Days in
Sunnyville Ave Hyrule
Welcome,Welcome to another dramatic episode of Days in Sunnyville Hyrule.Chapter Six!Review and enjoy!^_^
_______________________________________________________________________
(It's 10:00AM and everyone has forgoton yesterdays depressing day,except Nabooru,who buried her car remains in the backyard by some of Malon's man eating plants.)
Nabooru:(sobbing)I had this car ever since I was 10 and not old enough to drive.The hyrule police always were crushed by it.(sobs some more)
That same freaky tomato plant:(makes some weird noises that sound like "There there." and pats Nabooru's shoulder)
(Besides that everything is like normal except for Saria who's walking around nervously for some reason.Link and Ganon are playing Zelda Ocarina of Time on their new Nintendo 64)
(They turn it on and sit on the floor looking at the TV all excited.)
Link:Wow it's alive!
Ganon:(excited giggle)
Link:Look!That's me on the title screen!I'm riding a horse!Cool.
Ganon:What do we do now?
("Press Start" is flashing on the screen in big bold yellow letters as the Link on the screen points to it impatiently)
Link:I don't know......Let's just mash buttons like those weird people at "Nintendo" do.
Ganon:CAN DO!(smashes the controler and luckly hits start)
Link:Cool!Now we have to put in our name.
Ganon:(thinking hard)Maybe we should use Ganon and Link.
Link:AWESOME DUDE! (headbutts with Ganon)
Ganon:(Acting insane from the headbutt.)Messed up head my feels.
Link:Dude...Whoa totally oranges whoa.........
Ganon:(punches in Gink and Lanon)
Link:Awesome dude.
Ganon:Now we can start.
(They watch the intro)
Ganon:Cool I can ride a horse too!And it's black!
Link:And so can Impa!
Ganon:Look!It's you before you got handsome!I'm kicking your butt!GO LANONDORF!!!!WOOOO!!!
(The game starts)
Ganon:Wow you had it hard before you went through puberty.
Link:(irritated)Alright,Ganon.Quit while your ahead.....
(They keep playing until they hear......)
Sheik:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CUCCOO EGG!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Ganon and Nabooru run in the kitchen with Link following them boredly.)
(Sheik points to another batch off eggs with fear)
Nabooru:(with her STILL pink hair hidden under a bandana)Let's get this over with.
(They look at the eggs.)
Ganon:Look!There's a green egg with Malon's face on it.
Sheik:(worried)What does that mean..................
Ganon:She will accidently get pregnate.
Sheik:(nervous whimper)
Ganon:And Sheik you have a red egg.
Nabooru:Which means you will be humilated.
Sheik:(shivers nervously)
Ganon:And Saria has and orange egg which means she'll have misrable time.
Nabooru:Duh!
(They all laugh.)
(Impa and Saria walk in dressed in black (well, Impa is always dressed in black but Saria is wearing a black version of what she usually wears)
Impa:ATTENTION PLEASE!!EVERYONE REPORT TO THE KITCHEN FOR A MEETING!!!!!
(They all walk in to kitchen boredly)
(Malon is the last one coming in and is covered with soil from gardening.)
Malon:Would someone want some of this nice cake I made this morning?
Sheik:ME!(Runs up to the cake and starts inhaling it)
Malon:(giggle)^_^I'll pour you some LonLon milk.
Impa:Please pay attention!Saria has something to say!
Everyone but Impaand Saria:(groan)
Saria:(upset)T-today is is ...................M-m-m-m-
Impa:Mido's funeral.
Saria:Yes.(starts sobbing)
Link:So?
Impa:And you're all coming!
Everyone but Impa and Saria:(groan)
Ganon:But we were going to get Nabooru a new car.
Impa:It'll have to wait.YOU'RE ALL COMING AND YOU'RE WEARING BLACK.
Zelda:Sure.(winks)I look good in everything I wear.
Link:AMEN!
Malon:OH OH!Zelda I have perfect matching black dresses!
Zelda:I'll take any excuse to show off cute clothes.
(Malon and Zelda run upstairs excited.)
Saria:Why aren't you sad.
Nabooru:Aha!I have the perfect black pants.And I inflated them this morning.I had a feeling I'd need them!(runs upstairs as excited as Malon and Zelda)
Saria:What is everyone's problem!
(They all get dressed and they go to Impa's van.)
(Nabooru is wearing the same thing she always wears only in black.Link is wearing a black tunic.Malon and Zelda are wearing matching black dresses.Sheik and Ganon are wearing matching suits.)
Sheik:We are so cool.
Link:We look like the Adam's family.
(A severed hand randomly falls in the driveway.)
Some weird dude driving by in a red truck:Sorry!(waves his bloody arm and grins)
Zelda:Yuck.
Malon:Why did I eat all of those self-destructing grapes.....
Impa:Wheres Ruto?
(Ruto runs out in a sparkly black dress holding her camera.)
Ruto:Sorry!(ditzy giggle)I was getting my camera ready!(goes in Impa's van and bonks her head on the ceiling as she enters)
(Zelda and Malon look at Ruto's dress enviously.)
Zelda:(whispering to Malon)She's such an idiot and she manages to always dress herself better than us.
Malon:(nods angerly)
Ruto:(giggles)Thanks!(zooms in with camera)Maybe it's because I don't dress like I need to rip off my clothes any second.(grins)
Malon:(angry gasp)
Impa:Those dresses are kind of low cut for a funeral......
Zelda:Why are you talking?Look what you always wear.
Impa:Oh.
Malon:At least we're pretty.(glares angerly at Ruto)
Ruto:Did you know one time I stuck a penny up my uncles nose.My dad said he went on a very long vacation.I never saw him again but every year he sends a hate letter to me.Such a sweet man.
Nabooru:I did the same thing to my grandma once.
Ruto:(snorts)
Link:(to Ganon and Sheik)Women are so weird.
Sheik:Yeah.(starts slamming Ganon with a tennis racket over the head for no apparent reason.)
Ganon:Awesome dude...........(collapes on the van's floor knocked out)
Impa:We better get going!
(The van starts and they drive to the funeral home.)
(It's the same priest doing the funeral that married Link and Zelda.)
Priest:Hello everyone the funeral will start in 4 hours.
Everyone but the priest,Impa,and Saria:WHAT!
Funeral Director:(popping up all of a sudden)We need your help for us to prepare and to cry on each other's shoulders in these tough times-
Ganon:BORING!NABOORU CAN WE GO HOME YET?
Nabooru:Sorry Ganny Wanny but the Sheikah lady will pound us if we don't stay.
Sheik:Where are we having the reseption?
FD:In our reseption room downstairs.
Sheik:Is the food there yet?
FD:Yes,but it's about celebrating the life of Mido-
Sheik:(has already ran down there)
Malon:(giggles)Isn't he adorable?(follows him)
Link:Hey Zelda,do you want to go makeout in the parking lot?
Zelda:(winks at Link)
(They walk outside.)
Ganon:HEY NABOORU THERE'S A PARK ACROSS THE STREET!!!PUSH ME ON THE SWING!!!(Runs off)
Nabooru:(sigh)(follows him)
Impa:At least we still have Ruto to help.Even though she'll proubley cause harvoc.
Saria:She's gone!
Impa:She left a note.
My Dear Friends,
I went to the dry cleaners to pour some gravy on the machines there!Fun Fun Fun!You need to try it sometime!I'll try to be back before,what's name?Oh!Minden's funeral starts.
Thankies ^_^ -
Princess Ruto of the Zora
Impa:Great,just great.
Ruto:(hiding behind some door with her camera ready for action)Perfect time to get some dirt.(giggle)
Impa:Excuse me,Mr.funeral director,But how do you "prepare" for a funeral.
FD:We need to set up the c-a-s-k-e-t (looks at Saria who obviously can't spell).You know put f-l-o-w-e-r-s on t-o-p of it and set it up.
Impa:Oh. (thinking)*Man,I'm sure glad he spelled out the word "top"!* (shudders)
FD:(looks nervously at Saria who gives them an "I'm such a sweet and naive child.Don't corupt me with hate." look.)
(Of course they don't know that Saria is a close friend of Kirby and carries a spare knife at all times.)
Impa:Saria,why don't you go downstairs and see how Malon and Sheik are doing.If you see any large bottles with lots of X's then run.
Saria:(nods and runs downstairs)
FD:Now if you don't mind I need to get my self pumped up for another funeral-
Ganon:(from across the street)(sounds like he's high on sugar)DID SOMEONE SAY PUMPED UP!!!!!!!(you hear a slamming sound)
Nabooru:Oh no Ganon!You broke another swing set.These swings are made for children not-
Ganon:NABOORU!!!!NABOORU!!!!!!I FOUND ANOTHER SWING SET THAT I DIDN'T WRECK YET!!!!PUSH ME!!!NABOORU!!!PUSH ME!!!!
(They look out the window to see Ganon hyperactively swinging really high and fast as he screams "LOOK OUT WORLD I'M APPLESAUSE MAN!!!!!All the passerbys are giving Nabooru weird looks as she covers her face with her hands.)
(They close the curtains.)
FD:Like I said I need to get my self p-u-m-p-e-d u-p for another funeral.
Impa:(freaked out)How do you do that?
FD:THE CAN-CAN!
Impa:I'll be going downstairs now.........
_______________________________________________________________________
(In the reseption room)
(Impa enters to see Sheik rapidly stuffing his face as Malon sits watching him grinning as Saria bangs her head on the wall.)
Impa:Er.......Hi.
Malon:Look what I found!(Malon shows Impa another strange plant like those in her garden.)I'm going to try to set it up with my tomato plant.They'd make a nice couple.I could plant it right by the Cuccoo pen!
Impa:(smiles fakely and nods)
Malon:And that's not the only good part!It vomits purple flem.See?(The plant starts pucking on Impa's shoe and her shoe turns green)
Impa:Maybe I should go outside....(walks out)
_______________________________________________________________________
(Impa walks outside and walks across the street ending up in the park.)
Ganon:(is jumping up and down on the see-saw)
Nabooru:Ganny!No!You can't jump on a see-saw like-
(Ganon keeps jumping and the see-saw hits him in the face and he flies across half of the park landing in a sandbox.)
Nabooru:that..........................
(They walk over to Ganon who is still face down in the sand.)
Nabooru:Ganny?
Ganon:(jumps up all of a sudden almost giving Impa and Nabooru a heart attack)(in his usual loud anoing voice)NABOORU!!!I FLEW!!!!WOOOOOOO!!!!I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!!!!NABOORU YOU HAVE TO TRY IT!!!IT GIVES YOU A RUSH !!!!
Nabooru:(freaked out)I think you are getting a little too "pumped up"-
Ganon:YEAH!!!!!I'M PUMPED UP !!!!!!!
Impa:(not saying anything just stares at Ganon freaked out)
Nabooru:(in a sweet fake voice)Let's go back to the funeral home Ganny dear.If you come with me I promise you can do all the "Mega Flips" and "Wooooo's" you desire.
Ganon:YEAH!!!!PUMPED UP!!!!(runs hyperactivly back to the funeral home yelling "MOTERCYCLE DUSTER!!!!")
Impa:(shocked)Why did you tell him that?
Nabooru:It's their game now.They should have enough money to pay for the broken pottery.After overpricing a corpse box that you just bury underground anyway!
Impa:They call them coffens.
Nabooru:Whatever,let's just go back inside.
_______________________________________________________________________
(back inside the funeral home)
(1:00)
(you hear crashing sounds and Ganon yelling "I ATE SAND AND IT TASTES LIKE CHINESE FOOD!!!!WOOOOO!!!" in the background )
(Everyone is sitting in the funeral area just talking while Saria,Impa,and the Funeral Director do all the work.)
Malon:Nabooru,did I show you my new plant.
Nabooru:(freaked out)...........
Malon:Don't be afraid.OH FOR DIN'S FIRE!!!!!
(The plant ripped up Nabooru's bandana that she was hidding her hair under and then it started vomiting it's flem on her hair.)
(Nabooru's hair stays pink for a second and then it turns all of the colors of the rainbow.Any color you could think of is on her head.)
Nabooru:(opens her hair tie and then sees it and screams)
(Everyone runs to her.)
Ganon:(excited)NEATO!!!!!!SKITTLES!!!!!!
Sheik:(to himself)What does the rainbow taste like.....
Link:Totally Funky,man.Flower childen yeah!(insert insane display of a peace sign)
Zelda:Maybe it'll come out this time......heh.....Who knows...
(Nabooru looks like she might explode.)
Malon:Don't worry it's not poisonous or anything.See I'll eat some.(Eats some purple flem and just sits there for a second then falls to the ground gasping for air.)
Ganon:(high fives Sheik)AWESOME DUDE!!!!YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MISS THE FUNERAL!!!!!
Sheik:YEAH!!!!!!
Malon:(rolling on the floor)....choking.....still choking...can't breath.....
Sheik:(picks up Malon and starts leaving)
Impa:OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!The flem from that plant just causes insane and humilating side effects.Nothing life threating.Only mental and emotional pain.
Sheik:I DON'T CARE!!!!(jumps out of the window and you hear driving sounds)
Impa:Did he just take my van................
Link:(shrugs and starts digging in to a piece of pie that he got from downstairs)
Nabooru:Where did Ganon go?
Impa:Here's another note...Nabooru you'll have to help me I can't read his writing.
Hi everyone : ) !!!!!
I went somewhere to do something for someone and I'll be back sometime!!!: ) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!I like pens!!!!!!!!!!!!!Stay PUMPED UP!!!
Airplanes!!!!Woooooooooo!!!!- Ganon
Everyone:............................................................
(Ruto jumps in the room freaking everyone out.)
Ruto:HI!!!!!!!!!DID EVERYONE MISS ME?
Impa:And I thought it would be quiet for awhile......
Ruto:I'M READY TO FLIM THE CORPSE'S FUNERAL!!!!
Saria:(breaks out into loud sobs when Ruto says "corpse" )
Zelda:We're going to have to tape her mouth shut so she stays quiet.I need to balance my checkbook.
Link:And I need to go through this walkthrough guide so I figure out how to get past spider lady!
Nabooru:(gets tape out of nowhere and tightly tapes Saria's mouth shut and then ties her to the chair)
Zelda:Lovely touch.
Nabooru:Thank you.
_______________________________________________________________________
(2:00)
(everyone is getting in their seats for the funeral)
(Actually the only people that came where Kirby,looking ready to show off his cuteness,Mario,looking extremely depressed just looks at the floor,and the one and only Pokegirl,looking ready to make plot holes and freak people out.)
(The chairs turn into grape chairs.)
Pokegirl:HA HA!!!!!!!
Nabooru:We're doomed.
Ruto:I LIKE SEAWEED!!!!!
Priest:Everyone take your seat the funeral is about to begin.
Mario:Does anyone love me?
Priest:No.
Mario:Oh...........
(they all sit down)
(they wheel the casket in front of the room)
(Everyone looks bored except for Saria who screams and cries muffled screams and cries.)
(Ruto seems to be zooming in and out rapidly on the priest's head with her camera.)
Priest:We are gathered here today to celebrate the short but blessed life of Mido-Hey why do all of the last names get smugged!THEY ALWAYS GIVE ME THE CHEAP STUFF ITS ALWAYS RICK THEY GIVE THE NICE STUFF TO!!!!(points to a random dude in the doorway he laughs evily and jumps out of the window)
Everyone:@.@...........................
Priest:(talking again in the calm priestly tone)Mido was a sweet young boy his past times included running from giant wild animals and getting chased by horses.He loved spending time with his girlfriend Saria-DAMN THE SMUGGES!!!!!(cough)Anyway(keeps on droning like that)
(he keeps going on for thirty minutes like that and then-)
(Ganon all of a sudden jumped through the window which was closed and scattered glass shards all over and accidently lands on the casket which then opens dumping Mido's skeleton on the floor slamming against a chair causing a chain reation of the chairs colasping like dominios.)
(Everyone fell on their butt,but where for one time in a million years glad that Ganon crashed through a window hyperactivly.)
(Saria starts screaming when she sees Mido's skeleton on the floor.)
Ganon:NABOORU!!!!NABOORU!!!!I HAVE A SUPRIZE FOR YOU!!!!COME OUTSIDE EVERYONE!!!!!
(they all walk outside to see a brand new shiny truck with a ribbion on it.It was bright puck orange but I guess Nabooru liked it because she started crying and hugged Ganon)
Nabooru:It's so beautiful!!!!Ganondorf Dragmire you are the sweetest man to walk this earth.
Ganon:(is glowing)
(No really Ganon you are really glowing.Not as in happy but as in-)
Ganon:AAAHHHHHHHHHHH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(jumps into a random pond)
(Ganon walks out of the pond grinning and soaked with mud)
Nabooru:ATTENTION EVERYONE I'M DRIVING YOU GUYS ALL HOME!!!!!ZELDA SITS UP FRONT WITH ME EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BACK!!!!
(Nabooru and Zelda go in the truck and everyone else climbs in the back)
Zelda:Ha Ha!!!!!
Nabooru:You guys better hold on tight I can be a reckless driver.
Everyone but Zelda and Nabooru:(freaked out)..............
(They finally made it home all in one piece(kind of),of course they made a big scene with the screaming of "the load" but oh well.)
Zelda:Awesome truck!
Nabooru:Yeah it rocks!(A pile of rocks randomly fall in the street.)
Link:Wow,that was random.
(They all go inside)
_______________________________________________________________________
(inside the house)
(3:00)
(They enter to see Sheik and Malon sitting quietly in the living room.)
Malon:They're is something we need to tell you.
(Sheik grabs Malon's hands.)
Malon:I am
I
I have fish eggs in my stomach!They were in the flem!
Everyone but Sheik and Malon:..................................
Malon:The doctor said that I will eventually sneeze them all up.
Sheik:(relieved)That's what the Cuccoo egg ment!But I don't know about me being humilated.Hasn't happend yet!
(Sheik suddenly trips on a jar of pickles and falls yet again out of the window and his clothes rip on the window sill.Then he rolls around in the front yard in nothing but his boxer shorts.)
People Passing By:HA HA!!!!!
Sheik:Why did I open my big mouth.......(sobs in humilation)
Ganon:HA HA!!!!!
Link:Hey!It's actually funny when it doesn't happend to you!It would be even funnier if a Cuccoo would come and rip his boxer shorts off!
(Thanks for the suggestion Link!)
(A cuccoo comes and rips off Sheik's blue and pink heart boxer shorts.)
Sheik:Too much humilation!Can't take it!Banannas are yellow and green......(faints)
Ganon:Should we help him now?
Malon and all of the female readers:NO!!!!!LEAVE HIM THERE!!!!!!
(Then all of a sudden they hear a comotion a couple blocks up the road.)
(So they all randomly walk there,leaving Sheik laying there.)
(They all give each other shocked looks as they look at what used to be a giant gap is now a host of a giant school.)
Everyone:......................................POKEGIRL!!!!!
Pokegirl:(randomly popped up)HI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda:What in Nayru's earring is going on here?
Pokegirl:What you see before you is a school!It used to be my school but I teleported it here!This school will become your town's school!
Everyone but Pokegirl:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Pokegirl:A HA HAHA HAAHA AHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Everyone but Pokegirl:@.@()
Pokegirl:I already emptyed out everyone.........Wait!!!!Someone's coming out!!!!
(It's my friend,Shawn and my science teacher.)
( My science teacher looks extremly misrable and even more when he see's Pokegirl.)
My Science Teacher:No.........Let the pain end....
Pokegirl:HI!!!!!
Shawn:I am yogurt!!!!!!!!
Pokegirl:AWESOME!!!(They slap hands.)
MST:Please end it now.......................
(Pokegirl snaps her fingers and they disappear.)
Pokegirl:School starts on August 23rd I will be taking applications for jobs.I'm the principal but if you want a job please go to my vice principal.(Starts opening the fluffy pink backpack she was wearing and in the backpack was
it
was
KIRBY IN A BROWN SUIT WITH AN ADORABLE TIE(looking cute as usual)
Pokegirl:He's the vice principal!Take all applications to him.
(Kirby makes an evil grin and makes a punching motion with his hands.)
Pokegirl,Zelda and Malon:Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
Pokegirl:Well that's all really.(starts to go in)
Nabooru:What happend to Mario?
Pokegirl:Who?
(The scene flashes to show Mario preparing a rope to hang himself with.All of a sudden Mario is bombed with jelly.Mario looks around inspiered.)
Mario:Jelly!That's it I have a purpose in life!!!!TO CREATE PERFECT JELLY WOOOOOOOO!!!
(The scene flashes back.)
Pokegirl:Bye!(walks into the school with Kirby on her back.)
_______________________________________________________________________
(They all go home like nothing happend.)
(Ganon and Sheik call a meeting in the kitchen.)
Sheik:(with a stupid grin on his face)Ganon and I have been planning this all year!(giggle)Ganon you tell them!
Ganon:(with the same stupid grin)WE'RE GOING CAMPING TOMMORROW!!!!!
Sheik and Ganon:YEAH DUDE!!(They attempt a chest slam but Ganon falls backwards and falls into the kitchen window,he crashes through it and lands outside with a big crash.And Sheik falls into the -you guessed it-the kitchen table and it crashes into little pieces.)
Everyone:............................................
Malon and Zelda:.............WHAT!!!!!!!!
Zelda:Like,I can't with all of those smelly bugs and those drunken redeads!!!(points to window)
Redead:(looking in from the broken window)(holding beer bottle)Hey baby!
Malon:WE CAN'T GO CAMPING WE CAN'T!!!!!!!!
Link:HA HA!!!!!Too bad!!!!Awwwwwwww you might get your shoes wet!HA HA HA- Wait!I MIGHT GET MY SHOES WET!!!!!!(faints)
DUH DUH DUH
(end of chapter 6)
_______________________________________________________________________
~Authors Note~
Ha Ha!And you thought you escaped me!Next chapter is the camping chapter,but there is a chapter coming up where Ruto show's all the dirt she video taped.So in your review or email me (kawaiigamergirl@yahoo.com) include what you would like to be revealed.Thank you!!!!^_^
-Pokegirl
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Welcome,Welcome to another dramatic episode of Days in Sunnyville Hyrule.Chapter Six!Review and enjoy!^_^
_______________________________________________________________________
(It's 10:00AM and everyone has forgoton yesterdays depressing day,except Nabooru,who buried her car remains in the backyard by some of Malon's man eating plants.)
Nabooru:(sobbing)I had this car ever since I was 10 and not old enough to drive.The hyrule police always were crushed by it.(sobs some more)
That same freaky tomato plant:(makes some weird noises that sound like "There there." and pats Nabooru's shoulder)
(Besides that everything is like normal except for Saria who's walking around nervously for some reason.Link and Ganon are playing Zelda Ocarina of Time on their new Nintendo 64)
(They turn it on and sit on the floor looking at the TV all excited.)
Link:Wow it's alive!
Ganon:(excited giggle)
Link:Look!That's me on the title screen!I'm riding a horse!Cool.
Ganon:What do we do now?
("Press Start" is flashing on the screen in big bold yellow letters as the Link on the screen points to it impatiently)
Link:I don't know......Let's just mash buttons like those weird people at "Nintendo" do.
Ganon:CAN DO!(smashes the controler and luckly hits start)
Link:Cool!Now we have to put in our name.
Ganon:(thinking hard)Maybe we should use Ganon and Link.
Link:AWESOME DUDE! (headbutts with Ganon)
Ganon:(Acting insane from the headbutt.)Messed up head my feels.
Link:Dude...Whoa totally oranges whoa.........
Ganon:(punches in Gink and Lanon)
Link:Awesome dude.
Ganon:Now we can start.
(They watch the intro)
Ganon:Cool I can ride a horse too!And it's black!
Link:And so can Impa!
Ganon:Look!It's you before you got handsome!I'm kicking your butt!GO LANONDORF!!!!WOOOO!!!
(The game starts)
Ganon:Wow you had it hard before you went through puberty.
Link:(irritated)Alright,Ganon.Quit while your ahead.....
(They keep playing until they hear......)
Sheik:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CUCCOO EGG!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Ganon and Nabooru run in the kitchen with Link following them boredly.)
(Sheik points to another batch off eggs with fear)
Nabooru:(with her STILL pink hair hidden under a bandana)Let's get this over with.
(They look at the eggs.)
Ganon:Look!There's a green egg with Malon's face on it.
Sheik:(worried)What does that mean..................
Ganon:She will accidently get pregnate.
Sheik:(nervous whimper)
Ganon:And Sheik you have a red egg.
Nabooru:Which means you will be humilated.
Sheik:(shivers nervously)
Ganon:And Saria has and orange egg which means she'll have misrable time.
Nabooru:Duh!
(They all laugh.)
(Impa and Saria walk in dressed in black (well, Impa is always dressed in black but Saria is wearing a black version of what she usually wears)
Impa:ATTENTION PLEASE!!EVERYONE REPORT TO THE KITCHEN FOR A MEETING!!!!!
(They all walk in to kitchen boredly)
(Malon is the last one coming in and is covered with soil from gardening.)
Malon:Would someone want some of this nice cake I made this morning?
Sheik:ME!(Runs up to the cake and starts inhaling it)
Malon:(giggle)^_^I'll pour you some LonLon milk.
Impa:Please pay attention!Saria has something to say!
Everyone but Impaand Saria:(groan)
Saria:(upset)T-today is is ...................M-m-m-m-
Impa:Mido's funeral.
Saria:Yes.(starts sobbing)
Link:So?
Impa:And you're all coming!
Everyone but Impa and Saria:(groan)
Ganon:But we were going to get Nabooru a new car.
Impa:It'll have to wait.YOU'RE ALL COMING AND YOU'RE WEARING BLACK.
Zelda:Sure.(winks)I look good in everything I wear.
Link:AMEN!
Malon:OH OH!Zelda I have perfect matching black dresses!
Zelda:I'll take any excuse to show off cute clothes.
(Malon and Zelda run upstairs excited.)
Saria:Why aren't you sad.
Nabooru:Aha!I have the perfect black pants.And I inflated them this morning.I had a feeling I'd need them!(runs upstairs as excited as Malon and Zelda)
Saria:What is everyone's problem!
(They all get dressed and they go to Impa's van.)
(Nabooru is wearing the same thing she always wears only in black.Link is wearing a black tunic.Malon and Zelda are wearing matching black dresses.Sheik and Ganon are wearing matching suits.)
Sheik:We are so cool.
Link:We look like the Adam's family.
(A severed hand randomly falls in the driveway.)
Some weird dude driving by in a red truck:Sorry!(waves his bloody arm and grins)
Zelda:Yuck.
Malon:Why did I eat all of those self-destructing grapes.....
Impa:Wheres Ruto?
(Ruto runs out in a sparkly black dress holding her camera.)
Ruto:Sorry!(ditzy giggle)I was getting my camera ready!(goes in Impa's van and bonks her head on the ceiling as she enters)
(Zelda and Malon look at Ruto's dress enviously.)
Zelda:(whispering to Malon)She's such an idiot and she manages to always dress herself better than us.
Malon:(nods angerly)
Ruto:(giggles)Thanks!(zooms in with camera)Maybe it's because I don't dress like I need to rip off my clothes any second.(grins)
Malon:(angry gasp)
Impa:Those dresses are kind of low cut for a funeral......
Zelda:Why are you talking?Look what you always wear.
Impa:Oh.
Malon:At least we're pretty.(glares angerly at Ruto)
Ruto:Did you know one time I stuck a penny up my uncles nose.My dad said he went on a very long vacation.I never saw him again but every year he sends a hate letter to me.Such a sweet man.
Nabooru:I did the same thing to my grandma once.
Ruto:(snorts)
Link:(to Ganon and Sheik)Women are so weird.
Sheik:Yeah.(starts slamming Ganon with a tennis racket over the head for no apparent reason.)
Ganon:Awesome dude...........(collapes on the van's floor knocked out)
Impa:We better get going!
(The van starts and they drive to the funeral home.)
(It's the same priest doing the funeral that married Link and Zelda.)
Priest:Hello everyone the funeral will start in 4 hours.
Everyone but the priest,Impa,and Saria:WHAT!
Funeral Director:(popping up all of a sudden)We need your help for us to prepare and to cry on each other's shoulders in these tough times-
Ganon:BORING!NABOORU CAN WE GO HOME YET?
Nabooru:Sorry Ganny Wanny but the Sheikah lady will pound us if we don't stay.
Sheik:Where are we having the reseption?
FD:In our reseption room downstairs.
Sheik:Is the food there yet?
FD:Yes,but it's about celebrating the life of Mido-
Sheik:(has already ran down there)
Malon:(giggles)Isn't he adorable?(follows him)
Link:Hey Zelda,do you want to go makeout in the parking lot?
Zelda:(winks at Link)
(They walk outside.)
Ganon:HEY NABOORU THERE'S A PARK ACROSS THE STREET!!!PUSH ME ON THE SWING!!!(Runs off)
Nabooru:(sigh)(follows him)
Impa:At least we still have Ruto to help.Even though she'll proubley cause harvoc.
Saria:She's gone!
Impa:She left a note.
My Dear Friends,
I went to the dry cleaners to pour some gravy on the machines there!Fun Fun Fun!You need to try it sometime!I'll try to be back before,what's name?Oh!Minden's funeral starts.
Thankies ^_^ -
Princess Ruto of the Zora
Impa:Great,just great.
Ruto:(hiding behind some door with her camera ready for action)Perfect time to get some dirt.(giggle)
Impa:Excuse me,Mr.funeral director,But how do you "prepare" for a funeral.
FD:We need to set up the c-a-s-k-e-t (looks at Saria who obviously can't spell).You know put f-l-o-w-e-r-s on t-o-p of it and set it up.
Impa:Oh. (thinking)*Man,I'm sure glad he spelled out the word "top"!* (shudders)
FD:(looks nervously at Saria who gives them an "I'm such a sweet and naive child.Don't corupt me with hate." look.)
(Of course they don't know that Saria is a close friend of Kirby and carries a spare knife at all times.)
Impa:Saria,why don't you go downstairs and see how Malon and Sheik are doing.If you see any large bottles with lots of X's then run.
Saria:(nods and runs downstairs)
FD:Now if you don't mind I need to get my self pumped up for another funeral-
Ganon:(from across the street)(sounds like he's high on sugar)DID SOMEONE SAY PUMPED UP!!!!!!!(you hear a slamming sound)
Nabooru:Oh no Ganon!You broke another swing set.These swings are made for children not-
Ganon:NABOORU!!!!NABOORU!!!!!!I FOUND ANOTHER SWING SET THAT I DIDN'T WRECK YET!!!!PUSH ME!!!NABOORU!!!PUSH ME!!!!
(They look out the window to see Ganon hyperactively swinging really high and fast as he screams "LOOK OUT WORLD I'M APPLESAUSE MAN!!!!!All the passerbys are giving Nabooru weird looks as she covers her face with her hands.)
(They close the curtains.)
FD:Like I said I need to get my self p-u-m-p-e-d u-p for another funeral.
Impa:(freaked out)How do you do that?
FD:THE CAN-CAN!
Impa:I'll be going downstairs now.........
_______________________________________________________________________
(In the reseption room)
(Impa enters to see Sheik rapidly stuffing his face as Malon sits watching him grinning as Saria bangs her head on the wall.)
Impa:Er.......Hi.
Malon:Look what I found!(Malon shows Impa another strange plant like those in her garden.)I'm going to try to set it up with my tomato plant.They'd make a nice couple.I could plant it right by the Cuccoo pen!
Impa:(smiles fakely and nods)
Malon:And that's not the only good part!It vomits purple flem.See?(The plant starts pucking on Impa's shoe and her shoe turns green)
Impa:Maybe I should go outside....(walks out)
_______________________________________________________________________
(Impa walks outside and walks across the street ending up in the park.)
Ganon:(is jumping up and down on the see-saw)
Nabooru:Ganny!No!You can't jump on a see-saw like-
(Ganon keeps jumping and the see-saw hits him in the face and he flies across half of the park landing in a sandbox.)
Nabooru:that..........................
(They walk over to Ganon who is still face down in the sand.)
Nabooru:Ganny?
Ganon:(jumps up all of a sudden almost giving Impa and Nabooru a heart attack)(in his usual loud anoing voice)NABOORU!!!I FLEW!!!!WOOOOOOO!!!!I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!!!!NABOORU YOU HAVE TO TRY IT!!!IT GIVES YOU A RUSH !!!!
Nabooru:(freaked out)I think you are getting a little too "pumped up"-
Ganon:YEAH!!!!!I'M PUMPED UP !!!!!!!
Impa:(not saying anything just stares at Ganon freaked out)
Nabooru:(in a sweet fake voice)Let's go back to the funeral home Ganny dear.If you come with me I promise you can do all the "Mega Flips" and "Wooooo's" you desire.
Ganon:YEAH!!!!PUMPED UP!!!!(runs hyperactivly back to the funeral home yelling "MOTERCYCLE DUSTER!!!!")
Impa:(shocked)Why did you tell him that?
Nabooru:It's their game now.They should have enough money to pay for the broken pottery.After overpricing a corpse box that you just bury underground anyway!
Impa:They call them coffens.
Nabooru:Whatever,let's just go back inside.
_______________________________________________________________________
(back inside the funeral home)
(1:00)
(you hear crashing sounds and Ganon yelling "I ATE SAND AND IT TASTES LIKE CHINESE FOOD!!!!WOOOOO!!!" in the background )
(Everyone is sitting in the funeral area just talking while Saria,Impa,and the Funeral Director do all the work.)
Malon:Nabooru,did I show you my new plant.
Nabooru:(freaked out)...........
Malon:Don't be afraid.OH FOR DIN'S FIRE!!!!!
(The plant ripped up Nabooru's bandana that she was hidding her hair under and then it started vomiting it's flem on her hair.)
(Nabooru's hair stays pink for a second and then it turns all of the colors of the rainbow.Any color you could think of is on her head.)
Nabooru:(opens her hair tie and then sees it and screams)
(Everyone runs to her.)
Ganon:(excited)NEATO!!!!!!SKITTLES!!!!!!
Sheik:(to himself)What does the rainbow taste like.....
Link:Totally Funky,man.Flower childen yeah!(insert insane display of a peace sign)
Zelda:Maybe it'll come out this time......heh.....Who knows...
(Nabooru looks like she might explode.)
Malon:Don't worry it's not poisonous or anything.See I'll eat some.(Eats some purple flem and just sits there for a second then falls to the ground gasping for air.)
Ganon:(high fives Sheik)AWESOME DUDE!!!!YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MISS THE FUNERAL!!!!!
Sheik:YEAH!!!!!!
Malon:(rolling on the floor)....choking.....still choking...can't breath.....
Sheik:(picks up Malon and starts leaving)
Impa:OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!The flem from that plant just causes insane and humilating side effects.Nothing life threating.Only mental and emotional pain.
Sheik:I DON'T CARE!!!!(jumps out of the window and you hear driving sounds)
Impa:Did he just take my van................
Link:(shrugs and starts digging in to a piece of pie that he got from downstairs)
Nabooru:Where did Ganon go?
Impa:Here's another note...Nabooru you'll have to help me I can't read his writing.
Hi everyone : ) !!!!!
I went somewhere to do something for someone and I'll be back sometime!!!: ) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!I like pens!!!!!!!!!!!!!Stay PUMPED UP!!!
Airplanes!!!!Woooooooooo!!!!- Ganon
Everyone:............................................................
(Ruto jumps in the room freaking everyone out.)
Ruto:HI!!!!!!!!!DID EVERYONE MISS ME?
Impa:And I thought it would be quiet for awhile......
Ruto:I'M READY TO FLIM THE CORPSE'S FUNERAL!!!!
Saria:(breaks out into loud sobs when Ruto says "corpse" )
Zelda:We're going to have to tape her mouth shut so she stays quiet.I need to balance my checkbook.
Link:And I need to go through this walkthrough guide so I figure out how to get past spider lady!
Nabooru:(gets tape out of nowhere and tightly tapes Saria's mouth shut and then ties her to the chair)
Zelda:Lovely touch.
Nabooru:Thank you.
_______________________________________________________________________
(2:00)
(everyone is getting in their seats for the funeral)
(Actually the only people that came where Kirby,looking ready to show off his cuteness,Mario,looking extremely depressed just looks at the floor,and the one and only Pokegirl,looking ready to make plot holes and freak people out.)
(The chairs turn into grape chairs.)
Pokegirl:HA HA!!!!!!!
Nabooru:We're doomed.
Ruto:I LIKE SEAWEED!!!!!
Priest:Everyone take your seat the funeral is about to begin.
Mario:Does anyone love me?
Priest:No.
Mario:Oh...........
(they all sit down)
(they wheel the casket in front of the room)
(Everyone looks bored except for Saria who screams and cries muffled screams and cries.)
(Ruto seems to be zooming in and out rapidly on the priest's head with her camera.)
Priest:We are gathered here today to celebrate the short but blessed life of Mido-Hey why do all of the last names get smugged!THEY ALWAYS GIVE ME THE CHEAP STUFF ITS ALWAYS RICK THEY GIVE THE NICE STUFF TO!!!!(points to a random dude in the doorway he laughs evily and jumps out of the window)
Everyone:@.@...........................
Priest:(talking again in the calm priestly tone)Mido was a sweet young boy his past times included running from giant wild animals and getting chased by horses.He loved spending time with his girlfriend Saria-DAMN THE SMUGGES!!!!!(cough)Anyway(keeps on droning like that)
(he keeps going on for thirty minutes like that and then-)
(Ganon all of a sudden jumped through the window which was closed and scattered glass shards all over and accidently lands on the casket which then opens dumping Mido's skeleton on the floor slamming against a chair causing a chain reation of the chairs colasping like dominios.)
(Everyone fell on their butt,but where for one time in a million years glad that Ganon crashed through a window hyperactivly.)
(Saria starts screaming when she sees Mido's skeleton on the floor.)
Ganon:NABOORU!!!!NABOORU!!!!I HAVE A SUPRIZE FOR YOU!!!!COME OUTSIDE EVERYONE!!!!!
(they all walk outside to see a brand new shiny truck with a ribbion on it.It was bright puck orange but I guess Nabooru liked it because she started crying and hugged Ganon)
Nabooru:It's so beautiful!!!!Ganondorf Dragmire you are the sweetest man to walk this earth.
Ganon:(is glowing)
(No really Ganon you are really glowing.Not as in happy but as in-)
Ganon:AAAHHHHHHHHHHH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(jumps into a random pond)
(Ganon walks out of the pond grinning and soaked with mud)
Nabooru:ATTENTION EVERYONE I'M DRIVING YOU GUYS ALL HOME!!!!!ZELDA SITS UP FRONT WITH ME EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BACK!!!!
(Nabooru and Zelda go in the truck and everyone else climbs in the back)
Zelda:Ha Ha!!!!!
Nabooru:You guys better hold on tight I can be a reckless driver.
Everyone but Zelda and Nabooru:(freaked out)..............
(They finally made it home all in one piece(kind of),of course they made a big scene with the screaming of "the load" but oh well.)
Zelda:Awesome truck!
Nabooru:Yeah it rocks!(A pile of rocks randomly fall in the street.)
Link:Wow,that was random.
(They all go inside)
_______________________________________________________________________
(inside the house)
(3:00)
(They enter to see Sheik and Malon sitting quietly in the living room.)
Malon:They're is something we need to tell you.
(Sheik grabs Malon's hands.)
Malon:I am
I
I have fish eggs in my stomach!They were in the flem!
Everyone but Sheik and Malon:..................................
Malon:The doctor said that I will eventually sneeze them all up.
Sheik:(relieved)That's what the Cuccoo egg ment!But I don't know about me being humilated.Hasn't happend yet!
(Sheik suddenly trips on a jar of pickles and falls yet again out of the window and his clothes rip on the window sill.Then he rolls around in the front yard in nothing but his boxer shorts.)
People Passing By:HA HA!!!!!
Sheik:Why did I open my big mouth.......(sobs in humilation)
Ganon:HA HA!!!!!
Link:Hey!It's actually funny when it doesn't happend to you!It would be even funnier if a Cuccoo would come and rip his boxer shorts off!
(Thanks for the suggestion Link!)
(A cuccoo comes and rips off Sheik's blue and pink heart boxer shorts.)
Sheik:Too much humilation!Can't take it!Banannas are yellow and green......(faints)
Ganon:Should we help him now?
Malon and all of the female readers:NO!!!!!LEAVE HIM THERE!!!!!!
(Then all of a sudden they hear a comotion a couple blocks up the road.)
(So they all randomly walk there,leaving Sheik laying there.)
(They all give each other shocked looks as they look at what used to be a giant gap is now a host of a giant school.)
Everyone:......................................POKEGIRL!!!!!
Pokegirl:(randomly popped up)HI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda:What in Nayru's earring is going on here?
Pokegirl:What you see before you is a school!It used to be my school but I teleported it here!This school will become your town's school!
Everyone but Pokegirl:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Pokegirl:A HA HAHA HAAHA AHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Everyone but Pokegirl:@.@()
Pokegirl:I already emptyed out everyone.........Wait!!!!Someone's coming out!!!!
(It's my friend,Shawn and my science teacher.)
( My science teacher looks extremly misrable and even more when he see's Pokegirl.)
My Science Teacher:No.........Let the pain end....
Pokegirl:HI!!!!!
Shawn:I am yogurt!!!!!!!!
Pokegirl:AWESOME!!!(They slap hands.)
MST:Please end it now.......................
(Pokegirl snaps her fingers and they disappear.)
Pokegirl:School starts on August 23rd I will be taking applications for jobs.I'm the principal but if you want a job please go to my vice principal.(Starts opening the fluffy pink backpack she was wearing and in the backpack was
it
was
KIRBY IN A BROWN SUIT WITH AN ADORABLE TIE(looking cute as usual)
Pokegirl:He's the vice principal!Take all applications to him.
(Kirby makes an evil grin and makes a punching motion with his hands.)
Pokegirl,Zelda and Malon:Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
Pokegirl:Well that's all really.(starts to go in)
Nabooru:What happend to Mario?
Pokegirl:Who?
(The scene flashes to show Mario preparing a rope to hang himself with.All of a sudden Mario is bombed with jelly.Mario looks around inspiered.)
Mario:Jelly!That's it I have a purpose in life!!!!TO CREATE PERFECT JELLY WOOOOOOOO!!!
(The scene flashes back.)
Pokegirl:Bye!(walks into the school with Kirby on her back.)
_______________________________________________________________________
(They all go home like nothing happend.)
(Ganon and Sheik call a meeting in the kitchen.)
Sheik:(with a stupid grin on his face)Ganon and I have been planning this all year!(giggle)Ganon you tell them!
Ganon:(with the same stupid grin)WE'RE GOING CAMPING TOMMORROW!!!!!
Sheik and Ganon:YEAH DUDE!!(They attempt a chest slam but Ganon falls backwards and falls into the kitchen window,he crashes through it and lands outside with a big crash.And Sheik falls into the -you guessed it-the kitchen table and it crashes into little pieces.)
Everyone:............................................
Malon and Zelda:.............WHAT!!!!!!!!
Zelda:Like,I can't with all of those smelly bugs and those drunken redeads!!!(points to window)
Redead:(looking in from the broken window)(holding beer bottle)Hey baby!
Malon:WE CAN'T GO CAMPING WE CAN'T!!!!!!!!
Link:HA HA!!!!!Too bad!!!!Awwwwwwww you might get your shoes wet!HA HA HA- Wait!I MIGHT GET MY SHOES WET!!!!!!(faints)
DUH DUH DUH
(end of chapter 6)
_______________________________________________________________________
~Authors Note~
Ha Ha!And you thought you escaped me!Next chapter is the camping chapter,but there is a chapter coming up where Ruto show's all the dirt she video taped.So in your review or email me (kawaiigamergirl@yahoo.com) include what you would like to be revealed.Thank you!!!!^_^
-Pokegirl
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
