Disclaimer: I do not own Rugrats there are you happy? I said it.
Help Me Feel Again
Chuckie Finister looked up from the book he had been reading. His mother and sister were outside doing some gardening together and his father was out. He was lying on his bed in his room. The doorbell had rung but as far as he knew they weren't going to have any visitors. Chuckie set the book down a little annoyed from being disturbed and went to the front door. He opened it and there was Tommy Pickles standing there smiling. "Hey Chuckie." He said.
Chuckie was now 18 and his friend 17 (I think that's right. Wasn't Chuckie one year older? If not then they're both 18.) Chuckie had gotten contacts a while back and looked much cuter than his younger days. (Not that he wasn't cute but now he's more cute) Still wild haired he had had his braces removed and was still rather pale. He now had become a little muscular after getting tired of being pushed around. Today he had a white t-shirt and some tan cargo pants on and no shoes as he had just been lounging around that fine Saturday.
Tommy had also become muscular with his dark hair grown long. He wore a lot of black lately seeing as some rather upsetting changes had happened in his life. The dark grown hair was also because of the changes. Tommy wore a black shirt and a black jacket what with the chill in the air. He had large black pants and boots and looked rather gothic. Though Tommy kept up with his happy personality there was always an air of sadness.
You see Tommy's younger brother Dill had been a good little boy as would be expected but he had made a new friend. The boy's name had been Miracles. He had been a nice guy but wasn't really considered a good boy by most because he had been deprived of as good a life as Dill. Well to make a long story short Miracles and Dill had become more than friends. Dill's parents had been shocked at the news of their youngest son being gay but had accepted him either way. They had gone out one night just to have some good clean fun as they were walking home four drunks had caught the two. That night Dill had lost his life and Miracles had barely survived but now lived with a panging pain in his heart.
Tommy had been devastated for the last year. He had loved his little brother and tried to protect him as much as possible. Tommy had cried for days on end. Chuckie and the others had tried to get Tommy to talk to them and cry upon their shoulders but Tommy pushed them away. At one point he had locked himself in his room and for 2 days did not come out. Only when his mother came to the door one night crying and said that he needed to come out and eat otherwise he would kill himself and she could not live if both her sons died did he open the door. He had apologized to her and after that had quieted about it.
He had started to eat and sleep again. He tried to return to his usual self but did not do so well. He did not act like the incident never happened but avoided the subject as much as possible. He went to his brother's grave every holiday but if ever Dill came up in a conversation he would politely remove himself from the room or would change the subject as quickly as possible.
'He is so hot in all that black.' Chuckie thought. After a brief relationship with a girl Chuckie had realized that he didn't have an interest in girls. Like Dill he found he was gay. But had never told anyone. Why he hadn't he wasn't really sure. He had also realized he had a crush for his best friend Tommy for who knows how long.
"Hi Tommy what are you doing here?"
"Just been walking around. Wondered if you would like to walk with me?"
"Sure Tommy I just have to tell my mom. Come on in." He told Tommy. Chuckie led the way to the backyard where he found his mother and his sister. "Hey mom I'm going to go walking around with Tommy." He said.
Kira Finster looked up from the work she had been doing. "Hello Tommy." She said.
"Hello Mrs. Finster."
"That's fine Chuckie just make sure you're back for dinner I'm making something special tonight."
"Sure mom." Chuckie then followed Tommy out of the house and down the street. "So are we headed anywhere in particular?"
"The park. Figured I'd take a stroll through it then head home. Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asked.
"Sure if you don't mind stopping by my place on the way back." Chuckie answered.
Tommy nodded. It was the first time he had invited someone to stay with him in the longest time. He had been asked to stay at others' houses several times and had accepted most times just out of politeness. Truth be told he had really just wanted to go home and hide in his room as he usually did most nights. Unless it was Chuckie who had asked. He was mostly only comfortable with Chuckie. Something about Chuckie made Tommy feel at ease and made at least some of the hurt to go away.
They found their way to the large park and started in. They didn't stay long. Just walked around and soon they started back towards the gate of the park they saw someone all to familiar. Miracles was sitting by a small pond at which he was throwing bread crumbs into for a few of the ducks that were there to eat. He looked up as the two boys approached.
Miracles had platinum blonde hair that almost looked white. He had green eyes and was wearing a blue t-shirt and white pants. He was a rather small boy but something about his aura made you know that he was stronger than he looked. He stood and greeted Tommy and Chuckie with a quiet hello.
"Hi Miracles. How is everything?" Tommy asked losing the little cheerfulness he could muster these days at the sight of the boy.
"As it ever was. How are you?" Miracles asked.
"I guess as good as I'm going to get." Tommy told him.
"Don't blame Tommy." Miracles said before turning around and walking away. Tommy stared after the boy.
"Tommy what did he mean?" Chuckie asked.
"NOTHING!" Tommy raged. "Nothing at all. Let's go." He said and they headed out of the park. Chuckie had been surprised and even scared of Tommy for a moment. Though Tommy had been rather moody lately he had never just popped off like that. Somehow, someway he had always stayed cool and calm. Or well more like indifferent. Tommy led the way back to Chuckie's home where he told his parents of his plans and although Kira was upset he missed her special dinner told him to have fun. He had grabbed some clothing and followed Tommy yet again to his place.
Once there Tommy's mother and father greeted them both. Chuckie had given a polite hello but Tommy had barely given a wave of his hand before going out the backdoor. Chuckie followed him.
The spent the next few hours sitting outside talking and doing different things. Whatever had caused Tommy's outburst earlier seemed to have gone from his mind. They stayed out till Mrs. Pickles came to the back door.
"Tommy your father and I are going to go to bed now. Please don't stay out here too long it's getting chilly and we don't need you two getting sick." They nodded in agreement before she headed back inside.
"Mom's probably right let's go back inside. Besides I'm getting a little tired." Tommy told Chuckie.
"Yeah me too." They then re-entered the house. Passed through the living room and went upstairs to Tommy's bedroom.
There Chuckie was surprised. He hadn't actually seen the younger boy's room since the death of Dill. Since then it had gone under major changes. The walls were panted black. The blinders on the window had been sprayed a dark coal color. Even the ceiling had not been spared. The only light came from the one bulb in the fixture in the ceiling which Tommy had grazed with black paint dulling the brightness. The walls were cleared of any posters or pictures. It had been pretty much cleared of anything except for a bed, a desk and chair, and a table that served as a stand for a kind of mural for Dill. On the table was a black table cloth, a picture of Dill surrounded by fake flowers, and fours candles all glowing brightly. The bed had been covered with black blankets. Only the wood of the bed frame, the desk and chair, and the table escaped the rampage of darkness.
"Make yourself at home." Tommy said. It was kind of hard for Chuckie to try and himself at home in a place so dark. Chuckie sat down on the bed. Tommy went to the window were he pulled up the blinds. They stayed in silence for awhile. Tommy then said, "I guess I better pulled out some stuff for you to sleep on." He said and went to his closet in the wall. He pulled out a green comforter and a blue thin flannel sheet followed by a yellow pillow. He laid out the comforter with the pillow on top on the floor followed by the sheet. "I hope that will keep you warm and comfy for the night." He said.
"It should." Chuckie said.
One of the candles on the mural suddenly went out. Tommy noticed and looked at it. He then went over to his desk. He opened a draw and pulled out a box of matches. He took one and struck it against the box. He then went to the mural and lit the burnt out candle. He then shook the match out and set the candle back on the table. "They go out every now and then. I try to keep them lit at all times." Tommy explained to Chuckie. He replaced the match box in the desk then turned to Chuckie.
"I'll be back. I need to brush my teeth and all." Chuckie said heading for the door. Tommy nodded and sat in the chair by the desk waiting. When Chuckie came back he was in a pair of green sleep pants and had brushed teeth. He sat down on the bed. Tommy then exited too to make himself ready for bed. He came back in his black boxer's and also had his teeth brushed. He sat down on his bed beside the red haired boy. "Look Chuckie I want to apologize for snapping at you in the park."
"It's alright Tommy." Chuckie said a little quietly.
"No, it's not alright Chuckie. You're my best friend I shouldn't treat you like that. It's just sometimes it gets to be too much and I just lose it. Dad and me have had plenty of fights since Dill died because I can't keep my feelings under control. It's just without Dill...I just feel so empty. I should have been there to protect him. That's what Miracles meant back in the park. Because I blame myself." Tommy said staring at the floor.
"Tommy there's nothing you could have done. Four grown men against teens. If you had been there you probably would have also died." Chuckie said.
"If I couldn't have stopped them I could have at least died with Dill."
"No!" Chuckie said. He lifted Tommy's face up with his hand. "No, you were meant to live Tommy." He then kissed Tommy. Tommy sat in shock and before he could get his paralyzed mind to function again Chuckie pulled away and stood up from the bed. "Oh crap Tommy I'm sorry. I...I have no idea what the hell I was thinking."
Tommy sat still as he looked up at the older boy who was backed up against the wall. Tommy asked, "Chuckie did you do that because you like me?"
Chuckie stood there not saying anything. He had just ruined his relationship with Tommy forever. At least with a friendship he could be around the dark-haired boy but now he wouldn't even have that. Tommy reiterated his question. Chuckie's mind finally came back online and he nodded. Chuckie couldn't speak because his throat and mouth felt like sandpaper.
"I thought so." Tommy said standing up and walking to Chuckie. "Funny thing is," Tommy said placing his lips on Chuckie's "I like you too." He said after finishing off the kiss. "What I want to know is why didn't you tell me?" Tommy said staring into Chuckie's eyes. Chuckie stared back.
"I didn't think there was any way possible that you could like me. Also the fact that I was fairly sure you were straight didn't help matters." Chuckie said. Tommy smiled half-heartedly.
"I never said anything to you about it because of the fact that I'm scared. Chuckie after losing Dill...if I were to lose you too I would kill myself." Tommy said turning around and walking a little away his head down. He then looked to the mural at his right. "I was actually suicidal after Dill died. If hadn't been for the thought that you were here and mom well she would probably die of grief if I left her too I would have killed myself. I loved him that much. Like I said without him I feel empty." His head fell again.
Chuckie stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have too. I know I could never replace Dill. I wouldn't want to. But I would like to try and fill at least some of the emptiness. The hurt will never go away but at least I can try to take some of the sting from it." Chuckie then walked around to look Tommy in the eye. Tommy lifted his head. "I know that you're scared. I would be too. But would Dill want you to spend the rest of your life scared? You've saved me a lot. Let me save you this time."
Tommy then fell into Chuckie's arms and cried. He cried and cried but as he cried he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Tommy felt more alive than he had in a year. Chuckie let him cry on his shoulder. When Tommy finished feeling much better he led Chuckie to his bed. They climbed into the bed where the laid together in each others arms.
"Thank you so much." Tommy said nuzzling Chuckie's neck.
"For what?" Chuckie asked.
"For helping me feel again." Tommy said. Chuckie smiled and soon after they fell asleep. Of course they would be woken by a rather surprised yell coming from Didi's mouth the next morning.
You like? I certainly did. Course I wrote it. If there is something I messed up like ages or names or something tell me because it's been a small while since I have actually seen a Rugrats episode. Please don't hate me for that. Please R/R. Oh and anyone who wants to flame me for writing a Tommy/Chuckie fic it shall be laughed at then deleted from my inbox. Love ya,
Screamarie.
Help Me Feel Again
Chuckie Finister looked up from the book he had been reading. His mother and sister were outside doing some gardening together and his father was out. He was lying on his bed in his room. The doorbell had rung but as far as he knew they weren't going to have any visitors. Chuckie set the book down a little annoyed from being disturbed and went to the front door. He opened it and there was Tommy Pickles standing there smiling. "Hey Chuckie." He said.
Chuckie was now 18 and his friend 17 (I think that's right. Wasn't Chuckie one year older? If not then they're both 18.) Chuckie had gotten contacts a while back and looked much cuter than his younger days. (Not that he wasn't cute but now he's more cute) Still wild haired he had had his braces removed and was still rather pale. He now had become a little muscular after getting tired of being pushed around. Today he had a white t-shirt and some tan cargo pants on and no shoes as he had just been lounging around that fine Saturday.
Tommy had also become muscular with his dark hair grown long. He wore a lot of black lately seeing as some rather upsetting changes had happened in his life. The dark grown hair was also because of the changes. Tommy wore a black shirt and a black jacket what with the chill in the air. He had large black pants and boots and looked rather gothic. Though Tommy kept up with his happy personality there was always an air of sadness.
You see Tommy's younger brother Dill had been a good little boy as would be expected but he had made a new friend. The boy's name had been Miracles. He had been a nice guy but wasn't really considered a good boy by most because he had been deprived of as good a life as Dill. Well to make a long story short Miracles and Dill had become more than friends. Dill's parents had been shocked at the news of their youngest son being gay but had accepted him either way. They had gone out one night just to have some good clean fun as they were walking home four drunks had caught the two. That night Dill had lost his life and Miracles had barely survived but now lived with a panging pain in his heart.
Tommy had been devastated for the last year. He had loved his little brother and tried to protect him as much as possible. Tommy had cried for days on end. Chuckie and the others had tried to get Tommy to talk to them and cry upon their shoulders but Tommy pushed them away. At one point he had locked himself in his room and for 2 days did not come out. Only when his mother came to the door one night crying and said that he needed to come out and eat otherwise he would kill himself and she could not live if both her sons died did he open the door. He had apologized to her and after that had quieted about it.
He had started to eat and sleep again. He tried to return to his usual self but did not do so well. He did not act like the incident never happened but avoided the subject as much as possible. He went to his brother's grave every holiday but if ever Dill came up in a conversation he would politely remove himself from the room or would change the subject as quickly as possible.
'He is so hot in all that black.' Chuckie thought. After a brief relationship with a girl Chuckie had realized that he didn't have an interest in girls. Like Dill he found he was gay. But had never told anyone. Why he hadn't he wasn't really sure. He had also realized he had a crush for his best friend Tommy for who knows how long.
"Hi Tommy what are you doing here?"
"Just been walking around. Wondered if you would like to walk with me?"
"Sure Tommy I just have to tell my mom. Come on in." He told Tommy. Chuckie led the way to the backyard where he found his mother and his sister. "Hey mom I'm going to go walking around with Tommy." He said.
Kira Finster looked up from the work she had been doing. "Hello Tommy." She said.
"Hello Mrs. Finster."
"That's fine Chuckie just make sure you're back for dinner I'm making something special tonight."
"Sure mom." Chuckie then followed Tommy out of the house and down the street. "So are we headed anywhere in particular?"
"The park. Figured I'd take a stroll through it then head home. Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asked.
"Sure if you don't mind stopping by my place on the way back." Chuckie answered.
Tommy nodded. It was the first time he had invited someone to stay with him in the longest time. He had been asked to stay at others' houses several times and had accepted most times just out of politeness. Truth be told he had really just wanted to go home and hide in his room as he usually did most nights. Unless it was Chuckie who had asked. He was mostly only comfortable with Chuckie. Something about Chuckie made Tommy feel at ease and made at least some of the hurt to go away.
They found their way to the large park and started in. They didn't stay long. Just walked around and soon they started back towards the gate of the park they saw someone all to familiar. Miracles was sitting by a small pond at which he was throwing bread crumbs into for a few of the ducks that were there to eat. He looked up as the two boys approached.
Miracles had platinum blonde hair that almost looked white. He had green eyes and was wearing a blue t-shirt and white pants. He was a rather small boy but something about his aura made you know that he was stronger than he looked. He stood and greeted Tommy and Chuckie with a quiet hello.
"Hi Miracles. How is everything?" Tommy asked losing the little cheerfulness he could muster these days at the sight of the boy.
"As it ever was. How are you?" Miracles asked.
"I guess as good as I'm going to get." Tommy told him.
"Don't blame Tommy." Miracles said before turning around and walking away. Tommy stared after the boy.
"Tommy what did he mean?" Chuckie asked.
"NOTHING!" Tommy raged. "Nothing at all. Let's go." He said and they headed out of the park. Chuckie had been surprised and even scared of Tommy for a moment. Though Tommy had been rather moody lately he had never just popped off like that. Somehow, someway he had always stayed cool and calm. Or well more like indifferent. Tommy led the way back to Chuckie's home where he told his parents of his plans and although Kira was upset he missed her special dinner told him to have fun. He had grabbed some clothing and followed Tommy yet again to his place.
Once there Tommy's mother and father greeted them both. Chuckie had given a polite hello but Tommy had barely given a wave of his hand before going out the backdoor. Chuckie followed him.
The spent the next few hours sitting outside talking and doing different things. Whatever had caused Tommy's outburst earlier seemed to have gone from his mind. They stayed out till Mrs. Pickles came to the back door.
"Tommy your father and I are going to go to bed now. Please don't stay out here too long it's getting chilly and we don't need you two getting sick." They nodded in agreement before she headed back inside.
"Mom's probably right let's go back inside. Besides I'm getting a little tired." Tommy told Chuckie.
"Yeah me too." They then re-entered the house. Passed through the living room and went upstairs to Tommy's bedroom.
There Chuckie was surprised. He hadn't actually seen the younger boy's room since the death of Dill. Since then it had gone under major changes. The walls were panted black. The blinders on the window had been sprayed a dark coal color. Even the ceiling had not been spared. The only light came from the one bulb in the fixture in the ceiling which Tommy had grazed with black paint dulling the brightness. The walls were cleared of any posters or pictures. It had been pretty much cleared of anything except for a bed, a desk and chair, and a table that served as a stand for a kind of mural for Dill. On the table was a black table cloth, a picture of Dill surrounded by fake flowers, and fours candles all glowing brightly. The bed had been covered with black blankets. Only the wood of the bed frame, the desk and chair, and the table escaped the rampage of darkness.
"Make yourself at home." Tommy said. It was kind of hard for Chuckie to try and himself at home in a place so dark. Chuckie sat down on the bed. Tommy went to the window were he pulled up the blinds. They stayed in silence for awhile. Tommy then said, "I guess I better pulled out some stuff for you to sleep on." He said and went to his closet in the wall. He pulled out a green comforter and a blue thin flannel sheet followed by a yellow pillow. He laid out the comforter with the pillow on top on the floor followed by the sheet. "I hope that will keep you warm and comfy for the night." He said.
"It should." Chuckie said.
One of the candles on the mural suddenly went out. Tommy noticed and looked at it. He then went over to his desk. He opened a draw and pulled out a box of matches. He took one and struck it against the box. He then went to the mural and lit the burnt out candle. He then shook the match out and set the candle back on the table. "They go out every now and then. I try to keep them lit at all times." Tommy explained to Chuckie. He replaced the match box in the desk then turned to Chuckie.
"I'll be back. I need to brush my teeth and all." Chuckie said heading for the door. Tommy nodded and sat in the chair by the desk waiting. When Chuckie came back he was in a pair of green sleep pants and had brushed teeth. He sat down on the bed. Tommy then exited too to make himself ready for bed. He came back in his black boxer's and also had his teeth brushed. He sat down on his bed beside the red haired boy. "Look Chuckie I want to apologize for snapping at you in the park."
"It's alright Tommy." Chuckie said a little quietly.
"No, it's not alright Chuckie. You're my best friend I shouldn't treat you like that. It's just sometimes it gets to be too much and I just lose it. Dad and me have had plenty of fights since Dill died because I can't keep my feelings under control. It's just without Dill...I just feel so empty. I should have been there to protect him. That's what Miracles meant back in the park. Because I blame myself." Tommy said staring at the floor.
"Tommy there's nothing you could have done. Four grown men against teens. If you had been there you probably would have also died." Chuckie said.
"If I couldn't have stopped them I could have at least died with Dill."
"No!" Chuckie said. He lifted Tommy's face up with his hand. "No, you were meant to live Tommy." He then kissed Tommy. Tommy sat in shock and before he could get his paralyzed mind to function again Chuckie pulled away and stood up from the bed. "Oh crap Tommy I'm sorry. I...I have no idea what the hell I was thinking."
Tommy sat still as he looked up at the older boy who was backed up against the wall. Tommy asked, "Chuckie did you do that because you like me?"
Chuckie stood there not saying anything. He had just ruined his relationship with Tommy forever. At least with a friendship he could be around the dark-haired boy but now he wouldn't even have that. Tommy reiterated his question. Chuckie's mind finally came back online and he nodded. Chuckie couldn't speak because his throat and mouth felt like sandpaper.
"I thought so." Tommy said standing up and walking to Chuckie. "Funny thing is," Tommy said placing his lips on Chuckie's "I like you too." He said after finishing off the kiss. "What I want to know is why didn't you tell me?" Tommy said staring into Chuckie's eyes. Chuckie stared back.
"I didn't think there was any way possible that you could like me. Also the fact that I was fairly sure you were straight didn't help matters." Chuckie said. Tommy smiled half-heartedly.
"I never said anything to you about it because of the fact that I'm scared. Chuckie after losing Dill...if I were to lose you too I would kill myself." Tommy said turning around and walking a little away his head down. He then looked to the mural at his right. "I was actually suicidal after Dill died. If hadn't been for the thought that you were here and mom well she would probably die of grief if I left her too I would have killed myself. I loved him that much. Like I said without him I feel empty." His head fell again.
Chuckie stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have too. I know I could never replace Dill. I wouldn't want to. But I would like to try and fill at least some of the emptiness. The hurt will never go away but at least I can try to take some of the sting from it." Chuckie then walked around to look Tommy in the eye. Tommy lifted his head. "I know that you're scared. I would be too. But would Dill want you to spend the rest of your life scared? You've saved me a lot. Let me save you this time."
Tommy then fell into Chuckie's arms and cried. He cried and cried but as he cried he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Tommy felt more alive than he had in a year. Chuckie let him cry on his shoulder. When Tommy finished feeling much better he led Chuckie to his bed. They climbed into the bed where the laid together in each others arms.
"Thank you so much." Tommy said nuzzling Chuckie's neck.
"For what?" Chuckie asked.
"For helping me feel again." Tommy said. Chuckie smiled and soon after they fell asleep. Of course they would be woken by a rather surprised yell coming from Didi's mouth the next morning.
You like? I certainly did. Course I wrote it. If there is something I messed up like ages or names or something tell me because it's been a small while since I have actually seen a Rugrats episode. Please don't hate me for that. Please R/R. Oh and anyone who wants to flame me for writing a Tommy/Chuckie fic it shall be laughed at then deleted from my inbox. Love ya,
Screamarie.
