Disclaimers: I do NOT own most of these characters. I DO, however, own
Rebecca Robinson and any other character you DO NOT recognize. I would also
like to thank you in advance to reading and reviewing. Please let me know
how this story is working out.
This story is almost done. Only a few more chapters to go. Hope you liked it. It was a fun ride and thank you all that reviewed…and even those that didn't. I'm just grateful that you took the time to read.
Much Much Love to you all. .
RWH
Ten
~~~
"Becca! You have an uh…. visitor…" Stacia called out as she threw open the sash to allow the now familiar black bird to enter and come to roost on the back of a chair. The giant bird sat, waiting patiently while her dark black eyes watched Stacia. A moment later Becca came out of the bathroom wrapping her long hair up in a towel.
"Hello Empra!" She smiled and the bird spread out her sleek wings, fluttering them in greeting.
"HELLO!" It bellowed out in its raspy voice. Becca immediately walked over to take the letter from the bird and scratch behind her head affectionately a glance at the seal had her smiling "EMPRA MISSES BECKY…" The raven announced and nipped at her fingers playfully.
"And Becky misses Empra…. how's Severus?"
She noted the bird's ducking of his head and scratched at her feathers back there.
"SEV'RUS MISSES BECKY TOO…" The bird answered as Stacia watched the odd conversation with her mouth hanging open. Even after a year and a half, Stacia was still awed when it came to the conversational bird. Empra's conversational talent never failed to impress the young woman. The rather large black bird caught Stacia's look and, ruffling her feathers in indignation, which made Becca laugh loudly, The bird harrumphed and declared. "TRYING TO CATCH FLIES…. NOT THE WAY TO DO IT."
Stacia quickly shut her mouth and turned away from the rude bird. Becca chuckled at the subtle wink the bird managed to give her before returning to the letter that she received. The bold script jumped out at her and she grinned. She'd know his writing anywhere.
"It's from Severus." She informed her roommate and promptly broke the seal opening the note slowly.
"No shit…" was the reply from the sullen girl. Becca shrugged mentally, flicking her glance to her friend then back to the parchment, her eyes skimming his handwriting with glee.
My dearest Child….
She chuckled at the beginning of the correspondence, typical of him.
It is my pleasure to announce my arrival come Friday evening. I am scheduled to attend a potion conference not far from your flat. I am willing to set aside some time for you if you wish to see me. I realize you have classes and exams and if the timing is not agreeable, please send a reply back with Empra. I do hope you can find a little time to spare for your old friend.
With much love,
Severus
She smiled and pulled out a blank parchment and wrote a reply.
My Dearest Severus,
The answer is YES! I can't wait to see you again. I miss you.
Much, much love,
Rebecca
She grinned as she signed the short note and rolled it up sealing it with her own Gryffindor seal. Empra's black eyes watched as her friend finished the note and she flapped her wings eagerly.
"NEW WORDS…. NEW WORDS FOR SEV'RUS…Empra's raspy yet droll voice floated over to Rebecca, the young woman giggled pausing for a moment to think.
"Oh, no…" Stacia muttered in the corner wondering what was coming next but unable to stop the grin from forming on her lips.
"Okay, Empra, try this. The next time Severus says for you to do something and you don't agree with it…. just say…" She giggled again and flipped her hip putting on her best California Valley Girl voice. "What'ever'…. Like…. for sure!"
Stacia giggled in the background. "Snape is going to kill you for teaching that bird all that crap."
The bird tilted is dark head and repeated, almost perfectly…
"WHAT'EVER'… LIKE, FOR SURE!"
Rebecca and Stacia erupted in giggles at the valley talk from the bird.
'THANK YOU, SEV'RUS LOVES VALLEY SPEAK…!" Empra declared as she waited patiently as Becca tied the return note to her talon.
"I'm sure he does, Empra…. I'm sure he does." She carried the huge bird back to the window and with a final scratch behind her head Empra flew off with a bright
"LIKE…. GOODBYE!"
Becca giggled as she watched the bird fly off. Severus will no doubt have a cow when she returns. And she will no doubt get an earful when she sees him this Friday. She chuckled once more and turned from the window to enter the bathroom, almost immediately reemerging, running to her armoire and flinging open the doors.
"Severus is coming for a visit, Stacia…. and I have NOTHING to wear."
~~~
Empra flew through the window and landed right on his desk, Severus he sighed as he waited knowing that the bird had picked up something else from his precocious darling. The bird pranced around flapping her wings.
"Out with it, Empra…. I don't have all day."
"WHAT'EVER'….LIKE…. FOR SURE!"
The bird finally croaked out with a light giggle he recognized from Becca. He chuckled a bit and finally reached out, taking the pro-offered parchment from the bird's talon.
"You are as bad as she is sometimes, Empra, and I think you enjoy tormenting me just as much as she does."
The bird laughed again and flew out of the window croaking repeatedly.
"WHAT'EVER'…. WHAT'EVER'…. WHAT'EVER'…."
Damned bird, can't she stick with Edgar Alan Poe's Nevermore? A Giant raven should definitely *NOT* have an American valley accent. It just didn't sound right.
He chuckled again and quickly broke the seal of the parchment to read Becca's reply, his face breaking into a wide pleased grin as his eyes scanned her response. He could almost see her face as she wrote it out, she would have been excited and happy. The swirls in the loop of the L's and T's always gave her away.
She was always an emotional child and now he found that she was an emotional woman. Nothing would ever change that about her and he didn't want that to change. He loved her just the way she was, emotions and all.
It had been nearly two years since she had flown the coop but it seemed like ten, and he missed her more than ever. He had never gotten used to her being gone. In these few short years, he had found himself, again, a very lonely man wondering the corridors of Hogwart's still giving out detentions to those found floundering in abandoned classrooms.
Even during those times, his mind pondered her.
In the few years that she had been with him he had watched her emerge from the frightened child into the beautiful, strong willed and yes, sometimes spoiled young woman. His fault, he knew. He indulged her to great length. She was more than a mere ward to him, yet not quite a daughter. He couldn't exactly put his finger onto it but within the last two years, something had changed.
Whenever he had gone to meet her, she had taken to dressing more in an adult fashion, not like the students around her. Those students, like her friend, Stacia, who preferred mini skirts and halters. Rebecca's sense of dress favored more along the line of classical giving her a more defined air. Putting her sense of dress aside he also didn't fail to noticed that she acted far older than her years as well. He had to wonder if that wasn't because he knew she was attracted to him.
That in itself was a joke. Her…. attracted to him…
He sighed and leaned back to let his mind wander, as it was prone to do of late.
He tried not to dwell on her too much. Last summer when she was home, he was the happiest man in Hogwart's. The students were gone, most of the staff was gone, and Rebecca was in her room, like it should be. It was nice, three months of the aroma of perfume trailing after her, three months of her smile and constant teasing.
He refused to admit it to anyone let alone himself, but her teasing was starting to get to him and starting to wear him down.
It wasn't until as recent as that summer's end, when he found himself beginning to think of her differently. He refused to admit to it vocally, but his thoughts lingered on her, refusing to let her out of his mind. He had a constant fear of her dating and who it would be and if they had harmed her or touched her in any way, threatening or not…it was the 'not' part of that sentence that worried him. He definitely didn't want to think of her having sex. Not with the goons that hung around their little dorm room. He knew that Greg still hung around and that Bobby had moved on to apprentice at another school, but they were still friends. Severus refused to think that there could be anything more between them, between Greg and Rebecca. According to Becca, Stacia never could share.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead before standing to his feet to prepare for dinner. His head has begun to ache because he had missed breakfast again, due to oversleeping that evening. His extra work had taken a lot of his evening time now and sleep was a welcomed relief when he could take pleasure in it.
Now his mind went to wondering how Rebecca was sleeping or eating. He worried of her health, her…. okay, even if he didn't want to openly admit to it, her love life.
He hated that particular thought and wanted to automatically kill any male that made a move on her. Which, he sighed, was stupid logic. After all, it would be best if she was dating, and forgetting her silly little crush on him. He knew that in time she would come to realize her mistake and move on to a nice young man that he could approve. Perhaps watch them marry and have children.
He shuddered at that…. Grandpa Severus…. Gods…
No…. not going to think that just yet.
He grabbed his cloak, draped it along his shoulders and sighed. Closing and warding the door behind him as he stepped out of his chambers and headed up to the great hall.
It didn't matter what happens in the long run, as long as he got to see her this weekend even for a short time.
The long dreary conference would be worth it just to see her smile again.
~~~
Rebecca stood at the entry of her dormitory building and waited for Severus's arrival. She leaned against the doorjamb and brushed down the light lavender skirt she had chosen to wear for him. She loved dressing for him. Hoping that someday he would look past the child that he saw and see the woman inside. She reached up and flicked a stray strand of black hair from her eyes, pushing it back behind her ear. Her foot tapped to a distant beat of music from somewhere in the dormitory.
She checked her watch and looked out over the campus expectantly. He would be here any moment now. All the times he had visited, he had found different ways of approaching. Experimental, He had said to her, explaining that he was trying new things in his old age. She immediately argued that he wasn't old and that she would never want to hear that from his lips again. She remembered his chagrin grin and that was that all lost and forgotten.
She had no idea how he was coming this time. It could be floo, apparation sometimes he even came by muggle transport. She had actually written off floo and came outside to wait. She smiled thinking of his aversion to floo soot. She knew what the students used to call him during her school years, but she knew he hated to be dirty, and the 'greasy git' was really a very spotless man. He only 'appeared' to be greasy. However, with his new job he didn't bother to keep up that trick anymore.
She heard a loud crack and grinned as Severus suddenly stood below her, grinning up at her like a child that wanted to scream. TA DAAA! She laughed and immediately ran to him throwing her arms around his neck.
"Severus!" She cried out and hugged him to her tightly.
"Hello, My Dear."
"I've missed you!"
"I have missed you too."
She pulled away and smiled brightly up at him watching the way the setting sun was dancing in his eyes. He looked well. More at ease and rested. She sighed as he reached down to gently brush a hand across her face.
"How are your studies going?"
She shook her head at his question waving her hand slightly. "I don't want to discuss studies or school. I just want to be with you right now."
"Dinner then?" His face grinned down at her as his arm wrapped securely around her. "I could use something hot to eat."
"Italian or French?"
He grinned and nodded "Either one will work. I'm starving. Oh, By the way…. Albus and Minerva send their love."
She grinned again with a nod wrapping her own arm around him possessively. "My love back, now…" She took his hand and led him up the street walking quickly to match his long strides. "How about 'Mia's', They have wonderful Ravioli. I know how much you love ravioli."
His arm moved from her waist and clasped onto her hand "You think you know me so well?"
"I think so." She replied with a well-rehearsed smirk.
He chuckled and shook his head. "You still have a lot to learn."
"That sounded very much like a proposition." She couldn't help her teasing.
"And just how is it that you know how a supposed 'proposition' sounds like?"
Her grin widened as she clutched his hand. "That's for me to know, and you to worry about."
He frowned down at her. Okay so he 'was' worried. She was still so young, to young to know about such things like that. Well. Okay, she was well on her way into adulthood, quickly nearing twenty. A woman, by any normal standards, unfortunately, he never dealt with normal standards.
He turned his mind to less difficult discussions as they were guided to their tables. Severus, always the gentleman, unbeknownst to his students, pulled out her chair and she settled down, waiting for him to join her.
"Tell me about home…. How is everyone?"
Severus went into detail regarding the next supply of first years, listing the many reasons they should have been drowned at birth, and causing her to laugh heartily at each description.
"Surely, they all cant be 'that' bad." Some must have some 'good' qualities."
"If they do they should receive points for concealment charms."
"Are you going to award said points?" She teased.
His eyebrows rose in mock horror. "Who…. me?"
She burst out laughing again.
"I love you, you know that?"
He chuckled and reached over to squeeze her hand. "I do…. and you know that I love you too."
She nodded and returned the hand squeeze. They chatted happily as they ate dinner.
~~~
"Would you care to dance?" he asked standing up as the music started up. She held out his hand to him with a smile.
"I would love too, thank you kind sir." Her eyes sparkling as he led her to the dance floor. Taking her right hand in his left, he led her gracefully around the floor. Her petite frame barely came to his chest as she leaned against him, savoring the way they moved together.
Six years it took to get to this level of intimacy with him.
From the age of fourteen to now, nearly at the age of twenty, she had loved him in one way or another. From the grateful child she once was to the adult that she was now. From a simple adoration to full-blown devotion, she loved him with all her heart.
A soft sighed escaped from her lips as she felt his hand move slowly across her shoulder and come to rest on the small of her back, such a simple touch, yet she couldn't stop from shivering at the intimate caress. One she wished with all her heart that he meant to be more than what it was.
She didn't know exactly when her feeling had changed towards her ex- guardian. It was that one day she sat thinking about him and her heart just…thudded, beating faster as she thought of his smile and dark eyes. All she knew now was that she loved him. That she was 'IN' love with him. If only he would let her in, prove to him that she was a woman now and not afraid of intimacy.
She moved her head away from his chest and gazed up into his deep dark eyes. Her heart skipped when he smiled at her.
"What's on your mind, Child?" He asked, absently slipping back into using her old pet name. He lifted his hand from her back and pushed a stray strand of dark curls away from her face.
She frowned. "I'm NOT a child! I thought we agreed that you wouldn't call me that anymore."
He chuckled at her immediate response. He hadn't meant to call her by that particular hated name but he loved that pure emotional face of indignation she cast. "I am well aware of that, but you can't deprive me of your adolescent pet name, now can you?" His hand moved across her back again and she shivered.
"But do you have to use…. Child? I much prefer 'Love', besides I hardly feel like a child when I'm around you." She slid her hands up to circle his neck.
"Rebecca…." His voice dropped in warning.
"We're just dancing." Her eyes sparkled in mischief as her fingers toyed with the length of hair at the nape of his neck.
He sighed allowing both his hands to settle on her waist.
"See? It's not taboo to touch me, you know."
"It's…. not…." He stopped dancing to stare down at her.
"It's not even taboo…. if you kiss me." She whispered as she watched the emotions flicker across his face before he dropped his hands from her and stepped back.
"I think its time for me to head back to Hogwart's"
~~~
They walked back to her dormitory in silence. He walked quietly forcing his hands to stay firmly at his side. He was afraid to touch her, afraid to do anything but get her back to her residence safely so he can get back home and contemplate what had just happened. He felt emotions flashing through him that he had no right to feel, no right at all.
He was not a strong man to fight something like this.
They stopped at her door and he leaned over and kissed her cheek, feeling a soft sad sigh from her lips grace over his cheek.
"I didn't mean to scare you off, Severus." She whispered gazing down at her feet, feeling her face flushing deep red in complete embarrassment. How could she have been so stupid as to say something like that to him?
"You didn't scare me off, Becca." He reached out a hand and tucked it under her chin forcing her to look up at him. "You just took me by surprise."
"I can't help it you know." She spoke softly, trying to catch her breath as she tried to find the words. Her voice cracking slightly as she struggled to speak. She had to say it. She desperately needed him to know how she felt.
"Rebecca…." He tried to raise a finger to her lips to silence her but she wouldn't have it.
"No, Please, just let me say it…. just once…. and then I won't ever mention it again if you don't want me to."
Severus lowered his hand and stood looking down at her, towering over her tiny frame, his eyes hidden by shadows and concern. He knew what she was going to say and he really was afraid to hear it. What could he ever say back to her that would be sufficient to her? And could she bear to hear it? He saw the desperation in her eyes and finally, nodded.
"Then say it." He said softly before he could back out and hightail it out of there.
To his utter dismay she reached up and stroked his face lovingly.
"I love you, Severus, I don't mean like I used to, not as a daughter should love a parent. I know I probably shouldn't but I do. I'm hopelessly, head over heels in love with you. I don't expect you to feel anything other than, well; paternal feeling towards me but I just had to tell you. I just had to let you know what's in my heart."
Severus raised a hand to wipe away a tear that fell silently down her cheek capturing the tiny drop between his finger and thumb.
Yes, that was what he was afraid of.
"My dearest, Rebecca…. You are so young, so innocent, so easily led by your heart. I'm sure that if you stop and examine your feelings you will find that you are 'NOT' in love with me."
"I am…. I have been for some time. I've…. I've just been afraid to tell you until now…. until I thought, felt, that you would consider me adult enough to…. return…. any feelings you may have for me." She looked up at him her eye searching in question, hoping to see just a tiny amount of something there.
"Rebecca…. It's not that.… I can't…."
She could feel her heart literally breaking and heard the tinkling of shattered glass as it rained down into the pit of her stomach. She had put her heart out there and got slapped back into her role. She stepped back from his body and lowered her head in defeat. The tears welled up more in her eyes but she couldn't force herself to turn away. She was to numb to move and to broken to cry properly.
"I understand…. " Her voice spoke barely above a whisper as she continued to examine the ground, unable to look at him now. " It's not like I really thought you would ever be attracted to me. Not after raising me, but I just wanted you to know…. I…" She paused and turned away to her door. "I'm so sorry…. I'm so sorry to disappoint you this way…. goodnight…. Sir."
His heart fell heavily at the old adage she used to address him.
"Are we back to using Sir?"
"I think it's…. better, it will help to remind me of who I am."
"And you are?" He asked quietly watching her retreating from him.
She reached out and opened her door stepping through.
'Just…. your responsibility…" She responded sadly. "Goodnight, Sir."
He watched her close the door and moved forward to place his long fingers on the cold door. His voice low as he spoke sadly. "You 'ARE' more than just a responsibility, Rebecca…. you will never be 'JUST' anything to me. I love you too…. but I have to protect you…. against me."
He gave the closed door one more glance before apparating away, back to Hogwarts, back to his lonely dungeons. The echoing pings of his own shattered heart sat like mortar in the pit of his stomach.
Acknowledgements and A/N's
Susie: I'm glad you took a moment to read up. Welcome to our world, sit back and enjoy.
Magdellin: Things will perk up soon, its almost done. Please keep reading.
Fancy: LOL. First crushes are always hard, and first true loves are worse. Things will run all right over time. Keep reading.
Danny: I'm glad you think this story is different. I tried to keep it as original as possible. I have more stories waiting to be posted, just need to finish these two I have going now. Keep reading…Thanks again.
Cathryne: I know you know the whole story now, but I hoped you liked it Sis…Much Love.
The-Potions-Mistress: I hope you aren't 'too' disappointed in this, Honey. But thanks for the comment.
PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW…. I'M BEGGIN YA'
RWH
This story is almost done. Only a few more chapters to go. Hope you liked it. It was a fun ride and thank you all that reviewed…and even those that didn't. I'm just grateful that you took the time to read.
Much Much Love to you all. .
RWH
Ten
~~~
"Becca! You have an uh…. visitor…" Stacia called out as she threw open the sash to allow the now familiar black bird to enter and come to roost on the back of a chair. The giant bird sat, waiting patiently while her dark black eyes watched Stacia. A moment later Becca came out of the bathroom wrapping her long hair up in a towel.
"Hello Empra!" She smiled and the bird spread out her sleek wings, fluttering them in greeting.
"HELLO!" It bellowed out in its raspy voice. Becca immediately walked over to take the letter from the bird and scratch behind her head affectionately a glance at the seal had her smiling "EMPRA MISSES BECKY…" The raven announced and nipped at her fingers playfully.
"And Becky misses Empra…. how's Severus?"
She noted the bird's ducking of his head and scratched at her feathers back there.
"SEV'RUS MISSES BECKY TOO…" The bird answered as Stacia watched the odd conversation with her mouth hanging open. Even after a year and a half, Stacia was still awed when it came to the conversational bird. Empra's conversational talent never failed to impress the young woman. The rather large black bird caught Stacia's look and, ruffling her feathers in indignation, which made Becca laugh loudly, The bird harrumphed and declared. "TRYING TO CATCH FLIES…. NOT THE WAY TO DO IT."
Stacia quickly shut her mouth and turned away from the rude bird. Becca chuckled at the subtle wink the bird managed to give her before returning to the letter that she received. The bold script jumped out at her and she grinned. She'd know his writing anywhere.
"It's from Severus." She informed her roommate and promptly broke the seal opening the note slowly.
"No shit…" was the reply from the sullen girl. Becca shrugged mentally, flicking her glance to her friend then back to the parchment, her eyes skimming his handwriting with glee.
My dearest Child….
She chuckled at the beginning of the correspondence, typical of him.
It is my pleasure to announce my arrival come Friday evening. I am scheduled to attend a potion conference not far from your flat. I am willing to set aside some time for you if you wish to see me. I realize you have classes and exams and if the timing is not agreeable, please send a reply back with Empra. I do hope you can find a little time to spare for your old friend.
With much love,
Severus
She smiled and pulled out a blank parchment and wrote a reply.
My Dearest Severus,
The answer is YES! I can't wait to see you again. I miss you.
Much, much love,
Rebecca
She grinned as she signed the short note and rolled it up sealing it with her own Gryffindor seal. Empra's black eyes watched as her friend finished the note and she flapped her wings eagerly.
"NEW WORDS…. NEW WORDS FOR SEV'RUS…Empra's raspy yet droll voice floated over to Rebecca, the young woman giggled pausing for a moment to think.
"Oh, no…" Stacia muttered in the corner wondering what was coming next but unable to stop the grin from forming on her lips.
"Okay, Empra, try this. The next time Severus says for you to do something and you don't agree with it…. just say…" She giggled again and flipped her hip putting on her best California Valley Girl voice. "What'ever'…. Like…. for sure!"
Stacia giggled in the background. "Snape is going to kill you for teaching that bird all that crap."
The bird tilted is dark head and repeated, almost perfectly…
"WHAT'EVER'… LIKE, FOR SURE!"
Rebecca and Stacia erupted in giggles at the valley talk from the bird.
'THANK YOU, SEV'RUS LOVES VALLEY SPEAK…!" Empra declared as she waited patiently as Becca tied the return note to her talon.
"I'm sure he does, Empra…. I'm sure he does." She carried the huge bird back to the window and with a final scratch behind her head Empra flew off with a bright
"LIKE…. GOODBYE!"
Becca giggled as she watched the bird fly off. Severus will no doubt have a cow when she returns. And she will no doubt get an earful when she sees him this Friday. She chuckled once more and turned from the window to enter the bathroom, almost immediately reemerging, running to her armoire and flinging open the doors.
"Severus is coming for a visit, Stacia…. and I have NOTHING to wear."
~~~
Empra flew through the window and landed right on his desk, Severus he sighed as he waited knowing that the bird had picked up something else from his precocious darling. The bird pranced around flapping her wings.
"Out with it, Empra…. I don't have all day."
"WHAT'EVER'….LIKE…. FOR SURE!"
The bird finally croaked out with a light giggle he recognized from Becca. He chuckled a bit and finally reached out, taking the pro-offered parchment from the bird's talon.
"You are as bad as she is sometimes, Empra, and I think you enjoy tormenting me just as much as she does."
The bird laughed again and flew out of the window croaking repeatedly.
"WHAT'EVER'…. WHAT'EVER'…. WHAT'EVER'…."
Damned bird, can't she stick with Edgar Alan Poe's Nevermore? A Giant raven should definitely *NOT* have an American valley accent. It just didn't sound right.
He chuckled again and quickly broke the seal of the parchment to read Becca's reply, his face breaking into a wide pleased grin as his eyes scanned her response. He could almost see her face as she wrote it out, she would have been excited and happy. The swirls in the loop of the L's and T's always gave her away.
She was always an emotional child and now he found that she was an emotional woman. Nothing would ever change that about her and he didn't want that to change. He loved her just the way she was, emotions and all.
It had been nearly two years since she had flown the coop but it seemed like ten, and he missed her more than ever. He had never gotten used to her being gone. In these few short years, he had found himself, again, a very lonely man wondering the corridors of Hogwart's still giving out detentions to those found floundering in abandoned classrooms.
Even during those times, his mind pondered her.
In the few years that she had been with him he had watched her emerge from the frightened child into the beautiful, strong willed and yes, sometimes spoiled young woman. His fault, he knew. He indulged her to great length. She was more than a mere ward to him, yet not quite a daughter. He couldn't exactly put his finger onto it but within the last two years, something had changed.
Whenever he had gone to meet her, she had taken to dressing more in an adult fashion, not like the students around her. Those students, like her friend, Stacia, who preferred mini skirts and halters. Rebecca's sense of dress favored more along the line of classical giving her a more defined air. Putting her sense of dress aside he also didn't fail to noticed that she acted far older than her years as well. He had to wonder if that wasn't because he knew she was attracted to him.
That in itself was a joke. Her…. attracted to him…
He sighed and leaned back to let his mind wander, as it was prone to do of late.
He tried not to dwell on her too much. Last summer when she was home, he was the happiest man in Hogwart's. The students were gone, most of the staff was gone, and Rebecca was in her room, like it should be. It was nice, three months of the aroma of perfume trailing after her, three months of her smile and constant teasing.
He refused to admit it to anyone let alone himself, but her teasing was starting to get to him and starting to wear him down.
It wasn't until as recent as that summer's end, when he found himself beginning to think of her differently. He refused to admit to it vocally, but his thoughts lingered on her, refusing to let her out of his mind. He had a constant fear of her dating and who it would be and if they had harmed her or touched her in any way, threatening or not…it was the 'not' part of that sentence that worried him. He definitely didn't want to think of her having sex. Not with the goons that hung around their little dorm room. He knew that Greg still hung around and that Bobby had moved on to apprentice at another school, but they were still friends. Severus refused to think that there could be anything more between them, between Greg and Rebecca. According to Becca, Stacia never could share.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead before standing to his feet to prepare for dinner. His head has begun to ache because he had missed breakfast again, due to oversleeping that evening. His extra work had taken a lot of his evening time now and sleep was a welcomed relief when he could take pleasure in it.
Now his mind went to wondering how Rebecca was sleeping or eating. He worried of her health, her…. okay, even if he didn't want to openly admit to it, her love life.
He hated that particular thought and wanted to automatically kill any male that made a move on her. Which, he sighed, was stupid logic. After all, it would be best if she was dating, and forgetting her silly little crush on him. He knew that in time she would come to realize her mistake and move on to a nice young man that he could approve. Perhaps watch them marry and have children.
He shuddered at that…. Grandpa Severus…. Gods…
No…. not going to think that just yet.
He grabbed his cloak, draped it along his shoulders and sighed. Closing and warding the door behind him as he stepped out of his chambers and headed up to the great hall.
It didn't matter what happens in the long run, as long as he got to see her this weekend even for a short time.
The long dreary conference would be worth it just to see her smile again.
~~~
Rebecca stood at the entry of her dormitory building and waited for Severus's arrival. She leaned against the doorjamb and brushed down the light lavender skirt she had chosen to wear for him. She loved dressing for him. Hoping that someday he would look past the child that he saw and see the woman inside. She reached up and flicked a stray strand of black hair from her eyes, pushing it back behind her ear. Her foot tapped to a distant beat of music from somewhere in the dormitory.
She checked her watch and looked out over the campus expectantly. He would be here any moment now. All the times he had visited, he had found different ways of approaching. Experimental, He had said to her, explaining that he was trying new things in his old age. She immediately argued that he wasn't old and that she would never want to hear that from his lips again. She remembered his chagrin grin and that was that all lost and forgotten.
She had no idea how he was coming this time. It could be floo, apparation sometimes he even came by muggle transport. She had actually written off floo and came outside to wait. She smiled thinking of his aversion to floo soot. She knew what the students used to call him during her school years, but she knew he hated to be dirty, and the 'greasy git' was really a very spotless man. He only 'appeared' to be greasy. However, with his new job he didn't bother to keep up that trick anymore.
She heard a loud crack and grinned as Severus suddenly stood below her, grinning up at her like a child that wanted to scream. TA DAAA! She laughed and immediately ran to him throwing her arms around his neck.
"Severus!" She cried out and hugged him to her tightly.
"Hello, My Dear."
"I've missed you!"
"I have missed you too."
She pulled away and smiled brightly up at him watching the way the setting sun was dancing in his eyes. He looked well. More at ease and rested. She sighed as he reached down to gently brush a hand across her face.
"How are your studies going?"
She shook her head at his question waving her hand slightly. "I don't want to discuss studies or school. I just want to be with you right now."
"Dinner then?" His face grinned down at her as his arm wrapped securely around her. "I could use something hot to eat."
"Italian or French?"
He grinned and nodded "Either one will work. I'm starving. Oh, By the way…. Albus and Minerva send their love."
She grinned again with a nod wrapping her own arm around him possessively. "My love back, now…" She took his hand and led him up the street walking quickly to match his long strides. "How about 'Mia's', They have wonderful Ravioli. I know how much you love ravioli."
His arm moved from her waist and clasped onto her hand "You think you know me so well?"
"I think so." She replied with a well-rehearsed smirk.
He chuckled and shook his head. "You still have a lot to learn."
"That sounded very much like a proposition." She couldn't help her teasing.
"And just how is it that you know how a supposed 'proposition' sounds like?"
Her grin widened as she clutched his hand. "That's for me to know, and you to worry about."
He frowned down at her. Okay so he 'was' worried. She was still so young, to young to know about such things like that. Well. Okay, she was well on her way into adulthood, quickly nearing twenty. A woman, by any normal standards, unfortunately, he never dealt with normal standards.
He turned his mind to less difficult discussions as they were guided to their tables. Severus, always the gentleman, unbeknownst to his students, pulled out her chair and she settled down, waiting for him to join her.
"Tell me about home…. How is everyone?"
Severus went into detail regarding the next supply of first years, listing the many reasons they should have been drowned at birth, and causing her to laugh heartily at each description.
"Surely, they all cant be 'that' bad." Some must have some 'good' qualities."
"If they do they should receive points for concealment charms."
"Are you going to award said points?" She teased.
His eyebrows rose in mock horror. "Who…. me?"
She burst out laughing again.
"I love you, you know that?"
He chuckled and reached over to squeeze her hand. "I do…. and you know that I love you too."
She nodded and returned the hand squeeze. They chatted happily as they ate dinner.
~~~
"Would you care to dance?" he asked standing up as the music started up. She held out his hand to him with a smile.
"I would love too, thank you kind sir." Her eyes sparkling as he led her to the dance floor. Taking her right hand in his left, he led her gracefully around the floor. Her petite frame barely came to his chest as she leaned against him, savoring the way they moved together.
Six years it took to get to this level of intimacy with him.
From the age of fourteen to now, nearly at the age of twenty, she had loved him in one way or another. From the grateful child she once was to the adult that she was now. From a simple adoration to full-blown devotion, she loved him with all her heart.
A soft sighed escaped from her lips as she felt his hand move slowly across her shoulder and come to rest on the small of her back, such a simple touch, yet she couldn't stop from shivering at the intimate caress. One she wished with all her heart that he meant to be more than what it was.
She didn't know exactly when her feeling had changed towards her ex- guardian. It was that one day she sat thinking about him and her heart just…thudded, beating faster as she thought of his smile and dark eyes. All she knew now was that she loved him. That she was 'IN' love with him. If only he would let her in, prove to him that she was a woman now and not afraid of intimacy.
She moved her head away from his chest and gazed up into his deep dark eyes. Her heart skipped when he smiled at her.
"What's on your mind, Child?" He asked, absently slipping back into using her old pet name. He lifted his hand from her back and pushed a stray strand of dark curls away from her face.
She frowned. "I'm NOT a child! I thought we agreed that you wouldn't call me that anymore."
He chuckled at her immediate response. He hadn't meant to call her by that particular hated name but he loved that pure emotional face of indignation she cast. "I am well aware of that, but you can't deprive me of your adolescent pet name, now can you?" His hand moved across her back again and she shivered.
"But do you have to use…. Child? I much prefer 'Love', besides I hardly feel like a child when I'm around you." She slid her hands up to circle his neck.
"Rebecca…." His voice dropped in warning.
"We're just dancing." Her eyes sparkled in mischief as her fingers toyed with the length of hair at the nape of his neck.
He sighed allowing both his hands to settle on her waist.
"See? It's not taboo to touch me, you know."
"It's…. not…." He stopped dancing to stare down at her.
"It's not even taboo…. if you kiss me." She whispered as she watched the emotions flicker across his face before he dropped his hands from her and stepped back.
"I think its time for me to head back to Hogwart's"
~~~
They walked back to her dormitory in silence. He walked quietly forcing his hands to stay firmly at his side. He was afraid to touch her, afraid to do anything but get her back to her residence safely so he can get back home and contemplate what had just happened. He felt emotions flashing through him that he had no right to feel, no right at all.
He was not a strong man to fight something like this.
They stopped at her door and he leaned over and kissed her cheek, feeling a soft sad sigh from her lips grace over his cheek.
"I didn't mean to scare you off, Severus." She whispered gazing down at her feet, feeling her face flushing deep red in complete embarrassment. How could she have been so stupid as to say something like that to him?
"You didn't scare me off, Becca." He reached out a hand and tucked it under her chin forcing her to look up at him. "You just took me by surprise."
"I can't help it you know." She spoke softly, trying to catch her breath as she tried to find the words. Her voice cracking slightly as she struggled to speak. She had to say it. She desperately needed him to know how she felt.
"Rebecca…." He tried to raise a finger to her lips to silence her but she wouldn't have it.
"No, Please, just let me say it…. just once…. and then I won't ever mention it again if you don't want me to."
Severus lowered his hand and stood looking down at her, towering over her tiny frame, his eyes hidden by shadows and concern. He knew what she was going to say and he really was afraid to hear it. What could he ever say back to her that would be sufficient to her? And could she bear to hear it? He saw the desperation in her eyes and finally, nodded.
"Then say it." He said softly before he could back out and hightail it out of there.
To his utter dismay she reached up and stroked his face lovingly.
"I love you, Severus, I don't mean like I used to, not as a daughter should love a parent. I know I probably shouldn't but I do. I'm hopelessly, head over heels in love with you. I don't expect you to feel anything other than, well; paternal feeling towards me but I just had to tell you. I just had to let you know what's in my heart."
Severus raised a hand to wipe away a tear that fell silently down her cheek capturing the tiny drop between his finger and thumb.
Yes, that was what he was afraid of.
"My dearest, Rebecca…. You are so young, so innocent, so easily led by your heart. I'm sure that if you stop and examine your feelings you will find that you are 'NOT' in love with me."
"I am…. I have been for some time. I've…. I've just been afraid to tell you until now…. until I thought, felt, that you would consider me adult enough to…. return…. any feelings you may have for me." She looked up at him her eye searching in question, hoping to see just a tiny amount of something there.
"Rebecca…. It's not that.… I can't…."
She could feel her heart literally breaking and heard the tinkling of shattered glass as it rained down into the pit of her stomach. She had put her heart out there and got slapped back into her role. She stepped back from his body and lowered her head in defeat. The tears welled up more in her eyes but she couldn't force herself to turn away. She was to numb to move and to broken to cry properly.
"I understand…. " Her voice spoke barely above a whisper as she continued to examine the ground, unable to look at him now. " It's not like I really thought you would ever be attracted to me. Not after raising me, but I just wanted you to know…. I…" She paused and turned away to her door. "I'm so sorry…. I'm so sorry to disappoint you this way…. goodnight…. Sir."
His heart fell heavily at the old adage she used to address him.
"Are we back to using Sir?"
"I think it's…. better, it will help to remind me of who I am."
"And you are?" He asked quietly watching her retreating from him.
She reached out and opened her door stepping through.
'Just…. your responsibility…" She responded sadly. "Goodnight, Sir."
He watched her close the door and moved forward to place his long fingers on the cold door. His voice low as he spoke sadly. "You 'ARE' more than just a responsibility, Rebecca…. you will never be 'JUST' anything to me. I love you too…. but I have to protect you…. against me."
He gave the closed door one more glance before apparating away, back to Hogwarts, back to his lonely dungeons. The echoing pings of his own shattered heart sat like mortar in the pit of his stomach.
Acknowledgements and A/N's
Susie: I'm glad you took a moment to read up. Welcome to our world, sit back and enjoy.
Magdellin: Things will perk up soon, its almost done. Please keep reading.
Fancy: LOL. First crushes are always hard, and first true loves are worse. Things will run all right over time. Keep reading.
Danny: I'm glad you think this story is different. I tried to keep it as original as possible. I have more stories waiting to be posted, just need to finish these two I have going now. Keep reading…Thanks again.
Cathryne: I know you know the whole story now, but I hoped you liked it Sis…Much Love.
The-Potions-Mistress: I hope you aren't 'too' disappointed in this, Honey. But thanks for the comment.
PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW…. I'M BEGGIN YA'
RWH
