Torture is FUN!: Camping with MKR
By Dragon Princess
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Something amusing happened last time I read my reviews. One reviewer said that I was going on her favorite author list! That's pretty impressive, eh? (I don't keep a favorite authors list because I'm too lazy…) The problem was that I was doing my nails at the time, and got a small blue streak in my hair from the nail polish when I did. L But you know what? Even if I killed my hair with nail polish, I still like reviews anyway! KEEP REVIEWING PLEASE!!! Oh, and the song that Umi sings is called "Simple and Clean" and it's by Utada Hikaru (I have no idea if I spelled that right). The English version was in the game Kingdom Hearts (which is a very fun game!). It's an awesome song, go check it out!
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Day 2//RAFTING
Fuu stared sadly at the hotel room, wishing she could stay there instead of going camping. However, right then she wasn't going anywhere. Along with Hikaru's parents, who were in the next room over, she was waiting for Hikaru and Umi.
She knew where they were, however. Hikaru had slept in the car. The hotel didn't allow pets, so Hikari had to stay in the car. Hikaru chose to stay with her dog. "Plus," she had said, "I need to get really good at not showering, so I should practice!" Hikaru didn't realize that people who are "really good at not showering" don't have any friends.
"Don't get me wrong, I looooooove you!" sang a voice, specifically a squeaky voice, a high-pitched voice, possibly the worst singing voice in the world. It was no mystery where Umi was, either. She had spent the last hour in the shower, claiming that she needed to say goodbye to being clean. And she was singing, too. Loudly.
"Umi, hurry up!" yelled Fuu, holding her ears.
"Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feeeeeeeel, tonight, and it's haaaaaard, to let it go!" Umi warbled. "Oh, shower, it's so hard to let YOU go!" Sobbing noises were heard. It was very embarrassing when Umi sang so loudly and badly that she could be heard from the parking lot. What a shame, thought Fuu. That song is so pretty when not sung by HER.
Right on schedule, the group arrived at the camping place. Or, they would have, if Umi hadn't convinced Fuu to hide with her in the bathroom towel closet.
"I know you're in there!" yelled Hikaru, wielding a toilet plunger and apparently screaming at the 'porcelain throne'. "It's just like you, Umi, hiding in the plumbing! OUT OF THE TOILET!"
"What's wrong with her?" said Umi from the top shelf in the towel closet.
"She must think we're in the toilet," said Fuu. "Now I know how a washcloth feels!"
"Hah!" said Hikaru. "I know you're throwing your voice, Fuu! You're not in the closet! You're in the plumbing!" She tried to plunge her two friends out of the toilet, although they simply weren't in there.
"QUIET, FUU!" yelled Umi. "YOU ALMOST GAVE US AWAY!"
By now, Hikaru was in a rare bad mood. "So you want to resist me?! Let's see how defiant you are when I send down some 'Toilet Duck™'! Now where's that Toilet Duck™?" She thought for a while. "Oh Yeah! The closet!" She opened up the closet. "Hmmm. Umi, Fuu, hand towels, and bath towels. No Toilet Duck™. Where could it be?" She pondered for a second. "HEY! Wait a sec! Umi, Fuu, get your sorry butts over here! We're going camping!"
Due to some unexplained miracle, or, more likely, my wanting to move the plot along, all three Magic Knights, plus two parents and one dog, got to the camping place. Alive. In one piece. Without injury. It was a beautiful day, a clear day. Fish jumped up in the big beautiful blue river. Smiling tourists in big orange rafts floated lazily by. The laughter of children filed the air. It was a perfect place for Hikaru, but for Fuu and Umi, it was just plain creepy.
"You three!" yelled a random camping guide. "Go over to the warehouse for training!" Hikaru led the way, Umi followed, and Fuu hurried along behind, wondering what a warehouse was doing in a camping place. Another guide was there at the warehouse. She had a clipboard in hand.
"Hon, are you and your friends able to work inhumane hours?" she asked. Not knowing what 'inhumane' means, Hikaru nodded "yes".
"Uh, Hikaru…" Umi said, but she was cut off by the guide.
"Can you lift heavy stuff?" the guide asked.
"Uh-huh!" replied Hikaru.
"Miss Hikaru, are you sure about this?" Fuu asked.
The guide cackled evilly. "Why then," she said, " you three will be put on a very special trip."
"Huh?" asked Umi. "Aren't we going camping in the dirt and grime with Hikaru's family?"
"No, no," the freaky lady replied. "You'll see them at the end of your trip."
"Hey!" replied Hikaru. "I wanna be with Hikari and Mommy and Daddy! Whoa, losing the happy!" Hikaru forced a smile, something she rarely needs to do. "Well, I guess I can have fun camping with my friends."
"We're going rafting first," said the guide. "Call me Guide, because that's what I am."
"I'm…" Hikaru began.
"Do I look like I care?" asked Guide. "Go build the raft!" All three girls had identical expressions of shock on their faces. "You thought this trip would be fun?" asked Guide. The shocked girls all nodded. "Time for a reality check!" Guide yelled, and pulled a lever that, for the sake of the plot, was within her reach. Instantly, the backdrop of the happy river lifted, and the happy green grass dried up. The laughter of children, which was a recording all along, stopped. The new place was downright scary, once all of the happiness was gone. Screams of pain were heard. Rafts floated by, but they were leaking and made of rotting logs. The tourists on them were trying to jump out of the rafts to end their own lives, but the guides held them onto the sinking rafts. The river even looked dark and evil, threatening to swallow up everything it touched.
"I… I think this time it's real," said Fuu.
"Wow!" said Hikaru. "Doesn't this trip look fun?" Hikaru was more happy than any of the others. Actually, she was more happy than the others put together.
"No," whined Umi. "Why am I doing this?" She didn't get an answer.
Somehow, I still don't know how, the three girls were able to build their raft. Umi told Fuu and Hikaru what to do. Hikaru got supplies, and although half of the things she brought back were totally useless, the other half could be worked with. Fuu, the future engineer, put the supplies together into something that sort of looked like a raft and sort of didn't. Hikaru brought moss as a supply. Umi whined about Hikaru bringing moss. Fuu thanked Hikaru warmly, but threw the moss away when her redheaded friend wasn't looking. And so it went, until…
"Yay! It's finally done!" said Hikaru, doing the Happy Dance.
"What should we name it?" asked Umi.
"How about…" Fu began.
"We should name it Raft," said Guide. "Because that's what it is."
"Well, that's not fair, Miss Guide!" said Fuu.
"Don't call me Miss Guide!" said Guide. "I won't misguide you, we'll have fun! I'm taking the raft! You can swim behind! It's fun to work and have someone else take away the rewards!" She mumbled something about everyone calling her "MisGuided" back in Junior High ("I'm NOT misguided, dammit!"), and then she took the raft, leaving the Magic Knights to swim after her.
"This is FUN!" said Hikaru as another guide pushed her in from behind.
Something was wrong with this camping trip.
