Title: Four Weeks Missing
Author: MJ (melodie@spiritedsoccer.com)
Rating: PG
Timeframe/Spoilers: One month after Sydney's disappearance in "The Telling." Various light spoilers from season 2.
Genre: Vignette, angst
Summary: Kendall reflects on the last month, and the search for Sydney Bristow.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except the OC. All due credit goes to the creators of Alias.

Notes: My first completed piece of fan fiction. Constructive criticism and feedback is craved! :) Please ask if you wish to archive. Thanks to SpecialAgent HA from AliasBoards for betaing.


Four Weeks Missing

Kendall sank wearily into the comfort of the leather chair in his office. It was late and his desk was unusually cluttered with four weeks worth of paperwork, decorated with colored sticky notes. Scattered amidst the piles of paper were a dozen empty coffee cups and half eaten sandwiches wrapped in plastic.

He rested his elbows on the desk and let his head fall into his hands. Four weeks worth of following lead after lead, none of them ever turning up any inkling of Sydney Bristow's location. It was like she had never existed.

The last month at Headquarters had been hell. Kendall had only been home twice, both times he had barely walked in the door and lain on the bed to sleep when he was called back with a possible lead. After the second time he'd taken to living out of his office.

For four weeks missions had been organized on the fly, with rescue teams being sent across the world to South Africa, New Zealand, Scotland and any other location that might possibly contain Sydney Bristow.

Four weeks, and each location had turned out empty of people and any further information.

This wasn't the first time an agent under Kendall's command had gone missing or been killed. But this time it was particularly hard to deal with. Usually a death or kidnapping happened during a mission or undercover work. Sydney had been snatched from the safety of her own home.

It wasn't just that, Sydney Bristow had dealt with more emotional trauma during her few years with the CIA than any other agent Kendall had known. Betrayed by her mother, her fianceĊ½ murdered, best friends killed and kidnapped...nobody should ever have to go through that amount of suffering, especially in this line of work.

Not a minute of the last four weeks had passed without a feeling of guilt. Both Sloane and Derevko had yet again slipped through the CIA's fingers in Mexico City during Sydney's last mission. He'd stormed to his office after the confirmation of Derevko's escape, fuming.

Back then he couldn't shake the feeling that this had been their last chance to catch the two fugitives. Now he felt guilty for not taking precautions and having Sydney stay at headquarters for a while.

He felt guilty for all the blunders that had kept the CIA from capturing Sloane. He felt guilty each time he sat down with Jack Bristow, Vaughn, Dixon, and Weiss in the briefing room. Or when he passed Tippin and Flinkman in the hall. They all looked like walking dead, grief, worry and exhaustion etched in their faces. He should have been able to prevent this.

Everyone in the office had been affected by Sydney's disappearence. She had only a few close friends, but had been liked and admired by most everyone. Himself included, even though most of his agents would probably think differently.

Kendall was well aware of his reputation around the office, everyone thought he was a pig-headed, protocol worshipping fiend. He didn't blame them, he was difficult to get along with. Especially if you liked to bend the rules.

Jack Bristow was one who liked to shatter the rules - frequently. Kendall had half expected Jack to leave the CIA and become a free agent with the ability to use any possible means to find his daughter. But he hadn't yet, and it was increasingly apparent that this ordeal could kill him.

Jack was a man who had spent years wearing a virtually emotionless mask. Now, it was like watching a soap opera run on Jack's face. It was painful to watch guilt and worry eat away at someone Kendall respected so much, however often they ended up with differing viewpoints.

They'd struck up a twisted sort of friendship, Jack and Kendall. After Jack's brief stint as Director, they'd come to an understanding. They both wanted to protect Sydney, to get her out of espionage quickly. While she still had the chance to build a normal life.

A normal life, now there was a novel thought. For just a moment, Kendall allowed himself to slip out of his cold, bright office, and imagine what it would be like to be normal again. He could resign and move to an island, somewhere where nobody knew him. Change his name, hell, he could buy a wig and have hair again. Forget about former KGB agents, paperwork, Bristow's and Rambaldi - it sounded like paradise.

A sharp knock followed by the opening of the door broke the fantasy. A young dark haired woman paused in the doorway, file in hand.

"Mr. Kendall? I have this week's activity summary." Kendall raised his head and folded his hands in front of him. His moment for vulnerability had passed.

"Leave it on my desk." The woman moved to obey, she looked like everyone else, tired and worn. She had probably worked at least a hundred hours this week alone.

"Miss Cranell, when was your last day off?"

Surprised by the question, the woman stuttered, "I...I don't remember, sir."

"Four weeks." Kendall answered his question for her. "I want you to finish whatever you were working on and go home. Take two days off, then I want you to report back here at 7 a.m. Wednesday."

Shocked, Tracey Cranell stared at her superior. "But sir, I thought our focus was finding Age-" Kendall cut her off.

"Work out a schedule so the other aids and agents can take time off, too. I want at least two people going home every day, starting tomorrow. You're excused." Tracey nodded and moved to leave.

"Oh, and Miss Cranell, be sure you use your time off wisely." Kendall said, then he softened his voice just a hint, "I won't have my agents underperforming because of exhaustion."

Tracey turned and gave him a half smile before closing the door. Kendall felt a little better than when he'd sat down, at this point it was silly to keep running his people into the ground when every lead had been fruitless. If he needed them, he would call them back. But only if necessary.

Kendall opened the new file and scanned its contents, skipping over the missions report and finally coming to the personnel report. Six agents are still in the hospital with injuries sustained during a raid conducted five days ago, all are in stable condition. Agent Joseph B. Thomas, killed in action during an op two days ago. Agent Raymond E. Yanar, two days missing - rescue scheduled for Monday morning, 2 a.m., Pacific Time.

And then the name he wished wasn't on this report again, Agent Sydney M. Bristow, four weeks missing - location currently unknown, possibly killed in action. Frowning, Kendall crumpled the report and threw it in the waste basket. It would only be a matter of days before it was suggested that Sydney's contact codes be changed for security reasons.

Punching a button on his phone, Kendall scowled up at the ceiling. "Miss Cranell? I want you to put a lock on all of Sydney Bristow's codes. They are not to be changed or deleted for any reason unless I am contacted first." He slammed the receiver back down before he could hear her response. He'd be damned if he gave up on Sydney after just four weeks.