it's been quite a while. i know. but no matter, i'm back with a fluffy short story for fun.
disclaimer: yeah yeah yeah....if i owned the billion dollar idea that is sailor moon do you think i'd be writing fanfiction? i don't think so.
"OH MY MUFFINS! " BY: ME
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Usagi skipped happily into the Crown at precisely 3:08 p.m. Truly amazing how she manages to run ten blocks from her school in eight minutes.
"Hi everybody!" she called as she walked in. As the only two familiar faces were Motoki and Mamoru Chiba, she directed her comment at Motoki. Mamoru stared down at his coffee, pretending he hadn't heard her call of mirth as she walked in, door chimes ringing as she came. In his opinion bells rang everywhere she went. If only he knew how to say it...
"Oh Odango Atama! How delightful to see you. Again. Like I don't see plenty of you in here every. single. day." he said, finishing in a monotonous tone as she plopped down on the stool beside him.
"Nobody asked you." she announced in sing-song voice. Then she turned to Motoki, who was busily cleaning a glass with a bit of cheesecloth. He scrubbed angrily at a particularly nasty water spot, thinking of Usagi and Mamoru. "Why can't they just get along? They're driving me friggin' insane!" he thought to himself, continuing to attack the glass armed with his cloth. "Hi Usagi. Can I get you something?"
Usagi thought intently. Mamoru watched her from the corner of his eye, unable to help himself. Her eyes were looking up at the ceiling as though maybe she'd find an answer to what she wanted written up there, her elbow leaned on the bar with her hand supporting her face. "Why did she have to be so cute? Is she doing that intentionally? Is she trying to drive me out of my sanity and wits on purpose?" Mamoru thought to himself, perplexed.
"Can I have just a small chocolate ice-cream in a bowl, please?" she asked finally.
Motoki, sitting down the glass and cloth, called, "Coming right up! One small chocolate ice-cream ala bowl for my favorite customer!" It was just enough to set off a nerve in Mamoru. But nervousness prevailed over calm intelligence so instead of taking it out on Motoki, the logical thing to do would be to direct something at Usagi.
"Small?" he sneered. "It's about time you cut back on the sweets. They were beginning to show." Now he knew perfectly well (possibly a little too well) that she had an amazing figure, but to tell any woman she's getting chubby is a definite button-pusher. In other words, it was going to set off another mini war.
"Kiss it, coffee-breath." she hurled back.
"I'd be glad to!..." he said happily. "Which acre?" he asked, his voice dripping in sugary sweet venom.
Usagi jumped up suddenly. "Why you...! You...! Ugh! I do not understand why it is that you have to be so unbearable twenty-four freakin' seven! Do you ever quit? Is sarcasm the only means of conversation you know?!" she demanded her hands flying as she yelled. "Um. HELLO! Try this on for size! 'Hi Usagi, are you having a nice day? No? Some baka tried to aggravate the piss out of you? No! I can't imagine! So nice weather we're having huh?'" she finished, running out of breath. She'd noticed Motoki had nonchalantly slid her ice-cream in front of the seat she'd been sitting in previously, careful to avoid an attack from the nerve-shot Usagi. She sat and picked up her spoon as she heaved a heavy angry sigh in Mamoru's direction.
Mamoru said nothing. He sat there mentally kicking himself in the butt for being an idiot. Didn't he graduate with honors? Isn't he in college on scholarship? Wasn't his intelligence known campus-wide? So why was he so dumb?! He continued sipping a new cup of coffee. He'd discovered many weeks back that if Usagi was seated on the next stool as she was now, and his coffee was facing a certain direction and angle, he could watch her reflection in his warm black beverage. He watched her in his coffee cup as she enjoyed her ice-cream, the tantalizing way she licked her spoon reminded him of how much he'd love to kiss her. He sat there watching her calm down with each bite of cold chocolate that slid down her throat. He thought of it melting as it reached her warm lips...
She jumped up, let her spoon clatter into the empty glass bowl and thanked Motoki. She'd disappeared from his coffee mug. Her heard her tiny footsteps headed towards the door when her heard a thud, followed shortly by a shrill "Oof!" of someone who'd just gotten the wind knocked from them. He looked up and...saw no one. His eyes traveled downward and there sat Usagi. He couldn't control himself. He burst into a fit of laughter.
"Oh shut up!" she yelled angrily. It was bad enough she'd fallen right on her butt and was in pain but this idiot was laughing. "Wonderful." she thought to herself. "I have THIS pain in the butt..." looked toward Mamoru, "and THAT pain in the butt."
"I'm-hahaha- so sorry- hahahahaha- it's just- hahahahaha- so -haha- funny!" he choked out between his fits of hysterical laughter, and controlled the urge to point while laughing.
She groaned. "Oh my muffins." as she clutched her backside.
Wrong thing to say. Mamoru, who was beginning to calm down, began laughing even harder at this comment. "YOUR WHAT?"
"My muffins, you jerk!" she hurled back at him.
"I can't *snicker* believe *repressed snort* you call your butt....your...your...MUFFINS! HAHAHAHA!" he began again.
And so Usagi stomped out angrily as usual. Mamoru calmed down shortly after she'd left, missing her presence. "Well," he thought to himself. "There's always tomorrow."
