Lupin stared at the paper after he'd finished. A less shunned life? A less painful life, he thought. It sounded like a good place, but it also sounded a bit isolated. Were they trying to cut off the werewolf population from the wizarding world? he wondered.
Just then, an owl swooped in and out, dropping a note on his lap. Lupin unfolded the note. It was from Sirius.
Hey Moony,
Have you read the Prophet yet? That retreat sounds great; you should go check it out at least. If you do decide to stay, send me an owl and I'll try and visit you if I can. I am still a wanted mass murderer, so I can't exactly waltz in every day. Anyway, it'd be a bit too quiet for me!
Padfoot
Lupin smiled. It would be too quiet for Sirius, that was for sure. He was too reckless for his own good, but it was what kept him going.
Lupin decided to go. He got up and there was a loud crack. He had Apparated and was now standing in front of the path to the very, very old house. There was a sign beside the path. It read, 'This house has been standing since the Middle Ages. It is protected by the National Heritage Group of England'.
Lupin walked up the path and stood in front of a huge oak door. Adorning it was a rusted wolf's head, holding a knocker in its jaws. How appropriate, Lupin thought as he knocked twice. A pleasant voice from out of nowhere said, 'Please walk straight through'.
He walked through the oak door and found he was now in a rather large waiting. Chairs lined the walls and most were filled. The witch at the counter to his right beckoned him over.
She asked in the pleasant voice, 'How may I help you?'
'My name's Remus Lupin. I would like to have a look around the retreat.'
'A tour? Certainly. But you've just missed the group that has gone with the Manager. I'm afraid they won't be back for an hour or so.'
'The Manager?' Lupin inquired. 'The Manager conducts the tours?'
'Oh yes,' the witch nodded enthusiastically. 'The Manager feels it is more personal that way, that it shows how much we care. The Manager is such a lovely person. Very dedicated,' she added in a satisfied tone. She gestured over at the chairs. 'If you'll just take a seat, I'll call you when the Manager returns.'
'Thank you.'
He took the seat in the corner. It was the only one that was vacant. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking. The Manager seemed involved, always a good sign. Lupin felt like he was at a Muggle's old folks home, as they referred to it.
He didn't know it, but he was drowsing. He heard distant voices, other people up at the counter.
'I'd like to book my husband into the retreat,' he heard a young uncertain woman say.
'Okay then. Here are some forms to fill out. They're just for background and contacts. They shouldn't take you to long,' came the pleasant voice, but it was fading.
"I missed you in class, Moony,' came a pleasanter, more melodic voice. Selene was looking at him in concern, her long black hair was out today and it was dancing in the light breeze. They were sitting near the lake again. Sirius and James were not far away with Lily. Peter again was nowhere to be seen. Lupin had erased him from all memories.
'Which one?' he asked, trying to evade this line of questioning.
'All of the ones we share. And not just today, but for the past few days.'
Lupin didn't want to tell her. He wasn't sure how she'd react. It was okay with James and Sirius; they had understood and even undertaken becoming Animagi when they found out. But Selene, he didn't know.
'I was a bit sick, I had to go to the hospital wing,' he covered up quickly. He decided not to share his secret with her. He liked her a lot; he didn't want to lose her.
'Oh.' She didn't sound convinced, but didn't press any further. She cuddled her knees and stared at the grass. Lupin glanced over at Sirius. He had overheard and was frowning, but Lupin didn't know if he was frowning at him or Selene.
The bell went and Selene jumped up with her books. 'I have Herbology now,' she said quickly and started to leave.
'Selene, wait!' called Lupin and he jumped up beside her. She stopped but wasn't looking at him.
'Look, Selene, I know you're mad at me -'
Now she did look at him, her eyes looking dull. She placed her free hand on his shoulder. 'I'm not mad at you. I really mean that. I'm just...I don't know...I just feel left out of something. I know that Sirius and James know why you aren't around every month. Yes,' she nodded at Lupin's now wide eyes, 'I've noticed. You do seem to get sick, but you don't end up in the hospital wing. I know. I checked. I miss you when you're not around,' she said sincerely. 'Do you just not want to tell me or can't you?' The last part was said in a soft and sad puzzlement as she took her hand of his shoulder and stared at him.
'I...I...I can't,' he said simply. 'Please don't hate for not being able to tell you,' he added quickly, grabbing her arms in a meaningful way.
Her mouth gave way to a small smile. 'I can't hate you, ever.' She leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Lupin stood still in shock as she pulled back out of his grasp. 'I like you, Moony. I really do. You're one of the nicest wizards I know. Will you tell one day, where you go every month?'
'Ye...yes, of course,' he stammered, still in shock.
She nodded, content with his answer and headed to the Herbology labs, her hair swinging with her every step. Lupin now stood, grappling with his feelings for Selene. He really liked her back but he hadn't told her. Did she feel that he had rejected her by not saying it? He touched his cheek. He could still feel her lips there. Maybe he should have told her. Maybe.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard Sirius say to him, 'Are you going to be another James and have to be pushed to ask a girl out?'
This shook Lupin out of his trance-like thinking and he turned to Sirius. 'It was easier for James. He didn't have a secret like mine,' Lupin said miserably.
'Yeah, I heard her asking. Did you tell her?' Sirius sounded concerned.
Lupin shook his head.
'Was she angry?'
'No,' Lupin said absently, 'no she wasn't. She said it was alright that I couldn't tell her.'
'Really?' Sirius said in surprise. 'She sounds like a really great girl. Don't you go and do something stupid and lose her,' he warned mockingly.
Lupin paused for a moment before he said, 'I think I just did do something stupid.'
Suddenly, a voice was calling 'Mr. Lupin'. It sounding like Selene and Lupin turned eagerly to see her, but she wasn't there. Then he realised that Selene had never called him Mr. Lupin and that the voice was a pleasant one.
'Mr. Lupin?' called the witch at the counter. Lupin awoke with a start and turned to her, blinking and trying to forget his memory-filled dream.
'The Manager is ready to take you on the tour. You're the only one on this tour. Just go straight down this corridor,' she gestured, 'and enter the second door on the left. The Manager will be waiting for you there.' She smiled. 'I hope you enjoy it.'
'Thank you,' said Lupin, trying to match the pleasantness of his voice with her. He was shaken by that particular memory and really didn't want to have relived it, but he had. He blinked a few more times and proceeded slowly down the corridor.
I didn't tell her, he thought with sudden realisation, I never told her where I went. And I never told her that I liked her.
That I loved her.
He was really beginning to greatly dislike sleep as he opened the second door on the left. There was too much of the past he didn't want to remember. He entered the room, only to find what he hadn't been expecting. He narrowed his eyes in shock and his mouth flapped a few times before he was able to say in a disbelieving tone:
'Selene?'
