Poor Professor Grubbly Plank

Professor Grubbly Plank looked around at all of the students gathered on the lawn. Hagrid was "out" again and unable to teach class. She didn't mind substitute teaching, but she honestly felt that she was the better teacher. Why Dumbledore would hire an inept half-giant to teach students Care of Magical Creatures over someone with a resume eight pages long detailing an extensive history of work with magical creatures she couldn't fathom.

"Today we'll be discussing magical insects." She began, passing out four jars, each holding a different type of insect. "I would like you all to draw a picture of the insect as it comes to you. The first jar contains a Billywig, the insect with the vivid blue coloring. It never grows to larger than half an inch and its sting will cause giddiness and levitation."

The students passed the jars about slowly, taking the time to sketch them into their notebooks. "The next jar contains a Lacewing Fly. These are very important in potion making."

The students grumbled a little. Taking notes and drawing insects were not so fun as hands-on experience in the classroom and Professor Grubbly Plank usually provided them with safe creatures to pet or feed.

"The next jar," she continued, "is the Glumbumble. It is known for it's furry coat. It secretes a fluid that if come into contact with will cause melancholy. The fluid can be used orally to cure hysteria in certain patients and is used commonly at Saint…"

A crashing sound, like breaking glass interrupted her mid-speech. "What was that?" She asked, perturbed that Neville Longbottom raised his hand tentatively. "The Billywig." He giggled. He began to float just a little off the ground, still sitting with crossed legs.

The girl next to him shouted: "ouch!" Then she too began to giggle and float.

"Oh dear me." Professor Grubbly Plank fussed. She scurried about, looking for another jar and finding none decided to let out the lacewing fly and use its jar to capture the Billywig. She was so flustered however that she didn't realize she'd let out the Glumbumble instead.

The Glumbumble flitted about, biting students at random. Everyone bitten was either giggling hysterically or slumping on the ground, torn between crying and curling up into a little ball. "Can this get any worse?" Grubbly Plank called out.

One of the students laughed particularly loudly and said: "yes, I think it can." It was Hermione Granger and the Billywig had bitten her. She had tried to capture it in another jar, the jar holding the final demonstration insect, the Chizpurfle. Hermione had made a grievous error; the Chizpurfle caught a whiff of freedom and flew out to frolic with his winged fellows.

Now all but the Lacewing Fly, the most harmless of all the insects were floating loose and wreaking havoc on the grounds. It took several stunning spells to hit all of the insects and place them back into the unbroken jars.

Only one student was hit with a stunning spell and it was just as well as he, Draco Malfoy was giggly hysterically. Professor Grubbly Plank shook her head at Neville Longbottom as the students were carted off to the hospital wing. This was possibly the worst Care of Magical Creatures Class she had ever taught.

The End