*Author's Notes* Oh crap! That was the longest pause EVER! But lets not dwell on that *nervous giggle*. Think of the good news: IM BACK! MUAHAHAH! So this is my last day of Christmas vacation and I said to myself "Self," I said "You better do something awe-inspiring and productive in your last day! Hell you've been doing nothing but lounging around pointlessly for the past two weeks". So that's how I decided to continue this chapter. It's sad to think that I actually started this chapter over 7 months ago!! But I didn't think to finish it till today. It's not as long as the others (*sorry*) cause I just want to post ANYTHING today. So yeah.enjoy (if you can)

(Just for the record: this entire first section was written by one of the most amazing authors on fanfiction.net. He is Vick330 and his story 'your thousand seas' is one of the best fics so if you haven't read it .look it up! Anyway, he emailed me a while ago (A LONG while ago) with a 3-page note full of, not only suggestions, but also an entire section written as an example of what he meant. This 'example' as he called it, turned out to be an incredibly well written and insightful addition to my fic. So I've decided to add it to my story. Thank you soo much!)

~*Chapter 10*~

Tonight and the Rest of my Life

*Things always look better when you can't see them* -Woody Allen

There are those moments in life when you bet all on one number, or on one roll of the dice, and you lose... everything.

In those moments people either freeze, and are unable to think, or the total opposite happens, bringing things into crystal-clear clarity. Quistis Trepe was experiencing the latter.

She suddenly understood that she had been wrong in her approach since the very beginning, and that now she was simply harvesting what she had sowed.

(AN: see! I could never come up with this!)

She had tried to get Squall to notice her, but always in an indirect manner, hoping that he would realize all she had to offer. She had always dreamt that he would come to her, declare his love for her, care for her...

Even when she had been with him in the 'secret area' she had tried to have his sympathy, counting on his need to act as the strong one and comfort her. Quistis realized that all her actions had for sole purpose to get his attention, and make him see how desirable she was. And now even that might backfire, promiscuity was frowned upon in the rigid structure of Garden, and her position as an instructor might be -or already was- jeopardized. She was a hero, but if Cid wanted her ousted for her behavior it would happen - the Headmaster wasn't known to be lenient with those who blatantly defied Garden's rules.

She had already lost Squall -no, she had never owned him anyway- what she had lost was her chance at happiness, and now she stood to lose her career too. All... she had sacrificed all in the hopes that the man she loved would reciprocate her feelings. It would never happen, her beautiful dream would never materialize, his touch would never soothe her, his lips would never take her breath away...

Now... Rinoa.

Rinoa had been direct and honest with her feelings for Squall, telling him exactly what her hopes and dreams were, and what she wanted from him. Where Quistis had lightly tapped on the walls the Commander had built around himself, Rinoa had pounded with fierce determination - at the risk of being rejected and hurt. Was it why she herself had never taken a straightforward approach? For fear of rejection? Would things have been different if, instead of sending veiled messages to Squall, she had uttered the words she just had a long time ago?

'I love you...' - three simple words, and yet so hard to say...

Suddenly, two strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her up. She managed to get her feet under her, and then she was dragged -gently but firmly- in a secluded part of the Quad. Still in shock, she didn't have enough of her wits about her to react. For a moment, her heart hoped that Squall had changed his mind, but it wasn't him. She looked up to two sea- green eyes, set on a face where a mixture of annoyance and -surprisingly- concern could be read.

*(k. That's the end of Vicks written part. It's good eh?.. This is me from now on.. Sorry!)*

She squinted stupidly at her aggressor, desperately trying to match his fuzzy frame with the identities in her head, but coming up empty. Her vision and senses were so clouded over with alcohol and hurt that she probably wouldn't have been able to distinguish the difference between a human and a Behemoth if presented with the opportunity. What right did.whoever this was have to interrupt her grieving?

"Geoff meee." She slurred angrily at whomever was holding her, struggling weakly to free herself from his tight grip on her shoulders, but to no avail. He was stronger, taller and (not to mention) sober. He was also.oddly familiar.

Very familiar in fact.

The instructor's blues eyes grew wide in fear as recognition hit her.

*No.it couldn't be* she thought as she yet again forced herself to look into his eyes. Those green eyes that she had spent many years glaring at when scolding him for not paying attention. And that famous smug smirk that had taunted her since she was a little girl.

It was him.It was HE.it was the sorceress' lapdog as he was most commonly referred to by Squall and the other orphanage gang members. And here he was, 'coincidentally' appearing at the most humiliating moment in her life.

But why was he here?

How did he get in?

What's he going to do?

"Seifer.?" she asked, as if just to make sure she wasn't having some really weird daydream.

The figure paused for as second, almost as if he were considering his identity, then managed a curt nod, his gaze never wavering from her for a second.

They stayed like this for what must have been at least a few minutes. Just staring. Each trying to determine what to do with the other.

Quistis pondered her options. They were pretty much alone. If she yelled would anyone hear her? If she ran would she make it two steps before he caught her? Fighting wasn't even an option due to her current state and the fact that she had no weapon. If he wanted her dead she didn't stand a chance.what a horrible way to die. Just having been dismissed by the one you loved. You're life having been ruined with a few simple words.

Suddenly, they were pulled out of their staring contest as the loud complaining voices of some snobby politicians who had spilt their drinks on each other drifted their way. With this, Seifer sprung to action, muttering a faint "Follow me Instructor" before grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the exit.

In her mind, she tried to stop. She was begging herself to scream in protest and attract the attention of those near to come and save her. But then she had a revelation.

*Come to think of it.this was a perfect time to die.

It would end the pain.

It would end the troublesome thoughts.

It would finally end.

Thank Hyne it would all end.*

With this in mind, Quistis Trepe more than willingly followed Seifer Almasy, a known enemy, out of the ballroom and into the unknown.

~*~

Squall and Rinoa parted slowly from their embrace only to be instantly greeted by a series of yells and whoops from the students followed by scowling politicians and about a million camera flashes as the reporters' minds already conceived their top story headlines.

TIMBER MANIACS: SeeD anniversary ball turned into a teenage frat party by none other than the honored commander himself

ESTHAR TIMES: SeeD Scandal! (The commander's secret relationship with the sorceress Rinoa, enemy of SeeD, and a student of Garden! Turn to page 2 for more)

And finally.

BALAMB STUDENTS PAPER: Revelation of the month: Despite the immovable beliefs of the majority of the student body, Commander Squall Leonhart is neither a homosexual nor castrated as proven last night when.

Not that Squall was really worrying about all the trouble he was in at the moment. The fact that it wasn't only Cid who frowned upon his relationship with Rinoa did cause a little trepidation in his heart though. Not only did social laws put the odds against him in the case of a leader dating a student, but when the world learned that one of the most powerful men ever, with the strongest military power in his command was under the influence of a sorceress.well let's just say all hell would break loose.

Squall pulled his eyes away from the crowd to look at the woman in his arms, and as soon as he did all his worries melted away.

Hyne she was beautiful. With her simple yet elegant dress all twisted around the waist, her eyes half-closed as if savoring the moment and her lips slightly parted still wallowing in the glory of their heated embrace, she had the appearance of a perfectly normal yet flustered woman. She was so pure.so innocent. And in that moment, Squall made a promise to himself...or to her more specifically.

No matter what the future holds for them, whether it be war, blood, agony, horror or even death.he would never EVER leave her side. 'till death do us part.'

"Rinoa.?" he asked in a whisper as the cameras continued to snap, their bulbs flashed and the volume of chatter rose.

The woman and his arms seemed to be brought back down to earth at the sound of his voice. And her passionate, hooded eyes widened in surprise as if she only just then realized what was happening. "Oh Hyne Squall." she whispered in a tight voice as her eyes suddenly filled with unspent tears. Slowly and cautiously she raised her hands to his face, tending tracing his features with her fingers as if to prove to herself that this was, in fact, real. He smiled at her reaction and pulled her palm to his lips to reassure them with a soft kiss.

"You came." she said at last in such a small voice that only Squall, who was a few inches from her lips, could hear her. "I thought..I was so sure that.I can't believe.I love you so much". She already felt the warm tears began to slide down her face, yet she didn't care. In his arms nothing seemed to matter any more and least of all the public's opinion of her. Burying her face in his chest, Rinoa held onto him as tightly as she could, with every intention of never leaving the warmth and comfort that the simple act of having his arms around her brought.

But Squall, for some reason, was incredibly tense. She could feel it in the way his arms were stiff on her back reminding her much like when he first held her on the Ragnarok. He was nervous.VERY nervous. Then again who wouldn't be after the scene he just made in front of all the press. But there was something else.she knew. She didn't know how she knew but for some reason she could feel his emotions as if they were her own.and right now he was on the verge of collapsing in fear. Fear for what?.an answer? Yes an answer. His emotions were very precise.but then it only peaked her curiosity to know what was the question?

"Rinoa." he began once more, taking a large gulp of air. His breath was hot against her cheek making her almost dizzy in the delight of their closeness to one another. "I have something to ask you."

Reluctantly, she pulled away from him. Her tears had already dried yet they had left their mark and her skin was red and her eyes still shining yet, with all the courage she could muster, she looked deep into his azure eyes, now feeling a little worried after the shock of his appearance had worn off. He must have had some great reason as to why he so boldly ran in here. Could that reason possibly be.to say goodbye? Her stomach quickly plummeted at the thought.

"I have.to ask you something," he repeated, trembling with anticipating and fear making Rinoa all the more uncomfortable.

*He wouldn't do that* she thought to herself *There's no way he completely disregard Garden like that only to do what they wanted in the first place. Unless this whole thing was set up.in order for him to prove to the headmaster how much he DIDN'T need me.

No.Nobody's THAT cruel.not even Squall Leon-heartless as the majority of his peers calls him. He wouldn't. He truly wouldn't.

Would he?*

Squall couldn't help but notice the change in her emotions as well. He couldn't explain how he knew what she was thinking.but somehow he did. He felt happiness and passion at first.then angst.then apprehension.and now pure fear. Maybe he went about this whole thing the wrong way.

First, his actually showing up and then making a huge scene by kissing her. In the middle of the speeches too!

Perhaps, the proposal would be a little too much in one night. Rinoa had always been simple in her requests. He was now sure that maybe she'd prefer this to be a private moment. He sure as hell wouldn't mind getting away from all the babble and millions of questions that were being thrown at him from the audience members who were literally tripping over themselves in order to get closer to the couple for better shots. Quite carefully, so as not to alert suspicion, Squall casually put his hand inside his pocket and let the ring, which was tightly clasped in his fist, drop into it while scanning the area for an accessible escape root. What he saw almost made him burst out laughing.almost. Until he thought of what Selphie would do to him after she came back and noticed what he had done to her soo carefully planned party.

The once 'elegant' ballroom filled only minutes ago by all the most pristine and down to earth people in the entire world.now resembled a scene from a bad movie involving mental patients attempting to have a dinner party.

Tables were pushed over, their dishes and drinks all scattered on the floor forming what resembled as slippery sea of liquor mixed with jagged pieces of broken plates.

Most of the students, having had to contain their semi-drunken selves while waiting for the exhausting ceremony to end, had finally mutually decided to let loose. One, whom Squall recognized from an eighth year class, was now hanging on the chandelier having located a float spell to bring him up to the high ceiling. Others were hastily bringing out hidden kegs and dragging them out to the dance area.

Politicians and world leaders were either running for the exit, drying them selves off from having slipped into pools of champagne, or were wrenched in the throng of reporters who rushed to the stage, running over anyone who got in their way of getting the best picture of the mind boggling event.

*Selphie is going to kill me* was the only thought on his mind as he more desperately searched for an exit.

And then he also noticed the people seated on the stage, all whom were either nervously eyeing the crowd of people pushing with all their might to get closer against the strong arms of security or simply chatting with one another as if nothing surprising had happened at all. These people were warriors and genetic scientists. and therefore they had all witnessed some pretty strange things in their lifetimes. Something as shocking as Squall's act had not moved them in the least. Hell, most of them probably wouldn't have been surprised if they came across a couple of imps having a tea party.

Involuntarily, Squall's eyes focused on Laguna, the one man in the entire room who seemed to have a genuine solitary and calm air about him. Neither surprised nor fearful was his expression. He didn't wither under Squall's unwavering glare as they stared at each other. And for a few seconds time seemed to stop.or go in slow motion at least. And all the noise and people around them both became nothing more than shadows and soft murmuring.

Of course, when they first met, Squall couldn't help but notice the slight yet significant resemblance he had to the president of Esthar. But it had passed through his mind quickly and was soon forgotten. It has been a year since he last saw him face-to-face, and now, equipped with new knowledge, Squall couldn't help but yet again find the similarities and analyze them intently.

Every time he looked in the mirror he had tried to find some sign of his parents gazing out at him through the glass since he had discover what it meant to be an orphan. Once discovering their identities, it was easy to see what he had inherited through Raine.

His eyes, his hair, his insuppressible urge to scold everyone.all those traits of his mother.

But from Laguna.he had never bothered to look. Their relationship was so obvious yet unclear at the same time. Only now could he see it. Their very bone structure was exact. Same facial features, same build, same height.it was all obvious now. Why couldn't he have seen it before? Maybe he could have skipped that whole episode he had had when Ellone told him the truth. Maybe his anger would have lessened and he would have had enough sense to listen to Laguna's story of what had happened in the past, which ended up with him in the orphanage.

He wanted to know.Hyne he wanted to know so badly, and then at least he'd be free of people bothering him about Laguna. If only he had the whole story.then he could legitimately hate him all he wanted too.

Laguna, who was still sitting at the table on the stage, stared back at his son and smiled.

He had surely already gone through the recognition phase back during the war with Ultimecia. Yet this moment was significant for now they both knew. And for the first time they saw each other not associates.but as father and son.

Though his stupid pride and anger was desperately trying to force itself out in some form of rude gesture, Squall held on tighter to Rinoa, and with her by his side, he somehow managed to smile back. And then he made a second promise to himself that night.

One day.not today and definitely not tomorrow, but one day he would agree to hear Laguna's story. He sure as hell didn't expect much to change after that encounter. He'd probably even hate the man more.but then no one would dare say he didn't try.

"Come on," he said to Rinoa, taking her delicate hand into his. "Let's get out of here." She nodded in reply and gratefully followed him up on the stage, as he headed for a small door in the back which she knew led to a small staircase and up onto the second floor hallway.

No sooner was his hand on the doorknob that Squall felt an amazingly strong hand grab his shoulder and pull him back. At first he thought it was no one other than an over-enthusiastic reporter, desperate to get a statement before the commander got away. Then, realizing security was doing a fine job of keeping them all beyond reach, he thought that it was Laguna with his usual horrible timing, hoping to have that "chat". But no.it was even worse than Laguna (and few things are worse in Squall's opinion).

It was into Headmaster Cid's eyes that he glared once he faced the intruder. And no sooner than the commander saw the expression on his superior's face that he knew he wasn't leaving Garden alive.

"We need to talk." He said.

It was a simple statement. Seemingly simple and innocent save to the few who could pick up the pure anger in his tone. It was almost terrifying to see any man, let alone the headmaster, in this sort of fit where pure negative emotion is brought up by personal hurt. Yet the Commander did not waver. Rinoa, sensing his unease, held his hand more tightly. And that was all the reassurance he needed.

"I'm sorry headmaster Cid. But as of this moment I no longer take orders from you."

"Commander Leonhart, if you value your head you will come quietly to..."

"Was that a threat Mr. Kramer?" Squall said in mock offence. "I'm sure the world council would think differently on your appointment as headmaster if they knew you threatened civilians."

"Was THAT a threat Leonhart?.or need I remind you that you work for me?"

"You seem to misunderstand me Mr. Kramer. I just resigned my position." He heard Rinoa gasp besides him and she dropped his hand in complete shock. Cid too seemed surprised, for his mouth hung open in suspense.but a witty comeback would do nothing to save him in this case. Squall, sensing the opportunity to finalize this once and for all, raised his arm to his left shoulder, outlining with his fingers the SeeD emblem patched in gold to his uniform, symbolizing his position as commander. In one swift movement, he tore the patch off his coat and placed it carefully into the headmaster's hands.

A collective gasp was heard from the reporters flocked a few meters away, and though none of them could actually hear the conversation, they knew what was happening. More camera's flashed, the murmur rose significantly in volume, and a surplus of questions poured into their ears from all sides. Yet Cid and Squall still managed to block it all out, as they simply stared.

"Goodbye Cid Kramer." Squall whispered to him, extending his hand for a friendly shake. "It HASN'T been a pleasure. Enjoy you precious Garden and all the fucking prejudice that comes with it."

The headmaster could do no more than stare at the ruined emblem in his hand.it symbolized so much for him. The design of it, much like that of Garden, had seemed so beautiful and bright in his mind. And so it was when it first stated out. Then came the financial problems and with them came NORG and in the end, the academy meant to train people for defense against one of the greatest threats to the world.became nothing more than a form of military prostitution. These youngsters, little innocent orphans like Squall, he sent them to fight for money.and he often sent them to their doom.

With these thoughts continually circling their minds, it was enough to drive anyone mad.

"What has become of us.what is our purpose.?" he whispered to himself, clenching the patch so tightly in his fist that his nails dug into his palm and he began to bleed. Squall's aura of pride and victory quickly turned to worry and Rinoa quickly rushed in between them, gently grabbed the headmaster's wrist in hopes of stopping his self-torture.

"Sir.?" she whispered, bringing him out of his trance. "Sir, are you alright?"

Cid slowly loosened his grip as his tried hard to hold back the tears threatening to surface. Ever so slowly he lifted his head to gaze into the soft brown eyes of Rinoa.and immediately his resolve returned.

SeeD DID have a purpose.HE did had a purpose. And that was to get the Sorceress to Centra by dawn.and the only person who'd be able to pull it off would be Squall himself.

"I'm fine Rinoa dear.thank you." He wiped his eyes quickly with his sleeve and smiled to reassure her. Then, reluctantly, he turned back to his ex- commander. "I accept your resignation Leonhart. But only if, for me, Cid, and not the headmaster, will you please let me speak with you?"

Squall's anger returned.he knew exactly why Cid wanted to talk to him. And he simply refused to give in. He'd probably make up some stupid negotiation about allowing him to see Rinoa but only as long as it was within Garden boundaries and blah blah blah.but he had had enough of compromises. For once in his life he wanted to have complete and utter freedom! And no one was going to take that chance away.

Preparing a 'tasteful' way of saying HELL NO, Squall's thoughts were interrupted but none other than the subject herself.

"Please go see him Squall." she said while stepping in front of him and gazing lovingly into his eyes. "If you really are leaving, then don't you think the man who practically raised you deserves at least as goodbye?" He pondered this for a while and though it was but a request, the fact that she did not order him about made him all the more willing to comply.

"5 minutes" he told the headmaster. Who nodded swiftly and gestured to the same door Squall was planning to make his exit from before.

Turning his attentions back to Rinoa, he kissed he softly on the lips while discreetly slipping a keycard into her hand. "Meet me in my room" he whispered soothingly in her ear and whether it was wishful thinking or not, Rinoa could swear she heard lust in his words. But before she could make a joke as to his intentions, both he and the headmaster were gone.

*Author's Notes* Well what do ya know. It wasn't that short after all. Though I have been sitting here for a REALLY long time and my back is about to break. But it was worth it! Review please!