Those three small words
I can read from your heart
But when you say it out loud,
It tears me apart…
Written by…me.
Rinoa's P.O.V
It hadn't even been a scary dream and yet I woke up with such a fright that I bumped my head on the bed above me and fell back onto my pillow rubbing my sore head.
I didn't remember coming here last night, so I guessed that I must have fallen asleep and Squall had taken me to bed. Oops.
Crawling out of bed I noticed that Squall was already up, but his black jacket was lying on his bed. I picked it up and felt it in my hands. Soft and warm. Not like the cold leather jacket he used to wear. I dressed and put the jacket on over my blue top.
Walking out of my place the cold air hit my skin, but I hardly noticed. I walked on through the village looking for anyone I knew…even maybe Seifer. Looking around at all the people that were now wondering around the village like a normal day, I wondered how peaceful their lives must be, how different their life is from mine.
How did they get on in life without knowing about the outside world? Without knowing about the problems, death, pain and suffering of so many outside…probably a much better life then me.
My mind was occupied with so many things that I didn't notice Meryl and Squall in front of me talking. I almost bumped into them. Meryl laughed when she saw me and grabbed me by the shoulders bringing me back to reality.
"Hey Rin!" She yelled happily.
I smiled, trying to look happy. As always, Squall saw past my happy face.
"Rin, you ok?" He asked. He didn't bother to hide the concern in his voice. I smiled when I saw him. He wasn't wearing his jacket, of course I was wearing it, but he looked so different with arms exposed. I couldn't be unhappy anymore. I smiled brightly this time and wrapped my arms around him. " Oh, I just have a lot of things on my mind, but its ok"
He seemed happy enough and hugged me back. I turned back to Meryl.
" Have you seen Rayne?"
" She 's near our place, I think she was a little upset about something, but I dunno, just go see her" I nodded, thankful that Meryl was so laid back.
I nodded at Squall and began to walk towards Meryl's place. As she said, Rayne was there. She was talking to Lance, he didn't seem to happy, and for a moment I thought about turning back, when Rayne turned and yelled at me happily.
"Hey! Rinny! Come quick, I have the best news!"
For some reason I had this bad feeling that this 'news' was not going to be all good.
Meryl's P.O.V
Rayne had spoken to me before about her idea, I thought it wasn't too bad.
The only problem was Lance, he was so stubborn. I just knew he wouldn't like her idea.
Rayne had told us about Rinoa and Squall. I pitied them. Running from so many people, just because she's different. I was glad that I had not been to the outside world, because it did not sound as exciting as I thought. No wonder mother and father died out there.
Rayne wanted us to take them to the Bryne Wasteland. It was east from the Herms Ranges and Lance and I had researched it and read maps and so on and so forth. So we knew all about it. We would also get a better look at the outside world.
If a group of five people were seen (including Seifer) wandering around a wasteland, maybe the Council, or whatever they are, wouldn't consider this as Rinoa and Squall. It was a plan at least. But I just knew Lance wouldn't see it as this.
After showering and getting cleaned up, I decided to look for Squall or Rinoa. I found Squall. He was watching some kids play Hoop Ball. He smiled when he saw me, obviously glad to see someone familiar. Even though I hardly knew him. He got up, waving to the kids.
" Hey Squall, watcha doin?"
" Watching the kids play…um…hoop ball I think"
"Yeah, that's it, hey um has Rayne spoken to you about anything really important?"
"No, should she have?"
"Yeah, she'll tell ya later"
At that moment Rinoa was walking towards us. She had her head down, and I guessed she was deep in thought. She almost walked into us but I grabbed her by the shoulders.
I tried to cheer her up by my happiness. But she didn't seem too happy about something. She hugged Squall and asked me where Rayne was. I told her to go to my place.
After she left, I turned back to Squall.
" She didn't seem too happy did she?"
Squall seemed disturbed by the way she had looked so empty, so deprived of happiness.
"Yeah I guess, she does have a reason though, I mean think about our situation. We're running from the Council, the gardens and our friends…can't blame her"
I understood, nodding.
Silence seemed to take center stage in our conversation. Squall broke it first, fortunately.
" I've been meaning to ask you about this place, I don't know much about it. So if it's ok with you, could you kinda give me a quick tour or something?"
I was glad he asked. I liked to spend time with him. Ah! What's wrong with me? He's taken damnit. Stop those thoughts, stop.
I nodded quickly and smiled to assure him I was glad. He smiled back, briefly, and followed me. Rinoa had said before that he was still in 'training' to smile more. Although personally I thought he was doing great.
First I showed him all the houses and explained about how our ancestors had built all of them. Everything had come from The Fire of course. I told him about how the houses can keep cold in, but not all of it. Because to us, the cold isn't so bad as it is for outsiders.
He told me about how he didn't mind the cold so much, and had decided to leave his jacket behind. Rinoa on the other hand, didn't like the cold too much.
I showed him all around, including my mother's old place. When he said he'd had enough, we decided on going to my place. Lance and Rayne were there, so was Rinoa. Rinoa had a look on her face that I didn't seem to like very much. A look of complete understanding, but of confusion and shock. Squall waved a hand in front of her face. She jumped slightly and came back to the present.
" You ok?" Squall asked her. She nodded slowly, then shook her head.
Squall just sighed and sat down next to her.
" You told her didn't you?" I said to Rayne, looking slightly disappointed. I had wanted us all to be here and discuss it through. As if on cue, Seifer walked in and took a seat next to Lance. He does that a lot…kinda freaky.
Rayne didn't bother answering my question and began the 'meeting'.
" Ok, Squall, Seifer. You two don't know this yet, but I have already told Meryl, Lance and Rinoa of my plans." She cleared her throat. " It seems to me that you two need some help, Rinoa and Squall. So I thought that maybe the five of you, Meryl, Lance, Rinoa, Squall and Seifer, could all go to the Bryne Wasteland, east from the Herms Ranges. If the Council, or anyone else, were to see you they would perhaps not consider a group of five people to be you. Meryl and Lance have researched this area and studied maps of it, so you'll be safe. From there they can take you to The Springs. It's a valley that our father told us about. Our mother said that when she reached there, she would use her magic to hide it away from eyes other than those from Crescent Winds. Once there, you'll be hidden in it's magic" She paused for a moment. " The only problem you face is that..well…my parents may not have made it to The Springs"
Once again Silence took center stage. I could tell Squall was trying to consider the options in his head. Seifer didn't seem too shocked he just sat, waiting for someone else to speak. Finally Squall turned to Rinoa.
" What do you think Rin? It's our best chance…really"
Rinoa nodded, her lost face turning to that of excitement. " When do we leave?" She asked. Rayne looked delighted. She clasped her hands in front of her the way she did when she was happy.
" It's up to you really, you can stay in Crescent Winds for a while longer and study some maps if you wish"
Rinoa and Squall agreed and we all departed. Lance went into the back room as usual and Rayne walked out to go to The Fire. I got out my tapestry.
I wasn't sure where Seifer went, but Squall and Rinoa went back to their place.
As they left, I waved and looked back at my work.
Squall's P.O.V
Rinoa walked along ahead of me, with ease too. Her boots were much better suited for walking in thick snow.
" So, um, why'd you leave your jacket behind?" She asked me.
" Well I guess I just want to get a better appreciation for the cold, you know?"
" Yeah I suppose, but I think I just want to go back and snuggle up in my bed! I'm freezing you know! This weather just isn't my type."
I laughed at her comment and stopped. " Well I'm going back to see Meryl, she seems lonely" Rinoa turned back to me and smiled.
" Oh! What a sweetie! Your gonna go give her some company, your so sweet! Ok then but make sure your home in time for dinner ok?"
I rolled my eyes and turned back waving to her. But then I turned and put on a sarcastic voice. " Whatever…" She laughed her way back to our place.
When I made it back to Meryl's place. She was still working on her tapestry and I guessed that Lance was still in the back room. She hadn't noticed I had entered.
I took this as my best chance to scare her witless.
I crept up beside her and was about to put my hands on her shoulders and yell, but she caught me. " I know your there Squall, you little sneak"
I pouted like a little child, doing my best imitation of one of the junior classman when they found out they had their worst class next. " Awwwww"
She laughed at me and turned from her work. I sat on the small sofa.
" So, is Lance still in the back room?"
" Yup, he's looking at some maps of the Bryne Wasteland, he just wants to be prepared"
" Oh ok, is he always like this? You know…he doesn't chat much"
She chuckled at my comment. " Yeah he's just anti-social" Is that what I was always like? Oh well, I'm different now.
We talked for a bit and then Rayne joined us.
" I heard you and Rinoa had quite a few adventures," Rayne asked in that cheerful voice of hers, that reminded me of Selphie a lot.
" You hear that from Seifer?"
" Yes" She replied.
" Well yeah, I'm…was a SeeD and when I passed my exam I met Rinoa at the graduation dance. The next day I had my first mission, I went with Zell and Selphie. It was to help out a resistance faction in a city called Timber. We took a train to Timber and met up with the Resistance faction, Forest Owls. Rinoa happened to be the leader. We helped her capture the president of Galbadia.
Galbadia is a country. Anyway, when we 'confronted' him, he was just a body double."
Rayne seemed to be drawn to my story. She begged me to continue. Meryl looked just as happy.
" We went to the T.V station, because there was to be a broadcast that had been made for…well I can't remember for how long, but a long time. It turned out that the sorceress, Edea, was to become Galbadia's new ambassador. Seifer broke into the T.V station and held the president hostage, he let him go and escaped with the sorceress. That's when we met up with Quistis. Galbadian soldiers were all over the city, so we escaped, via train, to Galbadia garden, I guess Seifer has already told you about the gardens?"
They both nodded. I continued.
" Well, at Galbadia garden we found out that Seifer had been given a trial and executed.
We were given orders from both Balamb and Galbadia garden to assassinate the sorceress in Deling"
I stopped my story, much to their disappointment.
" I'll tell you the rest later ok?"
They didn't seem all too happy but agreed to meet me at The Fire in the morning.
I went into the back room to see Lance.
"Hey, I heard you were looking at some maps of this wasteland we're going to"
Lance nodded and continued to study the maps. I walked over and looked at them.
" Where did you get them from?"
" We got them from our father, because he traveled so much"
That was the longest sentence I had heard him say.
" Oh…"
I looked at them some more. They were old and worn, but still readable. They showed the Hermes Ranges in such detail that you find a good cave to sleep in for the night.
I left him to it, said bye to Meryl and Rayne and went back to see Rinoa.
When I got there, she was asleep in her bed. She wasn't dressed in her gray bedclothes, but her boots were at the end of her bed. She was still wearing my jacket. She looked so peaceful. I didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead I sat sown next to her bed, just looking at her sleeping form.
I was still afternoon and she was sound asleep. She probably didn't get much sleep the previous night. We had stayed up for quite a while.
I showered and came back into the room, sitting next to her. I just wanted it to be night, so I could go into bed and wake up, get prepared to leave and talk to her some more. But night was still so far off.
I thought back to the conversation we had back before her trial…
" It isn't fair Rin…it just isn't!"
" I know Squall, please calm down, but they have reason to don't they?"
" No! They sure as hell don't. For all this time they haven't noticed you, and now they choose to start picking on you? It's just not right"
" Again, I know and we can't help that, but I still want you to be there, at the trial, please Squall, be there"
" Ok, I'll be there, but not for them, for you"
" Thankyou"
So I had been there. I had seen the hurt look on her face when they decided to send her away to Odine. I remembered how angry I had been, how I had boiled inside.
I fell asleep beside her bed, with these thoughts in my mind. I don't think I was asleep for long. It was still noon when I woke up. Rinoa woke me. She was still lying in bed, a sleepy look on her face.
" What are you doing here mister?" She asked, sarcasm in her voice.
" I don't know…I guess I just wanted to stay here"
She smiled and rolled over to face me. I yawned and looked around. I was freezing, so I grabbed a blanket off my bed and sat back down next to her bed.
" I still do…" I whispered and closed my eyes.
We both fell asleep again and must have slept for a long time.
Rinoa's P.O.V
~Dream~
I thought my dreams with Raylin would begin to be all the same, but I was wrong. I was back in the mist, the damp moss ground and the darkness that swallowed everything.
I was expecting Raylin to suddenly appear and explain everything I was seeing. But she didn't and I began to get scared that my nightmare would repeat itself. I reached up for the rings around my neck and thankfully my hands met the cold metal.
" Raylin…where am I? Are you even here" My questions were unanswered. Not a thing moved.
I was about to run, to try and get away, to wake up. But instead I heard voices.
" Are you sure we're not lost? Maybe we should have kept going on from The Springs…"
" I know, your right but I think we'll be ok"
" I hope your right…"
The owners of the voices came into view. I almost cried out in joy when I saw them. It was Raylin and another man. He had long brown hair tied back.
I ran up to them. They didn't even see me. I guessed it was because of the fog.
" Raylin! Where are we?"
No answer.
" Raylin?"
They continued to walk on, right past me. Can they see me…or hear me?
I didn't understand why they were ignoring me. I followed them. They seemed very lost. Raylin looked worried and held onto the mans hand, looking around as if expecting something to leap out at them. I did too, strangely.
They both stopped and Raylin turned to him, a desperate look on her face.
" Logan, listen to me. We have to turn back. We're going to get ourselves completely lost!"
" Ok, I agree with you there. We'll go back. I don't like the looks of this place."
Raylin smiled, relieved and they began to walk back.
Now I understood. Raylin was showing me the past. Her travels with Logan. Is this how they got lost and Logan died? I was so unsure.
Before I could try to figure it out. I woke up. Something or someone was tugging at my arm. It was Meryl. She was wearing a long white, plain dress.
" Hey sleepy head, time to eat"
I walked into the first room of the house. Squall and Rayne were sitting around a large table full of food. It was amazing how they had managed to set up so much food. Squall and Rayne looked toward me and grinned.
" Good afternoon miss Heartily, care to join us?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I had eaten enough to last me a few days. Because I had slept for so long, I didn't feel so tired when the time came to go to bed. Neither did Squall. The others left and went to bed, tiredness written all over them.
Squall and I went to The Fire…again. I told myself I wasn't going to fall asleep this time.
We talked. We just talked about anything and everything.
" Squall, if we ever go back to the garden, which we probably won't, what do you think they would say? Do you think they're angry at us…or maybe ashamed, or upset, or disappointed, or-"
"- or nothing Rin, they're our friends and you know that…it took me a while to see just what it's like to open up to them and accept their friendship, but now that I know, I can guarantee what they would be thinking…that we're doing the right thing and if they could help it, they'd be with us too"
I couldn't help but smile so broadly it made him grin back. He was getting so good at this. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his waist.
" I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have thought it…thanks"
He nodded and hugged me back.
Do you love me?…of course you do…but why won't you say it?
