Disclaimer: Everything in the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury and Warner Brothers. I've made no money writing this.
Archive: Fanfiction.net
Author's note: The song that Dean sings belongs to Neil Diamond.
***
And she'd go there every September 1st, though her husband didn't know it. She would talk to him; tell him everything that she could within the one hour that she allowed herself.
No one was ever there on September 1st, she knew. Most people paid their respects on the anniversary of his death, or his birth. But Ginny knew something that they didn't. Harry never looked forward to his birthday, he didn't celebrate it. It would be foolish of her to visit him on such a date, she told herself, when the only day he looked forward to for seven years, was the first day of school.
September First.
"I'll be back next year." She told the grave yard. "Same day, same time, I promise."
She kneeled down on the grass and put her palm up to the gravestone, dragging her hand against the stone, feeling the engraving that lay there.
Harry James Potter.
Such as simple name for such an extraordinary boy, Ginny had often thought. The boy who had saved her, he was the boy who never grew up.
"You died so young." She said morosely. "Barely eighteen at the time, just a boy, only your story didn't end with fairy dust, did it? I guess I was never a very good Tinkerbelle."
She closed her eyes for strength and pulled her hand away from the headstone, gently.
"I remember when you told me that you felt like you were living on borrowed time. Do you remember that? It was a week before your death. It was so cold that night." Ginny said, shivering. "I- I never got the chance to tell you…. All my life… I thought you were a hero, my hero… but I was wrong."
I was so very wrong.
"That night, when you asked me what I thought of you – I lied. I told you that I thought you were a hero and I should have said – I should have said…."
I should have said that you were a boy.
"I should have said that you just a boy, who lived. I should have told you that, but I didn't. I can't help but feel like, by saying that, I screwed up. Maybe you wouldn't have…."
Maybe you wouldn't have been such an idiot.
"Maybe you wouldn't have sought out Voldemort."
Ginny dragged her eyes away and pushed herself to her feet. She discreetly wiped the tear stains from her face and brushed the grass stains from her knees.
"Dean and I are very happy, you know. Five years in and still very much in love, we are. I had our first baby since I last spoke to you, it's a girl. We named her Lily Thomas… she hasn't shown any signs of magic yet, but we're still hopeful. You gave us that, hope."
Ginny took a deep breath and withdrew it on a whisper, "With your dying breath you took his life, and all there ever was and is, is light, forevermore."
Ginny cleared her throat slightly. "But you weren't a hero. You weren't a missionary or a pawn. You were just, you."
She smiled as group of clouds drifted above her head, spread out on the otherwise blue the sky. "I'll see you next year. Does 11:00 am sound good to you? Great, and who knows, maybe next time I'll be able to tell you about the time that I, er, accidentally saw you in the shower? I think something on a lighter note would be better…."
"How was lunch, Ginny?" Dean asked as she walked back into their office. Dean ran a small newspaper in Hogsmead, and Ginny was their lead reporter.
Ginny gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "How is Lily? Where is she?"
"I put her in the day room with Colin's kids; she's down for a nap." Dean said patiently.
"She'll never get any sleep around those two, they make a racket!" Ginny said incredulously.
"She's fine, Ginny. How was lunch? You're fifteen minutes late, I was beginning to worry, you know that we have that big interview with the new Minister this afternoon, right?"
"Of course I remember the big interview. And lunch was fine." Ginny said as she rummaged through her desk to look for her list of questions. "I'm sorry I ran late, but I had to make an extra stop."
"Where?" Dean asked curiously, before his wife could rush out the door to the Ministry of Magic.
Ginny smiled kindly and just before she shut the door Dean caught her answer.
"…Confession."
"I think that our readers would enjoy knowing why you decided to run for Minister." Ginny said kindly, uncrossing her legs and adjusting the parchment she was writing on.
"I felt that it would be such a disservice to the community if I didn't share my knowledge and skills with them. When Mr. Fudge decided, to step down I felt that it was the ideal time for me to prove that the Ministry could bring order once again to our community, of course it was obvious that I was the only one who could do it." Gilderoy Lockheart flashed Ginny an eye blinding smile and Ginny felt sick to her stomach.
"Yes, well, of course." She reached down into her bag and pulled out a special quill that she had spelled to dictate her interviews. She threw the old quill into her bag and set the parchment on the table that was standing between her and Lockheart. Ginny balanced the tip of the quill on the piece of paper and leaned back.
"Do you feel that the results of the election were fair? I know that there was a lot of controversy surrounding the election itself. Several wizards were found wandering around the poll booths with strong memory charms that had been recently applied."
"Well, now that was a lot of cadswallop if you ask me – which you did. I believe that the Ministry even put out an announcement regarding that, didn't your newspaper receive the memo?"
Ginny sighed, "Yes, we did receive a small letter regarding –.'
"Then I believe that the subject is closed, Mrs. Thomas." Lockheart said flashing another smile.
Ginny managed a weak smile, while fighting the urge to glance down at his wand hand. She was almost positive that she saw it twitch in the direction of his wand. She signaled for another drink and the waitress scrambled forward to fill her glass with Firewhisky.
She drank it in one shot.
"How is it that you recovered from your memory loss, Minister?" Ginny asked quietly, rubbing her throat where she could still feel the after affects of the liquor rushing down.
Lockheart proceeded to explain in very vague detail his cure. It involved a goat of some sort and a motion – or was that a potion, she wasn't sure, but she was confident that her dictation spell had picked up the correct word. It didn't matter – Lockheart was lying through his teeth. Ginny was almost certain that he had bribed some demon to perform one dark ritual or another, and she was willing to bet her life that he had charmed half of the Wizarding World to vote for him, though it didn't actually help that Lucius Malfoy was the only competition. Ginny would rather have thirty Lockheart's in office than one Lucius Malfoy.
She glanced up at Lockheart when she realized that the sound of the quill was absent. From the look of it, he'd been waiting a long time for her to ask another question.
"That was all, Minister. Thank you for the interview – it should be in Monday's edition of NewsMatters." Ginny mumbled as she gathered her parchment and quill. She dumped them into her bag and reached forward to shake the Minister's hand.
***
Ginny woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of crying. Lily, she thought. Bracing herself to get up and lose another night of sleep, she was surprised to feel Dean's side of the bed empty. Worried, she got up and grabbed her robe that was hanging on a hook beside the bed. She wrapped it around her and pulled her flaming red hair out of the way. It was so long now that it caught on almost everything, but she was too busy to have it cut.
She made her way to the nursery half- awake – twice she almost bumped into one of Lily's toys only to catch herself at the last moment. When she reached the door to Lily's room she wasn't too surprised to find her daughter's door open and the faint light of a wand lit with Lumos shining into the hallway.
A soft smile graced her lips, and all thoughts of sleep deprivation fled her mind at the sight before her.
Dean was singing to Lily, who was curled inside of her bassinette. He was in a rocking chair with his arm snaked inside of the small crib, running his hands over their daughter's hair.
"Stay for just a while
Stay, and let me look at you
It's been so long, I hardly knew you
Standing in the door
Stay with me a while
I only want to talk to you
We've traveled halfway 'round the world
To find ourselves again"
Ginny heard a crack of thunder outside and listened as Lily struggled with her blanket, and almost stepped forward from her place in the shadows when Dean fixed the blanket and continued to sing.
"September morn
We danced until the night became a brand new day
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play
September morning still can make me feel this way"
She closed her eyes and listened to Dean's voice, allowing it to wash over her. Trying desperately not to remember the first time he had sung to her, had comforted her like he was doing to her daughter – their – daughter.
"Look at what you've done
Why, you've become a grown-up girl
I still can hear you cryin'
In the corner of your room
And look how far we've come
So far from where we used to be
But not so far that we've forgotten
How it was before"
Ginny took one last look at her husband and Lily before turning around to walk back to their room (carefully avoiding Lily's toys). Dean's voice carried out into the hall and she smiled to herself before closing the door to their bedroom and crawling back into bed.
"September morn
Do you remember how we danced that night away
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play
September morning still can make me feel this way"
Dean was the best husband and father any woman could ever ask for, but Ginny couldn't stop the thought from forming right before she slipped into sleep.
He wasn't Harry.
***
"Hey, it's Ginny, again. I'm doing fine, really I am." Ginny said brushing the tears away from her face and grabbing hold of her hair that was threatening to blow away with the wind. She glanced down at the gravestone and a few more tears fell down her face despite her trying very hard to prevent them. "Lily started Hogwarts yesterday, that's why I'm a day late. I had to see her off and then I wanted to wait for her owl. She's in Slytherin, and no Harry, that isn't why I'm crying. It's different there now; Slytherin hasn't meant evil in a long time. Draco's daughter started yesterday as well, Hermione's son started last year, you know."
She took a deep breath and prayed for the strength to say what she had to say. "I can't come around here anymore." There she said it. It was over, done with – a few more tears fell and she stifled a sob. "I think Dean's noticed, and I don't want to hurt him. I –I think it's time I let go, but I couldn't without saying goodbye. I couldn't without telling you how much I loved you – how much I'll always love you. That year we spent together was the best of my life, and I'll never forget you."
She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. "I think that maybe it's time you let go as well. Everything is safe here; the world doesn't need you to be its protector anymore." Ginny took another deep breath and exhaled shaking. "I don't need you anymore."
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Her tongue flicked over her dry lips and winced as she tasted her salty tears. "Goodbye Harry."
She glanced at the tree that was planted next to the gravestone, and watched wordlessly as the translucent form of Harry Potter glided down in front of her. More tears fell down her face when she noticed the tear streaks on his. He put his hand up to her face and moved his thumb as though he wanted to wipe away her tears. She shivered when his hand fell through her face. Her brown eyes met his gray ones, and she almost started crying all over again at the lack of green in them.
"Do you promise?" He asked his voice cold with misuse.
Ginny swallowed. "Do I promise what?"
"That you don't need me anymore." Harry said, his voice cracking with emotion.
"I promise." Ginny said firmly.
Harry nodded as though none of this were news to him, as though he'd suspected it all along. "What do I do now?"
"You go and be with Ron and Sirius and your parents, Harry. You go and be happy. God knows, you deserve it."
"I'll always need you, Ginny." Harry said, and before she could say anything he was gone in a flash of red and gold light.
She wrapped her arms around her self and cried. She cried until there were no more tears, and then she cried until there was no more sun.
That was where Dean found her, and where he sang to her once more.
