Into Little Shop of Horrors
Observing their new surroundings the boys noticed that it was dim and dusty. It looked like they had landed in the middle of Skid Row, which they had. Neither boy would figure out where they were this time because neither had seen the movie musical Little Shop of Horrors. This however, would be the place where they would make an important discovery.
"All right." Ron said, "where are we now?"
"No clue." Harry replied. "Let's have a look see."
They wandered around for awhile in the shadow of the dingy brick buildings that made up Skid Row. There was singing in the background, three women in harmony. "Ain't he having some fun now." They sang in matching fringed, red dresses on the roof. "Some fun now."
They found a florist shop, crowded with people, phones ringing constantly and the most amazing and interesting plant either of them had ever seen in the window. It was like a giant Venus fly-trap and as Harry and Ron had had some experience with odd plants in Herbology they wanted to take a closer look.
They entered and looked around, careful not to tread too closely to the plant. There was a large man with graying hair running about trying to answer the phones and a nerdy looking guy flitting to and fro trying to fill orders. Coming out of the back room was a tall and skinny blond in a very retro green dress with a giant flower arrangement in her hand.
The group of people started singing again about how great the flowers were and bizarre the giant plant was. Ron gave Harry a frightened look. "I think we landed in some sort of musical."
"Oh my." Harry replied.
A placard hung before the plant and it said: Mushnik's presents Audrey II.
The shop was really too crowded and the singing was starting to become contagious. Before Ron and Harry burst into song themselves they stepped outside, finding a stoop a few doors down to rest. "This is so insane." Harry said. "How did we get here?"
"Someone must have cast a spell on us…" Ron said trailing away.
"Malfoy." Harry said. "I thought I saw his blond helmet head following us out of the castle. He must have cursed us into the TV."
"But not the TV because weren't we in that web-thingy?"
"Hmm. I dunno. But it was definitely him."
"We might as well start looking for the red door because that seems to be the way to get out. Maybe one door will drop us back into Hogwarts."
"Hope so." Harry said with a heavy sigh. They stood and started looking around, but none of the houses had red doors. It was getting late, night was quickly coming and the streetlights were popping on. They had to find it soon or they were going to be sleeping out in the streets, next to the guy already snoozing under the newspaper.
A noise like a scream from the florist shop aroused their attention. "What was that?" Ron asked, not wanting an answer.
Harry removed his wand from his pants instinctively. If someone was in danger or needed help the best thing to do was grab a wand and get ready to help them.
"Harry, your wand? You still have it." Ron reached into his pants to find his wand. "I still have mine. Let's jinx ourselves back!"
"We should try and help those people first." Harry said quickly as another scream rent the air.
"Fine." Ron said, slumping over. They crept up to the window in the florist shop to see the most bizarre scene play itself out (not quite the same caliber bizarre as the Jerry Spinger Show). The giant plant was attacking the nerdy guy and the tall, skinny blond.
"Audrey!" Yelled the nerd.
"Seymour!" Yelled the blond.
Harry rushed in as the plant's tentacles were lashing out at Seymour and Audrey. He pointed his wand at the plant. "Reducio." He shouted. It had no effect. "Impedimenta!" He yelled. Still nothing. "Incendio!" He tried.
No matter what spell he shouted his wand did nothing. He looked to Ron, fear riding high on his face. "It's not working."
Ron tried his wand. "Diffindo." He tried with no results. "Expelliarmus!" Nothing. "Shit!" He yelled.
"They don't work here. Our wands have no effect here."
The plant laughed. "Look's like dessert to me baby." It wrapped one of its tendrils around Ron's legs and the boy screamed. The plant was lifting Ron slowly into the air, ignoring Seymour and Harry, having Audrey wrapped in the corner in a rope of greenery.
A chorus of singing broke out. "We must kill the plant." Harry and Seymour sang together.
"Kill the plant before it kills us." Audrey sang.
"We must kill the plant." The boys sang again.
Ron, hanging upside down wanted to cry, instead he sang out. "Kill the plant before it kills me!"
The plant opened its great purple tinged mouth and dropped Ron inside. Harry yelled but it seemed useless, Ron was gone turned into plant food and now he had to kill the plant before it killed him. Audrey managed to get loose from her green coils as the plant was distracted with digesting.
Audrey II was far from finished however. The plant started to stab its tendrils into the walls and floor, breaking the very foundation of the room apart. It was trying to hit the three combatants in order to render them unconscious so that they too could be part of its dinner. It was failing miserably though and hitting everything else.
The plant fell through the cracking floor, dragging Seymour and Harry into the hole with it by snagging them on two of its roots. They hit the cement floor with a thud. The young man and the nerd scrambled to their feet and tried to find something, anything to stop the homicidal plant.
Harry stumbled on an exposed electrical wire and noticed that the raw end was close to Seymour's hand. "Seymour!" He shouted. "The wire!"
Seymour saw where Harry was pointing and grabbed the wire. He jerked it up in victory and slammed it into the plant's open mouth. He stepped back quickly and watched as the plant began to shake and quake, filled with 1000 volts of electricity, more than enough to kill a grown horse let alone an alien plant. It fell forward, black around the edges and silent.
Harry sighed relief and Audrey called down from the hole in the ceiling. "Are you ok?" She asked.
Harry was looking for the stairs when he heard a thumping coming from the plant. "Didn't we kill it?" He asked Seymour.
"Yes." Seymour said. "But, I think…" He trailed away and started to pry open the mouth of the beast. "It's your friend."
Ron's head peeked up through the back of the plant's throat. He started to emerge, covered in a purple goo. "That is the foulest shit I have ever experienced." Harry ran over and hugged his best friend, regardless of the purple slime. Ron starting laughing. "I thought I'd bought the farm that time." He started to look around, noticing that they had fallen through to the basement. Something red caught his attention over Harry's shoulder.
"Look," he said. "The red door."
Harry smiled. "Perhaps you'd like to wash off before we hop on out of here?"
Ron laughed. "If that's ok with Seymour."
"Fine by me." Seymour said.
The boys washed up in the sink upstairs, Ron rinsing off what he could of the purple goo and Audrey tending gently to the boys' scrapes and cuts. "Thanks for saving our lives." She said.
"It was all Seymour." Harry said. Audrey offered to cook them supper, but neither boy felt inclined to eat after such a strange adventure. "That's ok," Harry said. "I think we'll get going." They ventured back down the almost ruined stairs and opened the door with one last look at the evil, dead, giant plant.
"Can't wait to tell Madame Sprout about this adventure." Ron laughed.
