Torture is FUN!: Camping with MKR
By Dragon Princess
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Hello again (if you thought you were rid of me, tough luck!!!) Thank you to the people who reviewed. I still don't own anything except the MKR manga series (copies of the books, NOT the legal rights to the books), a copy of dot-Hack Part 1, and the will to write. Now onto Chapter 2!!!
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Day 1//ROAD TRIP
"Hey, look!" Hikaru said from the front seat of the car. "World's Largest Rock! Can we stop?" So far on their road trip, they had stopped at 17 different nature views and highway attractions, the latter which included Bug Zoo and Eddie the Human Hamster. Every time Hikaru saw some new highway stop, she had her parents pull over and they all went to see it. And bought souvenirs. So far, Umi had a T-Shirt that said "Tammy's Freak Show", a visor saying "Come to the Bug Zoo", and several cheap bead necklaces. Fuu had gotten a T-Shirt with "Giant Plushie" on it and a hideous paperweight shaped like Eddie the Human Hamster. Neither Umi nor Fuu had actually wanted any of these things. Hikaru had bought them all of the useless crap.
"Rock?" said Fuu. "That sounds quite dull. Do we really need to see it?"
"Fuu," Hikaru said, "We've been to every highway stop so far! Please, I wanna see the rock!" Umi sat in the back, pretending to be asleep. She did not want to see the rock. She wanted out.
Her plan so far was to wait until everyone left, then run away from the car and hitchhike back to Tokyo. It was a very half-baked plan, but Umi did not care. At this point, Umi had forgotten all that she and her friends had been through together, all the corny friendship lectures, all the murders… all Umi wanted to do was to escape the rock, the road trip, and the week of not showering.
"Well, I guess Umi's asleep!" said Hikaru.
"Ya think?" muttered Fuu under her breath.
"Let's drag her in with us!" suggested Hikaru. Seeing the huge sweatdrops on everyone else's (including the "sleeping" Umi) heads, she quickly added, "or we could leave her here!" The group decided on the latter option.
When everyone else had left, Umi cackled evilly. She opened up the car door and prepared to run for freedom… until she saw an ugly, 50-year-old truck driver staring at her. His nametag read "Joe Bob". Umi got back in the car and got back out. Joe Bob was still staring at her.
"Aaaaah!" yelled Umi to herself. "Why's he looking at me! I'm way too young for him! Help! O-okay, Umi, stay calm. Road Safety Rule Number 1: Barrier! Create a barrier between him and me! That's easy!" She got back in the car and shut the door. "Wait, Road Safety Rule Number 2: Escape Route! Always have an escape route handy!" She opened the door again.
"Ack! Barrier!" She closed the door. "No! My Escape Route!" She opened the door. "Barrier!" Close. "Escape Route!" Open. The truck driver had already gone in to see the rock, and Umi didn't even notice.
Inside the highway stop, Fuu and Hikaru stood in line, waiting to see the rock. The line was very long, almost like Disney World. However, neon signs pointed to the gift shop.
Hikaru's parents were busy talking to random people, including (you guessed it) Joe Bob the truck driver.
"I have this weird condition where sometimes I just stare out into space," said Joe Bob. "Sometimes people think I'm staring at them, and they have the weirdest reactions! Why, this one girl…" Meanwhile, everyone at the parking lot had forgotten about the rock, and were now staring at the blue-haired girl who was now opening and closing a car door like her life depended on it.
Hikaru, her parents, her dog, and Fuu soon came back outside to find Umi inches away from a nervous breakdown.
"The rock didn't rock at all!" said Hikaru. Nobody laughed at the stupid pun.
"The owner's wife finally made him get rid of it," said Fuu. "But I guess he could still sell us some souvenirs (Hikaru held up the new bag of junk). Umi, you didn't miss much." Umi said nothing, and Fuu could have sworn she saw Umi shaking with fear.
An hour later, Umi was almost back to normal, well, as normal as Umi ever was, anyway. Everyone in the car was bored out of their wits, except, of course, the ever happy Hikaru.
"I miss my friends from Cephiro," she said, "But I know they're having fun!" In Cephiro, Lantis and Eagle were fighting tooth and claw over a sock that Hikaru had worn once, to add it to one of their Hikaru shrines. "Let's play a CAR GAME!!!" Hikaru yelled, blissfully unaware that there were people fighting over her sock.
"Oh, fine," said Hikaru's mom. "I spy, with my little eye, something blue."
"I know!" said Hikaru's dad. "Umi's 'Tammy's Freak Show' shirt!"
"Right. Umi, Fuu, why don't you two play?" Hikaru's mom asked.
"I'm reading," replied Fuu, and she pulled out The Dictionary of Complicated Words, Volume 342, and she started to read.
"I'm reading over her shoulder," said Umi. She wasn't really reading over Fuu's shoulder. She just needed an excuse to get out of "I Spy".
"Ooh, my turn!" said Hikaru's dad. "Eye, I mean I, oh, what the hell, it's something black."
"Darkness?" guessed Hikaru's mom.
"No!" said Hikaru's dad. "Now that there are no more roadside attractions, do you think I'd come up with something that could be guessed on the first try? HA!"
"I don't see the connection between this game and road stops," said Umi, "but is the black thing the heart of whoever's making me go on this trip?"
"No!" said Hikaru's dad. "Especially because I'M who's making you go on this trip!"
"I know!" said Hikaru. "Is it Hikari's nose?"
"Nooooooooooooo!" Hikaru's dad yelled in defeat. "Dammit, I've been defeated, I mean, your turn, sweetie." Hikaru's dad got way too excitable whenever Hikaru's brothers were at kendo camp and he was the only man of the house.
"I spy," began Hikaru, "with my huge anime-style eye," (she looked around in the car to find something) "something green!"
"I know!" piped up Umi. "It's Fuu!"
And it was. Fuu was turning a lovely shade of carsick green.
"I… just remembered," Fuu gasped, "I… always have… gotten sick… when… I read… in the car… someone, please, roll down a window…"
As Fuu got sick, Umi whined, and Hikaru bubbled over with happiness, the three of them got closer to the camping trip. Finally, they got to the hotel where they would stay the night. Their trip begins the next day, but, as I'm a nice author, they get one more night in civilization. Who knows, it might be their last…
