Title: The Fate that Binds us
Author: DemonicCharity
Email: FaerieWings46@aol.com
Rating: R for language purposes and future events.
Warning: This is Slash. BoyxBoy. Homosexual relationships. If you don't like leave now or forever hold your peace, because I don't want to hear your complaints.
Disclaimer: If they were mine would I be writing for free on this site? No. Harry and Draco fully belong to Ms. Rowling, though if I could have them....well....let's leave that to our imaginations, eh?
Summary: Harry and Draco are sick of the petty games they have played in the past, but sins aren't so easily forgotten. Harry must prove that he isn't afraid of what Fate has to offer him, while Draco must prove that he is willing to stand up to his Father, and himself. This is their last chance at love and salvation....will they find it?
Notes: My fingers hurt! I'm trying to get this out as fast as possible without screwing it up to bad, so be patient with me. If you like, please leave a review. I like reviews!
Chapter 2 The Connection That Binds Us
The figure slid his hand down Draco's smooth chest, outlining the curve and swell of every muscle, teasing as he ran his fingers over formed stomach in maddening circles against the fabric of a long sleeved, silk, night shirt. Draco gasped and pushed against him, mouth seeking out his, meeting him with force for force.
Draco pushed him over onto the soft bed sheets, straddling him, never breaking the kiss that seemed to be his life link. The figure quickly removed his own shirt, letting Draco's eyes roam over bronze skin, begging to feel lips, hands, anything Draco could offer.
"Don't just sit there and look! Do something! Anything!" The figure whimpered, anxiety in his eyes. Green eyes. Emerald eyes that reflected the forest's ancient magic. Harry's eyes. Harry's skin. Oh, God. Yes! Draco leaned down and placed fleeting kisses across the skin he could now claim for his own. Yes, Draco could claim Harry. No one would hurt him, they wouldn't dare.
Draco sucked on one pink nipple, then the other, teasing with lips and just the slightest hint of teeth. Draco felt Harry's hands bury themselves in his hair as he carried on downwards
'He's yearning now, I can feel it. A physical urge...No. A need. A fucking need. Oh, god. Yes.' Draco pulled his own shirt off, then began his ministrations once again, but felt no response from the boy underneath him. He looked up to see two wide eyes of endless green.
"You...You're a...You lied to me..." Draco tilted his head, not understanding what Harry was getting at. Draco hadn't lied about anything.
"Harry? What is it?" All Draco wanted was to please the boy underneath him, to serve him, give him everything he had, but something in Harry's eyes made him afraid of that decision. "Harry-"
"Don't call me that! You're a lying, deceitful bastard, Malfoy!" Harry pushed him off and crawled to the other side of the bed. "Y-You fucking lied to me!"
"I don't understand, Harry! What did I lie to you about? What's wrong?" Draco sucked in a short breath when he saw the look Harry was giving him. 'What have I done? Why is he looking at me with such hate?'
"You're one of them." Harry hissed. "A-A Death Eater! You willing work for the bastard who killed my parents! Are you a spy too? Have you been telling Voldemort that you have me wound around your fucking finger? That you could slit my throat while I slept in your bed?!"
Draco's eyes were wide with shock and he looked down at his arm. The Mark was there, bared in all it's glory. But Draco hadn't received the Mark. He had refused it! Refused to become what Lucius and Voldemort had almost forced on him. But...But there it was! "No! Harry I didn't! I swear! I never accepted his Mark! I never-"
But Harry was gone...
And Draco was alone. Always alone.
He woke up screaming.
* * * * * *
Harry lay awake in his new bed, his hands behind his head. This new room all to himself wasn't bad. Now he could get some quiet time in the evenings. Not that things were ever that loud anymore. His thought traveled to recent events, as they did almost every night now, keeping his awake to dawn more often than not. Voldemort making another attempt on his life this summer, the Dursley's being as welcoming as ever, Hermione's silent treatment, Ron's now nervous and confused looks. Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy. That was something he defiantly hadn't been counting on. Everytime Harry went back to the event earlier on the train, he got the same conclusion. Draco had done what he did, not because it was something Malfoyish to do, but because it was the last thing expected of him. 'He didn't even expect himself to do it!' Harry's mind whirled. 'So the question is, Did he enjoy it as much as I did, and if so, Where do we go from here?'
Harry shook his head. 'I think I'm getting way ahead of myself here. I don't even like guys, let alone my worst enemy. But I won't deny there had been something there today. Something unreadable, something I don't think Hermione could even translate.'
This brought more thoughts of sadness. 'Hermione...' He truly missed his loyal best friend that had been there for him for the past six years. She wouldn't help him with homework, wouldn't stick of for him in Snape's class, didn't come to last year's Final Quidditch game. She wouldn't even acknowledge him at meals anymore. All because of a tiny misunderstanding.
'Well...ok....Maybe not tiny...' Harry admitted to himself and shifted position to his side, feeling a bit sick. Hermione had willingly opened her self to him, sharing personal feelings that Harry never knew she had. Feelings that Hermione thought he would return whole-heartedly.
Unfortunately, Harry didn't think of Hermione as anything other than a close friend and had, as gently as possible, let her down. But Hermione wasn't as gentle as he had been. She had given him the worst tongue- lashing he had ever received. Everything that was wrong with him, she blatantly pointed out, every fault he had acquired, she exposed. In other words, she had turned from a kind, understanding friend, to a Royal Bitch.
Harry sighed. Then there was Ginny. That had gone even worse than with Hermione. Harry had known since fifth year Ron's little sister had an obsession with him, and when he turned Hermione down, she thought he did it because he liked her. 'Mother Night...' Harry once again shifted positions. He felt so guilty letting them both down. Letting Ron and his family down.
Seamus and Dean were now ignoring him as well, though not from anything he had done. They were to immersed in eachother and their classes to note his internal sadness. But when Harry saw them together in the common room, saw their glances of eternal longing, heard them when they forgot to place a silencing charm around their bed at night, Harry felt an eternal emptiness inside him. One he could never even hope to fill.
They were in love. They had something Harry would always lack. Love, understanding, even that territorial look they gave someone who was getting too close for their own comfort. Harry would never find someone who would be territorial and loving towards him. Never.
And it saddened him deeply.
It was one thing to be the school's newest, most shaggable boy, but that was a completely physical thing. Harry didn't want to be in a relationship for just physical pleasure, sure that part of it, but it lacked what he needed. He wanted someone who would see Harry Potter, not the Boy-Who-Lived, or some fleeting sex fling.
But in the Wizarding World, things were so different from Muggle lifestyles. Sex was completely casual here. You were pretty much expected to lose your virginity by fifteen, and if you didn't, you weren't seen as some sort of hero, saving yourself for your marriage partner, but as a freak who couldn't get any. Or just as someone too stuck up to find anyone good enough to sleep with. Like Malfoy.
'God,' Harry thought with misery. 'I must really be stuck on him. This is completely crazy. Even if he would want to be with me, he could never want me for being Harry Potter. He hates Harry Potter! Or...Does he hate The-Boy-Who-Lived? What does it matter, anyways? I'll never get my hands on him. Ever.'
Harry rubbed his eyes and looked at his clock. 2:24 in the fucking morning. 'I really need to get some better habits here, this is absolutely ridiculous!' He turned once more in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position, hoping to get all thoughts of Malfoy out of his head and find sleep. Classes did start tomorrow, after all. So did the fight for survival. Mentally and physically.
* * * * * *
Harry sat down at breakfast, not saying a word to anyone around him. 'What's the point? Half of them hate me and the other half are still asleep.' Hermione and Ginny were quietly whispering, while Ron's nose was in his eggs. Seamus and Dean were making out and Neville was rummaging through his things, looking for a quill and ink. He sighed and picked up two pieces of french toast and dropped them on his plate.
'Why do I have this odd feeling this year is going to absolutely suck?' He thought sarcastically. 'Atleast I have Quidditch and that new Student Head thing to keep me busy this year. Thank the gods for small miracles...' Absently he began eating...well, picking at his food would be the more obvious observation, but that was the thing. No one noticed anymore.
Harry looked up sharply as someone's chair clattered to the floor across the room, creating a loud disturbance across the Hall. Ron even sat up, looking over in the direction of the noise.
"I said to keep your fucking hands off me!" Draco. He was trembling, trying to compose himself, but wasn't doing such a splendid at it. He looked absolutely terrified, as if someone had put poison in his drink. Ron would think that was a great idea, and Harry would have whole- heartedly agreed until recently.
"Draco...I'm sorry...I didn't mean-" Pansy was trying to apologize, looking absolutely sticken, but it seemed to make no effect on Draco, as he was slowly backing away towards the doors that would lead him down to his new private dorms.
"You never fucking mean to, Parkinson, but it always happens! Can't you all understand?! Keep away from me! I'm not like you bastards! I'll never be like you, never!" Draco looked wild, on the edge of insanity, a look Harry had never seen on him before.
Draco looked up to meet Harry's eyes for the briefest moment, then tore out of the Hall as if a wild beast was chasing him.
Harry dropped his fork as he stared at the empty spot Draco had occupied only seconds before. He had seen such raw emotion in those sapphire eyes as Draco looked at Harry with such a sad, defeated, and betrayed glance. It made him feel sick to him stomach, and he quickly pushed his food away.
"I wonder what's gotten into him?" Ron wondered outloud, fully awake now. "It's not like Malfoy to push Pansy away. They were going out in Fourth Year weren't they?"
Hermione shrugged. "Doesn't concern me. But I do wonder how he will get to classes today. He didn't even have time to pick up his schedule."
Harry stared at his exbest friend in shock. "That's all you can think about, isn't it?" Her attention turned to him for the first time in months. "God, Hermione. I thought you were a better human being than that!" Shock turned into anger and a fierce need to protect the blonde boy who had crashed out of the Hall minutes before.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"He's fucking breaking down and all you care about is fucking classes? Your priorities have always been a little off, Hermione, but isn't that going a bit far? Don't you realize what Malfoy just told the entire Hall?" She looked at him blankly. "He just told everyone to fuck off because he doesn't want to be a fucking Death Eater!" The entire Griffindor table was looking at him oddly now.
"What does it matter to you, Potter?" Hermione glared at him. "The last time I checked, Malfoy was your worst enemy and you were wishing the worst on him."
"So we're not even using first names anymore, are we, Granger? You're such a self-serving, stuck up, bitch! All you care about is yourself and your happiness! Well wake up! Not everything is about perfect little Hermione!" Harry stood up, also knocking his chair over. This was completely uncalled for. "And for your information, Malfoy isn't my worst enemy! If you've forgotten, I have a fucking lunatic after my head, Hermione!"
"So you do like Malfoy!" She gasped. "On the train..."
Harry turned to Ron. "What did you tell her?" He demanded. "What the fuck did you open your mouth for? Especially with the way she's been treating me! She'll do anything to make my life hell and you give her exactly what she's looking for!"
Ron's ears turned red, but he didn't say anything. Ginny was now in tears and Hermione was sitting in a shocked silence. The whole Hall was now looking at him, and had been for the past minute.
"I think I'll take a line from Malfoy, here. Stay the fuck away from me! All of you!" And with that Harry stormed out of the hall, grabbing his schedule from a shocked Professor McGonagall.
* * * * * *
Draco showed in Harry's second class of the day. A class he really wasn't looking forward to. Divination said it all, didn't it? Harry thought how ironic it was that he was taking a class that he wouldn't need, as he didn't have a future to see. Of course he would predict his death as always just to please the large, bug-eyed teacher, but it brought a pang of regret this year, not just annoyance as it had in the past.
Harry didn't want to die. He really didn't. Life wasn't all that great, but it was worth being able to touch, to see...to feel. Unfortunately all he wanted to feel right now was Draco's lips, and that currently wasn't an option.
Draco looked absolutely terrible as he sat down at an empty table, mirroring exactly how Harry looked and felt. His heart went out to the blonde boy who seemed to be in so much pain right now. Harry wondered what it felt to be abandoned by everyone he cared about, just because he didn't do what they wanted him to do. 'Oh, wait. I have been abandoned for that reason,' he thought darkly. 'Bloody brilliant, Potter,' he scolded himself, then shook his head. Wallowing in self pity wasn't going to make his problems disappear, nor was it going to get him any closer to Draco.
"Would you like to take a seat, Mr. Potter? Class is about to begin." Professor Trelawny was kindly waiting on him, looking at him with huge eyes full of pity. Harry kept a reign on his temper and headed over to the table Draco was sitting at, dumping his things rather loudly.
"I don't know why I bother with this class anymore." He mumbled and pulled out his new, and rather thick book, a quill and emerald ink he had bought over the summer holidays.
"Don't you have somewhere else to sit, Potter?" Harry looked up to see Draco once again looking terrified, as if Harry's mere presence was the thing that Draco feared most. "It's not proper for a Griffindor to be sitting with a Slytherin."
"I had come to the conclusion this morning you didn't care what's proper and what other people think, Malfoy." Harry said softly, giving him an encouraging smile. "I really respect that."
Malfoy was speechless to say the least, but Harry didn't have time to contemplate that rather odd look Draco was giving him, as Professor Trelawny began class. "This year we will be focusing on a more general branch of Divination." Harry wondered when Divination wasn't general and a complete waste of time, but continued listening. "We will start off the first semester with meditation, then progress onto the more difficult task of interpreting dreams." Harry raised an eyebrow. 'You mean all I get to do in this class this year is nap and make up dreams? Well fuck, that sounds easy enough. Maybe she'll even lay off the death predictions for a while.' He sighed in relief.
"Mr. Potter?" Harry had thought too soon. "Are you feeling alright?" Professor Trelawny was now hovering over him, looking as if he was about to drop dead any second. Harry turned to Draco and rolled his eyes, placing his chin in his palm and mirroring every word the Professor spoke. "I know this class must be hard for you," she frowned, "especially when all your future holds is sadness and an unpleasant death. I am especially proud that you have returned to this class, even when seeing your disagreeable end makes you nervous and pale."
Draco barely hid a smile while watching Potter mimic every word Trelawny said. 'He's amazing,' Draco thought absently, 'completely amazing. He doesn't even fear death.' The blonde boy frowned. 'He should fear. I do. I fear his death over my own.' Draco looked away as Harry's eyes filled with concern. 'I really have fallen, haven't I? Fallen for the one person who has been my enemy for the past six years. In all of two days I've lost everything I worked years to gain. Yet, for some reason, when I look into those eyes, I don't care.' He looked back up at Harry and gave the boy a genuine smile.
"Now meditating can be extremely difficult," Trelawny began explaining. "Especially the form we will be practicing today." Harry wondered how difficult this could be. 'All you have to do is close your eyes and concentrate...' How wrong he was. "Today you will all split into pairs and attempt, and I mean attempt, I don't expect any of you to be able to do this, to connect to your partner. As this is extremely difficult we will spend a few weeks trying to establish the connection, and know that your grade is not based on if you can achieve this goal, but how hard you work toward achieving it. Now, open your books to page 348 and read the first paragraph, then I want you to pick a partner and find an area where you will both be comfortable and able to work."
Harry opened his book and began reading. 'Yada, yada...' Harry thought as he read, 'What a waste of time. Who wants to connect with me, anyways?' "Potter? Would you be my partner?" Harry looked up to see Malfoy biting his lower lip, looking anywhere but Harry's eyes. 'D..Draco wants to be my partner? He just...offered...to work with me. Me. Harry Potter.'
"Um..Sure, Malfoy..." Harry smiled as the other boy looked at him with shock. 'He didn't think I'd do it. Not after the train ride yesterday. God, he's got it backwards.' "Let's go over to that corner," Harry pointed and stood up, grabbed his book, and made his way through the crowd of moving students to an unoccupied corner, expecting Draco to follow.
Harry sat and crossed his legs, watching closely as Draco also lowered himself to the floor, still looking terrified. "Hmm..." Harry opened his book, flipping to the page he had just read. "Ok...Now when we 'connect' we're supposed to hear eachothers thoughts?"
"And feel what the other is feeling." Draco also had his book open to the page they had been reading. "What a bunch of rubbish. If hardly anyone has ever accomplished this, why are we expected to be able to it?" He sighed heavily.
Harry shrugged. "Well...Like she said, it's not actually doing it that's getting us the grade, its how hard we try." He smirked and Draco felt his heart trip and fall somewhere out of reach. 'Potter just looked....sexy. Oh gods! Draco don't do this to yourself, you can't handle this right now!' "Now...We have to be as comfortable as possible...and...." Harry reread the paragraph silently and quickly. "And we have to link hands. It says to let your mind drift for a few moments before calling out to the other person." Harry raised an eyebrow. "It's quite thorough in directions, isn't it?"
Draco snickered, but felt his heart beat speed up as Harry took his hands, and wove his bronze fingers through Draco's pale ones. 'So...soft,' Draco thought as his eyes flickered closed. Everything felt so right and perfect as Draco sat with Harry, their hands locked together in an eternal understanding. 'God...Harry...' Draco took a shaky breath, never wanting to part from the other boy. How he wished he could establish that connection, to be able to know what Harry knew, felt what he felt.
In that same moment, Harry desired the same thing Draco did. He wanted to help the other boy heal, to forget the pain he had indured in the past, to make his life heaven, even if that meant just being a close friend. Then he heard it, Draco's soft voice echoing in his mind, *God...Harry...* His name sounded so sensual coming from the other boy, and Harry realized it was the first time his first name had come from Draco's lips.
*Draco? Can you hear me?* Harry heard the other boy gasp audibly.
*Potter? Is that you?*
*Yea. Well shit. It worked. I don't fucking believe this, I've connected with my number one school rival for the past six years. I'll be damned.* Harry regretted the words even as he thought them, because like Draco had said earlier, they could feel the other's emotions, and Draco was screaming pain and agony at the moment.
*I'm sorry, Potter. For all those things I've done to you. Look at me...* Harry opened his eyes to see a tear slip down Draco's cheek. He wanted to kiss that tear away, and all the others Draco had ever cried. *You...You what?* Draco's eyes widened and Harry realized Draco had heard what he had been thinking, and what he felt.
Harry blushed and looked away, but Draco had unlocked his fingers with Harry's and turned his head, so he would have to look at Draco. *I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable...*
*Did I feel uncomfortable?* Draco frowned. *I feel uncomfortable about the way I've treated you and your friends the past six years, but not about...you know...what you just said...or thought...or whatever...* The blonde boy seemed flustered and began chewing on his bottom lip again.
*I've never noticed you did that before...* Harry lightly brushed his fingers over Draco's lips, sighing in pleasure. *I never noticed...Maybe their's alot I haven't noticed about you...And besides...* Harry looked around and removed his fingers as the Professor made her rounds among the students. *Their really not my friends right now, anyways...*
Draco felt Harry's sadness and reached out, wanting to comfort the boy. *What happened? You three used to do everything together...Detention, trips to Professor Dumbledore's office, everything.*
*Hermione hates me because...* Harry stopped, thinking hard. *Can I show you?* Draco blinked, then nodded, not really understanding until Harry's memories flashed through his mind.
*That bitch!* Draco seethed. *How dare she treat you like that! Just because you don't like her as more than a friend!* Harry felt truly moved that Draco felt this way about that particular memory. Draco smiled, then asked tentivly. *What happened with Weasley?*
*He...He told Hermione about the train yesterday...With you and me...and...they think I like boys...* Harry seemed confused about the entire event. *I don't even know what happened yesterday, Draco. I can't decide what I think about you because I don't know if you really meant what you did...or...didn't do...*
Draco felt moved. Harry was opening up to him on an issue he apparently didn't feel comfortable talking with his friends about. *Potter- *
*Can you not call me that anymore? I think we've moved past that point in our lives, don't you? When you say my last name like that it reminds me of how much we hated eachother in the past.*
*You don't hate me now?* Draco questioned, not quite sure if he wanted the answer.
*No, Draco. I don't hate you now. Like I said...I don't know exactly what to feel...but I know it isn't hate. It can't be hate.* Harry smiled reassuringly at the other boy who looked so fragile at the moment.
*Harry...I don't exactly know what happened on the train either...* He felt a pang of grief come from Harry, but continued. *All I know is that...that...I rather liked it...and...* Draco trailed off, feeling betrayed by himself for letting Harry know his true feelings.
*Draco...Look at me...* When Draco looked up, Harry was smiling and his cheeks were somewhat tinged with red. *I...I suppose I feel the same way too...* Harry opened his feelings and watched Draco's expression flicker from relief to happiness. *But I don't know where to go from here...I don't know if, or bloody well how, a relationship is supposed to work...And that's if you even want something like that...*
Draco sighed in relief. Harry was having the same doubts as he did. *I want it Harry. I do. I just don't know how to handle something like this...I want to be able to trust you...I want you to trust me!* Draco's dream from the night before flashed through his mind, and he watched as Harry paled.
*Are you?* Harry looked down at his arm.
*No!* Draco practically ripped his shirt as he showed Harry his pale, smooth skin where the Dark Mark was supposed to go. *I'll never become like my father, Harry. I may not be fond of mudbloods and half breeds, but I don't want to kill them. I don't want to make muggles suffer for being who they are. They weren't given a choice, so why should they be punished?* And Harry knew Draco was telling the truth, because somehow Harry would know if the other boy was lying to him.
*Draco. you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You follow your heart when everyone around you is telling you to ignore it.* Draco blushed and Harry smiled. *So...Do you think this connection thing wears off when we stop touching? And if it does, can we connect again?*
*I...I don't know...I suppose we should try it...* Draco didn't want to let go, but Harry sent him a burst of courage, silently telling him that it'd be alright. Draco nodded and let go.
*Can you still hear me?* Draco gasped and nodded, hearing Harry's voice vibrate softly in his mind. *Bloody hell! The book says nothing about this! It's amazing!*
*Should we tell Professor Trelawny about this?* Draco asked nerviously, but was pleased all the same.
Harry looked over at their teacher darkly. *Do you want to? This seems somehow...special because only we know about it...but if you want to tell her, she might be able to get rid of the link...*
*I...I don't want to get rid of it!* Draco panicked. He quickly reached out and grabbed Harry's hands again, linking their fingers. *You don't want to get rid of it, do you?*
Harry smiled. *No. I don't ever want to get rid of it. Look at it this way, I'm in the great mind of Draco Malfoy, and I have access to every naughty little thought you have ever come up with.* Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow.
Draco blushed, but returned the sly smirk. *I bet you're not as innosent as you pretend to be, Harry. I bet I could find some pretty kinky stuff in that bloated head of yours.*
*Hey!* Harry mocked shock. *I do not have a bloated head! I'm not the one who stands infront of the mirror doing his hair everyday!*
Draco grinned. *You've noticed then?* Harry frowned and Draco laughed out loud, causing near by students to look at them oddly. *Class is almost over. Don't we have lunch next? All this telepathic touchy feely is making me rather hungry.*
*Argh! Is that all you can think about, Draco? We were just having a moment here...* Harry smiled and laughed as his own stumach grumbled.
*You're such a hypocrit, Potter.* Draco smirked, then added. *Though a sexy hypocrit at that.*
*Did you just call me sexy?* Harry looked shocked. *There is absolutely nothing sexy about me!*
*So not only do you have problems hearing, but seeing too? It's not exactly secret knowledge that you're Hogwarts newest and most shaggable. Next to me, that is.* Draco smirked confidently.
Harry looked baffled. *Do you want to shag me?*
Draco reached out and touched Harry's scar again. *There'll be plenty of time for shagging, Harry, I think I need to get used to admitting that I like you in a more than platonic way. But yes, I do want to shag you, I just think we should take things slow...*
*Right....So....You want to meet tonight? I could show you my room...* Harry smirked slyly.
*Sounds great. How about eight?* Draco grinned.
*You just completely contridicted what you just said!*
*How could anyone resist that smirk? And anyways! I'm supposed to be the good one at smirking!* Draco fake pouted, but lit up again. *Plus I want to get to know you better...If that's ok...that is...*
*And it wouldn't be ok because...?*
*Because you're too busy trying to seduce me!* Draco sighed impatiently.
*And that's bad because...?*
Draco didn't reply.
Author: DemonicCharity
Email: FaerieWings46@aol.com
Rating: R for language purposes and future events.
Warning: This is Slash. BoyxBoy. Homosexual relationships. If you don't like leave now or forever hold your peace, because I don't want to hear your complaints.
Disclaimer: If they were mine would I be writing for free on this site? No. Harry and Draco fully belong to Ms. Rowling, though if I could have them....well....let's leave that to our imaginations, eh?
Summary: Harry and Draco are sick of the petty games they have played in the past, but sins aren't so easily forgotten. Harry must prove that he isn't afraid of what Fate has to offer him, while Draco must prove that he is willing to stand up to his Father, and himself. This is their last chance at love and salvation....will they find it?
Notes: My fingers hurt! I'm trying to get this out as fast as possible without screwing it up to bad, so be patient with me. If you like, please leave a review. I like reviews!
Chapter 2 The Connection That Binds Us
The figure slid his hand down Draco's smooth chest, outlining the curve and swell of every muscle, teasing as he ran his fingers over formed stomach in maddening circles against the fabric of a long sleeved, silk, night shirt. Draco gasped and pushed against him, mouth seeking out his, meeting him with force for force.
Draco pushed him over onto the soft bed sheets, straddling him, never breaking the kiss that seemed to be his life link. The figure quickly removed his own shirt, letting Draco's eyes roam over bronze skin, begging to feel lips, hands, anything Draco could offer.
"Don't just sit there and look! Do something! Anything!" The figure whimpered, anxiety in his eyes. Green eyes. Emerald eyes that reflected the forest's ancient magic. Harry's eyes. Harry's skin. Oh, God. Yes! Draco leaned down and placed fleeting kisses across the skin he could now claim for his own. Yes, Draco could claim Harry. No one would hurt him, they wouldn't dare.
Draco sucked on one pink nipple, then the other, teasing with lips and just the slightest hint of teeth. Draco felt Harry's hands bury themselves in his hair as he carried on downwards
'He's yearning now, I can feel it. A physical urge...No. A need. A fucking need. Oh, god. Yes.' Draco pulled his own shirt off, then began his ministrations once again, but felt no response from the boy underneath him. He looked up to see two wide eyes of endless green.
"You...You're a...You lied to me..." Draco tilted his head, not understanding what Harry was getting at. Draco hadn't lied about anything.
"Harry? What is it?" All Draco wanted was to please the boy underneath him, to serve him, give him everything he had, but something in Harry's eyes made him afraid of that decision. "Harry-"
"Don't call me that! You're a lying, deceitful bastard, Malfoy!" Harry pushed him off and crawled to the other side of the bed. "Y-You fucking lied to me!"
"I don't understand, Harry! What did I lie to you about? What's wrong?" Draco sucked in a short breath when he saw the look Harry was giving him. 'What have I done? Why is he looking at me with such hate?'
"You're one of them." Harry hissed. "A-A Death Eater! You willing work for the bastard who killed my parents! Are you a spy too? Have you been telling Voldemort that you have me wound around your fucking finger? That you could slit my throat while I slept in your bed?!"
Draco's eyes were wide with shock and he looked down at his arm. The Mark was there, bared in all it's glory. But Draco hadn't received the Mark. He had refused it! Refused to become what Lucius and Voldemort had almost forced on him. But...But there it was! "No! Harry I didn't! I swear! I never accepted his Mark! I never-"
But Harry was gone...
And Draco was alone. Always alone.
He woke up screaming.
* * * * * *
Harry lay awake in his new bed, his hands behind his head. This new room all to himself wasn't bad. Now he could get some quiet time in the evenings. Not that things were ever that loud anymore. His thought traveled to recent events, as they did almost every night now, keeping his awake to dawn more often than not. Voldemort making another attempt on his life this summer, the Dursley's being as welcoming as ever, Hermione's silent treatment, Ron's now nervous and confused looks. Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy. That was something he defiantly hadn't been counting on. Everytime Harry went back to the event earlier on the train, he got the same conclusion. Draco had done what he did, not because it was something Malfoyish to do, but because it was the last thing expected of him. 'He didn't even expect himself to do it!' Harry's mind whirled. 'So the question is, Did he enjoy it as much as I did, and if so, Where do we go from here?'
Harry shook his head. 'I think I'm getting way ahead of myself here. I don't even like guys, let alone my worst enemy. But I won't deny there had been something there today. Something unreadable, something I don't think Hermione could even translate.'
This brought more thoughts of sadness. 'Hermione...' He truly missed his loyal best friend that had been there for him for the past six years. She wouldn't help him with homework, wouldn't stick of for him in Snape's class, didn't come to last year's Final Quidditch game. She wouldn't even acknowledge him at meals anymore. All because of a tiny misunderstanding.
'Well...ok....Maybe not tiny...' Harry admitted to himself and shifted position to his side, feeling a bit sick. Hermione had willingly opened her self to him, sharing personal feelings that Harry never knew she had. Feelings that Hermione thought he would return whole-heartedly.
Unfortunately, Harry didn't think of Hermione as anything other than a close friend and had, as gently as possible, let her down. But Hermione wasn't as gentle as he had been. She had given him the worst tongue- lashing he had ever received. Everything that was wrong with him, she blatantly pointed out, every fault he had acquired, she exposed. In other words, she had turned from a kind, understanding friend, to a Royal Bitch.
Harry sighed. Then there was Ginny. That had gone even worse than with Hermione. Harry had known since fifth year Ron's little sister had an obsession with him, and when he turned Hermione down, she thought he did it because he liked her. 'Mother Night...' Harry once again shifted positions. He felt so guilty letting them both down. Letting Ron and his family down.
Seamus and Dean were now ignoring him as well, though not from anything he had done. They were to immersed in eachother and their classes to note his internal sadness. But when Harry saw them together in the common room, saw their glances of eternal longing, heard them when they forgot to place a silencing charm around their bed at night, Harry felt an eternal emptiness inside him. One he could never even hope to fill.
They were in love. They had something Harry would always lack. Love, understanding, even that territorial look they gave someone who was getting too close for their own comfort. Harry would never find someone who would be territorial and loving towards him. Never.
And it saddened him deeply.
It was one thing to be the school's newest, most shaggable boy, but that was a completely physical thing. Harry didn't want to be in a relationship for just physical pleasure, sure that part of it, but it lacked what he needed. He wanted someone who would see Harry Potter, not the Boy-Who-Lived, or some fleeting sex fling.
But in the Wizarding World, things were so different from Muggle lifestyles. Sex was completely casual here. You were pretty much expected to lose your virginity by fifteen, and if you didn't, you weren't seen as some sort of hero, saving yourself for your marriage partner, but as a freak who couldn't get any. Or just as someone too stuck up to find anyone good enough to sleep with. Like Malfoy.
'God,' Harry thought with misery. 'I must really be stuck on him. This is completely crazy. Even if he would want to be with me, he could never want me for being Harry Potter. He hates Harry Potter! Or...Does he hate The-Boy-Who-Lived? What does it matter, anyways? I'll never get my hands on him. Ever.'
Harry rubbed his eyes and looked at his clock. 2:24 in the fucking morning. 'I really need to get some better habits here, this is absolutely ridiculous!' He turned once more in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position, hoping to get all thoughts of Malfoy out of his head and find sleep. Classes did start tomorrow, after all. So did the fight for survival. Mentally and physically.
* * * * * *
Harry sat down at breakfast, not saying a word to anyone around him. 'What's the point? Half of them hate me and the other half are still asleep.' Hermione and Ginny were quietly whispering, while Ron's nose was in his eggs. Seamus and Dean were making out and Neville was rummaging through his things, looking for a quill and ink. He sighed and picked up two pieces of french toast and dropped them on his plate.
'Why do I have this odd feeling this year is going to absolutely suck?' He thought sarcastically. 'Atleast I have Quidditch and that new Student Head thing to keep me busy this year. Thank the gods for small miracles...' Absently he began eating...well, picking at his food would be the more obvious observation, but that was the thing. No one noticed anymore.
Harry looked up sharply as someone's chair clattered to the floor across the room, creating a loud disturbance across the Hall. Ron even sat up, looking over in the direction of the noise.
"I said to keep your fucking hands off me!" Draco. He was trembling, trying to compose himself, but wasn't doing such a splendid at it. He looked absolutely terrified, as if someone had put poison in his drink. Ron would think that was a great idea, and Harry would have whole- heartedly agreed until recently.
"Draco...I'm sorry...I didn't mean-" Pansy was trying to apologize, looking absolutely sticken, but it seemed to make no effect on Draco, as he was slowly backing away towards the doors that would lead him down to his new private dorms.
"You never fucking mean to, Parkinson, but it always happens! Can't you all understand?! Keep away from me! I'm not like you bastards! I'll never be like you, never!" Draco looked wild, on the edge of insanity, a look Harry had never seen on him before.
Draco looked up to meet Harry's eyes for the briefest moment, then tore out of the Hall as if a wild beast was chasing him.
Harry dropped his fork as he stared at the empty spot Draco had occupied only seconds before. He had seen such raw emotion in those sapphire eyes as Draco looked at Harry with such a sad, defeated, and betrayed glance. It made him feel sick to him stomach, and he quickly pushed his food away.
"I wonder what's gotten into him?" Ron wondered outloud, fully awake now. "It's not like Malfoy to push Pansy away. They were going out in Fourth Year weren't they?"
Hermione shrugged. "Doesn't concern me. But I do wonder how he will get to classes today. He didn't even have time to pick up his schedule."
Harry stared at his exbest friend in shock. "That's all you can think about, isn't it?" Her attention turned to him for the first time in months. "God, Hermione. I thought you were a better human being than that!" Shock turned into anger and a fierce need to protect the blonde boy who had crashed out of the Hall minutes before.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"He's fucking breaking down and all you care about is fucking classes? Your priorities have always been a little off, Hermione, but isn't that going a bit far? Don't you realize what Malfoy just told the entire Hall?" She looked at him blankly. "He just told everyone to fuck off because he doesn't want to be a fucking Death Eater!" The entire Griffindor table was looking at him oddly now.
"What does it matter to you, Potter?" Hermione glared at him. "The last time I checked, Malfoy was your worst enemy and you were wishing the worst on him."
"So we're not even using first names anymore, are we, Granger? You're such a self-serving, stuck up, bitch! All you care about is yourself and your happiness! Well wake up! Not everything is about perfect little Hermione!" Harry stood up, also knocking his chair over. This was completely uncalled for. "And for your information, Malfoy isn't my worst enemy! If you've forgotten, I have a fucking lunatic after my head, Hermione!"
"So you do like Malfoy!" She gasped. "On the train..."
Harry turned to Ron. "What did you tell her?" He demanded. "What the fuck did you open your mouth for? Especially with the way she's been treating me! She'll do anything to make my life hell and you give her exactly what she's looking for!"
Ron's ears turned red, but he didn't say anything. Ginny was now in tears and Hermione was sitting in a shocked silence. The whole Hall was now looking at him, and had been for the past minute.
"I think I'll take a line from Malfoy, here. Stay the fuck away from me! All of you!" And with that Harry stormed out of the hall, grabbing his schedule from a shocked Professor McGonagall.
* * * * * *
Draco showed in Harry's second class of the day. A class he really wasn't looking forward to. Divination said it all, didn't it? Harry thought how ironic it was that he was taking a class that he wouldn't need, as he didn't have a future to see. Of course he would predict his death as always just to please the large, bug-eyed teacher, but it brought a pang of regret this year, not just annoyance as it had in the past.
Harry didn't want to die. He really didn't. Life wasn't all that great, but it was worth being able to touch, to see...to feel. Unfortunately all he wanted to feel right now was Draco's lips, and that currently wasn't an option.
Draco looked absolutely terrible as he sat down at an empty table, mirroring exactly how Harry looked and felt. His heart went out to the blonde boy who seemed to be in so much pain right now. Harry wondered what it felt to be abandoned by everyone he cared about, just because he didn't do what they wanted him to do. 'Oh, wait. I have been abandoned for that reason,' he thought darkly. 'Bloody brilliant, Potter,' he scolded himself, then shook his head. Wallowing in self pity wasn't going to make his problems disappear, nor was it going to get him any closer to Draco.
"Would you like to take a seat, Mr. Potter? Class is about to begin." Professor Trelawny was kindly waiting on him, looking at him with huge eyes full of pity. Harry kept a reign on his temper and headed over to the table Draco was sitting at, dumping his things rather loudly.
"I don't know why I bother with this class anymore." He mumbled and pulled out his new, and rather thick book, a quill and emerald ink he had bought over the summer holidays.
"Don't you have somewhere else to sit, Potter?" Harry looked up to see Draco once again looking terrified, as if Harry's mere presence was the thing that Draco feared most. "It's not proper for a Griffindor to be sitting with a Slytherin."
"I had come to the conclusion this morning you didn't care what's proper and what other people think, Malfoy." Harry said softly, giving him an encouraging smile. "I really respect that."
Malfoy was speechless to say the least, but Harry didn't have time to contemplate that rather odd look Draco was giving him, as Professor Trelawny began class. "This year we will be focusing on a more general branch of Divination." Harry wondered when Divination wasn't general and a complete waste of time, but continued listening. "We will start off the first semester with meditation, then progress onto the more difficult task of interpreting dreams." Harry raised an eyebrow. 'You mean all I get to do in this class this year is nap and make up dreams? Well fuck, that sounds easy enough. Maybe she'll even lay off the death predictions for a while.' He sighed in relief.
"Mr. Potter?" Harry had thought too soon. "Are you feeling alright?" Professor Trelawny was now hovering over him, looking as if he was about to drop dead any second. Harry turned to Draco and rolled his eyes, placing his chin in his palm and mirroring every word the Professor spoke. "I know this class must be hard for you," she frowned, "especially when all your future holds is sadness and an unpleasant death. I am especially proud that you have returned to this class, even when seeing your disagreeable end makes you nervous and pale."
Draco barely hid a smile while watching Potter mimic every word Trelawny said. 'He's amazing,' Draco thought absently, 'completely amazing. He doesn't even fear death.' The blonde boy frowned. 'He should fear. I do. I fear his death over my own.' Draco looked away as Harry's eyes filled with concern. 'I really have fallen, haven't I? Fallen for the one person who has been my enemy for the past six years. In all of two days I've lost everything I worked years to gain. Yet, for some reason, when I look into those eyes, I don't care.' He looked back up at Harry and gave the boy a genuine smile.
"Now meditating can be extremely difficult," Trelawny began explaining. "Especially the form we will be practicing today." Harry wondered how difficult this could be. 'All you have to do is close your eyes and concentrate...' How wrong he was. "Today you will all split into pairs and attempt, and I mean attempt, I don't expect any of you to be able to do this, to connect to your partner. As this is extremely difficult we will spend a few weeks trying to establish the connection, and know that your grade is not based on if you can achieve this goal, but how hard you work toward achieving it. Now, open your books to page 348 and read the first paragraph, then I want you to pick a partner and find an area where you will both be comfortable and able to work."
Harry opened his book and began reading. 'Yada, yada...' Harry thought as he read, 'What a waste of time. Who wants to connect with me, anyways?' "Potter? Would you be my partner?" Harry looked up to see Malfoy biting his lower lip, looking anywhere but Harry's eyes. 'D..Draco wants to be my partner? He just...offered...to work with me. Me. Harry Potter.'
"Um..Sure, Malfoy..." Harry smiled as the other boy looked at him with shock. 'He didn't think I'd do it. Not after the train ride yesterday. God, he's got it backwards.' "Let's go over to that corner," Harry pointed and stood up, grabbed his book, and made his way through the crowd of moving students to an unoccupied corner, expecting Draco to follow.
Harry sat and crossed his legs, watching closely as Draco also lowered himself to the floor, still looking terrified. "Hmm..." Harry opened his book, flipping to the page he had just read. "Ok...Now when we 'connect' we're supposed to hear eachothers thoughts?"
"And feel what the other is feeling." Draco also had his book open to the page they had been reading. "What a bunch of rubbish. If hardly anyone has ever accomplished this, why are we expected to be able to it?" He sighed heavily.
Harry shrugged. "Well...Like she said, it's not actually doing it that's getting us the grade, its how hard we try." He smirked and Draco felt his heart trip and fall somewhere out of reach. 'Potter just looked....sexy. Oh gods! Draco don't do this to yourself, you can't handle this right now!' "Now...We have to be as comfortable as possible...and...." Harry reread the paragraph silently and quickly. "And we have to link hands. It says to let your mind drift for a few moments before calling out to the other person." Harry raised an eyebrow. "It's quite thorough in directions, isn't it?"
Draco snickered, but felt his heart beat speed up as Harry took his hands, and wove his bronze fingers through Draco's pale ones. 'So...soft,' Draco thought as his eyes flickered closed. Everything felt so right and perfect as Draco sat with Harry, their hands locked together in an eternal understanding. 'God...Harry...' Draco took a shaky breath, never wanting to part from the other boy. How he wished he could establish that connection, to be able to know what Harry knew, felt what he felt.
In that same moment, Harry desired the same thing Draco did. He wanted to help the other boy heal, to forget the pain he had indured in the past, to make his life heaven, even if that meant just being a close friend. Then he heard it, Draco's soft voice echoing in his mind, *God...Harry...* His name sounded so sensual coming from the other boy, and Harry realized it was the first time his first name had come from Draco's lips.
*Draco? Can you hear me?* Harry heard the other boy gasp audibly.
*Potter? Is that you?*
*Yea. Well shit. It worked. I don't fucking believe this, I've connected with my number one school rival for the past six years. I'll be damned.* Harry regretted the words even as he thought them, because like Draco had said earlier, they could feel the other's emotions, and Draco was screaming pain and agony at the moment.
*I'm sorry, Potter. For all those things I've done to you. Look at me...* Harry opened his eyes to see a tear slip down Draco's cheek. He wanted to kiss that tear away, and all the others Draco had ever cried. *You...You what?* Draco's eyes widened and Harry realized Draco had heard what he had been thinking, and what he felt.
Harry blushed and looked away, but Draco had unlocked his fingers with Harry's and turned his head, so he would have to look at Draco. *I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable...*
*Did I feel uncomfortable?* Draco frowned. *I feel uncomfortable about the way I've treated you and your friends the past six years, but not about...you know...what you just said...or thought...or whatever...* The blonde boy seemed flustered and began chewing on his bottom lip again.
*I've never noticed you did that before...* Harry lightly brushed his fingers over Draco's lips, sighing in pleasure. *I never noticed...Maybe their's alot I haven't noticed about you...And besides...* Harry looked around and removed his fingers as the Professor made her rounds among the students. *Their really not my friends right now, anyways...*
Draco felt Harry's sadness and reached out, wanting to comfort the boy. *What happened? You three used to do everything together...Detention, trips to Professor Dumbledore's office, everything.*
*Hermione hates me because...* Harry stopped, thinking hard. *Can I show you?* Draco blinked, then nodded, not really understanding until Harry's memories flashed through his mind.
*That bitch!* Draco seethed. *How dare she treat you like that! Just because you don't like her as more than a friend!* Harry felt truly moved that Draco felt this way about that particular memory. Draco smiled, then asked tentivly. *What happened with Weasley?*
*He...He told Hermione about the train yesterday...With you and me...and...they think I like boys...* Harry seemed confused about the entire event. *I don't even know what happened yesterday, Draco. I can't decide what I think about you because I don't know if you really meant what you did...or...didn't do...*
Draco felt moved. Harry was opening up to him on an issue he apparently didn't feel comfortable talking with his friends about. *Potter- *
*Can you not call me that anymore? I think we've moved past that point in our lives, don't you? When you say my last name like that it reminds me of how much we hated eachother in the past.*
*You don't hate me now?* Draco questioned, not quite sure if he wanted the answer.
*No, Draco. I don't hate you now. Like I said...I don't know exactly what to feel...but I know it isn't hate. It can't be hate.* Harry smiled reassuringly at the other boy who looked so fragile at the moment.
*Harry...I don't exactly know what happened on the train either...* He felt a pang of grief come from Harry, but continued. *All I know is that...that...I rather liked it...and...* Draco trailed off, feeling betrayed by himself for letting Harry know his true feelings.
*Draco...Look at me...* When Draco looked up, Harry was smiling and his cheeks were somewhat tinged with red. *I...I suppose I feel the same way too...* Harry opened his feelings and watched Draco's expression flicker from relief to happiness. *But I don't know where to go from here...I don't know if, or bloody well how, a relationship is supposed to work...And that's if you even want something like that...*
Draco sighed in relief. Harry was having the same doubts as he did. *I want it Harry. I do. I just don't know how to handle something like this...I want to be able to trust you...I want you to trust me!* Draco's dream from the night before flashed through his mind, and he watched as Harry paled.
*Are you?* Harry looked down at his arm.
*No!* Draco practically ripped his shirt as he showed Harry his pale, smooth skin where the Dark Mark was supposed to go. *I'll never become like my father, Harry. I may not be fond of mudbloods and half breeds, but I don't want to kill them. I don't want to make muggles suffer for being who they are. They weren't given a choice, so why should they be punished?* And Harry knew Draco was telling the truth, because somehow Harry would know if the other boy was lying to him.
*Draco. you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You follow your heart when everyone around you is telling you to ignore it.* Draco blushed and Harry smiled. *So...Do you think this connection thing wears off when we stop touching? And if it does, can we connect again?*
*I...I don't know...I suppose we should try it...* Draco didn't want to let go, but Harry sent him a burst of courage, silently telling him that it'd be alright. Draco nodded and let go.
*Can you still hear me?* Draco gasped and nodded, hearing Harry's voice vibrate softly in his mind. *Bloody hell! The book says nothing about this! It's amazing!*
*Should we tell Professor Trelawny about this?* Draco asked nerviously, but was pleased all the same.
Harry looked over at their teacher darkly. *Do you want to? This seems somehow...special because only we know about it...but if you want to tell her, she might be able to get rid of the link...*
*I...I don't want to get rid of it!* Draco panicked. He quickly reached out and grabbed Harry's hands again, linking their fingers. *You don't want to get rid of it, do you?*
Harry smiled. *No. I don't ever want to get rid of it. Look at it this way, I'm in the great mind of Draco Malfoy, and I have access to every naughty little thought you have ever come up with.* Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow.
Draco blushed, but returned the sly smirk. *I bet you're not as innosent as you pretend to be, Harry. I bet I could find some pretty kinky stuff in that bloated head of yours.*
*Hey!* Harry mocked shock. *I do not have a bloated head! I'm not the one who stands infront of the mirror doing his hair everyday!*
Draco grinned. *You've noticed then?* Harry frowned and Draco laughed out loud, causing near by students to look at them oddly. *Class is almost over. Don't we have lunch next? All this telepathic touchy feely is making me rather hungry.*
*Argh! Is that all you can think about, Draco? We were just having a moment here...* Harry smiled and laughed as his own stumach grumbled.
*You're such a hypocrit, Potter.* Draco smirked, then added. *Though a sexy hypocrit at that.*
*Did you just call me sexy?* Harry looked shocked. *There is absolutely nothing sexy about me!*
*So not only do you have problems hearing, but seeing too? It's not exactly secret knowledge that you're Hogwarts newest and most shaggable. Next to me, that is.* Draco smirked confidently.
Harry looked baffled. *Do you want to shag me?*
Draco reached out and touched Harry's scar again. *There'll be plenty of time for shagging, Harry, I think I need to get used to admitting that I like you in a more than platonic way. But yes, I do want to shag you, I just think we should take things slow...*
*Right....So....You want to meet tonight? I could show you my room...* Harry smirked slyly.
*Sounds great. How about eight?* Draco grinned.
*You just completely contridicted what you just said!*
*How could anyone resist that smirk? And anyways! I'm supposed to be the good one at smirking!* Draco fake pouted, but lit up again. *Plus I want to get to know you better...If that's ok...that is...*
*And it wouldn't be ok because...?*
*Because you're too busy trying to seduce me!* Draco sighed impatiently.
*And that's bad because...?*
Draco didn't reply.
