his chances at staying with Kurumi. Kurumi tried to imitate Yaoi, but she did it badly. Clearly, her intellect wasn't her strong point. Yaoi completed it first, and took off , dragging Zataku by the tail with no more than a "see ya!"

"Don't leave, master!" Kurumi cried, and then hastily tried to complete it the best way she knew how: brute force. She punched it where it didn't fit, and, amazingly, this seemed to work.

Zataku slid along the ground, dazed as hell as his tail held a lot of nerve ending and this wasn't very comfortable for him.

"Master!" Kurumi yelled, but he didn't honestly hear her. All that he knew was that she picked him up, ripped his tail out of Yaoi's hands, and ran really really fast.

Then, they came up to the final stretch, and also the hardest: the temple steps. Zataku usually levitated around these, but this time, he couldn't help.

As she was going up, she suddenly slipped on the cracking step, and lost him. He flew up into the air, and landed in Yaoi's arms.

"Don't worry! I've got you!" she said.

"That's what I'm worried about!" Zataku said, as though he didn't have full control over his body yet.

"I'm here!" Kurumi yelled.

"Aw, you again?!" Kurumi grabbed Zataku's body while Yaoi hung onto his tail. This was extremely painful for him, and he cried out. Then, Kurumi released him, and, due to the tension on his tail, he flew back to Yaoi. With a final burst of speed, Yaoi went through the final checkpoint, the gateway arch over the path, and landed on top of him. Zataku landed looking like a deformed starfish. His arms formed a star, and his tail, no longer fluffy from abuse, hung off to the side. In all honesty, he looked like he had been through hell.

"No! She's kissing him already!" Kurumi yelled.

"Oh, stop panicking. I'm not going to kiss him. "

"But..."

"Ow... I don't think I've ever hurt this bad"

I couldn't take his lips after seeing what you did for him. You couldn't bring yourself to hurt him even if it meant losing him forever. That shows compassion that I didn't have"

"Not bad for an army spy"

"What?! You mean you knew?!" Yaoi exclaimed.

"Of course, silly. How could I possibly forget those pretty legs of yours?"

"Uh... Okay"

"What? A human?!" Tsunami yelled," This was supposed to be a competition between steel angels only! Let's start over!"

"If we did start over, the results would be the same," Nadeshiko said.

"What?!"

"Kurumi did not derive her power from Zataku's kiss, but form his love. The only one fit to be the master of a steel angel is the one who is the master of his heart. No one. Not even a steel angel can reach their full potential without this. Today's contest was designed so that Zataku's true companion would be shown"

"Excuse me? Even rock, paper, scissors?" Karinka questioned. Nadeshiko merely smiled at this. Zataku, weakly got to his feet, and looked at Kurumi. Even after all that had happened to him; even after all the trouble she brought to his doorstep; even after the time he spent away from her, he still loved her as much as he ever did.

"Kurumi... I..."

"Zataku. I love you so much!" Kurumi squealed, hugging him tightly. However, his injured and very sensitive tail got in the way somehow, and was crushed with him

His eyes went wide, along with a sort of crunch noise as the bones snapped out of alignment, and he yelled loud enough for anyone to hear for miles around," OOOOOOOWWWWAWWWW!! GOD DAMNIT, THAT HURTS!!!!!"