I've always been told not to take what's not mine. GW is not mine. However, I was not told not to borrow what's not mine.
Ironic
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Chapter VII - Resolve
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Relena looked on the ground in vain and sighed. She overheard their whole conversation in her adjoining office. Without thinking, she burst into the study, where she found Quatre slumped in her settee. She kneeled by his side, taking his hand. "She swore me to secrecy, but I can't let her do this to you anymore." Quatre only sighed in reply. He was not surprised that Dorothy was keeping secrets from him.
"Dorothy never married, or never will marry Nicholas. Like Dorothy, he is in love with someone else. Natalia was the chauffeur's daughter and Nicholas knew that his mother would never permit their romance to continue, especially with his status and his marriage arrangement with Dorothy," she began.
"Why should I care if he loved someone else anyway? She would have married him anyway despite of what they feel about each other," he said, his eyes remaining on the ground. He was lying though and he knew it. He did care.
He considered marrying someone else just to spite her, but the thought caused him more pain. He would wait for her his whole life even if she found someone else. She was unlike any woman he ever met. She gave him both pleasure and pain at the same time. He was annoyed at himself to admit that he enjoyed it. He allowed himself to be lied to and used as she saw fit.
"That's not all, Quatre," Relena pointed out.
"Save it, what you're going to say is going to make me stupidly follow her to wherever she's going," he muttered.
"Regardless of the risks, Dorothy arranged to put Nicholas on a midnight train with Natalia," she gave his hand a soft squeeze; "she gave him up."
Looking up for the first time, Quatre opened his mouth to speak. "She gave him up? ...The title, the money, the prestige?" As much as he wanted to believe it, he couldn't. He had given himself so much false hope that he could no longer have an optimistic outlook on anything.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," Relena said softly.
"Still, Dorothy is no saint." Quatre was so angry at Dorothy that he refused to believe all of this.
Relena let his hand go, and stood up. She turned around and faced her back to him. "...And there is something else."
"Tell me," he urged.
"She...she secretly--relinquished her position in Romefellar. Romefellar also disbanded a few weeks after her resignation. She intends to remain out of the limelight and live a simple life alone..."
"It all sounds too unreal...I don't see why she did all of this."
Relena chuckled. "Dorothy has always been a mystery."
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Relena pulled the covers around her shivering body, after she closed her balcony doors shut. She forced her eyelids shut, but somehow she couldn't help but contemplate about the events that happened that day. She could feel a dark figure creep into the room, but she coerced herself to keep her eyes closed. She felt cold hands on her body and opened her eyes to look at him and opened her mouth to speak.
"How was your day, love?" she whispered audibly as he leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her lips.
"Quite interesting," was his mumbled reply.
She smiled, pulling him down to lay on the bed with her. She rested her head on his chest and entwined her fingers with his. She could stay in that position forever if she only could. But there was a great burden placed upon her. She knew her feelings for the ex-Gundam soldier would be deemed unacceptable.
"Heero, we were so cold – you and I. I can't believe I let it go as far as it did."
"I don't know how I ended up caring for you, especially when you stopped. The thought of you marrying someone else made me go nuts."
She rose up to stare at him. She cupped his face in her hands and traced his features blindly in the moonlight.
"How could you think that?" Relena's fingers separated from Heero's face. She sounded disappointed as she spoke to him.
Heero quickly pulled her against him, holding her close, touching her with the gentleness he never thought he possessed. He couldn't be more wrong.
"Your attitude towards me changed...you no longer sought to start conversations with me, and I could clearly see that you would be cold with me and friendly towards other people."
"That was the past. We must learn to live with it now...I didn't mean to...I just...I just..."
"Shh...I know."
He hushed her stuttering with soothing, gentle shushes. He cupped her face in a way that he felt as if he was touching soft butterfly wings. Her cheeks began to heat up in response to his touch.
"Heero, I wish I could have told you. It's just that you didn't give me reason to have the courage to show or tell you."
Heero kissed her. He was sorry he led her to believe that she was a fool. He was sorry that she had to lower herself to a cold-hearted killer like him. He knew their love would be disapproved of by society. A symbol of peace like her should have no business with an assassin like him.
"Being with you...feels like reality. Just one look at you wipes away the rotten memories of blood and death. You make it seem like it was all just a bad dream. You have that kind of effect on me, Relena. It's funny," he said as he smiled bitterly, still holding her close.
"What is?"
"I've survived gunshots, explosion, detonation, and yet you, who cannot shoot a gun have the power to let me fall at your feet with a single touch, it's funny how a soldier like me can be narrowed down to nothing by someone like you...by a so-called dove of peace like you."
He could see the corners of her mouth tug into a smile through the dark.
"You should write a song," she whispered before capturing his lips in a kiss.
Soon the kiss grew deeper than they ever intended it to be and Relena surprised by climbing on top of him, shifting her weight on him. Heero's mind told him that this was all going too fast but he was fully engulfed by the feel of her lips on his. He found himself paralyzed, and soon his mind could no longer create coherent thoughts on what was right and what wasn't. All that mattered during that time, that moment, was to hold her, kiss her, and feel her. He had waited too long for this. He had denied himself of her for so long. He could hardly believe that he went by without this, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. He knew that this time he couldn't leave her. He couldn't imagine living his life without her.
After all, she was the one who breathed life into him.
He cupped her face in his hands as they kissed. He could feel her hands palming his chest underneath his shirt. He was losing control of the situation because to his surprise, his hands ran down from her face down to her neck, shoulders, and back until he reached her thighs. His hands caressed the back of her thighs before moving them up and underneath her nightgown. His hands then roamed up to touch her back and in response to that, her other hand roamed down to the waistband of his pants, her fingers encircling the rim before starting to unbutton it. He caught her hand before she could cause him any more delicious pain.
Heero managed to muster the strength to pull away from her. He forced her to look at him as their foreheads touched.
"I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later."
"I've wanted this for a long time," she whispered breathlessly.
"Are you sure?"
She caught his lips with hers in response to his question. Heero found himself unable to argue as he kissed her harder than he did before. They came closer to the flame these days and she seemed to want to touch it more than he did. She made it harder for him to restrain himself and now there was no turning back especially now that she made it clear that she wanted it to happen. And it did. She took him to pleasures unknown and heights undiscovered. No other woman could make him feel this way. He made sure that no other woman would be even given a chance. He just hoped that what she felt for him would go far more than gratitude for saving her life or a teenage infatuation that she never recovered from.
Much later, he ran his knuckles on the side of her bare arm, thinking she was already asleep. She had her back towards him and she said no more. He never said sorry when he caused her pain mainly because he was too absorbed by the state of ecstasy she put him through. His fingers ran down her arm and he rested on her stomach, and his fingers began creating a series of lazy swirls by her belly button.
"I'm in love with you, Relena. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he whispered, trying to summon up the courage to tell her when she's awake.
Suddenly, she turned, startling him. She wasn't supposed to hear until he had perfected it.
"Oh Heero," she whispered as she gave him a pained smile. Her fingers slowly caressed his cheek. He was hurt to see that expression on her face.
"Forget it. You weren't supposed to hear. I knew all along that you can't possibly...and yet I gave myself false hope," he bitterly said as he pried her fingers away from his face.
"No Heero, you misunderstood. I appreciate you saying that and I want to, too, it's just that don't you think it's too soon? We have to let everyone else adjust to the fact that we're together," she argued.
He reached out to entwine his fingers with hers in agreement.
"As much as I hate to admit this, I envy Duo. You'd think I'm crazy but I'd easily give up my guns for diapers. I want lack of sleep because I stayed up all night trying to get my kid to sleep. I want to experience the joy of creating something worth living for. But I want to share this kind of life with you. It's not happening unless you're in it with me."
Relena smiled.
"Me too, I'm sick of this life. It might be too farfetched, but I want to taste a simple life."
"Look, you don't have to marry me tomorrow, next month, not even next year, not ever if you find someone else, but consider this a pre-proposal; I'm committing myself to you -- even if you find someone else someday. I'll stand by you for the rest of my life, husband or not."
"Heero, don't say that. I don't think I can stand being with a man other than you. But yes, I'll marry you," she said through a quivering lip and eyes sparkling with unshed, happy tears before she sealed the proposal with a kiss.
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Dorothy placed a dozen of fresh red roses on the grave of Treize Kushrenada. A breeze blew by, brushing a bit of Dorothy's white dress.
Treize, you understand why I had to give him up. People died because I practically loved them to death. I had to let him go. I didn't want him to die away like everyone else.
No response answered her plea. The gentle breeze just brushed past her, causing her to shiver a bit.
Had to let him go?
The thought of him and the brief bliss they had before just felt like another surge of pain in her heart every time she tried to reminisce. It just made her regret everything she has ever done and said to hurt him. But somehow, her recollections are all she's ever had...And those recollections are the only ones she has left of him. She found her fingers touching the gold bracelet on her right wrist, gazing upon the complexity of its design...
"You know, there is no other bracelet like that, I had it made it just for you..." he spoke softly, seeing the happiness in her eyes.
She placed a hand on his cheek fixing her eyes on his azure blue orbs. "You know why I love you, Quatre? It's because in spite of everything, you are still so good to me."
He was so good to her, and she only let him suffer for it.
"Miss Dorothy? I believe I-I..." a familiar voice called from behind her.
Her body froze, the way he called her seemed as if he did not know her at all. Unsure of what to do, she spun around, and placed a hand over her large sun hat to prevent it from blowing away.
And then she saw him.
Clad in a white polo shirt and khakis, Quatre had his hands both shoved in his pockets. His mouth was twisted politely in half a smile that resembled a young schoolboy. He was in his mid-twenties now, and he still hasn't lost that boyish charm he had when she met him in Relena's school all those years ago.
How she adored him with all of her heart.
"Quatre Raberba Winner..." His name seemed to linger in her lips.
"Dorothy...I believe I owe you an apology."
She raised an eyebrow.
"...An apology? If it's one of us here who needs to apologize, it's me."
"Relena told me all about the sacrifices you made. She told me you put him on a train with the woman he really loved on it. She also told me that you secretly relinquished your position in Romefellar, and I hurt you because I believed that you were so selfish, but it was the other way. You gave everything up...the title, the once in a lifetime career, and your family legacy. All of that for nothing."
"It ruined my life. Instead of making it better, it controlled my life for me. Everything had to go."
"I don't under--"
"How did you find me here?"
"I always remembered that every Monday morning you would visit your cousin's grave to bring him his red roses, although you always asked me never to come with you. I know it was rude, but I had to see you again and apologize before I leave."
"You're leaving? Where are you going?" she asked, suddenly frantic.
Will I ever see you again?
"I'm leaving for L2 tomorrow. I'm not sure when I'm coming back, if I choose to come back."
Would you care if I came back?
"...But why? What will you do there?" she asked him with a dry mouth.
He looked down on the ground and sighed.
"I can't stay here, Dorothy. There is nothing here for me." He stressed on the word nothing.
But you have me.
"All my life, I desperately tried not to fall in love. I didn't want to, because I've already seen the heartbreak and the sadness all over me... but I meant what I said at the hospital, Quatre. You were my first and my only."
She had no need to say that. He already knew. He felt years younger at the thought of this.
"Someday, Dorothy when I'm gone, will you reserve one day of your week, or one day of your year even just to remember me?"
I will remember to love you every day of my life, Quatre...
"You told me to remember you and the love you had for me and I will do that. But you must remember that we can't get everything back, I ruined all the possibilities of our future together. But if you decide to forget hoping for a future with me as you should, I want you to remember one thing. I want you to know that you've made me happy, Quatre...you made my life start again by saving me that night in Libra."
Love I had for you? Why don't you try have? You've made me happy by saying that I was your only one, Dorothy.
"You're right, Dorothy...what we had is now – unredeemable."
"Yes, there is no reason to dwell in the past anymore. We must move on with our lives, Quatre."
Stop it, Quatre...you know that you can't keep fighting a battle that you have already lost. You were young and you were stupid. Too stupid.
"I suppose I should go," he replied, his eyes traveling down to the ground, looking at his shoes. He could no longer bear having to end it this way. He was going to foolishly fall at a heap at her feet and beg her for a billionth chance to make her happy if he didn't leave now.
"I suppose so too..."
...And with that, he turned around, and walked away quietly. He could not bear to say goodbye to her.
Not this way. Not goodbye.
She looked at his retreating back, promising to herself that if ever he turned back and said her name, she would run to him and never let him go again. Still, he kept walking, and walking...and his figure grew smaller into the distance. She was fighting this urge to chase him and ask him for another chance even though she knew she didn't deserve it.
There goes the love of my life...walking out of my life forever, and I will never see him again.
But then, he did turn back, and he did call her name.
She ran to him quickly, not caring if she stumbled, and he caught her, holding her tight. He spun her around in a circle, lifting her body up. He will never let go. Never again will he let her go and he swore it. She caressed his face as he lowered her back to the ground again, and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her.
"...Why do you have to be so foolish, Dorothy?" he whispered in her hair and repeated, "You're so stupid..."
In reply, she only kissed him, pulling back once in a while to gasp for air or look at his face again.
"I'm so sorry...so sorry for everything! But why do you have to forgive so easily?" she said raggedly between kisses.
"Because Dorothy…every time I try to move on, I think of you," he replied just as breathlessly.
"No...You are the one who is the fool. But that's no longer important to me anymore. You're so good to me Quatre. Sometimes I wonder why I don't feel worthy of deserving it."
He clutched her face in his hands, and looked straight at her eyes like he did before.
"You deserve everything I have to offer because I can't offer it to anyone else. That night when we first danced, I looked at you once and knew that I would devote to you everything I could give. One look made me determined to do that, Dorothy Catalonia."
"But...I was so selfish."
"I knew in my heart that you were exactly what I wanted. Despite of the lies and how much and how you have hurt me so, I still love you."
A frown formed upon her face. She pulled away from him, turning away.
"What will become of us now?" she asked of him, crossing her arms across her chest.
"I don't know Dorothy, I never asked to be your life, I just wanted to be a part of your life somehow," he replied sadly, looking at the heavens for an answer.
The soft wind blew softly between them, causing silence.
"But if you love me now as you say you always have, you'll take my hand and we'll find out together," Quatre said, and thanked the sky for his resolve. He closed his eyes and hoped for a response he'll be happy with.
You chose now...between the man you love or -- the life you have always hated.
She spun around, and it was evident in her eyes that she did not know what to do. Closing her eyes shut, she entwined her fingers with his, and wrapped her arm around his waist. She knew in her heart that despite everything Quatre would take good care of her. She buried her head against his chest. They stood like that for a moment, and he then kissed her hair.
No words were needed nor said as he stepped back and pulled her downhill into the sunset with him.
Forever was theirs now.
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