Title: Ivy vs Grace 938

Authors: Ivy Crane and my best friend Beth

A/N: Thanks to those of you who reviewed! I did not write this one alone my best friend wrote half of it. Thanks Beth! This is my last chapter about Ivy/Sam/Grace/David!

~Bennett Kitchen~

Grace: You're trying to steal my husband away from me.

Ivy: What are you talking about, Grace?

Grace: Oh, don't even try to deny it, Ivy. I know you're trying to steal my husband away. I saw the way you were looking at him.

Ivy: You're delusional, woman.

Grace: What did you just say?

Ivy: I said you are delusional.

Grace: No, after that.

Ivy: You're delusional, woman? (raises her eyebrow in confusion and annoyance at Grace)

Grace: What makes you think I'm a woman?

Ivy: Um, you have three kids, almost four, with Sam, and one with David.

Grace: What makes you think they're men?

Ivy: I can vouch for Sam, but I don't know about David. Ewwwwwwwwww!

Ivy: Wait a minute, are you telling you are a man? But you're not supposed to lie, you're Saint Grace of Harmony.

Grace: I didn't lie, no one ever asked.

Ivy: But what about Faith? I thought you were twins?

Grace: We were, just not identical twins. I made myself look like Faith.

Ivy: (looks at Grace in horror and backs up in her wheelchair) You mean you're a transvestite?

Grace: Yep.

Ivy: Do David and Sam know about this!

Grace: Obviously not.

Ivy: Wait a minute, how on earth did you get pregnant with John, Noah, Kay, Jessica, and Jack?

Grace: If you go to Sweden you can get the whole deal. They've got great rates. You should try it some time; I'm always looking for a new husband. You know what they say; third time's the charm.

Ivy: Wait a minute, then you'd have to know the truth about David and me.

Grace: Yeah, that's right, but Sam was starting to suspect me. Besides, he was getting old.

Ivy: Oh. My. God. I have to go. Bake some cookies. No, wait, I nearly burned down the mansion last time I did that. I know, I'll go call my girls, I haven't talked to them in a week. Got to go, Grace. (Ivy turns her wheelchair around and burns rubber. Grace just stands there, lost in thought, which looks pretty dangerous.)

Grace: (to herself) Oh my God, Ivy knows I'm a transvestite! Now she'll tell Sam and David! And my children! Oh my God, she has to die! (She looks at the monstrosity she calls Tomato Soup Cake and raises her eyebrow and smirks.)

Sam's Room

(Ivy is talking on the phone to her youngest daughter when Grace comes in with some Tomato Soup Cake)

Ivy: (on the phone) Ok, sweetie, I have to go now. Bye. (To Grace) What are you doing up here, Grace?

Grace: Oh, I just wanted to bring up some Tomato Soup Cake for you.

Ivy: (sarcastic) Oh, thank you, Grace. Once she leaves I'll just throw it out the window.

Grace: (missing the sarcasm) You're welcome. It's my new recipe. (Smirks evilly out of Ivy's eyesight)

Ivy: Oh, Grace, it's still frozen. What a shame. Thank God for miracles!

Grace: Oh, that's just too bad. Oh well. (Raises the cake above her head) Say hi to Hitler for me! (Hits Ivy on the head. Knocking her out and making her slump down in her chair.) Oh! Dear me! (Puts hand to her mouth.) I forgot to cut it. Oh well. (Smiles evilly. Sees the blood seeping through Ivy's hair.) I always thought you would look good as a red head. Now what to do with the body. I could throw it out of the window. No, then it would look like murder. Cut her up and put her in my Tomato Soup Cake. Nah, then she'd be missing and they'd start an investigation. Sam would suspect me. I got it! I'll push you down the stairs! Disable your brakes so it looks like an accident.

Ivy: (Moans and moves around.) Where am I?

Grace: You're about to go on a little trip my dear.

Ivy: Trip?

Grace: Down the stairs! (Starts laughing this maniacal laugh) Down the hatch you go! (Pushes Ivy down the stairs.) Ta Ta Ivy dear. (Walks out of the door laughing and heads over to the B&B thinking that her secret is safe.)

~Tabby's house~

Timmy: What's a transvestite?

Tabitha: You don't want to know!

Zombie: I'll tell you Timmy. Come over here. (Timmy walks over and she starts whispering something in his ear.)

Timmy: (His eyes widen in surprise.) Ewww!

Tabitha: Nasty isn't it Lad?

Zombie: I always thought that there was something weird about that girl.

Hecuba: You've known her since she was a little girl err… boy. Why didn't you tell us.

Tabitha: Well I guess he… she… Grace always acted like a girl.

Scroll: Ahem! Would you rather continue talking about her social life or finish watching?

Zombie: Let's talk more.

Scroll: I knew you wanted to keep watching!

~Bennett House~

Sam: (Walking in through the door.) Ivy! I'm home! Ivy? (Walks over to the stairs. Where he sees Ivy lying on the floor with the wheelchair on her legs.) Ivy! My god! Are you okay?

Ivy: Sam?

Sam: Ivy!

Sam: Stay right there! Let me go call an ambulance!

Ivy: I'm paralyzed! Where do you think I'll go?

Sam: Oh yea! I forgot about that!

Ivy: Well I didn't! You dropped off of the side of the lighthouse!

Sam: You were really slippery!

Ivy: Then you left me to go check on your wife and I flat-lined in the ambulance!

Sam: She was my wife.

Ivy: Whose arms did you find her in?

Sam: David's.

Ivy: Whose arms do you think she's in now?

Sam: David's

Ivy: And… (She falls unconscious.)

Sam: Oh! Thank god! (The paramedics arrive and go to work.)

~Hospital~

Sam: How is she Eve? Is she going to make it?

Eve: (Opens her mouth to speak but it cut off by Sam.)

Sam: I knew it! It's bad isn't it?

Eve: Sam! Let me talk. She'll be fine. In fact she'll better than fine.

Sam: What do you mean?

Eve: Well that fall down the stairs has actually done more good than bad. (Seeing the blank expression on his face she elaborates.) She's un-paralyzed.

Sam: But how? Why?

Eve: (Holds up a hand to stop his babbling.) See for your self. Ivy!

Ivy: (Walks shakily through the door.) You called Eve?

Sam: Ivy! You can walk!

Eve: Now. Now Sam. Ivy needs her rest.

~Ivy's Hospital Room 20 minutes later~

Sam: So how are you doing?

Ivy: I've been better.

Sam: Well at least now you can't lose control of your wheelchair.

Ivy: Lose control? I didn't lose control. Grace pushed me. Right after she hit me in the head with one of her frozen Tomato Soup Cakes.

Sam: Now why would she do a thing like that?

Ivy: She did it because she told me her deepest darkest secret.

Sam: (Raises an eyebrow) And that would be?

Ivy: That she's a transvestite!

Sam: (Sam starts laughing uncontrollably.) She's had amnesia for over twenty years. I met her the night she got it and she wasn't a man then. Even if she were she wouldn't be able to remember it.

Ivy: She never had amnesia. She told me herself.

Sam: I think you hit your head a little harder than you thought.

Ivy: But…

Sam: You need your rest I'll be in the cafeteria getting some lunch.

Grace: (Sitting in a waiting room chair waited until she heard Sam leave the room and head to the cafeteria.) Tell anyone about me will you Ivy? You'll get just what you deserve. (Walks into Ivy's hospital room. Sees her sleeping on the bed. Turns off the light.) Oh. How sweet. Getting your beauty sleep are you? Time to wake up and then I'll let you sleep for a long time.

Ivy: Sam? Is that you? I can't see anything. Can you turn the light on? (Grace turns on the light and smirks her evil smirk.) You!

Grace: Me.

Ivy: What are you doing here?

Grace: Why I came to see a dear old friend of mine. When I heard you slip that little secret of mine. I warned you Ivy. I thought the little push down the steps would make you see things more clearly. I guess I was wrong.

Ivy: But no one believes me.

Grace: True. Not yet anyways. But knowing him he won't let anything go this easily. Why I remember one are trash got knocked over and…

Ivy: I get the picture. So what are you going to do to me?

Grace: Kill you. What else?

Ivy: Then it'll look like murder.

Grace: Really? (Holds her chin in thought.) I know! I'll smother you with the pillow and make it look like you rolled over in your sleep.

Ivy: No thanks. (Gets out of the bed and runs down the hall toward the doors.)

Grace: I thought she was paralyzed. (Runs after her firing shots from a gun at her. Ivy runs outside and sees the SWAT team. So apparently does Grace because she turns around and runs the other way right into Sam.)

Sam: We've been looking everywhere for you Martin.

Ivy: Martin? You mean Martin Fitzgerald?

Swat Captain: That's right. (Grabs Grace err… Martin by the arm and drags her into custody.)

Ivy: How can that be?

Sam: Well I found Grace around the same time Martin disappeared.

Ivy: I get the time frame. How did you know it was him?

Sam: Well I decided to humor you and look at all of the places where they do those kind of operations and lo and behold I found that a man named Martin Fitzgerald had come in like that and out as Grace Standish.

Ivy: So there really was no Grace Standish?

Sam: I never said there wasn't apparently Martin was involved in a major drug ring in Boston. One night while he was selling he saw a girl named Grace walking the streets apparently she had just run away from home. So it was easy to kill her and steal her identity.

Ivy: We need to call Pilar.

Sam: The whole Lopez-Fitzgerald bunch is at the hospital except for Theresa.

Ivy: We should call her too.

Sam: I thought you didn't like Theresa?

Ivy: I didn't but knowing how in Harmony nothing is as it seems how am I supposed to be sure that she sent the tabloid?

A/N: This triangle is finally over! The next one is Fox/Gwen/Theresa/Ethan. Please vote for that one next. It won't take as long as this one did to finish. I just had some minor conflicts but I'm back on track now!