It's just some nonsense spoof I thought of today when I should have been writing my research paper. Oh well, so what if I nearly failed it? Please be kind to my sweet story!
The Joys of Peanut Butter and Body Heat
Celestial Maiden Ceres
I was cold.
Not just a little chilly and in need of some socks cold, but I needed body heat! Unfortunately for me, Mamo-chan was in class. Of course when he got home things probably wouldn't improve too terribly much. In his fourth year of med school, he'd lost insane amounts of time for everything... and that included his Usako...me.
It seemed like just yesterday he couldn't get enough of me. Actually I think it was yesterday, but who's keeping track of the days here? What with mid-terms coming up, heaven forbid he 'waste' time on anything that wasn't productive. Hey I may not be productive but I'm fun!
I was milling this over as I sat on the couch in our living room in my pajamas and bunny slippers all the while watching my soap operas...okay so it was anime. But is there really that much difference? I knew Mamo-chan wouldn't like what I was eating. He'd come home and raise his eyebrow, ask if that was necessary. Well, it wasn't really what I was eating, it was how I was eating it. In my hand I held a jar Jiffy Peanut Butter and in the other, a spoon. Also, my mouth was really sticky. But I really wanted it so who cares?
I heard the door open and a heavy sigh come from that direction. I jumped up eagerly and cried with a mouthful of goo, "Bamoo-fhan!"
As I suspected he raised that eyebrow at me. "Usako, what do you have in your mouth?'
"Peadunt Bunner."
He grinned and leaned over to kiss me. As he pulled away again he licked his lips thoughtfully. "Hmm...smooth peanut butter at that." Suddenly his tone and facial expression changed to serious and studious again. "Hey Usako, I've got to study so I really don't have time for much right now. Do you mind?"
Mind? MIND?! Of course I minded! I wanted my Mamo-chan! I wanted to kiss the boy senseless, I wanted sweet kisses in return! And he has the nerve to ask if I mind? "Of course I don't mind." Well, what else was I supposed to say?
"Thanks." he grinned. Sure. No problem. He spread his books and notes and whatnot over the dining room table and dove into it. So much for dinner.
Suddenly, I got a plan. I'd just simply distract him from his studies. Get him to study me instead. I laid down on the couch. "Mamo-chan?" I called turning on the charm. Of course that gets a tad harder after you've been married for a year. Or maybe I wasn't losing my touch. Maybe it really was medical school. But all the same...
"Yes?" he called, never even looking up. Oh boy, this was going to be harder than I thought.
I pouted a bit. He'd said once he loved that. "I'm...I'm cold."
He looked up at me, then stood. It was working! I knew it! I still had my golden touch! He was walking towards me, stretched his arm out, preparing to embrace me, keep me warm. That was until he walked past me. And do you know what he had the nerve to do? HE TURNED UP THE THERMOSTAT! Of all the nerve. And even worse, he looked back at me smiling and said, "Better?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." I grumbled, standing up.
"Usa? Where are you going?" he asked innocently. Fiend!
"Oh, I thought I'd turn in." I answered lightly, hoping maybe he'd get the picture.
He didn't.
"Oh okay then. I'm going to be up late, in fact I may pull an all-nighter. So don't wait up okay?" he asked as if it were the most normal comment in the world. And so what if it was? He shouldn't have said it anyway!
"Sure. G'night."
"Goodnight Usako."
Moron. I slid into our bed to find that it was cold. I wasn't a happy housewife at all! My job was to stay home in my pajamas, clean a little bit, try not to burn the food I cook and to get snuggled. That was it! You'd think if I was in a battle in that little short skirt again he'd come running. With a tux and roses nonetheless.
I was just drifting off into a dream world where little Sailor Moons were attacking the Tuxedo Kamens instead of youma when I felt a warm object snake around my back. I looked up; Mamo-chan's arm. He whispered in my ear, "Still awake."
"Yeah, but I thought you still had to study or you could flunk." I answered groggily.
He kissed my ear, then my neck and finally lightly grazed my lips. "For you...It can wait."
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The end. No more. That's all. Review.
