A/N:

First, a disclaimer: Kim and Edward do not belong to me.

Secondly, thank you to my (all too few) reviewers.

Leap of Fate: Sorry. The song was 'In my place', by Coldplay. The lyrics may actually be slightly different but it's mainly right. Dreary Music Forever!

Thirdly: If you have any concerns about Edward's character, (if he's too weird.. whatever) or anything else that I've mentioned you only have to tell me and, unless they are intentional, can easily be changed.

Fourthly: This isn't a Mary-sue. If you think it has any vague leaning towards Mary-sue-dom (Or not so Vague, god help me) contact me.

From the wheel of my parents' four-wheel drive I looked up at the house. On the seat next to me there was a huge pile of magazines. There were magazines from my Dad, fishing and National Geographic mainly, but occasionally a few current affairs, then there was my sister who was going through a particularly girly phase in her adolescence, and my Mom who read cheap tabloids with sensational (yet untruthful) stories in them.

It was two weeks since I had gone up to the house, and for some reason my conscience would not let go. Every time I heard any song by Coldplay I was reminded of the snow. Every time I needed to use scissors, I remembered. Even when I was with Dan I had a persisting feeling that I still had something to do, some score left to settle.

Now, had to be the worst time to develop a conscience. My grades had been slipping and I had huge amounts of work to do, or else there was no way I would graduate with the right grades.

I can never honestly say that I buried myself in my work to avoid life's troubles. It doesn't work like that with me. I work when I have to, and I did have to. Swamped with this much and Edward went a long way out of my mind, somewhere beyond advanced Math.

Now I was wishing I had taken Dan's offer of a day-trip to the Capital city.

He had left this morning, with his friends, and my best friend, Mel, who was currently dating one of them. I was surprised they all fitted in his car to be honest. I suppose some seat sharing was going on.

I looked around the street, checking to see if anyone was around, and pulled up the driveway. I parked the car, putting on the handbrake. I sighed.

The courtyard looked totally different near the snow had melted. It was still eerie, and I had forgotten the bizarre shapes, but now they were creatures, not objects. I didn't know whether this was an improvement, but it was… something.

Carrying a pile of magazines I made my way to the door, but by the time I had reached the third step it was open.

"You came back?" It was a dampened statement rather then a question, and I didn't answer it. His face was smiling awkwardly in disbelief and it was a strange sight. I hadn't seen him smile properly before. He looked totally different.

"I brought you some magazines."

"Thank you." He said in his low, quiet voice, looking what I took to be shy and snipping his blades nervously.

I reached the final step.

"Where do you want me to put them?" I looked up at him, then looked down again so I could keep my eyes on the blades.

"I'll take them." He held out his forearms while I moved to side to avoid the scissors, and I put them on him. He looked at me.

"Er… I have some more… I'll just go get them." I started blushing. Why was I blushing?

Once I had got the magazines, hesitated, then returned to the house I followed him up to the room where he stayed, the one that was half-collapsed. I put down the magazines on the floor and moved over to the slanting hole in the roof.

From here I could see a long way. It faced away from the horrid suburbia and towards the ocean. Green trees flecked grassland and houses. In the distance was the sea, blue and barely visible. It had to be at least 70 kilometres away.

Even though it wasn't snowing it was still cold. Edward probably didn't even feel it anymore.

"Why did you come back?"

I had a sinking feeling. I couldn't tell him that I needed to explain about his long lost love, now permanantly lost. But I couldn't really explain that I hated seeing anyone this separated from the world. Hell, I couldn't even explain it to myself.

"I don't know." I said lamely. "I thought you were lonely…" My voice trailed off, and I mentally grimaced.

"You're very kind." He stated

I felt bad. After I had come here last time, I cried. Now, I felt equally bad, but not in the same way. It was the unfairness, the resignation that he had, and that he was still waiting. I tried to pull myself together. I'm not this pathetic, normally, but then this wasn't really normal.

I felt sick. He saw the look on my face, and turned even paler.

"What's wrong?" He asked, panicking, his face like a mime's.

I hated myself, but I managed to smile. "I'm okay. Just tired, I guess."

He gave a small worried smile, and shuffled towards the corner where the magazines were.

I unfolded a small piece of paper from my pocket. It was creased from where I'd folded it and from the numerous times that even in two weeks I had looked at it. I knew the red words almost off by heart, but it was comforting to read it.

Laura,

I know you have done as I asked. You're a good girl.

I suppose you believe me now?

In a perfect world, none of this would have happened. We could both have been happy. It's too late for me now, and too late for him. There is no way to rewind these things, and even if we could I could never go up there. Only in a perfect world.

I thought that the world had the problem, but it doesn't; we do. People are unfair, people are cruel, people are imperfect.

I can't escape from that, and he can't hide. There is no place for us.

I was young once. That's all behind me. You have it all in front of you.

Don't do anything you'll regret.

I love you forever.

Your Grandmother, Kim

It's not the best written of letters but it made me think. Sometimes things aren't perfect. Stories don't just end, and nothing really goes the way it's supposed to. I realised that.

I miss her so much, but I wonder if I even knew her. I can't imagine staying here, like Edward, until my memory slowly fades, and all I have left is what I'm holding on to.

I glanced up from the page, and saw Edward looking at me. He didn't ask what I was reading.

Putting it back in my pocket, and sat on the floor opposite Edward, who was looking at one of Adele's magazines. I was disgusted to notice that part of me was annoyed because the dust would get my jeans dirty.

He was on his knees, the magazine on the floor, and flipped a page carefully with the blunt side of one of his scissors. He looked like a child really. The expression on his pale, dark face was innocent, haunting almost. Yet this same person had killed someone in the anger, passion and burning love of one moment, over fourty years ago.

Did he even know so many years had passed? Did he even understand?

He carefully cut out a picture of a model wearing winter fashions. For not the first time the silence was awkward.

I pulled out my purse and removed a picture.

"This is my family."

He leant forward and studied the picture in the weak light.

"That's my Mom, Adele, My Father, and me."

His expression was unreadable. His eyes were so dark they seemed the same shade throughout, and stained beneath them, like tears, was a tired purple.

I felt a surge of anger at the inventor, playing god. This wasn't a creation anymore; this was a person. Unable to touch, unable to be loved anymore, shunned by everyone, unable to die. I never realised before that dying might be a good thing.

"Will you stay with me for a while?" He asked.

I nodded. The unpleasant atmosphere was gone; I understood.

It was cold, but I stayed there for hours, until it was dark. The silence was enough.