Days at Sunnyville
Ave, Hyrule
Hello,everyone these are the storys of everyday life in a a house at Sunnyville Ave,Hyrule.In that house lives Link,Ganon,Sheik,Zelda,Nabooru,Malon,Ruto,Saria.It sounds like alot but there are alot of bedrooms.Anyways this is mostly randomness so tell me how you like it when your done reading this chapter!^_^
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(It's 10:00 AM and the women have called all the men to the kitchen to talk.)
Zelda:Hey wheres Sheik?
Link:He's in the living room watching the Sesame Street marition.
Sheik:(from living room)(screaming in panic):NO BIG BIRD!!!!DON'T TAKE THE GREEN PATH!!!THE LULU SPIDERS ARE THERE!!!NO!!!NO!!!DON'T DO IT!!!!
Zelda:.........................Sometimes I think that man's been to too many of those as he calls them "picnics".
Link:They are!I swear!
Malon:Attention!Attention!Us girls are going on vacation!So Link,you Sheik,and Ganon are in charge of taking care of the house.
(Link face turns from normal to panic.)
Zelda:Maybe we shouldn't go,remember what happend the last forth of July when we left them alone at the picnic table for five minutes.
Ruto:Yeah,but that's only because the Elephant man shot his sprinkle dust gun too soon.
Zelda:But still a ruined park is a ruined park.
Nabooru:My pants still don't have their bounce back.(looks down sadly to pants.)
Ganon:Don't worry about it,we'll be fine!
Zelda:Well,you can cook,right?
Link:(guilty silence)
Ganon:....................um.................well...............of course!!!
Link:WHAT!!!
Ganon:When I was Link's age I was the cooking champ of the land!
Nabooru:I don't remember that............
Ganon:Oh........Really.........well........
(Saria comes in and puts Ganon off the spot.)
Malon:Where have you been?
Saria:I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend.
Malon:Who's that?
Saria:I'll never tell.
Ruto:Let's get going,if we don't hurry up we won't get the free peanuts on the airplane!
(Nabooru and Ganon start making out.)
Everyone:Bad images!
Ruto:Okay let's go!
(The girls have too pull Nabooru off of Ganon and drag her in the van.)
Nabooru:(from van)(to Ganon)Be good cuddle bunny!!!
(The girls drive off very fast almost collidieding with a stop sign.)
Ganon:(sadly)Be good sugar muffin.
Link:Be good stomach.(starts pucking into sink)
Ganon:We better tell Sheik the news.
(They go into Living Room,where Sheik is watching Sesame Street intensely.)
Ganon:Hey Sheik.
Sheik:(doesn't react just keeps watching not even blinking.)
(Ganon turns off the TV)
Sheik:(screaming in horror)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT 2 + 2 IS!!!!
Ganon:It's 4 dude................................
Sheik:How do know.(screaming again)ELMO DIDN'T SAY IT,I'LL NEVER KNOW!!!
Ganon:okay........................................................
(The door bell rings)
(It's Mido)
Ganon:What do you want,shrimp?
Mido:Did Saria leave yet?
Ganon:Yes.Why?
Mido:Never mind(runs away but gets trapped in a bush in the yard)
Ganon:...............................................................
Mido:HELP ME!!!!HELP ME!!!!
Ganon:(goes inside.)
Link:Who was it?
Ganon:Nobody important.
Mido:(from outside)HELP!!!!!!THE RACOONS HAVE COME.AHHHHH THEY'RE TRYING TO EAT ME!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!(you hear sredding sounds from the bushes)
(Sheik turns on the ceiling fan to block out the noise.)
(11:00 AM)
Link:Hey I'm getting hungry.
(Everyone agries)
(They stand there happly for a second)
Link:Does anyone know how to cook?
Sheik:no.
Link:You don't?But I always see you eating!
Sheik:Malon always cooks extra for me.
Link:Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
(Sheik blushes)
Ganon:I'll give it a try.
Sheik and Link:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ganon:What's wrong?
Link:Remember what happend last Thanksgiving,when you were incharge of the turkey?
Ganon:I thought it turned out great.
Link:It was a burned shoe.
Ganon:The guests liked it.
Sheik:We paid them.
Ganon:(disappointed)oh...................................................... ...............
Link:We have to work as a team if we want to complete this task.We are about to journey into the unknown,where most men would never go near,we must watch each others backs if we want to make it out alive.Now brave laids to the kitchen!
Ganon and Sheik:YEAH!!!!!!
(in the kitchen.)
Link:(gets out cookbook)
Sheik:What do we want to eat.
Ganon:Cuccoo meat.
Link:We're banned from the Cuccoo farm.
Sheik:Soup.
Ganon:I used up the last cans on the church people that wanted me to have faith and to come forward in Din's light.That had to leave a mark.(laughs insanely)
Link:CAKE!!!
Everyone:YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Link:Okay(turns to the cake section in the cookbook.)What kind of cake?
Sheik:Well duh,chocolate.
Link:(turns page to chocolate cake)
Ganon:(looking at picture)Wow!!!That looks good!!!(starts eating picture)
Sheik:Ganon,That's just an example of what it will look like when we're done.
Ganon:Oh.(spits out picture)I knew that.(nervous laugh)
Link:Okay it says first we need a bowl.
Sheik:(looking through the cabents)All I can find is a super sized soup bowl.
Link:That should work.Now it says we need to put three eggs in the bowl.
Sheik:Okay here you go.(gives Link 3 eggs)
Link:(puts the eggs in the bowl uncracked.)Now it says put a cup of water in the bowl.
Sheik:Will cherry soda work?
Link:Sure same thing.
Sheik:(pours whole bottle in the bowl)
Link:Now it's says to put in cake mix from store.
Sheik:We don't have that,but potting soil might work since it almost looks the same.
Link:Yeah,your right.(pours in bag of potting soil)
(now the bowl is over flowing with cherry soda and potting soil.)
Link:Now we need to mix it up.
Ganon:(mixes the up everything in the bowl spilling it everywhere.)
Link:Now it says to put it in the oven on 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.
Sheik:(put's the bowl in the oven and turns the oven to 500 degrees)There,done.
(Link,Sheik,and Ganon look proudly at their creation for a couple of seconds.)
Sheik:What's taking so long in there?
Link:I'll check on it.It should be done by now.
(Link opens the oven and the "cake" explodes in his face with everything else flying all over the kitchen making a big mess.)
Link:(lies motionless with parts of the bowl on him and potting soil stains all over his body.)
(The kitchen now has an overwheming scent of cherry soda,and you can't see the wall color anymore because it's covered with potting soil)
Sheik:Link are you okay?
Link:I guess.(gets up)
Ganon:What a mess,now we have to clean it up.
Sheik:After lunch.
Link:(looking into mirror)Is that all you care about!!!When my beautiful face is soiled!!!
(Runs into bathroom and takes a shower)
Sheik and Ganon:..............................................
Sheik:Well we might as well try to get lunch ready.
Ganon:Let's skip the cooking this time let's order out!!!
Sheik and Ganon:PIZZA HUT!!!
(Ganon and Sheik stand by the phone and dials the number for pizza hut.)
Pizza Hut:Hello,Pizza Hut,may I take your order.
Sheik:(grabs phone)Yes I would like a large cheese pizza with a thin crust.(Ganon grabs phone)
Ganon:No don't listen to him we want a meat lovers pizza with a thick crust!!!(Sheik grabs phone)
Sheik:He's wrong!!!
(Ganon and Sheik both try to grab the phone and get in to a Tug of War or Tug of Phone)
PH:Hello!Hello!Are you still there?
(They keep pulling intill they wreck the phone and it falls to the ground in little pieces.)
Ganon and Sheik:UH OH!!!
(Link comes in fresh and clean.)
Link:(face turns to shock when he sees the phone,or what's left of it)What happend!
Sheik:We got into a phone fight.
Link:.............................................
Ganon:Now we have to drive into town to get lunch.
Link:We're not taking my car!!!I still remember what you did to it in the Easter Parade.
Sheik:We needed to decorate it so we could win the giant bunny rabbit doll!!!
Link:(red with anger)You painted smiley faces on my car.Everyone thought I was gay!!!I had to get it repainted!!!IT COST ME $7,000!!!!
Sheik:We won the rabbit.
(Link looks like he's going to explode.)
Ganon:Chill Link,we'll take Malon's car.
Sheik:(mad)You're not messing with my pumpkin's things!!!!
Ganon:Zelda's car then.
Link:Not my pretty princess.
Ganon,Link,and Sheik:Ruto's Car!!!!
(They go in Ruto's car and it smells strongly of perfume.)
(They gasp for air.)
Link:Zelda's perfume smells better.
(They look to the key slot and Ruto's keys are still there.)
Sheik:Man is she stupid!!!(starts the car)
(They drive off)
(in car)
Sheik:Were should we go?
Link and Ganon:DAIRY QUEEN!!!!
Sheik:Okay.
Link:Hurry up Sheik!!!You're going too slow!!!
Sheik:I can only go 30 miles an hour!!!
Link:So what?Hurry up!!!
Sheik:That's breaking the law!!!
Link:Driving after drinking is against the law too but I see you and Malon driving around jugging anything you can find with alcohal in it down!!!
Sheik:That's drinking while driving you idiot!!!
Link:Just give me the wheel slowpoke!!!(grabs the wheel)
(Sheik and Link get in a fight for the wheel,which makes the car go crazy,Then the car starts driving off the road in peoples yards.)
Ganon:Um,guys.
Link and Sheik:SHUT UP!!!!!!
(They are now in a park driving towards a duck pond with many huge rocks)
Link:Give me the wheel already!!!
Sheik:Let go you idiot you're gonna get us killed!!!
(They now are really close to the pond.)
Ganon:Both of you are getting us killed!!!
(Link and Sheik look out the window and realize whats happening.)
Sheik and Link:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ganon:Be good Ganon.
Sheik and Link:(grab eachother and start crying.)
Link:I'm sorry Sheik!
Sheik:Me too!
(They fly in the pond with a huge splash)
(The ducks fly away with fear and children run away screaming.)
(The pond is very shallow,but the car was damaged badly because it collided with a rock.)
(The car is covered with many duck feathers also.)
Link:Ruto's gonna kill us!!!
Ganon:Let's just tell her it was stolen.
Link:Good idea!!
Sheik:Um guys shouldn't we make a run for it!!
Ganon:Oh yeah the cops will be here soon!!!
(They look at each other for a second and make a run with panic to get out of the park)
(2:00 PM)
(They are walking home now exhasted and cross.)
Sheik:I'm so hungry.
Link:OH GEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!
Ganon:What do we do now?
Link:I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!For today let's just steal out of the neighbors garden!!!Tomarrow we will go the store!!!GEEZ!!!!
Sheik:Great idea!!!
(Their neighbors aren't home so they sneak in and steal enough food for lunch and dinner.)
Link:That tasted good.
(They step in the house and remember the mess they have to clean up.)
(Link puts the food in the refigerator.)
Link:I guess we better clean this up.(looks at the table and then his face turns pale.)
Ganon:What's wrong?
Link:(points to table cloth)Zelda's $500 table cloth is ruined!!!Shes going to kill me!!!(starts choking and rolls around on the floor in panic.)
Ganon:(steps over Link)Let's start by vaccuming the floor.
Sheik:Does anyone know how to use a vaccume?
Ganon:No.But how hard can be?(get's out vaccume)
Sheik:I guess we have to plug it in.(plugs it in)
Ganon:Maybe we press the on button now.(presses the on button)
(The vacumme starts and the noise scares them silly.)
(Ganon and Sheik hide behind the refigerator in fear.)
Sheik:Is it supposed to make those sounds?
Ganon:I don't know but I'm not going anywhere near it !!!
(Link is still rolling around in panic and rolls too close to it and it starts sucking his hat.)
Link:(in fear)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!It's got my hat!!!(runs around the vaccume in circles panicing and screaming)
(Link keeps running a couple minutes intill he trips over the cord and unplugs it.)
Link:Ow.(grabs his hat.)Oh no!!!My neat Kokori hat is dirty.
(Sheik and Ganon come over.)
Ganon:You saved us from the monster!!!
Sheik:YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
(3:00 PM)
Ganon:We're aren't doing very well with this cleaning stuff,let's take a break.
(They go in the living room and turn the TV to the news channel.)
News Person:This afternoon an accident was seen at the city park.Three men where seen driving into the famous duck pond and fled the scene.
(Link,Sheik,and Ganon turn pale.)
NP:Let's see what the witnesses have to say.
(The first witness is a little girl holding a very crushed ball with tire tracks on it)
Girl:They wrecked my ball.....
News Interviewer:Did you see what they look like?
Girl:Yes I did,One of them was wearing a green dress with a matching hat,he looked like one of those guys that would freak out if their clothes got dirty.
Link:DRESS!!!!!!DRESS!!!!!!HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!!!!!!IT'S A TUNIC!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!(screams in anger)
Girl:Another guy looked like he was in a bad Halloween costume with weird Armor.
Sheik:WHAT!!!!!!!WHAT DID SHE SAY!!!!!!!!!!DID SHE JUST INSULT MY COOL SHEIKAH CLOTHES!!!!!!!(bangs the couch in anger)
Ganon:Will you guys chill?It's not worth getting angry over.
Girl:And the last one was the ugly man of the group,he looked really old and really ugly,he had red hair,the kind that makes you want to scream in horror.
Ganon:WHAT!!!!!WHAT!!!!!!!OLD!!!!!!UGLY!!!!!!!!LAST!!!!!!!(gets really mad and throws a book out of the window and thankfully its open.)
Mido:OW!!!!!(you hear eating sounds outside)
Ganon:I feel better now!!!!!(fake laugh)(keeps whispering to himself in anger.)
Sheik and Link:...........................................................
Link:Maybe we should go outside for awhile and enjoy the fresh air.
Sheik:Okay let's go,
(Link and Sheik dash out of the house.)
(outside)
Sheik:(sigh)The weathers lovey today.
Link:Look someone left shredded green cloth in the bushes.
(You can see shredded green cloth in the place where Mido was this morning and a raccoon sitting by it looking like it just ate something good)
Sheik:Those litterbugs!!!
(Impa come up to them from next door,she lives in the house across from them with Mido, Cuccoo Lady,and some Goron that sits in the front yard all day rocking up and down.)
Impa:Hi guys,I need to ask you some things.Have you seen anyone in our yard?We just came back from the Casino and our garden has been stolen from.
Link:Oh............Gee...............I'm sorry We have been inside all day and we haven't seen anything.Right Sheik.
Skeik:Um.........................................
(Link hits Sheik in the ribs)
Sheik:(holding side)(in pain)No we have not.(moans)
Impa:That's okay.We use most of the crop to throw at the trick o treaters on Halloween.(laughs evily very loudly)
Sheik and Link:....................................................................... .......
Impa:(looks at bushes)OH MY GODDESSES!!!!(runs to bushes)
Link:What?It's just a piece of cloth.
(Impa holds up a Mido sized skeleton.)
Impa:(sad)It's Mido,He's dead.
Link:Oh,I thought I heard some noises out here.
Impa:(sad)He's been attacked by raccoons many times before,and now they've finished him.He was just the perfect size for a Raccoon meal.
(Sheik and Link try to hold back their laughter.)
Sheik:(happy)Hey Ganon come and see this,Mido was eaten!!!!
(Ganon runs outside and sees the scene.)
Ganon:NEATO!!!!
Impa:How am I going to tell Saria this.
Link:Saria?
Impa:Saria was Mido's girlfriend.
Link:I KNEW IT!!!GANON!!!!
Ganon:(hands Link a $50 dollar bill)
Impa:We better take him to the morge.Covered up of course.He was in your yard so you have to come.
Sheik:COOL!!!!I've always wanted to go to a morge!!!
Ganon and Link:Yeah!!!
Impa:(sigh)Let's go.
(Impa puts Mido in a Kmart bag since Mido is so small he could fit in one.)
Sheik:(excited)OH!!OH!!!!CAN I CARRIE THE DEAD BODY IMPA?
Impa:Sure,why not.
(They go in Impa's van and drive to the hospital(I know spelled wrong)where the morge is.)
(4:00)
(at the hospital)
Impa:I'm going to go to the front desk and tell them what happend,you guys stay here.(walks away)
Sheik:HA HA!!!I GET TO HOLD THE DEAD BODY AND YOU DON'T!!!!(swings the bag around.)
Link:Sheik I don't think thats a very good idea.
(Sheik keeps swinging the bag around and it gets out of control and flies out of his hands on to a cart being pushed by a nurse that goes on the elevator.)
Sheik:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Ganon:HA HA!!!
Sheik:We have to find,and you guys have to help me because Impa will pound all of us,not just me.
Ganon:Gee,your right.But where do we start?That body could be anywhere.
Sheik:There are 3 of us right,and there are 6 floors so each of us has to search 2 floors.
Link:That's alot of searching.
Sheik:I know but remember for the sake of our asses!!!!
Link and Ganon:YEAH!!!!!
Sheik:Link you search the 1st and 2nd floors,Ganon you search the 3rd and 4th floors,and I will search the 5th and 6th floors.
Sheik,Ganon,and Link:FOR OUR ASSES!!!!
(Everyone is looking at them Link runs into the mens room and Sheik and Ganon run into the elevator.)
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(Link 1st floor mens room)
Link:Let's see.
(someone comes in,it's some weird guy with brown hair and thick glasses.)
Link:Hey have you seen a bag with a dead person in it?
Weird Guy:(in a serious voice)I see many dead people everyday.
Link:Oh,do you work in the morge of something?
Weird Guy:No.They come to me at night and talk to me,they drink my tea in the afternoon,and they stalk me in the day.(points to an empty space.)MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (jumps into stall wall and makes a big hole in it.)
Link:(Runs freaked out,out of the mens room.)
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(Ganon 3rd floor doctors office.)
(Ganon peeks in to see a couple of doctors laughing)
Doctor 1:And then my sister got him drunk and dressed him up as a scarecrow,she put him in the farmers corn field and in the morning the farmers found him there and called the cops and he got put in jail.So that's how my sister dumped her boyfriend.
Doctor 2:HA HA,so what Jen?I've heard enough stories from you,I'd rather give someone an X ray for free.GEEZ!!!
Doctor 3:Get a life Ken,we know you could lisien to Jen for hours.
Doctor 2:(kicks doctor 3)
Doctor 3:(in pain)I knew it!!!
Doctor 1:(to doctor 2)So Ken are you doing anything this weekend.
Doctor 2:No.Did you have anything in mind?
Doctor 1:Well I was thinging we could have dinn-(is interupted by speaker.)
Speaker:Doctor Ken,Doctor Ken,there is a heart patient in room 34 who needs help right away.
Doctor 2(Ken):GRRRRRR,DAMN HEART PATIENTS AND THEIR HEART ATTACKS!!!THEIR JUST GONNA DIE ANYWAY!!!WHAT'S THE USE!!!THEY COULD OF AT LEAST TIMED IT BETTER!!!(screams with anger and walks of whispering angerly.)
Ganon:...............................................................(backs away from room)I don't think Mido is in there...............................................................
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(Sheik 5th floor kitchen)
Sheik:(talking to self)I think it's time for a break,I have been searching for 5 minutes now,I'm not used Malon being gone,so I think I deserve it with all this stress.
(Sheik is lucky all the cooks are on break.He sits down and and helps himself to a big portion of some hospital food,he's too weird to know that it sucks but he'll find out.)
Sheik:(put's a whole bunch in his mouth .for a second he just chews it like normal and then his face turns pale and he spits it out,just the same moment the cooks come back,he ends up spitting it on the cook.)
Cook:Gross!!!Next time aim dude!!!
Sheik:I'm sorry but this food is terrible!!!!
Cook:Now that hurt.
Sheik:Next time more salt at least.
Cook:I can't put salt in the food,it's bad for some of the sick people.
Sheik:Of all excuses you just picked the worst one,blameing your foul cooking on the sick people!!!!Tsk.Tsk.
Cook:NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE.......Hey why am I talking to you anyway,your not even supposed to be in here,get out of here!!!
Sheik:(all tough)And what if I don't want to?
Cook:SECURITY!!!!!
Sheik:(a scared girly sriek)Okay!!!Okay!!!I'm leaving!!!(runs for his life out of there.)
(While running out of the kitchen he bumps into the nurse that's pushing the cart that Mido's body is on.)
Sheik:Oh,I'm sorry.
Nurse:That's okay.Have a nice day!
Sheik:Okay I will!!!(Smiles and stands there for a second,and then he realizes that was the cart Mido was on.)OH CRAP!!!!(starts panicing and chases the nurse that's way ahead of him now.)HEY LADY WAIT!!!
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(5:00)
(Link first floor lobby reading a newspaper.)
Link:(laughing about something he's reading.)
(Saria runs in red-eyed and Zelda,Malon,Ruto,and Nabooru follow her looking bored.)
Link:(walks to Zelda)(happy)Hey Zelly,what brings you here.
Zelda:(points at Saria.)
Saria:Oh,how could this happen,(starts crying)We came as soon as we heard.
Malon:Actually,we tied Saria up and we took a swim and had lunch then we went to the mall and after we got broke we decided to come,it was short trip but fun!!!
Link:(egnores Malon and just keeps stareing at Zelda with his mouth watering.)
Malon:Why do we try.
Saria:(still crying)Somethings wrong here,why aren't you crying?
Nabooru:Because none of us care,we have are own lives.(points to Zelda and Link making out in the back ground)
Everyone:................................................
Saria:You people are so cruel,I love Mido.
Malon:No,No,little girl you don't love Mido,you loved Mido,he's dead now.
Saria:(breaks out into tears again.)
Nabooru:Smooth move.
(Impa comes in.)
Impa:Where's the body?
Saria:What do you mean?
Impa:I left the body with Sheik.Hey where is Sheik?
Nabooru:and Ganny Wanny.
Impa:Hey Link,(starts to walk over where Zelda and Link are making out and a freaked out group of people are watching them.)
Malon:Don't try.It's impossible to stop them.
Impa:I guess your right.
(The nurse with the cart with midos body is on it walks off the elevator with Sheik following seconds later panicking.)
Impa:Hey Sheik!!!
Sheik:EEK!!!!
Impa:Where's Mido?
Sheik:On there.(points to cart.)
(Impa grabs the bag.)
Saria:Is that where Mido is?
Impa:Yes.
(Saria grabs the bag and starts to look in.)
Impa:I wouldn't reccomend....................................................
Saria:(looks in the bag and see's Mido's skeleton.)(screams)
Impa:Well I'll take him to the morge and then we'll go home.
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(in car)
(They had to drag Zelda and Link in the car)
Malon:I have a strange feeling we forgot something.
(The scene flashes to the mens room in the hospital and you can here Ganon snoring in a stall,and then the scene flashes to show Nabooru standing by the door with her pants stuck in it)
Nabooru:HELP!!!
(The scene flashes back)
Sheik:Nah,your just tired.
Malon:Your right.
(at the house)
(Link and Sheik looks pale)
(They step inside.)
(The girls scream)
Malon:What happend!!!
Link:Well............................Um.................The raccoons broke in!We tried to stop them!!!
Sheik:..................................Oh Yes.
Ruto:Those nasty raccoons!!!
Malon:Let's make Saria clean it up so she shuts up.
Everyone but Saria:YEAH!!!
(a couple of minutes later you see Saria scrubbing the floor crying.)
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(Everyone went to bed early that day except Saria who's still cleaning up the kitchen.)
That's it for now.I'll have the next chapter up soon!!!I'm having so much fun writeng this.So please review and tell me how you liked it!!!^_^LATER!!!
Hello,everyone these are the storys of everyday life in a a house at Sunnyville Ave,Hyrule.In that house lives Link,Ganon,Sheik,Zelda,Nabooru,Malon,Ruto,Saria.It sounds like alot but there are alot of bedrooms.Anyways this is mostly randomness so tell me how you like it when your done reading this chapter!^_^
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(It's 10:00 AM and the women have called all the men to the kitchen to talk.)
Zelda:Hey wheres Sheik?
Link:He's in the living room watching the Sesame Street marition.
Sheik:(from living room)(screaming in panic):NO BIG BIRD!!!!DON'T TAKE THE GREEN PATH!!!THE LULU SPIDERS ARE THERE!!!NO!!!NO!!!DON'T DO IT!!!!
Zelda:.........................Sometimes I think that man's been to too many of those as he calls them "picnics".
Link:They are!I swear!
Malon:Attention!Attention!Us girls are going on vacation!So Link,you Sheik,and Ganon are in charge of taking care of the house.
(Link face turns from normal to panic.)
Zelda:Maybe we shouldn't go,remember what happend the last forth of July when we left them alone at the picnic table for five minutes.
Ruto:Yeah,but that's only because the Elephant man shot his sprinkle dust gun too soon.
Zelda:But still a ruined park is a ruined park.
Nabooru:My pants still don't have their bounce back.(looks down sadly to pants.)
Ganon:Don't worry about it,we'll be fine!
Zelda:Well,you can cook,right?
Link:(guilty silence)
Ganon:....................um.................well...............of course!!!
Link:WHAT!!!
Ganon:When I was Link's age I was the cooking champ of the land!
Nabooru:I don't remember that............
Ganon:Oh........Really.........well........
(Saria comes in and puts Ganon off the spot.)
Malon:Where have you been?
Saria:I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend.
Malon:Who's that?
Saria:I'll never tell.
Ruto:Let's get going,if we don't hurry up we won't get the free peanuts on the airplane!
(Nabooru and Ganon start making out.)
Everyone:Bad images!
Ruto:Okay let's go!
(The girls have too pull Nabooru off of Ganon and drag her in the van.)
Nabooru:(from van)(to Ganon)Be good cuddle bunny!!!
(The girls drive off very fast almost collidieding with a stop sign.)
Ganon:(sadly)Be good sugar muffin.
Link:Be good stomach.(starts pucking into sink)
Ganon:We better tell Sheik the news.
(They go into Living Room,where Sheik is watching Sesame Street intensely.)
Ganon:Hey Sheik.
Sheik:(doesn't react just keeps watching not even blinking.)
(Ganon turns off the TV)
Sheik:(screaming in horror)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT 2 + 2 IS!!!!
Ganon:It's 4 dude................................
Sheik:How do know.(screaming again)ELMO DIDN'T SAY IT,I'LL NEVER KNOW!!!
Ganon:okay........................................................
(The door bell rings)
(It's Mido)
Ganon:What do you want,shrimp?
Mido:Did Saria leave yet?
Ganon:Yes.Why?
Mido:Never mind(runs away but gets trapped in a bush in the yard)
Ganon:...............................................................
Mido:HELP ME!!!!HELP ME!!!!
Ganon:(goes inside.)
Link:Who was it?
Ganon:Nobody important.
Mido:(from outside)HELP!!!!!!THE RACOONS HAVE COME.AHHHHH THEY'RE TRYING TO EAT ME!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!(you hear sredding sounds from the bushes)
(Sheik turns on the ceiling fan to block out the noise.)
(11:00 AM)
Link:Hey I'm getting hungry.
(Everyone agries)
(They stand there happly for a second)
Link:Does anyone know how to cook?
Sheik:no.
Link:You don't?But I always see you eating!
Sheik:Malon always cooks extra for me.
Link:Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
(Sheik blushes)
Ganon:I'll give it a try.
Sheik and Link:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ganon:What's wrong?
Link:Remember what happend last Thanksgiving,when you were incharge of the turkey?
Ganon:I thought it turned out great.
Link:It was a burned shoe.
Ganon:The guests liked it.
Sheik:We paid them.
Ganon:(disappointed)oh...................................................... ...............
Link:We have to work as a team if we want to complete this task.We are about to journey into the unknown,where most men would never go near,we must watch each others backs if we want to make it out alive.Now brave laids to the kitchen!
Ganon and Sheik:YEAH!!!!!!
(in the kitchen.)
Link:(gets out cookbook)
Sheik:What do we want to eat.
Ganon:Cuccoo meat.
Link:We're banned from the Cuccoo farm.
Sheik:Soup.
Ganon:I used up the last cans on the church people that wanted me to have faith and to come forward in Din's light.That had to leave a mark.(laughs insanely)
Link:CAKE!!!
Everyone:YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Link:Okay(turns to the cake section in the cookbook.)What kind of cake?
Sheik:Well duh,chocolate.
Link:(turns page to chocolate cake)
Ganon:(looking at picture)Wow!!!That looks good!!!(starts eating picture)
Sheik:Ganon,That's just an example of what it will look like when we're done.
Ganon:Oh.(spits out picture)I knew that.(nervous laugh)
Link:Okay it says first we need a bowl.
Sheik:(looking through the cabents)All I can find is a super sized soup bowl.
Link:That should work.Now it says we need to put three eggs in the bowl.
Sheik:Okay here you go.(gives Link 3 eggs)
Link:(puts the eggs in the bowl uncracked.)Now it says put a cup of water in the bowl.
Sheik:Will cherry soda work?
Link:Sure same thing.
Sheik:(pours whole bottle in the bowl)
Link:Now it's says to put in cake mix from store.
Sheik:We don't have that,but potting soil might work since it almost looks the same.
Link:Yeah,your right.(pours in bag of potting soil)
(now the bowl is over flowing with cherry soda and potting soil.)
Link:Now we need to mix it up.
Ganon:(mixes the up everything in the bowl spilling it everywhere.)
Link:Now it says to put it in the oven on 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.
Sheik:(put's the bowl in the oven and turns the oven to 500 degrees)There,done.
(Link,Sheik,and Ganon look proudly at their creation for a couple of seconds.)
Sheik:What's taking so long in there?
Link:I'll check on it.It should be done by now.
(Link opens the oven and the "cake" explodes in his face with everything else flying all over the kitchen making a big mess.)
Link:(lies motionless with parts of the bowl on him and potting soil stains all over his body.)
(The kitchen now has an overwheming scent of cherry soda,and you can't see the wall color anymore because it's covered with potting soil)
Sheik:Link are you okay?
Link:I guess.(gets up)
Ganon:What a mess,now we have to clean it up.
Sheik:After lunch.
Link:(looking into mirror)Is that all you care about!!!When my beautiful face is soiled!!!
(Runs into bathroom and takes a shower)
Sheik and Ganon:..............................................
Sheik:Well we might as well try to get lunch ready.
Ganon:Let's skip the cooking this time let's order out!!!
Sheik and Ganon:PIZZA HUT!!!
(Ganon and Sheik stand by the phone and dials the number for pizza hut.)
Pizza Hut:Hello,Pizza Hut,may I take your order.
Sheik:(grabs phone)Yes I would like a large cheese pizza with a thin crust.(Ganon grabs phone)
Ganon:No don't listen to him we want a meat lovers pizza with a thick crust!!!(Sheik grabs phone)
Sheik:He's wrong!!!
(Ganon and Sheik both try to grab the phone and get in to a Tug of War or Tug of Phone)
PH:Hello!Hello!Are you still there?
(They keep pulling intill they wreck the phone and it falls to the ground in little pieces.)
Ganon and Sheik:UH OH!!!
(Link comes in fresh and clean.)
Link:(face turns to shock when he sees the phone,or what's left of it)What happend!
Sheik:We got into a phone fight.
Link:.............................................
Ganon:Now we have to drive into town to get lunch.
Link:We're not taking my car!!!I still remember what you did to it in the Easter Parade.
Sheik:We needed to decorate it so we could win the giant bunny rabbit doll!!!
Link:(red with anger)You painted smiley faces on my car.Everyone thought I was gay!!!I had to get it repainted!!!IT COST ME $7,000!!!!
Sheik:We won the rabbit.
(Link looks like he's going to explode.)
Ganon:Chill Link,we'll take Malon's car.
Sheik:(mad)You're not messing with my pumpkin's things!!!!
Ganon:Zelda's car then.
Link:Not my pretty princess.
Ganon,Link,and Sheik:Ruto's Car!!!!
(They go in Ruto's car and it smells strongly of perfume.)
(They gasp for air.)
Link:Zelda's perfume smells better.
(They look to the key slot and Ruto's keys are still there.)
Sheik:Man is she stupid!!!(starts the car)
(They drive off)
(in car)
Sheik:Were should we go?
Link and Ganon:DAIRY QUEEN!!!!
Sheik:Okay.
Link:Hurry up Sheik!!!You're going too slow!!!
Sheik:I can only go 30 miles an hour!!!
Link:So what?Hurry up!!!
Sheik:That's breaking the law!!!
Link:Driving after drinking is against the law too but I see you and Malon driving around jugging anything you can find with alcohal in it down!!!
Sheik:That's drinking while driving you idiot!!!
Link:Just give me the wheel slowpoke!!!(grabs the wheel)
(Sheik and Link get in a fight for the wheel,which makes the car go crazy,Then the car starts driving off the road in peoples yards.)
Ganon:Um,guys.
Link and Sheik:SHUT UP!!!!!!
(They are now in a park driving towards a duck pond with many huge rocks)
Link:Give me the wheel already!!!
Sheik:Let go you idiot you're gonna get us killed!!!
(They now are really close to the pond.)
Ganon:Both of you are getting us killed!!!
(Link and Sheik look out the window and realize whats happening.)
Sheik and Link:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ganon:Be good Ganon.
Sheik and Link:(grab eachother and start crying.)
Link:I'm sorry Sheik!
Sheik:Me too!
(They fly in the pond with a huge splash)
(The ducks fly away with fear and children run away screaming.)
(The pond is very shallow,but the car was damaged badly because it collided with a rock.)
(The car is covered with many duck feathers also.)
Link:Ruto's gonna kill us!!!
Ganon:Let's just tell her it was stolen.
Link:Good idea!!
Sheik:Um guys shouldn't we make a run for it!!
Ganon:Oh yeah the cops will be here soon!!!
(They look at each other for a second and make a run with panic to get out of the park)
(2:00 PM)
(They are walking home now exhasted and cross.)
Sheik:I'm so hungry.
Link:OH GEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!
Ganon:What do we do now?
Link:I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!For today let's just steal out of the neighbors garden!!!Tomarrow we will go the store!!!GEEZ!!!!
Sheik:Great idea!!!
(Their neighbors aren't home so they sneak in and steal enough food for lunch and dinner.)
Link:That tasted good.
(They step in the house and remember the mess they have to clean up.)
(Link puts the food in the refigerator.)
Link:I guess we better clean this up.(looks at the table and then his face turns pale.)
Ganon:What's wrong?
Link:(points to table cloth)Zelda's $500 table cloth is ruined!!!Shes going to kill me!!!(starts choking and rolls around on the floor in panic.)
Ganon:(steps over Link)Let's start by vaccuming the floor.
Sheik:Does anyone know how to use a vaccume?
Ganon:No.But how hard can be?(get's out vaccume)
Sheik:I guess we have to plug it in.(plugs it in)
Ganon:Maybe we press the on button now.(presses the on button)
(The vacumme starts and the noise scares them silly.)
(Ganon and Sheik hide behind the refigerator in fear.)
Sheik:Is it supposed to make those sounds?
Ganon:I don't know but I'm not going anywhere near it !!!
(Link is still rolling around in panic and rolls too close to it and it starts sucking his hat.)
Link:(in fear)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!It's got my hat!!!(runs around the vaccume in circles panicing and screaming)
(Link keeps running a couple minutes intill he trips over the cord and unplugs it.)
Link:Ow.(grabs his hat.)Oh no!!!My neat Kokori hat is dirty.
(Sheik and Ganon come over.)
Ganon:You saved us from the monster!!!
Sheik:YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
(3:00 PM)
Ganon:We're aren't doing very well with this cleaning stuff,let's take a break.
(They go in the living room and turn the TV to the news channel.)
News Person:This afternoon an accident was seen at the city park.Three men where seen driving into the famous duck pond and fled the scene.
(Link,Sheik,and Ganon turn pale.)
NP:Let's see what the witnesses have to say.
(The first witness is a little girl holding a very crushed ball with tire tracks on it)
Girl:They wrecked my ball.....
News Interviewer:Did you see what they look like?
Girl:Yes I did,One of them was wearing a green dress with a matching hat,he looked like one of those guys that would freak out if their clothes got dirty.
Link:DRESS!!!!!!DRESS!!!!!!HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!!!!!!IT'S A TUNIC!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!!!TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!(screams in anger)
Girl:Another guy looked like he was in a bad Halloween costume with weird Armor.
Sheik:WHAT!!!!!!!WHAT DID SHE SAY!!!!!!!!!!DID SHE JUST INSULT MY COOL SHEIKAH CLOTHES!!!!!!!(bangs the couch in anger)
Ganon:Will you guys chill?It's not worth getting angry over.
Girl:And the last one was the ugly man of the group,he looked really old and really ugly,he had red hair,the kind that makes you want to scream in horror.
Ganon:WHAT!!!!!WHAT!!!!!!!OLD!!!!!!UGLY!!!!!!!!LAST!!!!!!!(gets really mad and throws a book out of the window and thankfully its open.)
Mido:OW!!!!!(you hear eating sounds outside)
Ganon:I feel better now!!!!!(fake laugh)(keeps whispering to himself in anger.)
Sheik and Link:...........................................................
Link:Maybe we should go outside for awhile and enjoy the fresh air.
Sheik:Okay let's go,
(Link and Sheik dash out of the house.)
(outside)
Sheik:(sigh)The weathers lovey today.
Link:Look someone left shredded green cloth in the bushes.
(You can see shredded green cloth in the place where Mido was this morning and a raccoon sitting by it looking like it just ate something good)
Sheik:Those litterbugs!!!
(Impa come up to them from next door,she lives in the house across from them with Mido, Cuccoo Lady,and some Goron that sits in the front yard all day rocking up and down.)
Impa:Hi guys,I need to ask you some things.Have you seen anyone in our yard?We just came back from the Casino and our garden has been stolen from.
Link:Oh............Gee...............I'm sorry We have been inside all day and we haven't seen anything.Right Sheik.
Skeik:Um.........................................
(Link hits Sheik in the ribs)
Sheik:(holding side)(in pain)No we have not.(moans)
Impa:That's okay.We use most of the crop to throw at the trick o treaters on Halloween.(laughs evily very loudly)
Sheik and Link:....................................................................... .......
Impa:(looks at bushes)OH MY GODDESSES!!!!(runs to bushes)
Link:What?It's just a piece of cloth.
(Impa holds up a Mido sized skeleton.)
Impa:(sad)It's Mido,He's dead.
Link:Oh,I thought I heard some noises out here.
Impa:(sad)He's been attacked by raccoons many times before,and now they've finished him.He was just the perfect size for a Raccoon meal.
(Sheik and Link try to hold back their laughter.)
Sheik:(happy)Hey Ganon come and see this,Mido was eaten!!!!
(Ganon runs outside and sees the scene.)
Ganon:NEATO!!!!
Impa:How am I going to tell Saria this.
Link:Saria?
Impa:Saria was Mido's girlfriend.
Link:I KNEW IT!!!GANON!!!!
Ganon:(hands Link a $50 dollar bill)
Impa:We better take him to the morge.Covered up of course.He was in your yard so you have to come.
Sheik:COOL!!!!I've always wanted to go to a morge!!!
Ganon and Link:Yeah!!!
Impa:(sigh)Let's go.
(Impa puts Mido in a Kmart bag since Mido is so small he could fit in one.)
Sheik:(excited)OH!!OH!!!!CAN I CARRIE THE DEAD BODY IMPA?
Impa:Sure,why not.
(They go in Impa's van and drive to the hospital(I know spelled wrong)where the morge is.)
(4:00)
(at the hospital)
Impa:I'm going to go to the front desk and tell them what happend,you guys stay here.(walks away)
Sheik:HA HA!!!I GET TO HOLD THE DEAD BODY AND YOU DON'T!!!!(swings the bag around.)
Link:Sheik I don't think thats a very good idea.
(Sheik keeps swinging the bag around and it gets out of control and flies out of his hands on to a cart being pushed by a nurse that goes on the elevator.)
Sheik:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Ganon:HA HA!!!
Sheik:We have to find,and you guys have to help me because Impa will pound all of us,not just me.
Ganon:Gee,your right.But where do we start?That body could be anywhere.
Sheik:There are 3 of us right,and there are 6 floors so each of us has to search 2 floors.
Link:That's alot of searching.
Sheik:I know but remember for the sake of our asses!!!!
Link and Ganon:YEAH!!!!!
Sheik:Link you search the 1st and 2nd floors,Ganon you search the 3rd and 4th floors,and I will search the 5th and 6th floors.
Sheik,Ganon,and Link:FOR OUR ASSES!!!!
(Everyone is looking at them Link runs into the mens room and Sheik and Ganon run into the elevator.)
_______________________________________________________________________
(Link 1st floor mens room)
Link:Let's see.
(someone comes in,it's some weird guy with brown hair and thick glasses.)
Link:Hey have you seen a bag with a dead person in it?
Weird Guy:(in a serious voice)I see many dead people everyday.
Link:Oh,do you work in the morge of something?
Weird Guy:No.They come to me at night and talk to me,they drink my tea in the afternoon,and they stalk me in the day.(points to an empty space.)MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (jumps into stall wall and makes a big hole in it.)
Link:(Runs freaked out,out of the mens room.)
_______________________________________________________________________
(Ganon 3rd floor doctors office.)
(Ganon peeks in to see a couple of doctors laughing)
Doctor 1:And then my sister got him drunk and dressed him up as a scarecrow,she put him in the farmers corn field and in the morning the farmers found him there and called the cops and he got put in jail.So that's how my sister dumped her boyfriend.
Doctor 2:HA HA,so what Jen?I've heard enough stories from you,I'd rather give someone an X ray for free.GEEZ!!!
Doctor 3:Get a life Ken,we know you could lisien to Jen for hours.
Doctor 2:(kicks doctor 3)
Doctor 3:(in pain)I knew it!!!
Doctor 1:(to doctor 2)So Ken are you doing anything this weekend.
Doctor 2:No.Did you have anything in mind?
Doctor 1:Well I was thinging we could have dinn-(is interupted by speaker.)
Speaker:Doctor Ken,Doctor Ken,there is a heart patient in room 34 who needs help right away.
Doctor 2(Ken):GRRRRRR,DAMN HEART PATIENTS AND THEIR HEART ATTACKS!!!THEIR JUST GONNA DIE ANYWAY!!!WHAT'S THE USE!!!THEY COULD OF AT LEAST TIMED IT BETTER!!!(screams with anger and walks of whispering angerly.)
Ganon:...............................................................(backs away from room)I don't think Mido is in there...............................................................
_______________________________________________________________________
(Sheik 5th floor kitchen)
Sheik:(talking to self)I think it's time for a break,I have been searching for 5 minutes now,I'm not used Malon being gone,so I think I deserve it with all this stress.
(Sheik is lucky all the cooks are on break.He sits down and and helps himself to a big portion of some hospital food,he's too weird to know that it sucks but he'll find out.)
Sheik:(put's a whole bunch in his mouth .for a second he just chews it like normal and then his face turns pale and he spits it out,just the same moment the cooks come back,he ends up spitting it on the cook.)
Cook:Gross!!!Next time aim dude!!!
Sheik:I'm sorry but this food is terrible!!!!
Cook:Now that hurt.
Sheik:Next time more salt at least.
Cook:I can't put salt in the food,it's bad for some of the sick people.
Sheik:Of all excuses you just picked the worst one,blameing your foul cooking on the sick people!!!!Tsk.Tsk.
Cook:NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE.......Hey why am I talking to you anyway,your not even supposed to be in here,get out of here!!!
Sheik:(all tough)And what if I don't want to?
Cook:SECURITY!!!!!
Sheik:(a scared girly sriek)Okay!!!Okay!!!I'm leaving!!!(runs for his life out of there.)
(While running out of the kitchen he bumps into the nurse that's pushing the cart that Mido's body is on.)
Sheik:Oh,I'm sorry.
Nurse:That's okay.Have a nice day!
Sheik:Okay I will!!!(Smiles and stands there for a second,and then he realizes that was the cart Mido was on.)OH CRAP!!!!(starts panicing and chases the nurse that's way ahead of him now.)HEY LADY WAIT!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
(5:00)
(Link first floor lobby reading a newspaper.)
Link:(laughing about something he's reading.)
(Saria runs in red-eyed and Zelda,Malon,Ruto,and Nabooru follow her looking bored.)
Link:(walks to Zelda)(happy)Hey Zelly,what brings you here.
Zelda:(points at Saria.)
Saria:Oh,how could this happen,(starts crying)We came as soon as we heard.
Malon:Actually,we tied Saria up and we took a swim and had lunch then we went to the mall and after we got broke we decided to come,it was short trip but fun!!!
Link:(egnores Malon and just keeps stareing at Zelda with his mouth watering.)
Malon:Why do we try.
Saria:(still crying)Somethings wrong here,why aren't you crying?
Nabooru:Because none of us care,we have are own lives.(points to Zelda and Link making out in the back ground)
Everyone:................................................
Saria:You people are so cruel,I love Mido.
Malon:No,No,little girl you don't love Mido,you loved Mido,he's dead now.
Saria:(breaks out into tears again.)
Nabooru:Smooth move.
(Impa comes in.)
Impa:Where's the body?
Saria:What do you mean?
Impa:I left the body with Sheik.Hey where is Sheik?
Nabooru:and Ganny Wanny.
Impa:Hey Link,(starts to walk over where Zelda and Link are making out and a freaked out group of people are watching them.)
Malon:Don't try.It's impossible to stop them.
Impa:I guess your right.
(The nurse with the cart with midos body is on it walks off the elevator with Sheik following seconds later panicking.)
Impa:Hey Sheik!!!
Sheik:EEK!!!!
Impa:Where's Mido?
Sheik:On there.(points to cart.)
(Impa grabs the bag.)
Saria:Is that where Mido is?
Impa:Yes.
(Saria grabs the bag and starts to look in.)
Impa:I wouldn't reccomend....................................................
Saria:(looks in the bag and see's Mido's skeleton.)(screams)
Impa:Well I'll take him to the morge and then we'll go home.
_______________________________________________________________________
(in car)
(They had to drag Zelda and Link in the car)
Malon:I have a strange feeling we forgot something.
(The scene flashes to the mens room in the hospital and you can here Ganon snoring in a stall,and then the scene flashes to show Nabooru standing by the door with her pants stuck in it)
Nabooru:HELP!!!
(The scene flashes back)
Sheik:Nah,your just tired.
Malon:Your right.
(at the house)
(Link and Sheik looks pale)
(They step inside.)
(The girls scream)
Malon:What happend!!!
Link:Well............................Um.................The raccoons broke in!We tried to stop them!!!
Sheik:..................................Oh Yes.
Ruto:Those nasty raccoons!!!
Malon:Let's make Saria clean it up so she shuts up.
Everyone but Saria:YEAH!!!
(a couple of minutes later you see Saria scrubbing the floor crying.)
_______________________________________________________________________
(Everyone went to bed early that day except Saria who's still cleaning up the kitchen.)
That's it for now.I'll have the next chapter up soon!!!I'm having so much fun writeng this.So please review and tell me how you liked it!!!^_^LATER!!!
